Kitsune: Hey all! This isn't meant to offend anyone or anything, as it's just a fic of personal expression AGAINST Uchihacest. (That is, Sasuke/Itachi pairings in fanfics.)
Joining them in their journey is my fancharacter Cole, who is Sasuke's evil older sister, and Itachi's twin. (He's older by two minutes). Having said that, let the creepy OOCness begin!
Disclaimer I don't own Naruto or any of its licensed characters. I don't own the idea for this story, as I saw a similar D.N. Angel one which inspired me to do this. I do not own Code Lyoko, which I butcher in this story. I do however, own Cole Uchiha. Do not use without permission.
It was a lovely day outside. The birds were chirping, the children were out playing, and there was a light, pleasurable breeze in the air. So how do the Uchiha siblings choose to spend their time on this one of a kind spring day? Sitting inside, reading stories on of course!
'This story looks promising…' Cole thought to herself, reading the summary. Halfway through, however, she exclaimed, "I love this song!" and turned up the radio, clicking on the link to the story as she did. Unfortunately, she didn't read the fanfiction's pairings…
"It was my lucky day today on Avenue A, when a lady in a limousine drove my way…" Cole sang along with her RENT soundtrack. Her voice was very poor, but who cares? "She said, 'Dahling, be a dear. Haven't slept in a year! I need your help to make my neighbour's yappy dog disappear. This Akita—WHAT THE HELL?" The cry was echoed from each of the Uchihas' rooms, as they'd all had an encounter with a frightening breed of fanfiction, codenamed: Uchihacest. They tore out of their rooms at top speed, and met in the main hall.
"I'm truly and utterly scarred for life…" Sasuke muttered.
"No, you were scarred for life when the birthday cake Cole made you exploded," Itachi reminded him. "But seriously, that was just…"
"Ew?" Cole suggested.
"Ew."
"We've gotta stop Xana!" Sasuke said determinedly. "I mean… We have to stop people from posting these things!"
"Agreed. To the factory!" Cole shouted, grabbing her brothers' arms and dragging them to the door.
Itachi sat down in a huge chair that swung around to face a supercomputer of sorts.
"Any news from Aelita?" Sasuke asked. "Dammit why does that keep happening? I meant, any new fanfiction posts?"
Itachi nodded gravely. "They increase by leaps and bounds… HEY!"
Cole had walked over and roughly snatched a pair of thick rimmed black glasses off of Itachi's face.
"Dude, this is NOT Code Lyoko, and you are NOT Jeremy!"
Itachi muttered something under his breath. "Fine. Get to the scanner room…"
"When did we get a scanner room?" Cole asked.
"More importantly, when did she get here?" Sasuke asked, pointing at the fangirl that had just glomped him.
"Hey! It's Hotaru! The number one Sasuke fangirl!" Cole said.
"Yes, it is I, Hotaru! I have come to help you all sort out this mess and punish those who write fanfictions that diminish the Uchiha name!" Hotaru said in a cheesy superhero-ey voice, striking a pose to match.
"All ready?" Itachi asked a few moments later. "Here we go!" He struck a few random keys on the keyboard. "Transfer Sasuke. Transfer Hotaru. Transfer Cole. Scanner Sasuke. Scanner Hotaru. Scanner Cole. Virtualization!"
Before they knew what was going on, Sasuke, Hotaru, and Cole were swimming in the sea of words that was which way's the activated tower? DAMMIT! I meant, where's the first story?" Sasuke asked nobody in particular.
"There," A booming voice from above them said.
"Holy crap! I'm sorry Jesus, don't kill me!" Cole said, covering her head with her arms.
"That's not Jesus! It's just our stupid brother," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.
They followed the link to an Uchihacest story, which magically took them to the authoress' door.
"Lyke, totally OMG!" She shouted. "It's Sasuke!"
"Great, a raving fangirl…" Hotaru muttered, drawing a kunai and stepping in front of Sasuke.
"Hey. You." Cole addressed the girl. "You wrote that fanfiction, didn't you?"
"Oh my gosh I did! Wasn't it like, totally sweet? Especially when you and Itachi—"
"No, it was not sweet. I understand that Itachi's ego is so big that he thinks every woman in the world wants him, but I should think that that excludes his sister!" Here, she stabbed the girl with a kunai, no questions asked.
The same thing followed several more times, with varying stories and fans. They will be cut out due to the violence on Cole's part.
(Sasuke: Cole didn't even do anything bad. The authoress is just lazy…)
For the better part of an hour, the three traveled among the fanfictions, weeding out the author/authoresses, and making sure that they would never write an Uchihacest fanfiction ever again.
"Okay, send us home!" Hotaru yelled to the sky.
Itachi typed in an activation code and struck a key on the keyboard. The latter was just to make him look smart, however… "Return to the past, now!"
And so, once again, the day is saved thanks to the Uchiha Siblings! Plus Hotaru…
(Sasuke: Kitsune, how many television shows are you going to mutilate before the nights over?
Kitsune: I like to keep my records up…)
HAPPY END!