It had to be done. I did not trust myself to be around her ever again. I could see the images of me murdering her and every other human in that classroom in Alice's visions. I would jeopardize the safety of my entire family and cause the most heinous mass murder in Forks' history. I had to leave.

I got to my car before the school bell rang and peeled out of the lot, her scent still burning my throat. I gripped the steering wheel tightly and drove well over 100mph. My siblings would have to find their own way home.

Home. I couldn't leave without saying a word to any of them except Esme and Carlisle. It pained me to know how devastated Esme would be if I just disappeared for several years – or however long the girl lived in this town…

I took a deep breath, finally feeling the white-hot flame in my throat subside. I had to say good-bye.

I was home in less than a few minutes. I could hear the alertness in Esme's thoughts. I ran up to the living room where she was in seconds. She stood up from the armchair she was sitting on, dropping the book she was reading to her side.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

I'm having a murderous episode and I don't think I can control myself if I stay in this town a second longer. "Esme…"

Not again. He's leaving. I could practically feel her stone heart break into a million pieces.

"I haven't hurt anyone… But I'm afraid I will." I couldn't look her in the eye. I stared down at my feet, gripping my car keys tightly.

"What happened?" she pleaded, moving over to me and taking my free hand into hers. I looked up slowly. Worry and pain flooded her eyes. I shook my head.

"A human. So alluring, I'm surprised no one from our kind has already gotten to her. Esme… I can't stay here. I nearly…" I shut my eyes, remembering Alice's visions. "I'm sorry, but I have to go and clear my head. I can't risk the safety of our family, nor the girl's."

I suppose I shouldn't even ask how long you'll be gone, she thought somberly. I shook my head.

"I don't know. I'm so sorry. I'll call when I can. Please tell the other's I'm sorry. Tell Carlisle…"

She nodded. She kissed my hands with her cool lips and closed her eyes. "Take care of yourself." Her thoughts were no longer verbal. I could only feel her sadness. I kissed the top of her head and sped to my car.

Within minutes, I was on the 101 speeding to nowhere in mind. The monster in me was in a frenzy, demanding I drive back and drain the girl. I could get away with it if I waited while she was alone at home…

"STOP!" I bellowed, gripping the steering wheel even harder and increasing the speed of the car. I drove in velocious speed past the other drivers on the mountainous highway. They honked at me in anger.

It took every ounce of strength I had to not turn back and hunt down the girl. Why? Why did she have to just show up and turn my entire world upside down? Make the decades of self-control I learned just go up into smoke? I already hated my existence enough before she arrived. I didn't know what the monster in me would make me do tonight, but whatever it would be, I knew it would amplify my self-loathing.

I looked up at the rearview mirror into my own eyes. It was as though the monster himself was looking back at me, a tantalizing glimmer in his ochre eyes. I looked back at the road and within a fraction of a second, I swerved into the next lane and nearly hit an oncoming car. The driver blared their horn at me.

There was only one other time in my new life that I felt this out of control. As a newborn, all I could ever think about was blood and draining every human that neared me, but my longing to make Carlisle proud of his progeny kept me in check. Now, I almost didn't care if I disappointed anyone. The girl's blood was unlike anything I had ever smelled, as though she was born to be feasted upon by my kind. The thought of this flooded my mouth with venom. Perhaps a hunt could satiate the insanity this frenzy was causing me?

No. You need human blood, the monster thought. I shook my head and took deeper breaths, but the memory of her blood kept coming back to me. Lavender… honey… how thin and fragile her skin must be…

I shouted in agony and pulled over to the shoulder of the road. One of the worst feelings from being a vampire was the inability to cry. I just wanted to cry the frustration out. How I missed how that relief felt as a human, but instead I felt an irreparable tightness in my throat and chest. There was no way to release this distress. Except for one…

I closed my eyes in defeat and rested my head upon the steering wheel. I allowed the images of drinking the girl's blood to overcome my mind, breathing heavily as I imagined what she tasted like. A rousing sensation ran through my body, as though every nerve vibrated with pleasure. I looked up into the rearview mirror again. This time, the monster's eyes were black with triumph. Tonight, he would get what he wanted, but not her.

What little humanity I had left refused to harm her. Another would take her place. One who deserved it, I justified to myself.

I continued onto the 101, heading toward Seattle where I would surely find a rightful victim.