She's roused from sleep by quiet moaning and grunting and a soft rhythmic sound that she's never heard before. She lies there disoriented for some time as she slowly wakes. Once she's coherent enough, she realizes the sounds are coming from the bathroom.
Curiosity gets the better of her and she groggily crawls out of bed. She stumbles across the floor to the door of the restroom and silently pushes it open. What she sees nearly breaks her heart and quickly sends her into further depression.
He's sitting on the toilet lid, leaning against the tank with his head back and his eyes closed. The sink is blocking part of her view, but it looks like he's only wearing his respirator. If the grunting and rhythmic shaking of his body is anything to go by, she knows exactly what he's doing.
"I'm sorry, Abe," she whispers before she turns and runs from the room.
For so long he seeks completion, but only finds frustration. He thinks of every erotic thing they've done. He thinks of everything he'd like to try. The muscles in his arm are aching and he's reapplied lotion so many times he's lost count.
Then he hears her soft voice which sends him flying over the edge so violently that he barely catches himself in time to keep from crashing face first onto the floor. He stays on his hands and knees for several minutes as his seed spills all over the small rug in front of the toilet. With one final shudder, he picks himself off of the floor and then cleans up after himself.
As he's pulling his shorts back on, he notices that the door is open. He remembers only leaving it ajar, so this new position is curious. He steps across the room as he's zipping up his shorts. When he touches the door with his bare hand to shut it, his heart nearly stops dead in his chest.
He rushes into the bedroom and sees the empty bed. He can see the door to his tank room is open and that's all he needs to know. He charges out the door, intent on finding his now missing wife.
He doesn't have far to go as he finds her curled up in a ball next to the doors leading to the platform elevator. Guillermo is with her talking softly to her as he kneels down next to her. Abe knows that Guillermo sealed the doors to keep her from escaping and in her current state, she's no match for him.
Abe steps up behind the librarian, puts his feet on either side of the man's legs, hooks his arms in the armpits and hauls Guillermo to his feet. Abe holds him up until he's sure that Guillermo can stand on his own. Guillermo moves out of Abe's way and Abe takes Guillermo's spot.
"The only thing I can get out of her is that she keeps saying she's a horrible wife," Guillermo tells him.
"She walked in on me when I was trying to…relieve some tension," Abe tries to explain and he can practically hear the man's eyebrows go up.
"Explain," Guillermo nearly demands with a soft stomp of his cane.
"I was in the bathroom…well, there's no delicate way to say this," Abe replies softly as he pulls her into his arms. "I was masturbating."
"Have any luck?" Guillermo asks as Abe stands with Maggie shuddering in his arms.
"At first, no," Abe answers as he heads for the stairs. "In fact it was quite frustrating. Then I heard her voice and I reached climax rather violently. I thought it was all in my head until I touched the door. She said she was sorry and then she ran."
"I swear Hellboy and Liz are so much easier to deal with than you two and Liz still isn't fully trained," Guillermo grumbles as he heads for his desk at a slower than usual pace. "I seriously wonder what Maggie's Teacher was doing not telling her the basic facts of life as a Mage."
"What do you mean?" Abe asks, his curiosity getting the better of him.
"I should write a book on what Mages can and can't do before and after marriage," Guillermo continues mutters irritably as he sits down with a grunt. "Before you're married you two couldn't fool around with each other. Now that you two are married, neither one of you can fool around without each other. If she hadn't walked in on you, you'd still be up there developing arm muscles to rival Hellboy's."
"Now she thinks she's a horrible wife because I tried to find relief without her," Abe moans as the muscles in his one arm scream in agony.
"I'm sorry," she whispers and he can feel her tears wetting his skin.
"Excuse me, Guillermo," Abe says as he heads up the stairs. "My wife and I need to have a talk."
"Good luck," the librarian wishes as they disappear upstairs.
He gently lies her down on the bed and she curls into a fetal position, sobbing her heart out again. Shaking from exhaustion, frustration and the effects of her emotions, he lies down beside her in the bed and gathers her into his arms. She doesn't resist him, but she doesn't cuddle into him like she normally would.
"I'm sorry I'm such a horrible wife and mother and…," she starts.
"Stop it!" he snaps causing her to shrink back from him, but he just holds her closer. "You are not a horrible anything! You're sick. We'll get through this."
"But you were…you were…," she sobs.
"Being a selfish husband," he calmly explains. "I never stopped to think how my actions would affect you. I'm sorry."
"But I should…," she tries.
"Concentrate on getting better," he interrupts again.
"I can't," she whimpers, trembling even harder. "I can't stop thinking what I'm thinking. I can't stop feeling what I'm feeling. I'm thinking and feeling horrible things and I just can't stop."
"Then let me help," he whispers.
"How?" she wails, becoming more despondent.
"I'll show you," he says as he pulls them both up into a sitting position and then makes her look into his eyes. "I want to join with your mind. Fully."
"But don't we do that when we…when we used to…?" she tries to ask.
"No, when we climax together, we only get a brief glimpse into each other's minds," he tells her. "This time I want to share our thoughts and memories completely. We'll know everything about each other. Are you willing to let me try?"
"Can anything go wrong?" she questions, sniffing.
"There's a very small chance that I won't be able to pull out," he reluctantly tells her.
"No!" she cries, fresh tears washing down her cheeks. "I won't let you risk yourself. You're too important."
"So are you," he insists. "You are loved and needed and wanted. I can help, please let me try."
"It's too dangerous," she whimpers as she shakes her head 'no' and tries to push him away. "I can't let you do it."
"Alright, alright," he assures her as he lays them both back down. "I won't do it."
She doesn't answer but continues to cry as he gently strokes her hair. Sometime later, she's cried herself to sleep again and he carefully extracts himself from her arms and the bed. With a heavy heart and an exhausted body, he returns to the bathroom, removes his respirator and then crawls into the tub where oblivion eludes him as his mind searches for a way to help his wife.
The following morning, Abe is exhausted and he still has no idea on how to help Maggie. About mid morning, the twins go down for a nap and Abe sends Maggie off with her mother to take care of Magick. While she's gone, John comes in with Abe's supply of eggs.
"Morning, Abe," John cheerily greets as only someone who had a full night's sleep can do. "How are things?"
"Exhausting," Abe sighs. "I think I have a way to help Maggie, but she won't let me do it."
"What were you planning on doing?" John asks as he hands Abe his bowl of rotten eggs.
"I was going to join our minds and try to help her sort through her thoughts and feelings," Abe replies as he picks out an egg. "The problem is I might not be able to pull myself out. It's a very small chance that would happen, but it's still a chance."
"So, what happens if you can't pull out?" John inquires.
"Maggie and I will cease to be functioning beings and will spend the rest of our days in a vegetative state," Abe answers.
"Ok, that would be bad," John states.
"Very bad," Abe agrees.
A couple hours later, Maggie returns smelling so heavily of horse that even Abe can smell it. He smiles at her as he gives her a hug and she leans heavily on him. The guilt of not taking proper care of her horse weighs heavily on her mind so he just holds her close until she's ready.
"Feel better?" he asks.
"A little, I guess," she replies with a shrug, not quite looking at him.
"Go get cleaned up," he gently tells her. "Lunch will be ready soon."
She reluctantly nods and then disappears through the bedroom door. Abe turns to go back to making lunch and a short time later there's a knock on the door. He lets out a small groan when he realizes who it is and then goes to answer the door.
"Hello, Hellboy," Abe greets in a perfectly controlled voice. "Hello, Liz."
"Uh-oh, Blue's pissed," Hellboy states as he muscles his way past the merman and looks around the apartment. "Manning did a pretty good job with this place. It's cozy."
"Abe, I'm sorry," Liz whispers and he can see the red, puffy eyes with the bags underneath them. "I totally forgot. I'm so sorry."
"I can't say it's alright," Abe tells her and he can see her eyes get bright with tears. "Maggie is still very sick and she will be for some time. But I understand why you didn't help her and I do forgive you."
"Thank you," she sobs just before she gives him a rib cracking hug.
He's startled at first, but returns the embrace after he recovers, gently patting her on the back. She regains her composure after about a minute and lets Abe go before seeking the arms of her husband. Hellboy casually drapes his left arm over her shoulders as she leans on him for support.
"So, how is she?" Hellboy asks.
"She's not great, but she's doing better," Abe answers as he shuts the door. "She's no longer trying to kill herself and her milk supply is coming back. She still has this overwhelming guilt because she's not perfect and can't do everything. Like I said, she still has a long way to go."
"What can we do to help?" Liz questions.
"Be there for her," Abe replies as he heads for the kitchen. "She needs support right now and having someone to talk to would be good."
"Doesn't she talk to you?" Hellboy inquires.
"Yes, but I think having another mother to talk too would be better," Abe explains as he starts to toss the salad he's made. "If Liz and Maggie could go out for a couple hours, just the two of them, I think it would help."
"What would we do?" Liz asks.
"Go for coffee, go shopping, go for a walk, whatever," Abe responds while serving the salad onto plates. "Just get her away from here so she can clear her mind and relax. I'm sure Hellboy won't mind watching Trevor for a while. Do you think you could do that?"
"Yeah, I can do that," Liz replies with a small smile.
"We're about to have lunch," Abe states as he brings out a couple plates loaded with food. "Would you care to join us?"
"Looks like you're having rabbit food again," Hellboy grumbles as he eyes the plates. "I think we'll pass."
"Your choice," Abe replies with a shrug as he puts the food on the table and Maggie comes out of the bedroom.
"Hi," Maggie quietly greets the newcomers.
"Hi, Maggie," Liz replies just as quietly. "How are you?"
"Surviving," Maggie answers with a one shouldered shrug.
"I hear you," Liz chuckles. "Sometimes it's all I can do to keep up with Trevor. If he's not trying to chase the cats then he's in their food bowls. If he's not trying to eat their food he wants to play in the litter boxes. Let me tell you, that last one is just nasty."
Maggie smiles as she slides into the chair Abe is holding out for her.
"Listen, I need to get some new clothes and I hate shopping alone," Liz says. "Want to come with me?"
"I don't know," Maggie hesitantly answers. "What about the kids?"
"What are we?" Hellboy grumbles, pointing at himself and Abe. "Chopped liver? Give us dads some credit. We can take care of the kids for a couple hours."
"The kids will be fine," Abe assures her as he takes his own seat.
"I don't know," Maggie hesitates.
"You don't have to go if you don't want to," Abe tells her while picking up his fork. "I'm sure your grandmother wouldn't mind shopping for you. She was hinting about going yesterday."
"What time do you want to leave?" Maggie asks Liz as she feels her heart start to pound against her ribs.
"Trevor usually goes down for a nap around two, so how about then?" Liz replies.
"Ok, two sounds good," Maggie agrees.
"Great, see you then," Liz smiles as she heads for the door with Hellboy in tow. "Have a good lunch."
"Thank you," Abe replies as he takes the first bite.
Maggie gets up and sees the couple out before returning to her seat. She picks up her fork and starts pushing her food around her plate with it. Abe's about half way done with his meal before he notices.
"What's wrong?" he asks after swallowing.
"If I leave, what's the point of me coming back?" she replies, knowing that beating around the bush doesn't work with him. "If they're going to be fine without me for a couple hours, what's to say they won't be fine without me for a couple days? Or a couple years? Or decades? What if they don't need me at all?"
"The twins will always need you," he assures her.
"Yeah, for my milk," she grumbles as she puts down her fork.
"They need you for more than that," he responds as he carefully puts his fork down. "They need your love and guidance and wisdom. They need you."
"Then why does it feel like that they'd be better off without me?" she demands.
"That's the depression talking," he replies. "And even if they didn't need you, I need you."
"Yeah, for sex," she mutters mostly to herself.
"I was under the impression that there was more to this relationship than sex," he states, trying not to lose his temper with her. "Maggie, please eat your lunch. You'll feel better with some food in you."
"I don't think I'll ever feel better again," she sniffs as she can feel the burn of new tears forming.
Without another word, Abe gets up and goes around the table. He strips his top off, pulls a chair up next to Maggie's and then he wraps his arms around her. Despite his anger, frustration and exhaustion, he knows he must be strong for her as she sheds her tears onto his nearly dry skin.
After she cries herself out, he gets her to eat her lunch. Just as she's finishing the twins wake up and she submissively feeds them as best she can. Once she's done, he sends her off to bed to get some rest, swearing to wake her when Liz returns.
Author's notes: Yes, I know, this story still isn't done. I swear we're getting closer though.