Title: The Way We Were

Author: Shanyetta

Rating: Teen: for strong language and some sensuality (possibly worse as chapters go on, never will reach Mature though).

Category: Romance/Angst; 6X9 pairing

Summary: Over the last couple of years since the end of wars Noin has waited patiently for a positive change in her partner Zechs, but it is going to be harder than she thought it would be and her heart begins to break all over again…

Disclaimer: Don't own them, wish I did, I'd be rich…hehe.

Note: Any sentence in Italics is a thought, any thing being led by ((and followed by )) is a flashback.

Chapter 1: Changes In The Wrong Direction

Noin collapsed into her bunk after a very long day of work. She and Zechs had been heading up the Protectors unit on Mars for Relena Darlian's Terra-Forming project. She sighed and started pulling off her sweat drenched clothes, tingling as the cool re-circulated air hit her damp skin. She felt the sensation and images crept into her mind; images that she had tried to keep out purely for survival. He haunted her dreams and made her body come alive without even having to touch her. She had hoped that their unspoken bond would have developed into something more by now. Her dreams had become more and more passionate and her desires harder and harder to control.

She had thought that after the past two years that he would have been a bit different. It was true that he had softened a little from what he had been during the Great War between the colonies and the Earth, but he still had the look of emptiness he had had then and it scared her. He had been dead to the world for a year and two days and it had not seemed to even affect him.

Noin started the shower testing the water and stepped into the steam filled cubicle breathing in the moisture. She trailed her hands over herself massaging the soap into her tense muscles, "Oh Zechs…why…" She dropped her head under the shower's stream, "Why can't you be the boy I fell in love with?" The steam filled up the room and helped drown her in her sorrow.

Zechs moved silently down the hallway toward his quarters. He glanced toward some steam rising up from beneath her door. She's at it again, he thought and he continued down the hall, "Why can't you let it go?" He shook his head, "Why can't you let him go?" He knew her well enough to know that she was struggling with the past, their past. It had been the best time of his life and yet it had been one of the most painful…

((His father's death was fresh in his mind as he stepped off the train toward his new life, his new identity, as Zechs Merquise. Milliardo tried hard to erase the look of grotesque horror that had been on his father's lifeless face. He hadn't had time to cry, he had had to think of the safety of his baby sister and the fire burned around them. Foreign Minister Darlian and been kind enough to take Relena in and raise her as his own. Somehow he knew that she would have a better life not knowing her true identity. His heart hurt thinking about how much he would miss her. She was meant for better than he could ever give her, she was meant for greatness.

He sighed and moved slowly toward the Lake Victoria Academy. The mask he wore hid the anguish in his eyes as he took care of all the paperwork. A tall distinguished looking man walked over to him and Zechs snapped to attention. This was to be his superior, his trainer, and hopefully his mentor. Colonel Macarthur smiled at him, "At ease." Zechs clasped his hands behind his back and relaxed a little, "It is a pleasure and a honor to have such a distinguished student at my academy, young Peacecraft." Zechs head dropped a little. Macarthur noticed his reaction, "Do not be alarmed no one else knows but I. I knew your father well. He was an old friend. I will know you here as Zechs Merquise, but when you were a boy I knew you as Milliardo Peacecraft and I hope to help you through your grief and help you determine your future. Zechs smiled, this man truly was going to be a mentor.

The evening drills had been over a few hours previous and Zechs sat in the library studying for an upcoming test. The past two months he had not made any friends or comrades, trying to keep his identity a secret. The only person close to him had been the Colonel and he had been so busy with the new recruits that had been trickling in since the first day that Zechs was felling a bit lonely. No one had questioned his mask; he was relieved for that, but there had been one new arrival that always looked at him too closely when he was near and he had become even more secluded due to that. He set down his book and reached some fingers up under his mask to rub his eyes. How long have I been here? He looked at the clock on the wall 2200 hours. He sighed and started to gather his books and papers together.

"Well, hello there." The voice startled him and he dropped his books as he looked up. It was the recruit he had been hiding from. She stood there in the moonlight, the softness of the light gleaming off her lean frame. She was tall, lean and athletic. Her hair was a dark coal black and her violet eyes smiled at him from her beautiful plain face. She looked exotic and she walked toward him. He had to gulp back his natural male feelings that any sixteen year old would have at a moment like this. She's a fellow student, nothing more nothing less. She flopped into a chair across from him, very ungraceful, and leaned forward squinting her eyes at him, "So…been wondering…what's up with the mask?"

Zechs sighed; he knew that this was coming. He looked at her, the expression on her face was priceless; the corners of her mouth were curled up more on one side than the other, it was cute. Zechs couldn't help but smile slightly as she crooked her head sideways peering as much under his mask as possible, not seeing much. She sighed and rested her chin in her hand, "Oh…come on…you're so quiet…you got scars or something? Do you look like the elephant man under there?"

He held back a quiet laugh, "Elephant man?"

She grinned, "You don't know who the Elephant Man was?" She moved her chair more toward invading his space a little, "Well…he was this grotesque looking man that had some sort of disease that made him that way, real yucky!" Her hand moved swiftly toward his mask and grabbed the side. His reactions were too fast and he latched onto her wrist holding her there firmly. "Party pooper." She moved her hand away his grip still tight on her wrist. "Well do you?"

He released her wrist and got up collecting his things. She looked at him disappointed. As he made his way to the door he heard her call to him, "By the way…I'm Lucrezia Noin…you can call me Noin." She waited silently.

He stopped at the door smiled to himself and turned toward her, "Zechs, Zechs Merquise…" he turned away from her again, "but you can call me Elephant Man." He heard her laughter trail down the hall as he walked out of the library and toward his bunk.))

Zechs blinked emerging from his memories. He sat at his desk writing plans for the upcoming weeks. It was going to be tough keeping the people who didn't want the project to succeed at bay in as much of a peaceful as possible. It was going to be even harder keeping pirates and looters away. He had good help with Noin around. She was always a good partner and an even better friend. She wasn't the only one on Mars that was helpful. There were many talented and determined people working with he and Noin for Relena's dream. First of all there was the leader of the project, a very respectable and smart man named Brennan Kent. He was the heart and soul of the project and was becoming a trusted friend to both he and Noin. The brain of the project was a young man named Khal O'Neal and vibrant genius with a caring heart and a very friendly spirit. He reminded Zechs of Quatre Raberba Winner, except this genius tended to be a bit to forward with women. The brawn of the group was a man named Roger Baron, a burly family man with two kids with their mother back on earth; he missed them a lot. The new member to the group was a young engineer named Ramona Tarne, very pretty, very seductive and very smart with engines almost as good as one of the Gundam boys. She worked with an all woman team. One of her team members was wise woman by the name of Roberta "Berta" Ashton. Without her Ramona might have been pregnant by now. She always made Zechs feel at ease, almost like an older sister. He knew with all of them around that they would succeed eventually in building the station for Relena.

Zechs leaned back in his chair. A sigh escaped his lips as he thought about Noin. I would never want to leave her or be left by her, but it had become harder and harder to be around her. She had a beautiful glow to her that had always been there ever since he'd met her at the Lake Victoria Academy. That glow used to make him feel warmth and the sense of family, but now it made him cold all over and guilty about his past misdeeds and mistakes. She was hoping, wishing for the boy she had met in their past. Unfortunately, Zechs knew that he could never be that boy again and knew that if their relationship is to remain the way that it should that she needed to understand that changes in him were not going to go the way that she hoped. He closed his eyes reluctantly; his dreams never were relaxing. Zechs always hoped that something would wake him up before he reached the REM cycle every night so that she wouldn't be haunting his dreams.