A/N: I don't own Instant Star. I don't own Tears And Rain, Goodbye My Lover, and Cry by James Blunt. Reviews are always welcome.

Episode 29 - The Perfect Lie

Part 1

When she woke up she saw Kwest standing in front of the sink dumping bottle after bottle of alcohol. He had also amassed every single bottle of pills he had in his apartment sitting on the table. "Oh, you're up. I'm just doing some spring cleaning" he said cheerily. "You do know it's still winter right" I said with a yawn as I worked the kinks out in my neck. "It's never too early to start you know" he said. He sighed as he emptied the last bottle. "I'm worried about you is all. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you okay" Kwest said as he gave me a hug. How could I possibly tell him or anyone that I felt empty, felt nothing, as if the tears I had cried for Aiden were the last? "I'll be fine Kwest, really. I promise" I said as I returned his hug. And just like that the lies began.

Part 2

Jude added another tally to the wall; another day, another mask to cover the nothingness that had seeped into her skin. No one seemed to notice; she wouldn't let them. Only her and Tommy knew what had happened and no one wanted to open that Pandora's box. To the casual viewer both were fine; to those who knew them both seemed to have a shadow behind their eyes, tiny glimpses of something too painful to share even to them. Both dealt with their grief differently. Tommy buried himself in work while Jude on the other hand had delved into something different. She was had walked into her private bathroom in her office at the studio. She made sure to turn the lock before she put the cover of the toilet down and sat atop. She slid her hand under the sink and groped around until she found what she had been searching for. She carefully folded back her right sleeve and admired the white scars and pink scars she had given herself just to get through the morning. She picked an unblemished spot and gasped allowed as the blood began to form tiny rivers on her arm. She quickly thrust her arm over the sink careful not to get any blood on herself. This had been her only refuge from the nothingness. Pain filled her head; it was better than not feeling anything at all wasn't it she though to herself. She sat slumped against the wall watching the blood slowly trickle to the floor. Some time had passed before she cleaned up and emerged out of her office as if nothing had transpired. No one had bothered her. The headache she claimed she had had was enough to keep away the questions and whispers or were those all in her head and did it even matter. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

Part 3

She took a seat next to Kwest in the booth. He took his head set off to look at her. "You're looking a little pale, Jude." Kwest said. "Kwest I'm always pale" I said teasingly. "Well you're looking more pale than usual. Why don't you cut out of here early, huh? I'll see you at home." Kwest said as he put the earphones back over his head.

Part 4

Jude noisily dropped herself onto the couch and turned on the TV. After about an hour of perusing she turned off the TV with disgust. "How can there be over 500 channels with nothing on?" I said to myself in frustration. I rubbed the spot between my eyes hoping to stop the throbbing. "Pain withdrawal?" I said aloud. I got up and went into my room. I walked over to the bed and put my hand behind the headboard. It only took a few seconds to come away with what I was looking for. I went back out and into the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of juice knowing that the last time I had nearly passed out from the blood loss that and I had to run somewhere and running somewhere after losing blood was not a good combination. I finally realized why those people at the blood donation places gave you that cookie afterwards. I peeled the sleeve of my left arm. "Have I really cut myself that much?" I said in dismay as I could not find an unblemished piece of skin. I rolled the sleeve back down and did the same inspection with the right. The only area left on that arm was the area by the veins in my wrist. "Risky" I thought to myself. The headache seemed to worsen just for spite. "What the hell?" I thought to myself as I started to make the incision. I was concentrating extremely hard when the phone rang and distracted me. "Shit!" I said as I accidentally nicked the vein. "Shit, shit, shit!" I cried aloud. Blood was coming out fast. I quickly tried applying pressure to it, but it wasn't helping. Minutes have passed and I'm starting to feel a little light headed. I try to get up off the floor to walk over to the phone. I swipe at the air. Once. Twice. Third luck's the charm it seems. I try to dial the numbers, but I collapse. I'm really light headed and the numbers are just too damn blurry. My body makes contact with the kitchen floor. "That's gonna leave mark" I said with a chuckle. I try to visualize the numbers on the phone and clumsily dial the numbers. I've stopped applying pressure and watch mesmerized as the blood continues to pour out. My vision is masked by a red haze. I hear a voice on the other end of the line and black out.

Part 5

When Kwest came home he wasn't prepared for what awaited him. He saw Jude's body lying on the kitchen floor. He quickly ran towards it. He sat stood there in shock from the sight of all the blood. His trance was shattered when he heard a voice. "Hello. Is anyone there?" said a voice. Kwest quickly seized the phone. "Is this an emergency?" said the voice. "Hi, yes I need an ambulance…"

Part 6

When Kwest rode with the EMT he numbly answered their questions. "I found her like this when I got home from work" "No I don't know how long she had been like unconscious." When they were applying the IV to Jude's arm he gasped aloud as he took in the pattern of scars snaking down her arm. "I didn't know" he said meekly. "I had no idea" Kwest answered when the EMT asked about the scars on Jude's arm. He deftly pulled up the sleeve of Jude's other arm to reveal similar markings on the other hand. "How could I have been so blind!" Kwest thought to himself angrily. "She seemed perfectly fine. Obviously she wasn't peachy or even hunkey dorey, but this! This can't be happening. I'm going to pinch myself and I'm gonna wake up at the studio. I mean I've been burning the candle at both ends for a while now" Kwest thought to himself. Kwest pinched his arm as hard as he could. "Ow" Kwest said rubbing his arm gingerly. The EMT's give him a quizzical look as the vehicle comes to a stop. They had reached the hospital.

Part 7

"What have we got here?" "Caucasian female, early twenties, wound to the left wrist, blood loss" "Sir?" "Sir you can't go in here" Kwest looked around him for the first time. "Oh, right" he said. "Take a seat over there" said the attendant.

Part 8

"This isn't happening. This is really happening" Kwest said as he held his head in his hands. He heard a snatch of conversation and sat up quickly in his seat when he heard the words "pile up earlier" and "low supply." Kwest got up off his chair and interrupted the conversation. "I'm the one who brought her in" Kwest said irritably when he saw their questioning looks. "Sir, there was a huge pile up earlier that we're still dealing with and our blood supplies are extremely low. Now we have some in reserves in case something like this happens, but your friend has a rare blood type, RH-negative. We need to find her some blood" said the doctor. Kwest churned the words around in his head before he started dialing. In less than an hour he had called everyone he knew. Soon the waiting room was littered with Jude's family, friends, and most of Harrison-Quincy Records employees, and a few others. Soon everyone who came was being attended to by a nurse and getting blood drawn. The samples were taken and tested for a possible match. People struck up conversation amongst themselves as they continued to wait. "We have a match. Sir, if you'll please come with me" said the nurse. All present in the room gave him a smile of relief and watched as he disappeared through the double doors with a nurse.

Part 9

Jude stared up at her ceiling and peered at the walls, which were all padded for her protection. She sighed audibly and trailed her fingers along her arms to the spot on her wrist. Flashback: "Hey shorty" he said with a grin on his face that tried to mask the fear she read in his eyes. "Why are you doing this?" I croaked. "I told you. I have a lot of making up to do." He said as he remembered that other conversation. End of flashback. At first she had fought the doctors every time it was time to take her meds. After a while she just gave up. Not only did it make her feel numb, but it made her head feel fuzzy as if there was a constant drone of bees flying around in her mind. She turned all visitors away. She didn't want them to see her like this. She just wanted to be left alone in her misery. She no longer had any means of escape. Her room was bare. It contained no sharp objects; they were sure to check every day. Nothing to do. No one to talk to. Maybe this is what she deserved. She heard a knock on her door. "Jude you have a visitor" said the voice behind the door. She heard the click of her lock slide as the door opened. She followed without complaint and found herself in the visitor's room sitting at a table where someone was waiting for her.

Part 10

"What's up shorty?" Shay said nervously. Jude sat silent. "How're you doing?" Shay said. When she didn't respond Shay frowned. "I'm trying here, Jude" he said. "Maybe I don't want you to try, Shay. Maybe I don't want anyone to try. Maybe I just want to be left alone" I said as my eyes flashed at his. "I brought you something that might cheer you up" Shay said. "I talked to your doc and he gave me the green light. They're setting it up in your room right now. Why don't we go check it out" Shay said as the orderly shook his head and pointed for them to follow.

Part 11

When they reached the room Jude took tentative steps to the area of her room where it laid waiting. She pulled out the bench and lovingly laid her fingers over the keys. Jude laid her head on the piano and breathed it in. To Shay, Jude's reaction was like that of a flower finally getting some much deserved water. Jude seemed wilted and pale compared to the girl that he had known in the past. It had been a long time since Jude felt anything. For the first time in a long time she felt a surge of joy and to her surprise she saw a pool of tears on the piano. When she turned around her door was closed and Shay was gone.

Part 12

Music filled my ears and I knew I was home. For so long I hadn't felt comfort. Each note in the air seemed to dispel the fuzzy haze I had been stumbling blindly in. I could feel my spirits lift, feel something again. It had been a while since I had heard my voice. It sounded like a stranger to me; a stranger I wanted to know again.

Tears and Rain (James Blunt 'Back to Bedlam')

How I wish I could surrender my soul;

Shed the clothes that become my skin;

See the liar that burns within my needing.

How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.

How I wish I had screamed out loud,

Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.

It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;

Hold memory close at hand,

Help me understand the years.

How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.

How I wish I would save my soul.

I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.

Far, far away; find comfort in pain.

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

I sighed contentedly as the last note echoed. Shay had given me a greater gift than he would know. He had given me hope. And for that I would be forever grateful.

Part 13

It almost became a ritual to my endless days. Waking. Taking the Meds. Playing the piano to desperately fight through the fogginess. I was trapped in a place of my own making whether both in my mind and my cell that I called home. My hope was small, but like a tiny spark that births a fire I needed to coax it to grow rather than to extinguish.

Goodbye My Lover Lyrics (James Blunt 'Back to Bedlam')

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the mother of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bear my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Changed the line. Used to say

'I'd be the father of your child'

Part 14

Tommy stood frozen outside Jude's door hit with a timult of emotions. "Those words…" Tommy said dejectedly. "Mr. Quincy? Are you alright? Will you be visiting Ms. Harrison today?" said the orderly with concern on his face. "What!" said Tommy. "Um…" said Tommy. "Just tell her how you feel?" said the orderly. "What!" Tommy said even more confused. "I don't mean to pry, but you should go in there" said the orderly. Tommy looked at him even more confused. "You're him, aren't you. The one she's always singing about?" said the orderly. Tommy looked at him. "She's never mentioned your name, per se, but my wife reads those gossip magazines and just to let you know she's pulling for the two of you" said the orderly with small smile. Before Tommy could say anything the orderly unlocked the door and gently gave him a shove into the room. Then he gave Tommy a smile through the small window as he slid the bolt home leaving Tommy to face Jude.

Part 15

Jude looked up from the piano and froze. She slowly got up and walked over to the bed and sat down. She could feel his gaze on her. Even their time apart hadn't distilled their connection. He gazed at her arms at the white scars. She self consciously folded her arms. "What are you doing here Quincy" I said not able to meet his gaze. "I…I" Tommy stuttered. "I don't remember you being so articulate" I said with a wry smile. "No more talking" he said and looked at me with so much love and sadness and compassion that it hurt. "Just listen…" he said as he sat down at the piano.

Cry (James Blunt 'Back to Bedlam)

I have seen peace. I have seen pain,

Resting on the shoulders of your name.

Do you see the truth through all their lies?

Do you see the world through troubled eyes?

And if you want to talk about it anymore,

Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,

I'm a friend.

I have seen birth. I have seen death.

Lived to see a lover's final breath.

Do you see my guilt? Should I feel fright?

Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?

And if you want to talk about it once again,

On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder.

You're a friend.

You and I have been through many things.

I'll hold on to your heart.

I wouldn't cry for anything,

But don't go tearing your life apart.

I have seen fear. I have seen faith.

Seen the look of anger on your face.

And if you want to talk about what will be,

Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,

I'm a friend.

And if you want to talk about it anymore,

Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,

I'm a friend.

Part 16

Whatever Tommy's expectations were of Jude's reactions didn't even come close to what transpired. "What am I supposed to do with that, huh Quincy" I said. "Jude I meant every word" Tommy said. "That might have worked once upon a time Tommy, but I'm not that girl. She's gone. She died" I said. "Jude you're not alone! Let me be here for you!" Tommy said as he placed his hands on my shoulders. I shook them off irritated. "You're not the only one grieving Jude. You're not the only one that lost someone, so stop acting like it. You're not the only one that lost Aiden" Tommy said. Jude looked at Tommy with the coldest look he had ever seen. She looked almost feral. "What did you say?" I said. "You heard me Jude. You think you're the only one that's dealing with what happened. I was there too. I'm the reason he's not here. I'm the reason Aiden's gone" Tommy said forlornly. "Don't say his name in front of me, ever!" I yelled. "You think just because you played house with us for a couple of days, a week the most that what we were a big happy family! He was mine Tommy. He was my responsibility. He was my…I failed him Tommy. I've lost him. He's not coming back. I'll never get to see him grow up. I'll never see him in school plays, graduation, college, getting married…" Jude started rocking back and forth. "My beautiful boy, my little Aiden" I whispered. "Jude I loved him, too. Doesn't matter it I spent just a day an hour a minute a few seconds with him. I loved him. I love you. We were a family, Jude. We were happy." Tommy said. It was at that point that Jude started destroying her room. She overturned the bed, picked up the piano bench, and hurled it at the door. Tommy cringed as he heard the crunch of wood against the door. The orderly who had waited outside the door quickly came in with reinforcements. They grabbed Jude and restrained her arms. The third quickly thrust the needle in Jude's arm and after a few seconds she stopped struggling and fell unconscious. Tommy just stood there. "Mr. Quincy, you better go" said the orderly he had spoken to before. Tommy stumbled out the door. His hands were still shaking when he tried to put the keys into the car. He fell to his knees and cried out.

Part 17

After the incident with Tommy's visit Jude's doctors decided it would be best if she was kept restrained and be heavily drugged to keep her from hurting herself and others. They had also taken the piano from her room. Jude stared at the ceiling with vacant eyes; she had retreated into the depths of her mind, the only safe place she had left to turn to.

Part 18

Jude sat in the room with her eyes transfixed on Aiden. "Present?" Aiden said as his eyes grew bigger. Aiden ripped open the present with glee to reveal a pair of hockey skates. He lugged over the skates to show them to Jude. "Mommy look!" Aiden exclaimed. "Mommy?" Aiden said. "Why does this seem so familiar?" Jude thought to herself. "Mommy!" Aiden yelled into Jude's ear. "Huh? Oh." I said. "I said wanna go skating, please?" Aiden said with puppy dog eyes. "Why don't you ask Tommy really nice? You know Mommy's coordination challenged." I said to Aiden. "Okay" Aiden said disappointed. "Tommy will you take me skating" Aiden mumbled. "Wow, don't try to hold your enthusiasm" Tommy said. "Please." Aiden said. "Sure" said Tommy. I gave him a grateful look.

Part 19

I made sure both of my boys were bundled up. They book looked comical in their hats, scarves, gloves, jackets, snow boots, and layers lots of layers of clothes. "Jude, I think were good" Tommy said as I stuffed hand warmers in his pockets. "Really" he said with one of his cute looks. Aiden was growing impatient. "C'mon Mommy" Aiden said. He looked like a can of soda that had been shook waiting to explode. I took my time to the door and held it open. Aiden was a blur as he whizzed by me. "Tommy!" Aiden yelled in the distance. "I'm coming! Hold your horses" Tommy said. "Horses. Good idea Tommy. I knew you were good for something" I said teasingly as I stood on my tippy toes and kissed him on the nose. "I'll be here all week" Tommy dead panned before he dragged himself out the door.

Part 20

Jude loved the feeling of the wind in her hair and the freedom she felt as the horse galloped acre after acre of property. Her horse enjoyed it just as much as she had and they had both worked up a sweat after a good gallop involving jumping over fallen trees and what not. Meanwhile back at the pond. Tommy was amazed at how good a skater Aiden was; although not entirely surprised since his father had been a professional hockey player. Tommy continued to admire Aiden's footwork never realized that the ice beneath him wasn't as thick as he had thought until he heard a large crack and found himself falling through the ice.

Aiden immediately skated over to the spot of the break and tried to reach his hand out to grab Tommy and try to put him back onto the ice. His arms were too short and he couldn't reach Tommy's bobbing form; meanwhile the ice around the hole was starting to crack as well. Aiden took off his ice skates for fear of injuring Tommy and jumped into the water. Tommy's body was still heavy, but not as heavy in the water as he doggy paddled him towards the ice. He did his best to keep Tommy's head above the water as he climbed out of the water and layed down on the ice with a firm grip on Tommy's collar.

Jude was just riding back towards the barn and decided to stop by the pond to check on Tommy and Aiden. She started to get worried when no one answered her calls. She had just left her horse by the tree and was telling her not to wander off with promises of a good rub down and some fresh carrots. After an agreement had been reached which involved a light nip on her jacket Jude started walking quickly towards the pond. She was at a dead run when she saw two bodies, one bobbing lifelessly in the water and the smaller one on the ice clutching the other body.

Part 21

"This isn't happening" I cried out and began sobbing into her hands. It took a while for Jude's sobs to subside, but they did. "Again. This is happening again" Jude said as her head jerked back.

Part 22

"Mommy are you okay?" said Aiden who was tugging on her sleeve. "What?" I said as I looked at my surroundings. We were sitting in the living room with Aiden holding the present in his hands unopened. When Aiden saw he head my attention he ripped open the present to reveal a pair of ice skates. "Look!" he said as he hugged the skates to his chest. I quickly grabbed the skates from him. "Hey! They're mine!" Aiden wailed as he tried to snatch them back. "I have to return them. They're the wrong size!" I said. Tommy gave me a weird look. I gave him one of those 'just go with it looks.' "Yeah sorry Aiden I got you the wrong size, but tomorrow we'll get you another pair I promise" Tommy said to Aiden. "Pinky swear?" Aiden said whose bottom lip was quivering. "Pinky swear" Tommy said as he leaned his forehead to Aiden's. Tommy got Aiden settled in front of the television watching Spongebob. He steered me into the kitchen. "Jude, what was that?" Tommy said concerned. "Tommy what if I were to tell you that this already happened. That I know what's going to happen?" I said as I paced the kitchen. "Jude, you're freaking me out. Just stop. And tell me what's going on" he said as he looked into my eyes. So I told him. "Don't look at me like that!" I glared at him. "Like what!" he said. "Like I'm a crazy person!" I said defensively. "Jude give me a break. What you told me. I'm still trying to grasp everything. Give me a second or two to take it all in" Tommy said. And he laughed. "That was a good one, Jude. Did Kwest put you up to this?" Tommy said wiping his eyes. "Tommy I'm dead serious" I said. "Jude do you even hear yourself. Now, I want you to lie down and rest. You look beat" Tommy said. "I'll lie down as long as you promise not to take him skating at the pond. Promise me, Tommy" I said. "Jude, I promise. Cross my heart. Hope to…" he was saying as I covered his lips with my hands. "Don't say it." I said. "I promise okay. I promise I won't take him ice skating at the pond. Happy." Tommy said. "Yes" I yawned. I walked over to the living room, kissed Aiden atop his head, and fell on the bed in a heap. "I am tired. I'm just going to close my eyes for a few seconds" I said as my eyelids fluttered closed.

Part 23

Tommy bit his lip as he watched Aiden skate on the ice. How could you say no to Aiden. "I'm a sucker" Tommy said aloud. "You're a sucker!" Aiden said with glee as he skated by Tommy. "You better not repeat those words in front of Jude or you're gonna be in big trouble mister" Tommy scolded Aiden when all of a sudden he felt the ice beneath him give way.

Part 24

"Oh no" Jude said as she sat straight up in the bed. The covers were off in a second and she was running to the pond. She was too late, again. "Why is this happening!" she cried aloud to the sky expecting an answer.

Part 25

"You alright there Jude" Tommy said. "What!" I said. Aiden and Tommy both looked at Jude. "Nothing, sorry" I said. "Now about that…" Tommy was saying but I cut him off. "Don't give him the P-R-E-S-E-N-T!" I said to Tommy. "Present?" cried Aiden. "He's a kid, Jude. Of course he knows the word present" Tommy said as he ruffled Aiden's hair. When Aiden tried to do the same to Tommy Tommy gave him a stern look. "Don't even think about it!" Tommy said to Aiden who took a step backwards. Jude watched helpless as Aiden ripped open the package. "Ice skates!" Aiden cried out. "Let's go skating right now!" Aiden said as he grabbed my hand.

Part 26

I found myself on the ice trying my best not to fall. Next thing I knew Aiden and Tommy had grabbed me and were navigating me around the ice. "You guys stop! Seriously! Or I'm going to kill you both!" I said. "Okay" both of them said suspiciously. "You'll have to catch the two of us first anyways" Tommy said mischievously as he pushed me out in the middle of the ice. "Just wait Quincy until I get my hands on you!" I said threateningly. The air was filled with Aiden's laughter, which turned into a scream as he fell through the ice. Tommy skated over in a heartbeat and found himself submerged in water as he tried to make his way towards Aiden. "Oh God!" I said as I made my way over and felt the rush of water.

Part 27

"Jude wake up" Tommy said as he gently shook my shoulder. Aiden dragged the present over to Jude. "Can I open this now?" Aiden asked Jude. "How many times is this going to happen?" Jude said aloud. "Mommy what's wrong?" Aiden said as he took my hand. "Everything" I said as I drew him into a hug. "Mommy just needs a nap. Don't you Jude. Why don't you go take a nap and we can open the present later, okay Aiden?" Tommy said. "Okay but I'm taking a nap with Mommy" Aiden said. "Let's go Mommy" Aiden said as he dragged me to the bedroom. When we were both under the covers I held Aiden close to me. I breathed in the scent of his hair. Fear gripped me. I didn't want to fall asleep for fear of it happening again. I stayed awake for a good hour when Tommy came into the room and hopped in the bed. "Everything will be better once you get some rest" Tommy said as he kissed my forehead. "I promise" he said as he wrapped me in his embrace. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take me.

Part 28

When I woke up again I was freezing. "What the" I said as I got pushed myself off the ice. I stared horrified at the two bodies. "How many times is this going to happen?" I cried aloud. "Until you let it go" a voice said. I looked up startled as Aiden picked himself up off the ice and walked over towards me. "Aiden?" I asked as I put my hand out towards him.

Part 29

The doctors had called in Jude's family and friends. They didn't know what to make of her. She lay on the bed with her eyes wide open. She hadn't responded to anything. Not for water, food, sleep. They had each of them come into the room and talk to her to try to bring her out of it, but all attempts had failed. Tommy growled his frustration. "I thought you said this was supposed to work" Tommy said as he paced. "We're trying everything we can. We're trying our best" said one of Jude's doctors. "You're best isn't cutting it. Not even close" Tommy said in a dangerous voice. Kwest put his hand on his best friend's shoulder. Tommy yanked it off as if he had been burned. "Tommy they're trying. And you harassing them isn't going to help Jude get better" Kwest said to Tommy. Tommy sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry" Tommy said as he dragged his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Why don't you tell everyone they can go. We'll call you if her condition changes" said the doctor. Tommy and Kwest both looked up in protest. "You guys haven't slept in days. You could all use a rest" said the doctor. "He's right" said a few voices in unison. Tommy and Kwest turned around towards the voices. Georgia, E.J., Jude's parents, Sadie, Jamie, Kat all looked weary. "We've come up with a phone chain. If there's a change we'll all know. And we'll all be here" Sadie said. "Together" Paolo said as he squeezed her hand. "Fine" Tommy said as he surrendered. "Kwest man can you" Tommy said. "I'll take you" Kwest said.

Part 30

"I'm not the one you think I am" said Aiden. "Aiden's gone Jude" he said. "Who are you?" I said as I stared at him. "I'm a figment that your consciousness made up" he said matter of factly. "You're my what now?" I said in confusion. "I'm your guilty conscience. You seemed to have gotten it in your head that Aiden's death was your fault." he said. "It was my fault" I said bitterly. "What. It's your fault that the ice broke? Is that it? You being mother nature caused the ice to melt causing Tommy and Aiden's demise?" he said. I was getting angry. "I could have saved him!" I yelled. "No Jude you couldn't. Don't you get it? Don't you get the point of this whole messed up Ground Hog Day exercise? Nothing you could have done or changed or whatever could have saved Aiden. Nothing." he said. "Nothing" I said in a small voice. His voice grew gentle. "There's nothing you could have done. So, stop doing this to yourself" he said as he put his hand on my shoulder. "Stop hurting yourself Mommy" he said as he held my hand in his face and wiped away the tears. I looked up startled as I looked up to see two Aiden's standing in front of me.

Part 31

My mouth started working, but no sounds came out. The air shimmered and the other Aiden was gone. "You told me once that if I kept my face like that it would freeze that way!" he said with a mischievous wink. I took him in my arms. "We'll take good care of him Jude. We promise" said a chorus of voices.

Part 32

I tried to shield my eyes from the bright light. It started to fade. When I could open my eyes again I saw Eli, Alice, and Aiden's mom and dad. "Thank you Jude" they said. "Thank you for watching our son" they said. "Aiden it's time to go. Say goodbye to Jude" they said. I felt my heart constrict. "Jude, thank you for taking care of me, but it's time for me to be with my mom and dad. I love you" he said as he wiped away one of my stray tears. "I'll always be with you. Here. And here." He said as he touched my forehead and my heart. "I'll miss you, too!" I said as I pulled him into a tight embrace. "Don't cry. Everything's going to be okay now" he said confidently. "Please take care of yourself. And take care of Tommy" he said with an impish grin. "Take care of each other Jude" he said seriously. "I will. We will." I said. There was a flash of bright light and I my vision was washed in darkness once more.

Part 33

"Hello" Tommy said groggily. "Tommy I'm on my over now. It's Jude…" Kwest said. Tommy stumbled out of bed. "Jude…"

Part 34

Jude's doctors were less than thrilled when she demanded that they allow her to check herself out considering she was in a catatonic state up until recently. Those that knew her best knew to stay out of her way when she had the look of fire and lightning in her eyes. Everyone wanted to know what had happened, what was happening to her, but kept their questions at arms length. They saw the pain that she outwardly displayed in her body language and through her eyes and wanted nothing more than to comfort the young woman. "Thanks you guys for being understanding" I said as I gave each of them a hug. "I've been going through, I am going through a lot, and I just need some time to…" her words trailed as a disheveled Tommy stumbled through the door. His shirt was inside out, he had bed hair desperately trying to escape a baseball cap, and his eyes were hidden beneath a pair of sunglasses. When he took them off his face and their eyes locked all the sound and movement in the room seemed to melt away until it was just the two of them. Neither wanted to break the moment; it wasn't until they both heard the sound of the door being closed that the peace was momentarily broken. Both were wary to make a move. They were both content to stare at each other assessing wounds internal and on the surface. Jude made her way towards Tommy, but instead of stopping in front of him she continued on her way out the door and into the night.

Part 35

He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there, but Tommy was confused to say the least. "What just happened…did she just?" he stammered as he quickly made his way outside the building turning this way and that in search of the familiar red locks he had so often times twirled in his fingers. He sat down on the curb as he remembered that Kwest had driven and he was stranded. He was about to give him a call on his cell when Kwest pulled the car up to the curb. "Hey T" Kwest said as he rolled down the window. "Get in" said Kwest.

Part 36

Tommy closed the front door of the house. He trudged up the stairs and opened the door to the bedroom. The lights were still off and he shrugged off his shoes and socks before removing his jeans and t-shirt. He gingerly made his way into bed. About to close his eyes and succumb to sleep he felt a warm current of air on the side of his neck. "What took you so long?" I murmured gently into his ear. His eyes shot open and he was about to say something when she silenced his lips with a kiss. His eyes pleaded with a hundred questions, which she wasn't ready to face. "Can't it just be you kissing me?" I said. Our time spent apart only increased the passion and desire we felt for each other. He kissed each scar on my arms with such tenderness and love that I felt unshed tears finally break forth like a dam. I had been so numb to everything that it seemed like they would never stop. All he said through my tears were 3 simple words over and over: I. love. you. For feeling numb for so long it hurt to feel so much all at once. "You can't forgive me" I sobbed into his chest as he stroked my hair. "You can't" I said disconsolately as I beat my fists into his chest. He gently took my hands in his. I forgot how perfect they felt in his. "Too bad because I just did" he said. He wiped the tears from my face and kissed my forehead before placing kisses on each eyelid, nose, until he reached my mouth. I drowned myself in his kisses. Each kiss sent tingles all over my body. He made his way slowly down my body, attentive to every single nook until I was gasping with pleasure. I found my fingers tangled in his hair as he continued to explore. My hands found their way to his shoulders and back before he gently took my hands in his and placed them above my head with our fingers entwined. My body hadn't forgotten how much it ached for him. He was the waves and I was the moon; forces always pulling towards each other. Pleasure came in small waves, growing larger as time elapsed. My legs entwined his waist as my hips accommodated to the motion of our bodies. We soared to new heights until we both lay there sated with knowing smiles that only we shared. We both knew that come morning complications and questions lay before us; life awaited us. But as beams of sunlight peaked through the blinds we both knew that in that exact moment we both knew exactly where we were meant to be.