Vader liked computers. Computers were fun, and, when put to the right uses, extremely helpful. However, every day, he found more and more nonsense e-mails in his mailbox.
" Shop at random store on us!"
"Want to be mentored by enter name of some ridiculously rich person ?"
"Have a free enter random technological device !"
Vader idly deleted all of the offending material, but got hung up on one.
PENIS ENLARGEMENT.
Vader twitched, and his finger hovered above the delete button, unable to press down because of the rage that was slowly building within him.
"Who...the fuck...writes...these...these...things!"
Vader quickly e-mailed his peons and set them to the task of finding whatever company was stupid enough to send such junk to one of the most Evil people in the galaxy. They would pay, once discovered.
Vader couldn't decide if he'd merely incapacitate whoever was the mastermind behind such an insidious plot, or if he would kill all of them and send out a mass e-mail as a warning to all other spam companies to not fuck with a Dark Lord of the Sith. Penis enlargement, indeed.
When one of his lackeys returned with an address and names, Vader immediatly set off, taking a cab ,and not paying, to the center of the dasterdly deed. He decided he was in a bad mood when silenced the sugar-coated greeting of the front desk attendant with a mere flicker of the Force. He took the elevator up to the executive suite, all the while planning just what kind of torture he'd put the bastards through.
When he exited the room a few hours later, he was quite proud of his inventiveness. He hadn't thought to use that particular torture before. It appeared being surrounded with high-tech devices that apparently guaranteed a larger dick brought out the more merciless side of him. That was okay, though. He was glad that his skills hadn't gotten rusty.
He had taken pictures of the carnage he had wrought, then posted them to frequented sites, and included a nice, short description of the offense. He hoped people would get the message. If not...well, overpopulation was an issue, and he'd be glad to be a partial solution.
When he returned, Leia was waiting for him, a smirk on her face.
"Well."
"You saw?"
"Yes, I did. You know, you surprise me every day."
Vader's stance changed to communicate amusement. "Shouldn't I be the one saying that?"
Leia laughed and gave her father a one-armed hug as she tried to balance her lightsabre in the other hand.
"What have I said about not swinging around the lightsabre in the house?"
"Aww...I know, I know."
Leia sullenly turned it off, and sighed. She gave her father a lopsided smile and murmured,
"I don't think we'll be getting a lot of spam anymore."
"We better not."