Chapter 14

"Hey there, Sookie!" I said, walking into the NICU one afternoon. It was a surprise to see Sookie there at that time of day. She should've been at the inn, tending to the lunch crowd.

"Hey, Lorelai. Things were slow at the inn, so I decided to stop by," she replied, a little bit on the somber side.

"Well, thanks!" I smiled brightly at her. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Uh, is that okay?" she asked timidly.

"Yeah, of course! It's fine," I said, picking up little Rosie and handing her to Sookie as she sat in a chair next to the incubator.

"She's so tiny," Sookie said, staring at her through all the many cords that ran in and out of her in different places.

"Yeah, it seems to be that way."

"How much does she weigh now?"

"Almost 3 pounds. For how long it's been, she should weigh more, but we're accepting whatever we can get."

"How long has it been?"

"About a month. Goodness, I can't believe it's already been that long," I said, smiling at Rose. I took one of her little hands in mine and stroked it gently. I felt a tear forming in the corner of my eye and quickly wiped it away. I couldn't let anyone see how much I was hurting on the inside, so I changed the subject as quickly as possible. "How are things at the inn?"

"They're pretty good. Mia was there earlier today."

"She was?" I asked happily. I always love it when Mia comes to visit.

"Yeah, she asked about you. She'll probably be here later today to visit." Feeling that the subject of the conversation was too quickly turning back to uncomfortable territory, I changed the subject again.

"So, you know, Rory got a 99 on her English test."

"Wow, that's amazing! What did she get wrong?" Sookie asked, feigning disappointment.

"Nothing. They just can't put 100s into the computer."

"Of course." Sookie giggled in her own patented way.

We sat together in silence, just staring at Rose. I began to get emotional, so I hurriedly excused myself to the bathroom, leaving Sookie with the baby all by herself. On my way down the hall, I passed Luke coming back from the vafeteria as he walked into the NICU. Curious about what they would talk about if I wasn't there, I stood at the door, and listened closely to their conversation. I could only hear little snippets of their conversation, but it was enough.

"Luke, I'm worried about Lorelai," Sookie said, with concern dripping from her voice.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"She's acting so strange. I mean, she's acting like typical Lorelai, always full of energy and happiness, but this isn't the time for that. She should be sad, and worried, but she's not. I'm afraid she's trying to hide it, and that's not good."

"I know. She's acted that way around me too. I can't get her to talk to me. I've brought it up before, but she always changes the subject."

"Make her talk about it, Luke. I'm really, really worried about her."

"Ok. I will. Thanks, Sookie."

"No problem, Luke. So, how's the baby doing? I never found out since she oh so skillfully skidded away from that topic."

"She's doing okay. Not too great, but okay. She's had a few scares, like lung infections, and her weight keeps going up and down, but the doctors think she'll be fine eventually."

"That's good. I mean, they are great doctors. They know what they're talking about."

It was quiet for awhile.

"Well, I gotta go. Tell Lorelai I said goodbye," Sookie said, handing Rosie to Luke.

"Okay, I will. Thanks for stopping by. It really means a lot."

"No problem." Sookie stood up and started walking towards the door. Before reaching it, she turned around and said, "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"She's really lucky to have you. You know that, right?"

"Thanks, Sookie." I could hear the bashfulness in his voice.

Suddenly, it became very clear to me that Sookie had walked out into the hall, and saw me standing there, listening to their every word. I looked her in the eyes, ashamed, leaned back on the wall behind me, and looked down to the ground. I know she could see how much I was hurting, no matter how much I tried to hide it. It's what best friends do.

She only looked at me, gave me a reassuring smile, squeezed my arm lightly, and walked down the hall. After taking a moment to compose myself, I walked back in to where Luke and Rose were. I sat down next to Luke, who was holding Rose. He placed her back in her incubator, and looked in my direction.

"We need to talk," he said, with purpose in his voice.

I looked into my lap. "I know."

"What's going on with you?" Apparently we were jumping right into this. No beating around the bush for Luke Danes, no sir.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" I asked brightly, putting on that fake façade I had mastered with Sookie. Erm, thought I mastered…

"Lorelai, stop. I'm serious. You're not acting like yourself."

I still wasn't completely ready to admit that he was right. "That's funny. I thought I was just like myself," I said, faking confusion.

"Yeah, when things are fine, but things aren't fine.You should be a little less happy."

"You're telling me you want me to be sad?" I asked. I was blowing this way out of proportion. All he wanted to do was help, and I knew that. I just wasn't ready to admit that something really was wrong.

"No, I'm just saying, it's okay to cry. You don't have to be so strong. I'd understand if you weren't so happy all the time." His words made me want to lose it.

Before the tears began to spill over, I said "I… I don't know what you're talking about." I stood up abruptly and ran out of the room. I sprinted down the hall, out into the parking lot, and opened the door to Luke's jeep. I hopped in, and slammed the door. I brought my feet up onto the seat, buried my head in my hands, and began to sob. I knew it wouldn't be long until Luke came out.

I locked the doors, remembering that Luke had given me his keys to hold for him. I just wanted to be alone. When he came out to the truck about ten minutes later, tried to open the door, and knocked on the window to get me to let him in, I could see the hurt in his eyes when I looked at him and shook my head. I watched as he slowly made his way back into the hospital to give me my space.

Hours later, I heard a rapping on the window once again.

"Lorelai? You've been in there for over two hours. Are you okay?" At the sound of Luke's voice, the tears that had subsided an hour ago began flowing freely again.

I reached out, flipped the lock on the door, and said "No."

Hearing this, he hurriedly hopped in beside me and shut the door behind him. "You're not?"

"No." I was crying so hard, my head started to pound.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Hold me." And he did. He wrapped his arms around me instantly. He held me closely, never letting go. From then on, I didn't have to explain anything to him. He just understood. He understood that it was enormously hard for me to watch my little girl lie helpless in the hospital. He knew it was difficult for me to just let all those things happen to her without being able to do a thing to stop them. He got that after having complete control of how Rory was raised, it was murder to leave my daughter in the hands of people I didn't even know. He knew all this about me, and I didn't even have to tell him. What more could I ask for?

Tbc.

Short chapter, I know, but I felt bad because I haven't been updating as quickly as I used to. It's all because of stupid school, believe me, and I had a football game after school today too. This story will be coming to an end pretty soon, so thanks to those of you who are still reading! I think there'll be at least 1 more chapter, but I'm not positive. There could be another after that, but I'm really not sure.

I'd like to thank all of my reviewers! You guys are splendid.

Reviews! I love 'em. Keep 'em comin'!

Random Question: Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

cringe! That was a tad on the dirty side. Don't even say it, Doogs! I know it was too easy. Anyway, review!

-Stella