/ Welcome to the Real World/
-lawlesspriest-
0.2 - a question of salvation
The icy wind blew by him as his feet carried him across the froze landscape. His goal lay ahead by some miles, but miles were no more than a few meters to him.
Time had always been his enemy, a complex variable standing in the way of his ambitions, his purpose. But he could not fail his purpose. No, not this one, for the fate of all things hung rested on a precarious ledge awaiting just the right amount of push in either direction to decided whichever future, whether it be doom or salvation, the world would meet.
There would be no backup for this mission. He knew that the others would never make it in time. Only he could do what was needed. He was the One, the only one who could do it. So he ran. He ran like the devil himself was on his tail, but in reality, the devil lay ahead of him and was quietly waiting for him to make his appearance.
Bounding over an icy hill he landed as softly as would a feather on a roll of silk. Little things like gravity were but a joke to him, more of a figment of his imagination. It he wished it to be, it would, if not, it wouldn't. This power that he held within was all that stood against those that would see the world burned to ash as they resurrected it in their own image, becoming a feeding ground for their twisted designs, a prison for those who's minds were once free.
But these extraneous thoughts were of no use to him now, for there it was. There up ahead, dug right into the iceberg was the research camp. Wasting no thought on his enemy 'Time' he leapt, soaring into the air. The guards below had no idea what hit them as the ground beneath their feet became an instant crater, burying them into it's frozen depths.
He carried nothing for the mountains of ice that shattered before him, the biting cold of the Antarctic winds or its below zero temperatures. These things were nothing but a brief inconvenience. He was numb to the world, blind to everything other than his goal and only it held color in his eyes.
A thundering crash signaled his arrival as huge chunks of ice fell behind him in his wake. Floating above the huge cavern, even he couldn't help but be amazed at the size of the sleeping being buried under the enormous mass of ice below him.
"Well, well, well. We're glad you could join us Mr. Anderson. But I am afraid that you are too late." One of the eternally pressed and suited men called from below as a machine of some sort was inserting the Lance into the Its side.
Now was his chance. He couldn't delay any longer.
"No! I will not fail." And with this cry, he flew. The machines below him shot at his fleeting form, but their bullets were too slow, too slow by far as they rippled behind his speeding body only to impact into the cavern's ceiling above while he passed by unharmed.
Grabbing the bizarre twisted two pronged weapon the size of a 40 story building, the One pulled with all his supernatural might. Pain erupted from his back as their bullets pierced him from behind but he kept on while his life blood seeped down his hands as inch by slow inch the ancient weapon slipped further and further out of the paled skinned giant.
After a while their deadly shots ceased and a stifling silence filled the air only to be disturbed by the slow yet steadily increasing pitch of the machine like men below's laughter.
'What the hell are they laughing?'
Not stopping his actions he glanced at their amused forms that were now bordering on hysteria. In all his time fighting their kind he had never known them to laugh... Smirk evilly, yes. Give a sadistic little chuckle, occasionally, but this. 'What the...' He never got to finish that thought as the sleeping beast began to glow with a light so bright it rivaled the sun.
His last vision was that of the once slumbering form rising as it ripped the Lance from its side with an ease that was all the more terrifying because of its size. It was then that the awesome power he sensed within its massive build reached a critical mass, burning out his eyes even as it began its destruction of the continent known as Antarctica,
'I've...'
02 - a forgotten memory
'... failed.'
A whisper of a dream flitered through my murky thoughts.
"I don't care about anything like that! Why do I have to be here at all? It's not like he's not going to wake up!"
And then I could hear voices...
"He's the INVINCIBLE SHINJI IKARI, remember. Why should I have to worry about him at all?"
voices... in my head, shouting in my brain like a hangover
"This isn't normal Asuka! Haven't you noticed how strange he's been acting of late and now this? People just don't make a habit of fainting and not waking up for days, Asuka!"
and they were only getting louder.
"What's your point? Nothing the Baka does is normal. Besides, what does our being here supposed to do? He can't hear us Misato."
"It's just for support, whether he can hear us or not. You know we would do the same for you."
"Sure Misato, whatever."
I wasn't sure if it was a dream or something else, but I didn't seem to have enough energy to open my eyes so my vision remained dark, forcing my imagination to come up with the corresponding images.
I pictured a surprisingly accurate picture of myself in one of Nerv's standard hospital beds, but truly considering just how many times I had been in one of those beds I figured it probably wasn't as surprising as it seemed, but that aside, judging from the placement of their voices I imagined Asuka a little to my left, sitting a chair across the room and not happy with it, while Misato sat to right, next to the bed, her expression slightly angry yet warring with her worry.
It wasn't unusual that they would be arguing over me, their stark differences in opinion concerning me made that inevitable, but this fight was different somehow.
I don't know how, but it almost seemed as if I could hear their thoughts, know what they were going to say before they said it, but the words themselves were lost, leaving only the hazy memory behind like some lilting voice in the back of my mind whispering to me secrets that I could almost comprehend only to fade from my memory right before the moment of understanding.
The insanity of this aside I could swear that I could sense a worried tension in Asuka voice and Misato's was all but screaming at me. I knew this to be an impossible conclusion obviously, but yet something within would not let me blow it off as a passing fancy.
'It's just like the cup all over again.'
"So we're just supposed to sit here and wait for that idiot to wake up?"
"Asuka we ..." The major's phone chose that moment to interrupt.
"Yes, hello? ..... I see. ... sigh. Yes I'll be there soon, Sir. Bye."
Even without my sight I could tell Asuka was getting even further annoyed by this. Extra senses or not I had spent enough time with the girl to know her moods... ok, maybe not enough time considering a few of those times she completely stunned me, but I still had a general idea of how her mind worked and I knew it was slowly coming close to full rage right about now.
"Please before you say anything, Asuka, I know you don't want to be here, but do this for me just this once?"
"I'm not that baka, those puppy dog eyes aren't going to work on me."
The silence lasted for about three minutes and I felt their emotions and the games they both played behind the scenes, knowing the victor long before the red head gave in.
"Baka. Now look what you've got me into." She said after our guardian had left.
Strangely it was quiet for a long time and my senses were having serious feedback issues because they kept telling me that Asuka was crying.
Now, I knew that to be an another impossibility. Asuka Langley Sohryu doesn't cry and that one time that night way back when was only a technicality. So what the hell was going on?
"Baka." her near silent sob virtually shook me. I say virtually because I couldn't actually move at the time but if I could, I would have.
'She's crying, for me? Asuka's crying for me? What is the world coming to?' Now I knew this to be a dream. Yep, just a fever dream brought on by whatever it was that caused me to pass out in the first place. It had to be...
"You had better come back you Baka, you hear me. Stupid Shinji leaving me alone with Misato's cooking. Nobody cooks Miso soup like you do."
'She actually likes my cooking?' so what was with all those times she yelled that it was the worse she'd ever had or that she'd rather have take out than to have to deal with another one of my boring Japanese dishes.
"And how am I supposed to fight the Angels now, huh? The doll's no proper back up. NO! I can do it on my own! I don't need him, I don't need anyone!"
Apparently there was a whole lot more to Asuka than I had originally known. But I heard no more of her ranting as I lost consciousness once more, yet leaving my mind with images of a young girl with a heart torn by pride.
/WRW/
I woke again to a familar ceiling but unlike usually, this one I was rather glad to see, hell I was rather glad to see anything. For a moment there I had believed that I had gone blind. Can't fight the Angels blind, now could I. And who would be Asuka's back up then, right?
Sitting up was a test of determination. My whole body felt so weak... so useless, but my mind was so free, so... open. I was aware of everything that was around me. Like the blue haired girl sitting across the room, exactly where a red head had once sat only a few days ago. Oh, and I didn't miss the cup of water she had ready on the side.
"Hello, Ayanami. Is that for me?" I asked pointing to the cup without looking.
"Hai. Are you well, Ikari?"
"I don't know. But I believe that I am better."
/WRW/
"And here we are. Aren't you glad to be back home Shinji?" Misato was saying to me. The smile she wore was of relief as we exited the car and boarded the elevator.
"Yes, I guess I am."
"Good!" the elder women said with enthusiasm as the ping announced our floor. "Because so am I. We really missed you Shinji, you had us so worried."
"I didn't mean to be a bother Misato, it's just..." I was very close to telling her the whole story, but... I just couldn't. I just wasn't ready. "I didn't mean to make you worry. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You have nothing to feel sorry for. No one can take into account things like this. They just happen." She was saying, but somehow I doubted that. Things like 'this' didn't just happen.
"Anyway, I'm just glad your alright. I can't have anything happen to my little Shinji-kun." The giggle she gave as she hugged me close brought a small smile to my lips. Misato would always be Misato. And that was just the way I wanted it to be.
We were at the door by then and I couldn't help but think that once again I was.. home. A place that for a long time had only lived within my dreams. Well maybe my dreams were coming true.
"Don't worry about dinner, I sure we can find something to eat, I could order take out or ..." Misato said as she opened the door.
"WELCOME BACK SHINJI!" the cry went up from within.
"Or we could just throw a party instead." Misato finished.
I was speechless and my hanging mouth was proof of this. Everyone was there, smiling as if they had had a long drought and after months of pouring rain the sun had finally come out.
"Well, you gonna stand there Baka or are you gonna come in? I know you missed me but do you have to stare?" Asuka's question brought me back as I closed my mouth, but I couldn't take off the goofy smile I had on throughout the entire party.
"Welcome home Shinji." I heard Misato say softly as we came in. And for some time I was truly glad to be there.
/WRW/
The bell signaled the end of class and we all gathered our things and left. Ken was headed off to the Arcade and Hikari and Asuka were going shopping, while Misato was out of town. It was going to be another lonely day, but I was alright with that.
Even with weeks since my return I still had a lot to deal with and I needed time to think it all through. And the happy vibe I gained at the party couldn't sustain me long. Not with what was happening to me.
So I took the long way home, listening to the birds giving their cheerful song to the public as if they were trying to lighten my gloomy mood. The trees swayed in the wind and people walked calmly down the sidewalks with children at their heels.
The world moved on to its regular beat, everything keeping to its normal pace, yet I knew that there was more to it all, a deeper mystery lying underneath the daily routines of work, home and school, whether I knew what any of it meant was another matter all together, though.
'What was happening to me? I can't talk to anyone at Nerv. Who knows what they would say? Dr. Akagi, what would she tell father? What would he do?'
I really didn't want to think about that. To him I'd be even more useless than before. No more Misato, no more Asuka, Toji, Kensuke, Rei.... no more Eva. That would probably be the only good thing that would come out of it, but then what would I be without Eva? What use would I have?
... sigh.
I couldn't help but sigh. No one could help me. My friends would leave me and Nerv would have me locked away saying that I was mentally unstable or something of its like. But was I? The code just seemed so real, too real, almost more real than... than... the real world.
I had to take a seat at a near by bench to calm myself. With my hands covering my face, holding my head up just barely, I must have been one pathetic sight. No amount of bird song was going to be able to lift my spirits.
'If only I could....' my sentence cut off mentally, my thought process was interrupted, more like shaken or shattered.
FEAR
I'd never felt like that before except when I was in Eva. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
Looking up, I glanced around, my gaze panicked. Searching among the crowd I saw nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing but smiling faces, and men and women in business suits on their way to some important meeting or another. It was a lie. I wasn't safe there so I left, wandering aimlessly down the busy streets of the fortress city Tokyo 3. The same city that I protected, the same city that seemed to be driving me insane and it held whatever unseen danger that was stalking me.
I made it to a ramen shop somewhere in the middle of the city and decided to sit down with a good view of across the street, ordering something random on the menu.
People passed me by and I ate my meal quietly all the while keeping an eye on those around me. I would have missed it if I hadn't been so paranoid.
It was a man, just like any other. A business man in a nice, cleanly cut suit and tie with dark shades that hid his eyes.
'One of father's Section 2 agents?' I thought. No, this man was something else, something more than passively menacing, something more than the regular indifferently formal watch dog of my father's.
I snuck peeks at him out of the corner of my eye and for a fleeting second I could have sworn he looked me in the eye, but that's when I saw it and all pretense that this man was normal fled
His code... it was... corrupted for a lack of a better weird. It was green yet... like Rei's it didn't end there, but I wasn't that it held another source or the like, it was that it lacked one. Everyone I had every seen had a full code, there weren't any missing areas, even Rei with her two sets were whole. But not this man. No. His was ... I didn't know. I couldn't place it, but it had the impression that it was cold, almost dead.
'What now? What the hell am I supposed to do now?'
Racking my brain produced no answers. I had to get away, there was no question about that, but how and where to? They would no doubt follow me and I had no doubts that there were more. Something inside just would not let me believe other wise. It had done me right so far so I would trust it again, but I needed a plan of action.
I had to keep moving, just like before with father's Section 2 agents, but I knew that even that would not be enough, but it was a start. So I paid for my meal and headed off, walking down the sidewalk at a casual pace. No need to look as paranoid as I felt inside. I choose turns at random but all the while taking a round about way leading back home to Misato's.
They followed of course, always at a safe distance as if they were casually strolling down the same path as me. There were times when they would even drop back out of sight completely and for brief moments I would believe that I had truly lost them, but that was never the case.
'I can't go back home. They'll know where I live then. Man what I wouldn't give for a... '
The honking of a blue car's horn parked to the left of me stopped me in my tracks.
'Misato?'
"Hey Shinji! I thought it was you. You look like you need a lift."
There with the window rolled down looking out with a smile on her face was my savior, Ms. Ibuki. I took a quick look around, but my followers were gone, lost in the crowd.
"Um, If it wouldn't be TOO much trouble..." I began.
/WRW/
The ride was ridden in silence, but it wasn't as awkward as it could have been. Keeping myself calm took up more of my concentration than usual. Not five minutes before I had been chased by an unknown number of unsavory individuals for some reason or another and now I was alone in a car riding to safety with an older, pretty young women. So of course I was having a bit of a time trying to calm myself.
And it seemed Ms. Ibuki noticed as well.
"Are you alright Shinji? You've been a bit off of late and I'm not just talking about the sync test."
Obviously she noticed a lot more.
"I'm fine. I... I've just had a lot on my mind." That one always worked and should hold any other thoughts she might have on the subject.
The screeching of the tires an the serious look she threw my way told me otherwise.
'0 for 2. This really hasn't been my week has it.' I couldn't help but think.
"Shinji. I know that we don't talk to each other a lot, but if something is bothering you I want you to know that you can come to me about it. Misato isn't the only one who cares about you, you know."
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing care forth. What could I say to that. 'She cared?'
"Why?" I didn't mean to say that part out loud, but it was too late.
The brown eyed women merely smiled.
"The usual reasons, Shinji. And no, it's not because you're an EVA pilot and all of our lives rest on you shoulders. I don't know, I guess I just ... like you."
Once again, I was left speechless. Maya Ibuki liked me. I knew Kensuke and Toji would have flipped hearing that, but I knew that she didn't mean it like that. She ...
"I considered you a friend, Shinji. And friends talk to each other about there problems. We can't solve everything on our own you know."
'...sigh'
I couldn't tell her. She wouldn't believe me, and if she did.... But I couldn't get away from her soft smile and those kind eyes.
And in the end.... I gave in.
/WRW/
She took me to her place and we sat and talked. She actually listened and didn't judge me for what happened. I told her about the first time with the cup and what really happened the day I ran away. Her eyes widened at that and she looked as if she was about to say something, but instead kept it too herself.
I didn't actually go into detail with what happened with Rei, even I knew that would be too weird so I made it seem like all of the other events, and finally ending with the Suited Men who followed me.
For a few silenent moments she said nothing, her eyes closed and her brow furrowed. Worry buried itself deep into my heart.
'Did I make the right choice. Maybe I shouldn't have told her. She'll think I'm crazy! Look at her, she thinks I'm nuts! She's going to tell father!'
I was about to make a beeline for the door but she called my name and somehow her voice stopped me. That simple word that changed my life and the fate of the world. But I didn't know that then. Hell, I knew personally and with great detail just how much I didn't know as she told me 'her' story...