A/N: As alway, huge thanks to my reviewers. You guys are the best. As for 'happily ever after', well, let's say JnR have to sort through a big mess before that can happen. Still, there's always flashbacks for a bit of JnR lovin'. ;)

TOW the day after

(Day 52 – seventh week of pregnancy – evening)

When Joey opened his eyes, feeling refreshed and calm, he looked into Chandler's smiling face.

"Hey, welcome back, buddy. You had us really worried for a moment."

Joey wondered what Chandler was talking about. He had no idea how he got into this bed and what had happened. Then he tried to piece it together. Rachel is pregnant. Wow, he was going to be a dad. The thought made him smile. But … then, she went away, she was unhappy. He was worried and then he looked for her at Monica's and then… He sucked in a deep, painful breath when all the events came rushing back to him, hitting him with a relentless brutality. He squeezed his eyes shut and curled together tightly.

"Joey … Joseph … please, look at me. Goddammit, look at me!"

Chandler's commands actually made him open his eyes again, looking into the blue eyes of his friend that showed so much concern for him.

"Joey, I can't imagine how much you must hurt right now, but you have to calm down. You can't keep having these breakdowns, okay? We gave you a sedative, you should … you should be able to … calm down somehow, please. Try to get a grip, for the sake of your sanity."

"How could she do that, Chandler? Why?"

"I have no idea, Joe. I don't understand that either."

"We… we were so happy. And… we're going to have a baby… why…"

A sob tore itself free from his chest. Followed by another one. He pressed his fist against his mouth, trying to stop the pitiful display of emotional vulnerability. Chandler sat down on the side of the bed and put an arm around him.

"Maybe letting it out helps, Joey. I'm not gonna tell anyone."

If someone had told him, that one day he would find himself in Chandler's arms, crying like a baby, clinging to his friend like a lifeline, he would've laughed right into their face. But here he was, doing exactly that, unable to stop the tears. When the sobs died down a bit, Chandler drew back and wordlessly handed him a box of tissues.

"Feeling better?"

"Not really. I think I've never felt worse. Look what she turned me into. I can't believe she did this to me… to us… to the baby. Maybe I did something…"

"Hey Joe, stop with the guilt trip right there. It's not your fault. Whatever you did or said, she had no right to do this. No right. And if anyone should know that perfectly well, it's her. It is NOT your fault."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. God… this is all so much… I can't deal with it… I'm so tired…"

"That's probably the pill Monica gave you. She said it would make you sleepy."

"It feels like I have cotton wool in my head. And I know that's what you think is in there anyway."

Chandler chuckled. "I wouldn't have said it. Besides, I think you're a lot smarter than you want me to believe."

Joey had already drifted off to sleep. Chandler tucked the comforter around his friend and left the room.

Monica was in the living room, pacing nervously while trying to reach her brother on the phone. When she saw him coming out of Joey's room, she stopped and put the phone to the side.

"How is he?"

Chandler shook his head sadly. "I've never seen him so miserable. I'm kinda glad Rachel didn't try to come here, I would've forgotten myself."

When he turned around, rubbing his forehead, Monica said quietly, "She did."

"What?" Chandler asked, sharply turning back.

"Before, when Joey started to cry, she came here, wanting to talk to him."

"What is she, crazy?" Chandler asked exasperated. "Does she even realize what she did to him?"

"Not at first," Monica answered with a helpless shrug. "She was totally out of it. When I told her how badly Joey had taken this, it was like she just realized what exactly she had done, that she might lose him. She was pretty close to breaking down herself."

"Monica, I think women should never get pregnant if it makes them go insane like this. And Ross… Mon, I know he's your brother, but what was he thinking? He knew she was pregnant with Joey's baby, what the hell possessed him to sleep with her?"

"I have no idea, Chandler. I wish I did."

………

When Joey shuffled out of his room the next morning, Monica was preparing breakfast for him. Chandler was already at work and she felt a bit unsure about how to talk to him.

"Morning, Mon. Or let's say, I hope it's morning."

"It is. Why don't you take a shower and have breakfast afterwards," she said with an encouraging smile.

"I can't. All of my stuff is… over there."

He gestured vaguely in the direction of the door and looked down at his feet sadly. Suddenly Monica was very glad to have thought of that before.

"I brought some of your things here. Toiletry and a few fresh clothes. The bag is right next to the bathroom door."

That wasn't quite the truth; it wasn't her who had put all the things in the bag. She had wanted Chandler to do that, but having him alone in the same room with Rachel didn't seem like such a good idea, so shehad goneover herself and had asked Rachel to pack some of Joey's stuff. Rachel had cried the whole time. Before Monica had left the apartment, Rachel had gone back to Joey's room to get something else.

"Joey can't sleep without him," she'd said after coming back with Hugsy, hugging the soft toy to herself before giving it to Monica.

By then Monica had beenclose to tears herself. If she had doubted what Rachel felt for Joey before, now she didn't anymore.

While she was thinking about that, Joey came back, Hugsy in his hand. "You didn't bring him."

Monica looked down guiltily. "She did. She said you can't sleep without him."

Joey looked at Hugsy and it seemed to Monica as if he was getting angry. He discarded the penguin on the couch and made his way to the bathroom. "I wish she'd known that I can't sleep without her."

Monica took a deep breath and cursed the situation she was in the middle of. She cared for all of them, for Joey, for Rachel and of course for Ross. To know they were all locked in this dreadful situation was depressing. She had no idea how this situation could ever be resolved with their unique friendship still intact. Who was she kidding? The friendship was already damaged beyond repair.

Joey came out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, still on rather wobbly legs.

"Whoa … Monica. That stuff you gave me yesterday has me still feeling drunk somehow. I can barely remember my name, let alone the lines I'm supposed to say today at DOOL."

"I doubt it's the pill, Joey. You're through some pretty bad stuff and on top of that, you probably haven't eaten a thing in twenty four hours."

He was lost in thought for a while. "Yeah, you're right. The last time I ate something was the night… you know… when…"

It was painful to see him struggling with words like that. He obviously couldn't even bring himself to say Rachel's name, or to talk about what happened. He surely shouldn't do that before eating something.

"When we told you guys about our honeymoon," she helped him out. "Then it's thirty six. Sit down and eat. It's a miracle you're still standing."

After wolfing down some of the food she had prepared for him, the color came back to his cheeks and he smiled thankfully at her.

"Thanks, Mon, you guys are the best."

He pushed his plate away from him and leaned his head in his hands. "My head is still pounding."

"Like I said, you've been through a lot. We were seconds away from calling 911 after you all but stopped breathing. You were cold as a corpse and shaking so hard, we didn't know what to do. You only started to breathe normally again when you lost consciousness."

Joey chuckled mirthlessly at that. "I guess I would've been the first guy brought into an ER with a broken heart. God… that's so embarrassing."

"Why's that embarrassing? Remember when I broke up with Richard? I was walking around like a ghost for weeks. You took the blow at once. You'll see… you'll be back on your feet in no time."

"Mon, I didn't just lose a girl. I lost… my future."

Again Monica had to fight back tears at seeing him this way. She took his hands in hers and desperately tried to find something encouraging to say. "Maybe it's not lost. Maybe things can somehow… work again."

"How can they, Mon? She is… with him now."

Monica shook her head.

"No Joey, she isn't. She is sitting over there in your apartment crying her eyes out over losing you. She wants to talk to you."

That made Joey look at her in surprise. "Really? Why didn't she come here?"

"I didn't want her to, I wanted you to get some rest after what happened. Besides, Chandler would've probably ripped her to pieces. I told her to wait until you're ready to talk."

Joey jumped up from his chair and started pacing. "What did she say, Mon?"

"She said a lot of things. Mostly stuff I think she should tell you in person. But she is sorry and when I told her you might want her to move out, she was devastated."

It almost startled Monica how decisive and fast Joey's reaction to that came.

"I don't want her to move out."

Monica looked down at her plate sadly for a while and then she looked up again, her voice was pleading and soft.

"Joe, please don't think I want to tell you or Rachel what to do. But I talked with Chandler about it. We don't think it's gonna be a good idea for you two to keep living together. At least not for the time being. You can stay here as long as you want, or as long as Rachel needs to find a new place."

Joey's shoulders slumped and he looked even more tortured than before.

"Do you really think I should throw the mother of my child out of my apartment?"

"Joey, I can't tell you what to do," Monica said with a sigh. "You have to decide that for yourself. Maybe when you talk to her, you'll know how you feel about having her around all the time."

The pacing started again and finally he stopped, standing in front of the big window, staring over at Ross's apartment just like he had yesterday. Monica got up from her seat and walked over to him, gently placing her hand on his back, comfortingly stroking him.

"God, this is so messed up," Joey whispered after a long while, his gaze never leaving the spot he was staring at. "Two days ago I was thinking my biggest problem was how to tell Ross about us being together."

"You wanted to tell him first?"

"Yes, we did. We knew he might take it badly."

"He did," Monica said with a nod, taking a step back from him. "When you two left the room after… you know… that night, he was furious. He kept talking about her being the love of his life and that he can't just let her go."

At that Joey suddenly spun around to her, his eyes ablaze.

"But he did, Monica," he said with a certain urgency. As if he had to convince himself of what he was saying. "He let her go. It's been five years since they broke up." He paused and shook his head sadly. "I mean, yeah, I felt hellishly guilty about being together with her, about doing this to him, about jeopardizing our friendship. You know how important stuff like that is for me. If I had known how much Ross was still hung up on her before we got together, I might not even have done anything. But the minute I learned about… the pregnancy, that became the most important thing for me. And I'm convinced it should've changed things for him as well. Can you understand that?"

"Of course I can, Joe. We told Ross more or less the same thing that night. I still have no idea why he didn't listen to us."

Joey looked at her for a second and then he turned to the window again.

"God…" he started to talk again, his tear saturated whisper almost bringing tears to Monica's eyes. "I mean... she is pregnant. There is my child inside of her and he… he did… how could he even do that?" He looked at her as if he expected her to have an answer to that. When she had none, he continued, "How could she let him?"

Monica let out a troubled sigh and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"I guess you have to ask her that question, Joey."

tbc

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