Chapter 10: Getting the Munchies

I had just closed my eyes, hugging the warm little body to me-and she was gone. The pain was back, though. Boy, was it back! Every inch of me seemed to hurt, and I wasn't about to even think about moving the slightest muscle. I was laying flat on my back, wrapped in something warm. Good thing, too, because I could feel the shivers wracking my body. Lethargy permeated every inch of me, dragging, but I resisted. It was too quiet here. I couldn't even hear myself breathing!

A whisper came then, barely audible. "I'm sorry. I can't help with this one. The seals are in place."

As soon as Allie's sweet voice was gone, my hearing kicked back in. I almost wished I'd stayed deaf.

"...typical military grunt! If there's a problem, bullets will solve it! You almost got Sheppard killed!"

I could be dead and still recognize that voice. The sonorous tones of Rodney McKay in full snit mode.

"If I hadn't shot, the colonel might have been dead! For the hundredth time, Rodney, I knew exactly what I was shooting at! Quit being so melodramatic!" A woman's voice I didn't recognize, sounding rather exasperated. I winced, knowing what was coming. Sure enough...

"Melodramatic! Me! May I remind you that I'm not the one who offered to nobly sacrifice themselves not that long ago? Now who's melodramatic?"

"Rodney! Give it a rest! We all need some sleep, and I will personally take a piece out of your hide if you wake Colonel Sheppard!" Elizabeth did not sound happy, but she got results. Silence descended and I drifted off again, dreaming... No, remembering...

"Colonel Sheppard! I need to speak with you!"

Damn. Atlantis' resident village idiot!

"Dr. Kavanaugh, I really don't have time at the moment. I'm headed off-world in twenty minutes-"

"This won't wait! My research is vital and I can't do it properly if I can't go off-world! I was guaranteed that if I came back to Atlantis, there would be no interference with my work! I sent in all the paperwork, but that officious jerk, Major Low-"

"Is just doing his job! You haven't bothered to go through the military safety training required for off-world clearance! And its Major Lorne!" My jaw clenched. 0900 and this pain already had me yelling. Not my recommended way to start the day.

"I've got much more important things to do then-"

The ass was actually sneering at me! I cut him off. "Get the proper clearance or you don't go. Period."

I quickly moved around him and on down the corridor, not bothering to wait for his response. Once I was out of range, I tapped my ear piece.

"Lorne, this is Sheppard."

"Yes, Colonel, what can I do for you?"

"I'm afraid its what I just did to you, Marcus. Kavanaugh headed your way. I told him no clearance, no gate, but he may try an end run."

There was a long moment of silence. "You're about to gate out, aren't you, sir?"

"Yep. And if that ass doesn't knock it off, I think I'll stay there."

A laugh. "I'll be ready for him. Good luck, sir."

"Thanks, Sheppard out."

Slowly waking again, I groaned to myself. That? Could that possibly have been what set Allie off? When did my life get so complicated?

Hey, look on the bright side John. That was your own memory!

I drifted off for a while...only to wake to Round 2.

"Why don't you find a way to make yourself useful and blow that thing up!" Rodney again. Did the man never shut up?

A feminine sigh. "Last night you were complaining because I did shoot and the bullets ricocheted off its thick hide! Make up your mind, Rodney!"

"That was before we were in danger of starving to death! Do you want to do that? It's an ugly way to die!"

"Oh, come on!" I could just imagine Cadman's disbelieving roll of the eyes at that one. "There's still enough food and water for at least two days in the packs! Standard procedure, McKay. Besides, I don't see you doing much to get us out!"

"Ah, hello! No power! What am I, Miracles R Us? Made to order while you wait?"

I bit back a laugh, which quickly turned to a groan as my body protested. "You're slipping, McKay. That one was actually funny."

"John? Carson! He's awake!" As I opened my eyes, Elizabeth appeared, putting a restraining hand on my shoulder to keep me from trying to get up. Not that I had any intention of trying to at the moment.

"What is it with people yelling when I'm just waking up?" I grumpily muttered, then paused, trying to decide just what I was referring to. Something with a little girl...

Then my favorite Scottish doctor was there, his instincts about McKay, me, and trouble having been proved right. Again.

"Colonel! Just lay still an' let me have a look at ya. Still cold?"

I realized I was shivering a little, making the metallic emergency blankets I was wrapped in crinkle and crackle. I was also missing a few clothes.

"Yes, I am. Can I have my clothes back, doc? I don't exactly relish the idea of being rescued in my underwear."

That comment earned a light laugh from a relieved Elizabeth and an acknowledging grin from Carson.

"Aye, that might be a wee bit embarrassin'. Yer uniform's dry now, so we'll see what we can do in a minute. Think you can sit up an' lean against the wall here? I want ta listen to yer chest."

At my hesitant nod, he and Elizabeth gently began to lift me to a seated position. Despite Carson's question, they were doing all the work, too. I found myself concentrating on convincing my head that imitating a carnival ride really wasn't necessary. Nor was passing out again. Or throwing up, for that matter! A nice, clean, warm infirmary bed was starting to sound awfully good.

Okay, now I know something's wrong with me!

"Easy, son, just take deep breaths and things should settle. Yer body took quite a beatin' yesterday."

My body wasn't the only thing. Little do they know...

Finally, the world stayed in place, and I was able to open my eyes again. Curious, I surveyed the room, steadfastly ignoring Carson and his ever ready medical bag of tricks. It was fairly small, but dry, sitting at the proper angle, and lit by a skylight. I was leaning against one of the walls, with what looked like a workbench and several partially constructed machines right across from me. To the left was a blast door, obviously trapping us here, and the door we scrambled through yesterday was stuck mostly open to my right. Lieutenant Cadman had stationed herself about ten feet back from it, P-90 to hand and a nervous look on her face. Not good.

"So, what lovely Pegasus Galaxy critter is trying to suck, munch, or maim us now?" I asked Elizabeth, who had scooted around to lean against the wall next to me.

Unfortunately, that was all it took to set Rodney off again, who was impatiently pacing in a tight circle near me. At my question, he paused and glared at Cadman.

"Yes, why don't you tell Sheppard what we've gotten into this time, Lieutenant Laugh-a-minute? You seem to have all the answers! Or maybe you'd like to volunteer to be its lunch so we can get by! Or-"

At that point, I tuned him out, just watching instead. McKay was beyond snit into full blown panic mode and I didn't feel up to dealing with it. Except...his voice had a harsh edge to it and his hands were shaking. Eyes narrowed, I suddenly had a hunch as to what was going on with the man. I reached for the tack vest beside me, which my head had previously been resting on, only to have my hand collide with Beckett's. We exchanged knowing looks as he placed a Power Bar in my hand, obviously having noted the same symptoms I had. Mindful of sore ribs, shoulder, and arm, I carefully drew back and let fly, the bar hitting my intended target square in the back of the head with a satisfying thwap.

"Hey! Sheppard!" McKay turned his glare on me, but I noticed that he didn't hesitate to scoop the tossed food off the floor, rip the wrapper, and take a huge bite.

I let fly again, though this time verbally, easily falling into the role of pissed off team leader. "If I ever again catch you letting your hypoglycemia kick in because you've worked yourself into a snit and forgotten to eat, you'll be joining Teyla, Ronon and I for daily physical training for a month! Do I make myself crystal clear, McKay!"

His mouth dropped open, face suddenly white. "You-you can't order me to-"

"Oh, yes he can. He's your team commander, and I happen to agree with him!" Elizabeth's quiet, deadly calm voice cut through McKay's objections like a hot knife through butter.

I knew there was a reason I liked this woman!

"Just eat, Rodney. I have my hands full with just the Colonel at the moment. I really donna need another patient." Carson gave McKay an exasperated look, then turned his full attention back to me. "As for you, John, I want ya ta stay still and calm. You had a nasty bout of hypothermia yesterday, and yer temperature's still a little low. You also have a wee bit o' a bump on the head, a nasty cut on yer arm that'll need stitches and three cracked ribs. Not ta mention numerous cuts, abrasions, and bruises."

Wearily, I closed my eyes. "If someone will help me get dressed, then explain what's going on, I won't move another inch."

Carson snorted disbelievingly at that, but beckoned Rodney over to help. Between the two of them, once the ladies had promised not to peek, they got me redressed and settled back down, once more wrapped in the thin blankets. It at least made me feel a little more human, if exhausted. Before I could remind them that it was explanation time, however, a flash of movement brought my gaze to the open door. There was a crash that actually made the room shake as what looked like an enormous crocodile head thrust itself as far as it could into the room, massive jaws snapping closed just short of Cadman and Elizabeth.

"Damn! What the hell was that!"

"That, colonel, was part of our problem." Elizabeth quickly retreated, gracefully resuming her former spot next to me, though I could see she was a little shaken. "It can't get into the room and we can't get out. Lieutenant Cadman tried shooting it, but the bullets ricocheted off, and she tried a grenade, but the thing apparently spit it out into the ocean. We don't have any power, coms, or a way to get the other door open."

Rodney and Carson joined us with weary expressions and stiff movements. Looked like I wasn't the only one to pick up a few bruises. Abruptly, I remembered the whisper I had gotten earlier.

"Allie said Atlantis had sealed the room." I really needed to stop speaking my thoughts out loud. It tended to promote being stared at like I was insane.

"John...What are you talking about? Who's Allie?"

Crap. I so did not want to get into this right now. Here goes nothing.

"Allie is a...child form that the Atlantis computer created to learn to be human. She's kinda the one responsible for my amnesia and the malfunctions. We sort of fed back on each other and scrambled everything. Last night, she brought me into the computer somehow so she could tell me. She promised to never do it again without talking to me first."

Way to go, John. That was clear as mud. But how the hell do you explain it?

McKay was the first to break the stunned silence. "Wait, you mean like an Avatar? An Artificial Intelligence in a humanoid body? Like that robot on the TV show Andromeda? That isn't possible! Is it?"

"That would be yes and yes, Einstein. And she said you were mean." I couldn't keep the light teasing note out of my voice.

"John, is she...a threat? I mean, you and I have discussed the possibility that the city had some rudimentary independent intelligence, and certainly the SGC had seen it before, but..." Our fearless leader seemed a little flabbergasted and hesitant about this one.

"If your asking is she going to make like a Replicator and try to take over everything, the answer is no, Elizabeth. She a scared, lonely, mixed up kid who just wants to learn about us and be loved. She didn't understand that what she was doing was wrong. She's the one who blocked my memories, because of a misunderstanding that's been cleared up now. She did it by taking advantage of a certain attack on me that all of you so carefully failed to mention!"

All three of them flinched at that, Beckett dropping his head in discomfort, much like Allie did.

Elizabeth sighed. "I'm sorry, John, we should have told you, but we all felt you had enough to deal with at the time. The nurse who did it managed to get through the Stargate, and his records here have all been falsified. I was waiting on your recovery and the return of the Daedalus with any further information before I discussed it with you."

"Hey! Does this mean that your memories will come back, though? I mean, since it wasn't actually the injury..." McKay was watching me rather closely.

Why was he so nervous?

"Some of them already have, thank God." I slumped back against the wall, a pleased grin on my face. "So, anyone tried the skylight?"

McKay rolled his eyes. "Of course! Do I look stupid to you? This was a space ship, Sheppard. That may look like glass, but its actually some sort of transparent metal. I doubt even a direct hit with a drone could break it."

A gray fog settled over my eyes, my friends' voices receding to a distant murmur. My headache also spiked, prompting me to close my eyes.

"Sorry, but this is an emergency. He's right, and Atlantis is about to initiate damage control protocols. She'll separate off the two rooms you're in and jettison them rather than allow further damage to the city. You have to get out of there in the next thirty minutes!" Allie, sounding panicked and once again on the edge of tears. Shit.

As quickly as she had come, she was gone, leaving me with a pounding head. My companions' voices came back full volume, and not happy.

"Colonel! Can ya hear me, lad?"

"John!"

"Damn it, Sheppard!"

Allowing my eyes to open a crack, I glared at them. "Will you people stop yelling! Allie was warning me that Atlantis is going to allow this section to drop off. We need to find a way out of here, now."

"How! Or have you forgotten our Godzilla wannabe out there!" Rodney again.

I sighed, my gaze lighting on Cadman. "Wait a minute! Lieutenant, do you have any more grenades?"

She spun around and came over to us, puzzled. "Yes, sir, two. But the thing just spit it out last time."

"So we wrap it in something more tasty, like tricking a dog into taking a pill by hiding it in some food."

"That never worked with my cat." McKay was beginning to make me wish for some duct tape.

"Do you have a better idea?" I asked him sharply.

"No, but-"

"Then shut up, McKay! I'm gonna need that arm, doc." Carson had grabbed my bad arm, apparently to change the dressing on the long cut.

"Aye, I know. But ya said ya needed somethin' the beastie would think was food, right? How about a bloody bandage?"

At that moment, I could have kissed him. "Okay, who has the best throwing arm? Mine's a little weak right now."

Elizabeth smiled tightly. "I think that would be me. I used to pitch on my high school baseball team."

How many more surprises does this woman have up her sleeve!

"Right. After the bandage is wrapped around it, Cadman can pull the pin and you'll have about fifteen seconds to make your throw. Then we get outta here and have a jumper pick us up. Sounds easy enough."

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed at that. "Nothing's ever easy with you around, John Sheppard. We'll talk more about Allie later."

I gave her my best 'Who, me?' innocent look, my energy fading fast. Things started to fuzz out after that. I saw her throw her bundle of bloody bandage and bang at an immediately straining through the door Jaws, Jr. She certainly hit her target, too, right into that gaping jaw. My eyes slipped closed, but I still heard the bang, and the cheer from my companions...and cracked my eyes back apart just enough to see the other door slide open. At that point, I decided that sleep was the best alternative, and let myself slide into the warm, inviting darkness...

tbc...Just the wrap-up left.