Chapter 2: A obtenu d'avoir les hamsters d'emo - Gotta have the emo hamsters.

In a flash the lesbians were gone. A big, flashy flash, with sparks and smoke and such... pink sparks, naturally. A bang, too. A most tremendous bang which rumbled through Hogwarts like thunder. Another, equally impressive (if not more so than the last) bang shook the castle once more, this time covering up Dumbledore's departure.

"Aaah!" Harry screamed in agony once more, clutching his forehead in a desperate bid for attention. "The agony! It burns!"

"Oh shut up Harry." Hemione scowled. She pointed her want at Harry and muttered something under her breath. Moments later a small, canary shaped spark came from it and hit him on the head, leaving another lightning bolt shaped scar next to his original. "Any more moaning and you'll get more, and they might start coming in more interesting shapes too."

"B...but I'm the hero of this place. You people are meant to love me I'm world famous, I am."

Ron chuckled. "Nobody cares anymore, Harry. Look around the room, does it look like we're fussed about a little scar hurting? No. Everyone wants to know where the lesbians and Dumbledore got to!"

"I HATE lesbians." Harry growled.

"Say cheese!" Said Colin, taking yet another picture of Harry.

"Well at least you still have a fan, eh, Harry?" Chortled Ron.

If looks could kill Ron would have been mutilated and tortured to death, if it weren't for the fact that Harry was far too goofy looking to be menacing anyway.

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By this stage Charlie was beginning to doubt the navigational skills of Sebastian, but he was insistent that the red arrow on the compass pointed the way they wanted to go.

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Steve stared at yet another sudoku puzzle. His mind boggled at the sheer complexity of the task, actually getting the numbers in the right place... life doesn't get much harder. He considered the alternatives. There were only two other ways to achieve enlightenment, and those were just, well, silly. They could go around in fairy costumes consuming vast amounts of gerbils. However Dave felt that it would be cruel, and that the RSPCA were likely to find them before they found enlightenment. It was that or train an army of emo hamsters to take over the world, and that didn't seem very enlightening to Steve, so there they were, playing sudoku. And it was only Tuesday too, they would have to last another two days before the trip to the chippie, and he only had three pencil stubs and one tin of sharpenings left to keep him going. It was tough, being a Ninja Sudoku player.

Dave came round from his earlier collision with the wall. "Steve, I'm hungry."

"So?"

"Let's sing a song!"

"How the hell is a song meant to help your hunger?"

"It will take your mind off it." Dave smiled.

"But I'm not the hungry one."

"You said you were hungry though."

Steve slammed his head into the desk, repeatedly.

"See, all that hunger is driving you mad. Here, I'll sing a song , it will help, honest!" Umbilical Dave started to hum a merry little tune.

Mariachi Steve groaned in anguish as the song started. As it continued, so did he. By the interval he was begging for Dave to stop. However Dave was by this stage so engrossed in his song-making that he could barely contain the second half till after the audience had been to the toilet. Luckily it didn't last long, for Steve had little left to excrete by that stage.

The second half began.

A little part of Steve died. Only a little one, though. His music was pretty awful too, so audio-torture had a slightly limited effect on him.

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Charlie was pretty miffed. Sebastian was busy looking through his pocket dictionary for 'miffed.'

"Oook?"

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