Jack Twist had never felt a year go by so slowly. There was usually something to make time pass but it seemed that death had severely limited his options. He had visited Lureen and Bobby more than a few times to see how they were getting on if only to provide a bit of variety. He had even attended Bobby's sixteenth birthday party and had come for Christmas. Of course no one knew he was there, but there were moments where he was fairly sure that they'd sensed him. The great breakthrough for him had been a month ago when he'd seen Bobby go out on the porch to sneak a smoke and Jack had commented that it was a disgusting habit. His son had replied, without missing a beat, "You got nothin' to say 'bout it. You's dead and you smoked too."

That had shocked Jack beyond even trying to answer. By the time he'd found the courage to, Bobby was deaf to him again. However, Jack did manage to pull the same brief contact every so often on his visits and for some longer periods. He'd even managed to get a few words from Lureen.

He had tried this with Ennis several times, but Ennis hadn't even batted an eyelid. But, Jack was determined and had managed to get him to turn his head a few times if he said his name loud enough but got nothing even close to what had happened in Lightning Flat. But, Jack had his faith, and it did give him something to do. He also had this feeling that tonight would be the night he got through to him, today being the only anniversary of his death that Ennis could take note of: the day he'd received the post card and gone to see his parents. The day he'd found those shirts.

It would be a fitting night, Jack decided. If only the son of a bitch would hear him.

The trailer door opened and in stepped Ennis, dirty, groaning, and sporting a slight limp. Jack shook his head; the ranch life would kill him before anything else would at this rate. His required physical exam earlier in the year had informed him that years of smoking, drinking and general abuse on his body were catching up with him. This just seemed to make Ennis work even harder instead of taking it easier. Whether this was because he wanted to hasten his death or prove the doctor wrong, Jack didn't know. It was probably more so of the latter, he decided. Ennis wouldn't leave his daughters until he was damn sure they were able to live without him. Alma, Jr. had only been married a few months and Francine hadn't found herself a man yet. No, that would have to be settled before Ennis Del Mar saw fit to die.

Ennis was certainly better off than he had been this morning at least. He'd had a nightmare that had viciously roused him at three in the morning, the subject of which Jack had no need to guess thanks to the anguished cries. The grieving man had sobbed himself back to sleep and had stomped out of the house a few hours later with a severe look on his face. Jack knew that look, the one that said 'I am NOT going to think of Jack Twist today.' It was a face he wore everyday, but today was the most extreme usage yet. Sadly, the goal implied was rarely ever reached; and only a cold-hearted man would have it be reached today.

As Jack's eyes followed Ennis around the room, he knew that he had been on Ennis' mind all day. Those eyes could still give away Ennis' heart with one look in them, the curse of a man of few words Jack assumed. The owner of the trailer stripped off the dirtied shirt, pulled on a nearby cleaner one, then headed directly to the fridge. Jack was shocked to see Ennis pull out about four bottles of whiskey. With a bit of a chuckle he couldn't help but feel a bit pleased and honoured that we was worth that much alcohol. How drunk did Ennis intend to get tonight? Jack stopped that thought right there, he wasn't going to let Ennis get anywhere near that far gone. It had been a year; he should have pulled himself together a long time ago.

Though, Jack found himself thinking, he still couldn't condemn him for that. He knew well enough that if positions were reversed that he'd be doing the same thing, and knew damn well that Ennis would never have been able to last in this state. Or maybe he would have. Jack let the thought die, this was how the dice had rolled and that was that.

Ennis balanced the bottles in his arms and settled them down on the bed but did not sit with them. Instead he elected to open the closet door and stare at the small memorial he had created. The two shirts, now with Jack's shirt folded inside of Ennis', hung on the same wire hanger off a nail hammered into the door. A postcard depicting the stunning mountain where it had all began was thumb tacked above the left shoulder. It was a simple tribute to what they had shared but that was all that was needed. What was being commemorated was still there, still binding them together, even through death; Jack's presence was enough to prove that.

Ennis had been silent for several moments. His eyes were closed and he was running his fingers lovingly across the shirts. Jack sucked in a breath and decided to make his move.

Ennis

No reaction. Ennis' eyes were open now and he was slowly moving to take the shirts off the hanger. Jack moved a few steps forward and spoke his name again, this time louder. A start and a turn of the head was the result of that call, but he did not pause from taking the shirts off the hanger and just holding them in his arms for a moment as he tried to talk some sense into himself. Jack stepped closer and spoke right into the other man's ear.

Ennis

Full stop. Jack could almost see the cogs in the other man's mind working. He was alone in the trailer and no one here knew of Jack Twist so that meant this wasn't a cruel joke. The spectre smiled faintly to himself as he watched Ennis' face almost change into a child's before his eyes as he very carefully answered back. "Jack?"

Jack released the breath he did not know he had been holding and fiercely rubbed at the tear pricks in the corners of his eyes. Finally, after a year of trying so damn hard to be heard, it was finally working for the one that mattered most to him. Ennis looked around the room, eyes in a panic that he was losing his mind. Jack remembered he hadn't answered.

Right here, cowboy.

Ennis drew in a shaky breath and turned to sit on the bed beside the whiskey bottles and clutched the shirts tightly to his chest as the tears started to flow. "I miss you," he whispered. "An' I'm so sorry…"

Jack was not going to hear any of this, not today, not ever again. But that was not what Ennis wanted to hear, or needed to hear, at this moment. Jack tried to think of himself in his lover's position. What were the golden words he wanted?

I forgive ya

Ennis bowed his head into the shirts and just let go of everything. Jack's heart broke for the man before him and he moved without thinking. He knelt onto the bed beside Ennis then shifted so he was kneeling behind him. Taking a deep breath and sending out a prayer, he wrapped his arms around the grieving man. He could not feel Ennis' warmth the way he would have before but he was not passing through him. He had finally made contact.

Ennis started as he felt the embrace but soon enough relaxed into it, leaning into the space in the air that was Jack and slowly quieting down. Jack leaned back and turned ever so slightly so that that they were lying on the bed, Ennis no doubt feeling nothing underneath him save the mattress but still aware of the strong arms surrounding him and of the whispers of s' alright in his ear. Jack truly wished he could hold Ennis forever but he knew that they couldn't keep this up for much longer. There were so many things that Jack wanted to say to him, but there was surely not enough time; there was never enough time for them. Jack quickly found that everything could be summed up again with what he had said after the shirts had been found last year, Ennis had not heard it then so he repeated it now for his benefit.

I ain't leavin'. Even if ya can't see me, bud, I'll always be here.

Ennis sniffed again and burrowed deeper into Jack's arms. He offered no reply and none was needed. The silence between them spoke volumes as each enjoyed the other's physical presence for what could be the final time before they were truly reunited. This promise would be upheld; nothing could come between them now.

"I love you," Ennis whispered. These were words that would have normally given Jack cause for pause for Ennis had never spoken these often. But he now found that he didn't need to hear them.

I know.

Ennis soon fell asleep in Jack's arms, and when he woke up the next morning he couldn't feel or hear him but knew that he wasn't far away.

"I'll keep goin', rodeo."

He put the whiskey bottles back in the fridge and then headed off to work. Jack remained in the empty trailer with his thoughts and the feel of Ennis in his arms

That's all I ask, cowboy.