Chapter 5: Opposites
"I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate -- its apathy." - Leo Buscaglia
Follow the bugs.
The bugs, like evidence, never lied. They never hid the truth. They couldn't be manipulated. And they were telling him that the bird had died a week ago.
Park workers didn't leave dead birds lying on the ground near the playground for a week. That was just asking for the city to be sued. Parents didn't care for their little ones to be playing near decomposing corpses- human or otherwise. Therefore, the bird had to be planted- and fairly recently.
Question: Who would plant a dead bird?
Answer: Someone who had a motive to do so.
Question: What could that purpose be?
Answer: What effect did the bird have?
Answer to the question that answered the motive question: Lissy Sanders found great interest in the bird.
Question: Where was Lissy Sanders now?
Answer: She was missing.
Conclusion: The bird was planted, drew Lissy to it, and she was kidnapped. Reasonable thought process? Yes. Did the evidence back up said conclusion? Unknown as of yet. Process to determine that? Collect evidence, process bird, perhaps perform autopsy.
Grissom bagged the bird.
He concentrated fully on his work. He wouldn't dare think about little Lissy. He would not become emotionally involved. This was a case- like any other. It wasn't important that both her parents were close personal friends or that he had known her since her birth or that he had given her an ant farm for her sixth birthday and she had brought it with her whenever one of her parents brought her into the lab, to show it to him.
It didn't matter.
It couldn't matter.
This was just a normal case.
He stood up from his crouched position, one hand immediately going to his back. He really needed to get that checked out- but he simply didn't have the time. And he hated going to doctors… Every visit he was fearful that they would discover something to keep him from working.
He couldn't stop working.
The evidence- the cases- the job was his life.
Surveying the ground, he noticed an ant trail and followed it. Ant trails weren't uncommon in parks, but ant trails in crime scenes- no matter how normal they appeared to be- were cause for investigation. And he was awarded.
Quickly glancing around all the trees in the park, he realized something.
Someone had made the effort to leave dead birds around the park. Birds in different stadiums of decay- but dead birds nonetheless. And while most of them were your garden variety of sparrow, there were some that looked different.
He'd need an ornithologist.
He picked bugs off of all the carcasses, bagged the carcasses, bagged the bugs, ignored the pain in his back. He followed the evidence. He tuned out the world around him.
They had to find her.
No, he corrected himself, they had to find the victim. The missing child. Not 'her'. Not anyone you know.
He knew Nick was ticked at him. But he couldn't tell Catherine and Warrick and let them get emotionally involved before they even started looking at the evidence. They had to play this case right. They had to be distant, as they normally would be. They had to work this like any other case.
They couldn't let their emotions get in the way.
Too much was at stake.
"Hey, Grissom! We have a witness!"
It snapped him out of his reverie immediately.
Nick was striding towards him. Grissom finished packing up the evidence bags and containers. "Officer Bilder found a girl who saw something," Nick continued. "Warrick's finished with the bathrooms- nothing out of the ordinary there. And I printed the swings and got a load of prints that Jaqui's going to love me for, but other than that, nothing imperative to the investigation. Catherine called- she's on her way to the lab. Brass is still with Greg and Sara."
"Good." They walked towards the police tape and vehicles were the officers were standing with a teenager. Grissom sized her up. She looked to be in her mid-teens, blonde, blue eyed, dressed decently. She had a backpack hanging off her shoulder and no parents in the vicinity. Either school trip- though school had just gotten out for the summer at most schools- or she just had come to hang out. He figured the second option.
"Mr. Grissom, this is Abigail Carver." The officer- most likely Bilder- introduced the young girl. Turning back to her, he smiled. "Abby, Mr. Grissom would like to ask you some questions."
"That's fine." She smiled pleasantly, stretching out her hand. "Hello, Mr. Grissom."
"What did you see?" He asked, ignoring the hand. She looked surprised at his bluntness, but he ignored it.
"Well," she said flustered, "I was standing over there." She pointed at the grass to the left of the swings. "I like to sit under the tree there and just think, write, draw, listen to my iPod…" She shrugged. "At home, it's always loud and crowded. There are seven kids in my family and well, peace is practically unheard of."
Grissom frowned. Had she just turned to Nick when she mentioned the seven kids? She continued on and Grissom filed the information away for later.
"So I like to go to the park. It's not exactly quiet, but I'm used to the noise and I get left alone and I like the air. It's nice out here." She smiled. "School's out for the summer, so I get up at like eight- which is sleeping in at my house- and grab breakfast and pack a lunch and spend the next nine or so hours here."
"You're here every day from when to when?" Nick interrupted.
"I'm here from around nine to about five. Or six- it all depends. I bring library books with me, I sleep, I have notebooks. I'll be going into ninth grade- and summer school starts up in two weeks. I like the freedom I have at the park and I can study and get stuff done for High School."
Nick nodded and Grissom frowned. If this was true, she would be the perfect witness. As a regular, she would be able to point out abnormal circumstances.
"Anyways," she continued, "I have my cell phone with me and I'm not allowed to skip dinner. I also have to call home every day between twelve and one, so my parents know I'm actually alive and wasn't, well, you know, kidnapped…" She winced. "Like that little girl- what was her name? Libby? Lizzy? I heard the mom screaming, poor woman. It's really awful what happened, and I don't blame my mom for wanting to check up on me, though it can get really annoying. Like, I fell asleep the other day and didn't wake up until after one, and when I called my mom, she was hysterical. Like really pissed at me for missing the call and-"
"Describe what happened this morning." Grissom cut in again. They didn't have time to listen to cute little stories about the girl's life.
"Right, well, okay. So I get here a bit after nine this morning- I was running late. Slept through the alarm, had to wait forever for my older sister Christy to finish in the bathroom before I could get in, had to talk to my mother about summer school before I left. I get here and settle down and start my iPod as I read about enzymes- I'm taking Biology in the fall. I looked up occasionally, just because, well, reading a book about enzymes when you're totally new to them can be a bit overwhelming. So I was thinking, trying to process the info, getting it to sink in. I noticed some things, like this pair of twins- they're here every morning- playing on the swings and the one accidentally fell off and started to cry and the mom came and whisked them both away. And there was this one little kid that tried to eat sand, but boy did his mom move fast and stop him from doing that."
"Did you see the girl in question?" Grissom interrupted again.
"Sure, I'm getting to that." She flashed a large grin at the team. "By that time, it was nearing noon and my iPod was on Louis Armstrong- I remember because my sister, Jane? She's really into playing blues on the piano. I suck at piano, but I appreciate the music. And so I was listening to the song and not doing anything else and I see this commotion. Well," she amended, "not really a commotion. Just that there's this group of kids standing around this tree. And I start to go over and look myself, because there's got to be something interesting to pull ten kids away from playing and then the group goes away and there's just this little girl standing there. I wasn't that close, but I could hear the conversation."
"Wait- what did the girl look like?" Warrick interrupted. "And her mom?"
"The mom was kind of tall- I'm not good at judging how tall people are. And she was wearing slacks- not jeans. Hers were tan- I'd say probably khakis. And she had on a light blue t-shirt, just a normal one. Plain colored; no pattern or picture. And she had on sunglasses, and shoulder length straight brown hair. And she had a gap between her teeth."
"You were that close?" Nick looked at her incredulously.
"No, not really. I just have very good vision." She tapped her right eye. "No glasses or vision problems for me, I see better than 20/20. It's handy."
"Right…" Nick said, changing the subject. "Go on, what did the girl look like and what happened after that."
"Well, the girl had dark hair too, but hers was curly and longer. She had on an orange sweat jacket and jeans. Again, not sure how tall she was, but she seemed to go to the mother's waist. And she had a stick in her hands and the mom was scolding her for messing with this dead bird on the ground. It was actually kind of cute, but then the girl got mad and stormed off and I turned around and went back to my tree. And then I saw the girl on the swings for a bit, but she got off and followed this guy and-"
"What guy?" Grissom interrupted. "Describe the man."
"He was tall, again, not sure how tall, but fairly tall. Wearing jeans, sneakers, brown hair, sun glasses, a white t-shirt with some band name on it- Nirvana- and a blue windbreaker." She cited. "I didn't really think it was anything special, because I just figured he was her dad. I mean, they both had dark brown curly hair and she didn't have a problem going off with him, so…"
"Did he say anything? Did she say anything?"
"He said…I think it was something about a bird. I just figured that the mom didn't like the idea of her daughter messing around with dead birds, but the dad didn't mind. Sort of like my family- my mom would have fits if any of us played around with dead animals, but my older brother Josh? He wants to be a surgeon and used to always try to 'operate' on road kill and it never bothered my dad. He thought it was interesting and would tell people what a great doctor Josh would make."
She took a breath and continued. "So yeah, I didn't think anything of it. Plus I was on the phone with my mom, doing my daily 'call-in' and wasn't really paying attention."
"What direction did they go?" Nick asked, glancing around at the other two CSIs. "And did you see anything else important?"
"They went that direction, into the trees." She pointed to the left, towards where she was sitting before. A direction that led towards a parking lot. "And no, after they left, I hung up, put in my iPod again and then this woman started screaming and I realized it was the same woman as before, but I couldn't really hear her. And then people started talking and going towards her and the police showed up and I realized that it was a kidnapping and that the guy must not have been her husband."
"Unless," she froze, "Was he? I mean, on 20/20 the other night there was a segment on how a large number of kids were kidnapped by the other parent. Oh my, could that have been it? Geez, that's rough, but at least it isn't a stranger…but it's still horrible…"
"The kidnapper wasn't her father. Her father has already been contacted and was nowhere near the scene of the kidnapping when it happened." Grissom cur her off. "Thank you for the information. You'll have to give your name and address and telephone number to the officer and we'll contact you later if we need to speak to you again."
He nodded to the other two men and started to walk away, troubled. This was an interesting and unexpected turn of the investigation and he wondered how much the girl had actually seen and what it might mean.
"Wait!" He stopped and turned. "What about a sketch artist? I've seen cop shows," she blushed, "and they can take the descriptions of suspects from witnesses and draw them. I could do that- sit with an artist and describe the suspect. I saw him, after all."
Sighing, he shared a glance with Nick and Warrick. "It might be a good idea, Grissom," Nick finally spoke up. "She could give us a picture of the suspect and we could give it to the media, have them pass it around. Maybe someone will have seen him or them together."
"All right," he decided. "Officer Bilder? Would you escort her to the station? I'll call Captain Brass."
"Yes, sir." The officer maneuvered her away.
Grissom took out his cell phone and dialed. "Nick, Warrick, take the evidence and go to the lab. I'll meet you there in a bit."
"Yes, boss." The men shared a look and began to gather up the evidence.
He stood there, listening to the cell ring. "Jim, it's Gil. We've got a witness."
"I'm going to put Eirik to bed," Greg finally spoke after Brass had been shown out. He tried to keep his face and thoughts centered on that task, but he couldn't help wonder what having a witness meant. It could be either a curse or a blessing, depending on the validity and honesty of the witness.
He hoped they had an honest witness.
The two three officers assigned to them nodded and Officer James even offered a smile. He began to climb the stairs, believing that Sara was still in the living room. She had barely moved since they had arrived and he was concerned for her. Even if they were divorcing, it didn't mean he had no feelings for her. It just meant that… He wasn't sure what it meant.
He had believed their marriage to be strong and healthy. But he had noticed over the years the way Sara seemed to withdraw- not only from him, but from their children. He understood that she had had a hard time adjusting to married life and children- but it had been almost eight years. And instead of getting better, she seemed to get worse, turning away even more. And whenever they attempted to talk, things just got in the way.
He loved her. And that was the problem.
When she had missed Lissy's sixth birthday, their daughter had been in tears. Their colleagues and friends were uncomfortable. And their marriage began to crack.
It hadn't been the first argument they had had. That honor went to the one three weeks into their relationship, when he had told her to go home after a triple shift and get sleep and she had yelled at him not to order her around. They had resolved it quickly when Grissom ordered her to go home, and he had appeared on her doorstep with an apology, flowers and a speech on how he had just been worried and was looking out for her.
This argument might not have been the first. But it was the loudest and held the most meaning. They had both slung barbs about each other around, hers being about how immature he was and his about her wavering attention in regards to their marriage and family. She might have been more colorful while screaming at him- but his arguments had held the most truth.
They both knew that.
And the next day she had told him she was going to move out.
She was turning away, leaving them behind. She was running away from her problems, not facing them. She was abandoning her two children.
He had tried to reason with her. They both had tried to somehow make things worse. But the crack grew and grew and soon the once strong marriage was falling into pieces. She finally moved out. They both got attorneys.
And they faced the fact that their marriage was completely over.
Yet he still loved her.
He had tried to tell her that- make her see it. But she had refused to, claiming that it was too late. That she 'couldn't be in a relationship anymore', that she was 'romantically stunted', that she was 'meant to be alone in the world like she had always had been'.
If he had had a time machine (and it was very good he didn't), he would have gone back in time and killed everyone who had ever hurt her. She didn't deserve the torturous past she had carried with her throughout her entire life. Damn it, he loved her and so did their children and while yes, she certainly needed some help with how to deal with a family, she wasn't a bad person or anything. She just had to see it.
And she was too damn stubborn to.
Sighing, he entered Eirik's room. Sara had painted it- something she had actually enjoyed doing at the time. Pale green, pale yellow and dark blue were the ambient colors. He had been quite surprised when she confessed to taking art classes at Harvard, but as he surveyed her work, he could see it. She was a good artist and had a good eye for putting the room together.
Shaking his head, he walked over and lowered the boy into his crib. Greg had planned on moving him to a real bed during the summer, but now he wasn't so sure. With Lissy missing…
She'll be fine. He swallowed back tears, running a hand gently over Eirik's hair. He didn't bother to change him out of his clothes- he just removed the shoes and jeans. Checking the diaper and seeing that it was dry, he decided to leave it on. Another thing they had wanted to work on- toilet training. Something else that was going to be pushed aside until Lissy was back.
If she ever comes back.
He had to think positive. He had to believe in her and his friends. The crime lab was the second best in the country. They would find her. They would follow the evidence and find her. And they even had a witness. They had to find her.
He couldn't lose hope.
No matter how terrible it looked.
"Love you, little guy," he whispered, slowly backing away. Eirik stirred, but stayed asleep. Greg pulled the blinds shut and flipped on the baby monitor as well as the lamp on the dresser that functioned as a night light. "Sleep tight. And in the morning, your big sister will be back and everything will be okay and we'll go to Chuck E. Cheese's and you can play there."
He stepped out of the room, closed the door and turned around slowly, sighing. He knew Eirik probably didn't hear him and he also knew that chances were slim that they'd find her by tomorrow. But saying it out loud seemed to make it real. And it gave him something to concentrate on…
"What the hell were you doing?"
He managed to refrain from jumping as Sara interrupted his thoughts. "I thought you were still downstairs…" He drew out, frowning. "If you want to lie down, there's always the guest room. Or our- my room," he corrected quickly, "I don't care." It had been a couple of months since she moved out, but he still had a hard time adjusting to the fact that it was no longer their house, but his.
"I don't want to lie down. I want to know what you're playing at." She crossed her arms and glared at him. The glare had the effect of making the victim feel as if she knew all their secrets and if they were a bug about to get squished. It was highly unpleasant.
He hated when she used it on him.
It always made him squirm.
And it always made him wonder what the hell he had done wrong this time.
"What are you talking about?" He finally managed to ask, trying to stop himself from fidgeting. So far, he had been pleasant to her. Well, except for the 'incident' in the park. But she had slapped him and had screamed back, so he figured they were even. He had kept his distance since then, letting her have her solitude and not bothering her or badgering her about anything.
What had he done?
"You know damn well what I'm talking about, Greg. You just proved to Brass what a super-dad you are and how incompetent I am." Her voice was raised and Greg was suddenly very aware of how close they were to Eirik's room- namely standing in front of it. He did not want to deal with a cranky two year-old who had missed his nap. He had half a mind to set him loose on Sara then- which would be cruel. If he had trouble with Eirik, then Sara would have at least ten times that amount. But at the moment, he was feeling a bit vindictive. Having your daughter kidnapped while in the care of your ex, as well as having that ex scream at you for no reason hours later would do that to a man.
"What, you mean the scene in the park? If so, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you, but I was a bit upset and surprised. It's not every day you walk into a crime scene and learn that the victim is your own daughter." He kept his voice low and steady. "And if you want to continue to discuss this matter, I suggest we move somewhere else. I do not want Eirik waking up due to your loud voice."
"That's not what I meant." She glared at him, but followed him anyway as he led her into the Master Bedroom. "How the hell did you know what she was wearing exactly? Did you fucking memorize it, just to show me up, or what?" She slammed the door and he winced at the noise.
Dear God, please, please do not let that have woken Eirik up…
"That's it? That's what you're so pissed at me for?" He stared at her incredulously.
"Catherine already thinks I'm the worst mom in the world and she got her proof today and now you show me up in front of Brass. That's just fucking asking for rumors to be spread and because of the Amber Alert it's going to get on TV and now the entire city, if not state, depending on how the case does, will now see how screwed up I am."
"That's not what I was trying to do," he ventured hesitantly. As she held her tongue, he continued. "Thanks to Catherine and Lindsey, our resident fashion divas, Lissy refuses to wear anything but Gap. Or," he amended, "anything with Scooby Doo or a few other cartoon characters on it. It wasn't hard to guess that what she was wearing was from Gap. Plus," he moved and sat on the bed, "I spent twenty minutes this morning with Nora and Lissy looking for that shirt. I was almost late to a scene because Lissy wanted to wear that shirt so much today and we couldn't find it. It was behind the dryer. And those jeans are her favorite. It was common sense, Sara. Not any 'super powers' or me wanting to show you up."
"Plus," he admitted, "last time I saw Lissy was after we found the shirt and I had to run out of the door. I wasn't traumatized at the time."
"Are you saying that caring for my daughter traumatizes me?" She bit out, moving to stand in front of him.
"No," he stated clearly, "I meant that I had no reason to block the events of this morning from my head, unlike you. When I saw Lissy for the last time, it was seven am and I was on my way to a scene after an hour break between shifts. You, on the other hand, last saw her right before she was kidnapped and so you have a hard time remembering because it was so upsetting. But," he added, even though the alarm bells in his head were warning him away from finishing the sentence, "it's no secret you have issues with-"
"Fuck you."
He froze.
"Just fuck you, Greg. You think you're prefect? Well, you're not. You're anything but. You're childish and immature and reckless and haughty and-"
"I am not haughty!" He yelled. "What the hell are you on to think that? When have I ever given the impression that I'm condescending or anything like that?"
To hell with having a proper conversation with her. If she wanted a fight, she was going to damn-well get one.
"Oh, I don't know," she looked to the side and tapped her finger on her chin. "Oh, how about the way you continue to alienate our kids from me? Going on about how terrible a mother I am and how you 'don't know if I can handle the kids by myself?'" She finally quoted, glaring furiously at him. "It's all over the lab- I have complete strangers asking me if I can handle my own children. Do you know what it's like to have everyone watching you and worried if you can survive a day- five hours- as you put it earlier, with your kids? As if I'm completely incompetent?"
"I never said that," he stubbornly declared. "And certainly not in the lab-"
"Yes, you did," she cut in. "Three weeks ago. You had an appointment with your lawyer and were discussing it with Nick and he asked what you were doing with Lissy and Eirik and you said you were leaving them with me, but you were worried about me watching them by myself and someone overheard and told the entire lab."
Greg furrowed his brow in thought. What was she talking- oh, right. He remembered. And it had been sort of like it. Just that the eavesdropper- who he was personally going to hunt down later- got it wrong. "That's not what I meant," he explained. "Remember? You had the flu and were just getting over it and I told Nick that I wasn't sure if you could handle the kids while you were still getting over it. That was when Ecklie had to order you to go home and called the paramedics on you and it was only five days later that you had to look after the kids and I wasn't sure if you were up to it."
"Yeah, but the rumors were still there before." Sara shook her head and Greg was shocked to see the glint of tears on her cheeks. "Most people wouldn't have believed it- or at least it wouldn't have gotten so out of hand unless there was precedent."
"And you think I had something to do with it?" He ventured, frowning. She thought that low of him? She actually believed he would say such a thing to their friends, to their coworkers? He wasn't sure if he should hurt or angry. In any case, tears prickled in his eyes. It was too much. Everything was too much.
She ignored his question, continuing on. "Remember when Lissy was a baby and you locked her in the car by accident? Everyone teased you for months- it was a big joke. And then I do that with Eirik and suddenly I'm a terrible mother. It's not like I meant to lock him in the car. It wasn't even me- it was Lissy who got out and shut the door before I could get my keys. But everyone blamed me for it and Catherine, among others, was unbearable about it."
"So you're blaming me now for something that happened over two years ago? That's rich." He spit out. "I have never said anything against you in public and I feel insulted that you would ever think that of me, Sara."
"You feel insulted from me?" She shrieked. "That's ridiculous! You're the overbearing one in this marriage, the problem causer!"
"What?" He jumped up from his seat on the bed. "I'm the problem causer? You're the one who walked out- who wanted out!"
"Because you were being impossible to live with! I had no choice- it was either get out or do something crazy like hurt myself!" She yelled back, tears openly falling down her cheeks now. "I couldn't stand being married to you anymore- so I left!"
"Yeah, well, wake up call, we're still fucking married!" He shouted back. He knew that if the noise escalated just a bit more, there was a good chance Eirik would wake up and they'd have the officers downstairs come running. But- he couldn't stop. "And even if we weren't, we're still connected because we have two children!"
"Maybe I never wanted children!" She shouted. "You were the one obsessed with having kids! And I was the one stuck raising them-"
"You raised them? You hated to be alone with either of them! You hated to do anything with them- you still do! It's like pulling teeth to get you to do stuff with them!" He took a step so they were standing face to face, inches apart.
"Then take them! Go ahead! I don't want anything to do with them if that's how you feel about it!" She was red in the face, tears still streaming down. If he hadn't been so mad at her, he would have felt sorry for her. But his anger won out- and grew every second.
"I would! Except they love you, Sara! You're their mother! How do you think they'd feel if you were to just take off, never see them again?" He shouted back. "There are more people in this world besides you, Sara! They'd be crushed! They want you!"
"Well, I don't want them! I never wanted them!"
And without thinking, he yelled back. "Well, that's great then, because you already lost one! One down, one more to go, is that it, Sara? You fucking lost her and you're happy about it!"
Complete silence.
Shit.
He had gone too far.
He had let his anger and pain take over.
He had lost control.
Damn it.
Instantly, she was deflated. He watched her turn ashen, sway with contemplation over the verity of his heated words, before her feet gave out from under her and she fell.
He didn't think. He just acted.
He grabbed her before she fell, making sure she didn't hit it on anything. Her eyes flickered as he cradled her torso against his chest.
And then he did something very stupid.
He kissed her.