Because I forgot before: I do not own CSI or anything associated with it. I am merely borrowing the characters for my own amusement.

Chapter 2: Sheding Bitter Tears

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone." -Harriet Beecher Stowe

"Sara?" Nick, Grissom and Brass all looked up at Greg's shout. And so did the forlorn woman herself. Dark brown curly hair cut shoulder length, brown eyes, pale skin- it was obvious who she was.

And it made things so much more complicated.

Without realizing it, Greg set down his kit and ran over to her. "What's going on? What are you doing here? Sara, where's Lis?" His voice rose with every step. He grabbed her shoulders when he reached her, gripping her with a strength he rarely used on her. He wanted to shake her, bring her out of her stupor. It took every ounce of his resolve to restrain himself- that would not help matters. "Where's my daughter?"

Their eyes met. Though her eyes said it all, Sara still opened her mouth. "What do you think? She's gone."

"You lost my daughter?" If people hadn't caught on what was happening before, they certainly were now. Heads turned to stare at the former couple, the mother still clutching the son. If it had been anyone else, an officer would have come up and escorted the distraught man away. Learning that your child is lost is never easy. He would have been sat down in a patrol car, given something to drink and had the situation explained to him in a slow and clear manner. This was not the mother's fault. It just happened, there was nothing anyone could do about it, and the police would make this their top priority. Perhaps not entirely placated, but at least a bit calmer, the father and mother would then be reunited and interviewed together. Things would move on, the officers would continue their job, the criminalists would gather their evidence and the parents would be escorted home to wait through the longest hours of their lives.

But this wasn't just any couple.

The officers knew them. Perhaps not personally, but even though CSIs didn't wear badges, it didn't make them any less part of the team. And while at first no one had recognized the extremely distraught woman as the strong and independent investigator, now coupled with her husband, it was obvious.

What do you do when one of your own is affected?

"How- how could you lose her, Sara? How hard is it to keep track of her for one measly day? How could you let this happen?" He knew he wasn't being rational. He knew that all it took was a second and that Sara couldn't have done anything and that it wasn't her fault. And it was obvious she was hurting as much as he was. Her response before they had arrived at the scene was proof as much.

But he wasn't being rational at the moment. Only Grissom could be rational when his own daughter was stolen away. And he was most certainly not Gil Grissom. He couldn't be expected to treat this as any other case- it would be impossible. And regardless of his and Sara's shaky relationship, she did try. This- it wasn't anything to do with her parenting capabilities. It was an accident, something no one could prevent. But his tortured heart wasn't listening to his scientific brain- and his mouth was connected to his heart. "Why can't you keep track of our children? Why can't you be a decent moth-"

But he was cut off as her hand slapped him hard across the face.

Silence.

Then: "God damn it, Greg! How dare you throw that in my face? You know-" She fell into silence, unable to continue the sentence. Tears had started to fall, trailing down her pale cheeks. She was even more pale than usual, positively white.

But he couldn't stop himself.

"Know that you'd prefer to spend twenty hours a day in the lab instead of five with your children?" He knew he wasn't being fair. He knew that this was not the time to get into the battles that they had been raging inside a court room for the last month. But it was being ripped from him. The hurt of their failed marriage, the hurt of losing the one woman he had believed was his forever- coupled with losing his only daughter? It wasn't just opening wounds. It was opening and then gouging them.

"It's five fucking hours, Sara. Nine to Two. You're off-shift, all you have to worry about is keeping Eirik and Lis alive and healthy and relatively happy for that time period. And you can't even-"

She slapped him again- or attempted to, for he had caught her hand. She squirmed in his grasp, tears-now in full force- streaming down her cheeks. "Grow up! And it isn't like you're faultless either- you make just as many mistakes as I do! Only it's never 'Greg screwed up, he must be a horrible father'- it seems only I get that honor."

"Sara! Greg!" She had lifted her left hand to try to slap Greg again, but this time Nick caught her and pulled her away. Brass was hauling Greg away- something that barely registered on his consciousness. He hadn't even noticed that the two men had come over until they had intervened. "What's gotten into you two?" Nick kept a hold of Sara as he faced Greg. "You both know that this isn't anyone's fault- this isn't the first kidnapping you've worked." His voice was steady as he released Sara. "And- what about Eirik- did you ever think about what it might be like for him to watch first his sister go missing and then his parents get into a fight not much later?"

Nick- full of rationality. Something that both parents needed at the moment.

Brass released Greg as well and both he and Sara turned to face the officer-Newman, Greg though- that was clutching the prone form of their son. Wordlessly, Greg reached out for the child.

"I-" he coughed, "I'm sorry."

"So am I." Sara softly answered, turning to Brass. "I- I assume you need my statement?"

But before Greg could answer, Grissom walked up, frowning. "Greg, you're off the case and I highly suggest taking some leave. Sara-"

"What?" Greg shouted, before noticing Eirik's cringe and the way he burrowed even further into his father's neck. He lowered his voice. "This is my daughter we're talking about- I need to-"

"You need to be off the case because it's your daughter." Grissom turned from him to Sara. "And you need to calm down as well, Sara. You two are both prohibited from working or even coming near this case." Setting down his kit, he pulled out his cell phone. "Not only would it be a nightmare for whenever this gets to court, but you two have both showed how incapable you are to work this. Take the time off, get some rest, be there for your son."

"You can't take me off this case- you're not my supervisor! And why the hell is Graveyard doing this case anyway? It should be Days' case, which means I should be on it." Sara bit out, glaring daggers at the older man. "I am not just going to sit aside while you investigate my daughter!"

"Neither am I." Greg cut in before Grissom could reply. "You already said before that if this did turn out to be a full blown kidnapping, you'd need everyone on it- including me. You can't just-"

"I have to." Grissom said, as he lowered his kit onto the ground and replaced the cell on his belt. "Sara, the reason Graveyard is covering this is because we were already on a double shift and as you know, Days is understaffed at the moment. And Greg, I'll still manage this case without you. Especially now."

"You can't do that!" The ex-couple shouted, causing Grissom to do no more than turn around and look at them both.

More silence until he finally opened his mouth. "Go home, both of you. Catherine will meet you there."

They weren't happy about it, but an officer- one Sara didn't know the name of- lead them to a squad car. "I'm Officer James and I'll be driving you two home. Do you need your cars driven back?"

She'd almost prefer the screaming from earlier, than this quiet pity. She always hated it when people pitied her- and this…situation was just going to turn out to be one huge pity party.

At least she knew how to deal with screaming.

Her first thirteen years were full of screaming and yelling and screeching and roaring. At first she'd hide in her closet with her stuffed dog, out of sight behind the clothes hanging there. When she was older, she would turn on the television to tune out the yells. Only then would she turn it on, usually preferring to read or do some silent activity. Even now, the television was still connected to her attempts to drown out her parents' yelling- which was one of the main reasons she never was one for watching TV.

Greg wasn't much of a screamer. Even during their most heated fights- like the one when she forgot to come home and attend Lissy's sixth birthday four months ago- she had been the one to resort to raising her voice first. It was only after her badgering, that Greg finally joined in, spewing his thoughts like heated barbs- barbs that hurt much more than either of them realized.

That had been the final straw to their already rickety marriage.

"Ma'am?"

Officer James brought her out of her thoughts. Suddenly everything hit her again. This was not the time to lose herself in the past- her daughter was gone- taken, her mind added, when you were supposed to be watching her- what a great mother you must be- and they were standing in front of a squad car while the police and crime lab attempted to make some sense of and progress on the situation.

"I-I'll be fine." She smiled shakily and Greg's tacit look conveyed to her that he didn't believe her one bit.

Officer James didn't seem to believe her either, but she didn't press. "Cars?"

What- oh, right. She cleared her throat. "My Denali- it's in the parking lot."

"Grissom drove, my car's at the lab." Greg shifted Eirik in his arms. Sara almost reached out to take him- but then stopped. She didn't really trust herself with him at the moment…

"We'll need a car seat," Greg continued.

"I think it will be fine to have this one trip without one," the policewoman answered back, opening up the backseat door of the cruiser. "As long as you keep a good grip on him, he should be okay."

Greg didn't protest, which was another sign that he wasn't as fine as he looked either. Greg had dived head first into the parenting pool- reading safety manuals, buying childproof locks (locks that she and he couldn't get open sometimes), making sure that the entire house was childproof and safe and a great place for raising kids. In any other situation, even the mere thought of having Eirik ride in a car without the proper seat would be blasphemy to the man.

She watched Greg get in first, cradling Eirik's head so that he didn't hit it on the door frame as he got in. Greg, she mused, had been meant to be a father. Unlike me, she added bitterly

Sara climbed in herself, buckling up, noticing that Greg had managed to stretch the belt over both him and Eirik. They looked like a picture, she realized. Both she and Greg were both natural (because with Greg, you always had to stress the 'natural') brunettes, with curls. But Lis, like her, had a much darker color than Eirik's chocolate locks he had inherited from his dad. And though Eirik did seem to have her nose and the shape of her eyes, otherwise, his face largely belonged to Greg. Seeing them so close together would have been…sweet, if it weren't for the current situation they happened to be in. Eirik was too old, she thought, to be toted around like a baby.

But…maybe she was wrong.

How well did she really know her kids?

"Where to?" by now the car was moving and Officer James was pulling out of the park.

Clearing his throat, Greg answered first. "Um, we're separated, but probably my place. 1112 Avellino Lane. That's where both Lis and Eirik sleep and that's probably will be where Grissom sends Catherine."

"Right." Sara answered almost inaudibly.

She hated feeling this lost and hopeless.

"Okay, then." The woman fiddled with the controls of the dispatch radio and started to drive. The car lapsed once again into silence and Sara yearned for some kind of noise. Apparently Eirik heard her prayers, because his fast tiny hand reached for and succeeded in grabbing Greg's Mag Lite, which he began to swing around, almost beaming Greg on the head with it.

It brought a smile to her face.

For a fleeting second, she had smiled.

She felt as if she had betrayed Lissy somehow, by feeling amusement for a second.

She wanted her little girl back. She wanted to pick her up and wrap her in a hug and listen to her chatter over her Clifford books and ant farm Uncle Gris had given her for her birthday present- the same birthday where Sara had been the only one absent from- and tuck her in at night.

She wanted to be a mom again.

She hadn't wanted that in years.

"Whoa, kiddo!" Greg's shout and light speed reflexes saved her inches from getting hit hard on the head with the light Eirik was still wielding. "That's it, Eirik. Give Daddy's flashlight back." Shoved up against the door, she watched Greg nimbly grab the flashlight back- and pass it to her.

She stared at him. What the hell was she supposed to do with a flashlight?

"Take it." Greg sing-songed, as he pried his latex gloves away from Eirik as well, and the pen too. "Hurry, while I'm distracting him." He quickly changed his demeanor, clapping his hands with Eirik as he chanted "patty cake, patty cake, baker's man, bake me a cake as fast as you can."

Sara just watched in wonder, clutching a pair of gloves, a flashlight and a pen.

And tears began to slowly trickle down her cheeks again.