I still can't think of anything. But I really want to keep that promise, and update slightly sooner. Of course, that shouldn't bother you one bit. Heh.
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
Shakes head to Sasuke & Itachi Music Video I love Itachi. He's so powerful. I think even if Sasuke gets his three wheel Sharingan, Itachi is just going to use his Mangekyou Sharingan. Yay. But doesn't Sasuke attempt to use the Mangekyou Sharingan by trying to kill Naruto? If so then…
EVIL SASUKE! HOW DARE YOU!
I don't know for sure. I'm only on like…122. ;;
A Dazed Conversation: A Neji and Sasuke Series
Chapter Four: Two Clowns (Kinda) And the Super-Mega-Pie
Sasuke cringed. The only day that Tsunade, Shizune, AND Sakura had to be out, was the only day where his training wounds went far beyond a quick recovery for the hospital. Which was where he was stuck now. He gazed at the blankness of the hospital walls and ceiling. This aggravated him greatly. Lee was hardworking, and he still was. Something Sasuke knew he wasn't. Years later it was still like this. He would never obtain strength this way. Training, training. Daily. Not hang around being useless in a hospital bed.
(A/N: This isn't taken in the when Lee beat the crap outta Sasuke's butt.)
'Isn't there any way to get me out of this torturous bed?' He thought.
"Room 212 down the hall."
"Thank you." Neji walked down the hall as the nurse had instructed him, scanning the walls for the numbers 212 and the name 'Uchiha Sasuke'. When he arrived, he asked himself why he was doing this again. Then he remembered:
"Neji-kun!" Neji turned. 'Haruno?'
Sakura hurried over to Neji.
"Neji-kun!" 'Ever since when did was -kun added to my name?' He thought.
"Can you do me a favor?"
A favor? Haruno has never askedhim for a favor.
"Why have to come to me?"
"Because Naruto is sick and you just happened to be passing by!"she panted.
"Why can you not do it yourself?" he asked. Sakura started to get mad. Or...IS mad.
"BECAUSE I HAVE TO LEAVE WITH TSUNADE-SAMA AND SHIZUNE-SAN FOR A PRIVATE MEETING OUTSIDE THE VILLAGE AND NO ONE ELSE IS AROUND AND NARUTO IS SICK AND YOUR STUPID MORNIC BONEHEADED IDIOTIC NUMBSKULL JUST HAPPENED TO BE PASSING BY!" She screeched.
Neji opened his eyes. (His eyes were closed while she was yelling.) "Fine. What is it that you need me to do?"
'FINALLY.' "Get this to Sasuke-kun." She took his hand and set a pair of scrolls in his hands.
"And if you DON'T do it, I'll warn you now by saying they're from Tsunade-sama and I."
"So, if I get lucky, and lose your scroll but keep Hokage-sama's, then it won't make a difference?" Sakura stared at Neji like he had fifteen eyes. 'That. Did not just come out of Hyuuga Neji's mouth.'
Neji winced. 'Damn it. Slipped out.' He turned and left towards to find Sasuke.
"Oh. Uh…YOU BETTER GET THAT TO HIM OR I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD!" Sakura called after him before she turned to catch up with Tsunade and Shizune.
Someone had told him Sasuke was in the hospital. And here he was, standing in front of his room. He knocked.
Sasuke broke his gaze. A visitor? Sakura? Naruto? No…probably a nurse.
"You know you don't have to knock to come in, nurse."
Neji winced. Did Sasuke just call him a nurse? How badly injured WAS he?
Neji opened the door.
"Yes. Nurse Hyuuga Neji is here to aid your wounds." Sasuke gaped. He flinched.
"Hyuuga…Neji?" He stared hard. "What are you doing here?" Neji held up the scrolls.
"I was instructed to hand you these scrolls from Sakura-chan and Hokage-sama."
Neji decided if he was going to be -kun for the rest of his life, he might as well add a -chan.
"Sakura? Tsunade-sama?" Neji nodded and handed him the scrolls. Sasuke took them and started reading.
"Hm." He set them down. "I appreciate you for bringing them to me." He said.
Neji paid no attention. He had his Byakugan on from looking for Sasuke earlier.
"You wounds aren't critical. How come you are still here?" He asked, pulling his Byakugan into retreat.
"Well, unfortunately, the hospital told me they WERE. And who are you to tell me if they're critical or not?" Neji stared.
"You're just itching to train, are you not?"
'Damn. Naruto was right. He may not label people much, but that doesn't mean he doesn't.'
"Hmpf."
"Well, you could consider sneaking out and tracking me down. Or would that be a bit too un-Uchiha for you, Uchiha…Sasuke." Neji smirked. He turned to the window, and leapt out.
"Un-Uchiha. Who does he think he is?" He got down from bed. He cringed and dropped to the floor.
'This pain is inevitable. I can't leave like this…' he paused. 'No. I will not cower.' He made his best effort to stand. He limped over to the windowsill. No trace of the blasted Hyuuga.
"Fine then. A challenge it is." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Sharingan!" the utterly familiar copy wheel appeared.
"Run, run as fast as you can, Neji." He leapt out of the window.
Pain singed through him with every step, but he was hot on the Hyuuga's trail now. He seemed very, very close. He stopped.
'An apartment? Didn't he live in the Hyuuga residence?' He leapt down painfully and walked over to the door. He was just about to knock, until the door swung open.
"Uchiha." Smirk. "I knew you'd follow along." he said.
"Well, Neji. Why would I do something Un-Uchiha-ish?" Sasuke grinned.
"Hmpf." Neji crossed his arms and stepped aside, walking inside as well. Sasuke knew it meant to come in, so he did just that and closed the door behind him. He was desperate to find a seat, but didn't show. He limped over to the couch and sat. Or, laid down.
Neji came back with some ointment.
"It seems though as they are critical to you, Uchiha Sasuke." Neji held the ointment.
"Says you." Neji handed the ointment to Sasuke, who took it and started to rub it over his wounds. The mere cuts and bruises immediately dispersed, but the pain still caused him to cringe. He flinched, falling back onto the couch.
"This," Neji took the ointment. "Is only temporal recover. It'll heal your skin. The actual cure is back at the Hyuuga residence." Neji helped took Sasuke's hand and helped him up.
"I was asked to run an errand not only for Haruno, but for my clan as well. Make yourself comfortable here, and we will get you up in seconds." Neji paused. "Minutes."
"Fine." Neji let go of Sasuke and started walking off into a room.
Meanwhile, Sasuke observed his surroundings. Traditional Hyuuga family markings and décor were noticeable in every direction. But that was the only thing that decorated Neji's apartment, as Sasuke noticed. It was almost as empty as his. In fact, it was.
Why was Neji living in an apartment anyways?
"You can turn your Sharingan back on." Sasuke turned and faced Neji.
"Why?"
"Because I'm not going to carry you." Neji disappeared.
"What the-?" Sasuke frowned. "Sharingan!" and left.
Tracking was slightly easier, now that the skin wounds had disappeared. But, the internal damage still existed, and it was a hell of a problem to Sasuke. It cut his speed more then one-half ½ unlike the three quarters ¾ like before.
"Curses…" Sasuke began to feel lightheaded. How far away was the stupid residence anyways?
Five minutes later…
'I can't…I can't take it any…more…' Sasuke blacked out.
"Heh."
Unknown to Sasuke, Neji had appeared and caught Sasuke before he fainted. He quickly helped him over to the rest of the trail. Since Sasuke was actually going in circles in the forest outside the residence.
'He has such a weak mind.'
(A/N: He did NOT carry him bridal style. More like how Kankuro carried Gaara. And for those who aren't that far in yet, he has one of Sasuke's arm around Neji's shoulder, and his other arm supporting Sasuke up. Nothing gay people, nothing gay.)
Sasuke struggled his heavy eyes open. The first thing he saw was…
"N-Neji?" Sasuke set the back of his hand on his forehead. Neji gave an intense stare for a moment, then, to both ofprodigy's surprise, he started to snicker.
"You know Uchiha, you really should check out your feet." he pointed and continued snickering. Sasuke anime glared. He sat up painfully and went to see what his feet looked like. His jaw dropped. Literally. He was speechless.
"Hi…" Neji waved a jar of ointment around in his face. "I'm Mr. Ointment. I'm can make your scratches, boo-boos, corns, and foot fungus go away in a snap!" He said in a mocking voice.
Sasuke anime glared at him again. He snatched the ointment, or, tried to.
"Hey!" He had both arms in the air with an attempt to reach for the ointment. Pretty soon, Sasuke was chasing Neji around the room, out the door, around the home, out the backyard, back into the backyard, up a tree, in his Hiashi's room, in Hanabi's room, in Hinata's room, and back to where they started.
When they came into Hinata's room, all Hinta could do was stare.
"N-Neji-Nii-san? What are you doing?" Since they were shinobis and ninjas and all, they ran like a blur. But then again, Hinata was one too, so she could tell. She was sitting on her bed, fixing the flowers she had just freshly picked.
"Hinata-sama. Please forgive me for barging into your room at this time." came Neji's CALM reply.
"HYUUGA NEJI! GIVE ME THAT!"
Hinata shook her head. "N-no, no. It's okay, Neji-nii-san."
"Thank you, Hinata-sama." and they left the room.
When they ended up running in circles around Hisashi, he didn't ask, but commented.
"Neji. Your guest seems very, very, hasty."
"Hai, Hiashi-sama. I agree."
"I'LL SHOW YOU HASTY NEJI HYUUGA!" Sasuke roared.
In Hanabi's room, it was an offer.
"Neji-nii-san, would you like my help by stopping Sasuke-san?"
"Iie, Hanabi-sama. I can handle it. Thank you for your offer."
"Anytime, Neji-nii-san."
"So, have you finally given up yet?" Neji asked when they were back in his room.
"Shut up damn it! I'll get that ointment from you no matter what!" Sasuke made illusion replications of himself.
"Hmpf." Neji smirked and struck the incoming one on the right. It was Sasuke. He flew back into Neji's wall.
"Now. Is it really THAT hard to get a simple ointment?" Neji teased.
Sasuke scowled. "Can you please give me that ointment?" he tried very hard to keep his tone down.
"Hmpf." Neji tossed the ointment to Sasuke. Sasuke caught it, much to his surprise.
"Took you long enough." He said.
Sasuke was exhausted. But not as much as he thought. He could not of been able to replicate himself, since he was in a situation where he could not use his chakra to use techniques.
"Wait…how could I have…"
"You know, Sasuke. For an Uchiha, you sure are dense." he said. Sasuke gave him a blank stare.
"You were treated before you woke up." Wow. That answered a lot.
"Then this is…" Sasuke looked at the ointment he was fighting so hard for.
"Yup. Just a simple ointment to fix your foot scratches. It's really swelled up. Can you tell?"
Sasuke stared at his feet. Neji was right. He quickly applied the ointment and felt a singe of relief tingle his body.
"There. You're all better." Sasuke tossed the ointment back to Neji.
"But if I was treated…wait…WHO treated me?" Sasuke feared an answer that may be coming.
"Don't get the wrong idea. I only helped you in here. The servants did the rest."
"Oh." Sasuke sighed of relief.
"You sure did go a long way for a little bottle of ointment, Uchiha." Neji left the room.
"Well, if you would of told me earlier…"
"Tell you what?"
"That I had to ask for the ointment."
"It's respect something you lack, Uchiha."
"Hmpf."
Neji smirked. "Rest here for a bit. I'll go tell everyone Hiashi-sama you are alright." Neji closed the door behind him as he left.
Sasuke lied down again on Neji's bed and stared at the ceiling. It wasn't blank this time, at least.
Sasuke heard a bang and a groan, but he ignored it. Staring at ceilings have been officially been added to taking long lone walks.
The door opened. Sasuke turned his head. Almost immediately, his whole face turned red and his eyes turned puny from amusement. He snickered and pointed.
"N-Neji…what happened!" He said between laughs.
Neji glared. He was covered in pie. Yes, pie.
"Shut up damn it. Hanabi-sama pulled a prank for fun with her friends." He grunted.
Sasuke fell on the floor laughing. Neji looked at him like he had three eyes with six arms. Sasuke looked at him with one eye, grabbing a towel nearby and tossing it, accidentally making it stick to his face. This only made Sasuke laugh more.
"Uchiha…Sasuke…" Neji grunted between his teeth.
Poor Sasuke was bellowing with laugher now. But finally, being the Uchiha Sasuke he was, he stood up and watched Neji wipe his face.
"You know, to think someone who has almost a three sixty degree 360° angle view, you wouldn't get hit. But that is just flat out hilarious." Sasuke laughed.
Neji threw the dirty pie smothered towel back at Sasuke, hitting him in the face. He smirked when Sasuke revealed his face to be smothered in pie. The towel slid off him, leaving nothing but a twitching Sasuke. It was Neji's turn to laugh now.
Neji regained control quickly, and threw out the towel.
"So. Are you going to plan revenge with me?" Sasuke looked surprise.
"What?"
"Come on Uchiha. You just laughed because of my pie covered face. You just chased me around the whole place just for nothing but a useless ointment. Don't hide it, joker man. I know who pulled off that trick at Naruto's last week." He smirked.
"Hmpf." Sasuke smirked. "Aah. I guess you aren't a Hyuuga Byakugan user for nothing, Neji."
"So? Is it a plan?"
"Duh. I've got an idea."
"Okay…here's what I consider…"
Hiashi's eyebrows furrowed in frustration.
"There is a thief; a traitor, among us. We will have to scavenge to see who has taken them." Someone had taken all the precious things of everyone from both the Branch Family, and the Head Family. Someone took Sasuke's headband as well. No one knew why though.
"They will be scolded, as their punishment, if they have a good explanation."
The parts of the family nodded, including Sasuke and Neji.
Sasuke and Neji left the crowd, watching everyone return to their everyday life, added to the fact of some people complaining for their belongings.
The pranksters exchanged looks and nodded, quickly leaping onto the ceiling of the residence, with a clear view of Hanabi's room. Hanabi was with her friends today, and they were playing around in her room. It was the only day, or time, that she didn't have to train.
A young girl was jumping on the bed, until she stopped.
"Hanabi-Chan! Hanabi-Chan! Why is your bed so hard?"
"Eh?" Hanabi walked over and leapt onto the bed, in a lying down position.
"Ow!" Hanabi bounced-er-leapt off since she couldn't bounce.
"What the-?" Hanabi quickly removed the covers and gasped. It was the family's treasures! All the lost items! 'What! How did they get there!' She thought.
"Oh no! I'm going! I don't want to get in trouble by your scary daddy Hanabi-Chan!"
"Yeah! Me too!"
"Yeah! See you later Hanab-Chan!"
"Later Hanabi-Chan!"
"Wait! Where are you going-"
SPLAT!
Hanabi stared. All of her friends, all five of them, were smothered in pie with a dozen doses of whip cream. They all screamed and ran out the door between you can say Hinata-is-an-evil-person, which she isn't.
"Nani!" Hanabi hurried over to the door and looked out. Thankfully no one was around. Then, unfortunately (To Hanabi of course.) Hiashi came in. He gave Hanabi a pitiful look. He frowned.
"Hanabi…why?"
"I…I…I didn't do anything father!"
"Please be truthful, Hanabi."
"No! I really did not do anything, father!"
"Hanabi…"
Hiashi scolded Hanabi for about fifteen minutes, before leaving her guilty and upset in her room.
Snickering was heard in the distance.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"Nani? Who could it be?" Hanabi hurried over to the door, and opened it.
MEGA SPLAT KER-SPLAT!
"GAH!" Neji and Sasuke together released a mega-ton-whipped-filling-cream-on-the-outside-and-inside-super-mega-pie! Just for Hanabi!
"Geh!" Neji and Sasuke quickly covered Hanabi with the Mega-pie container, ensuring no one was around and quickly leapt away, back on to the ceiling. They watched as Hiashi came in with surprise and slight disgust. Sasuke and Neji snickered and made their efforts to hold it in, quickly retreating back to Neji's room. Then, they held up a sign that said, "Surprise!" in big red Japanese letters and mysterious red English letters that on the bottom which was a bit unusual but they didn't care much.
"A success!" They exclaimed, both holding up two fingers as a victory sign.
And with that, was when they burst out laughing. They were doing what most people would refer to as "ROFL". Neji accidentally hit Sasuke with the sign so Sasuke hit him back. Then they laughed some more.
"My gosh that was hilarious!" Sasuke laughed.
"Hanabi-sama's face was priceless!"
And they laughed and laughed and laughed. Until Hiashi came in, wanting to give them back their things. He opened the door, wondering what was so funny. He had an idea of what happened.
Much to his surprise, the boys were outside sparring in the yard, just as he left them. Before and after the items had been stolen.
"Hm…maybe I was hallucinating…" He said to himself.
"Neji! Uchiha-kun!"
"Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke called back to him. "You can call me that!"
"Mm." He nodded. "Sasuke-kun! Neji! Come back!" Sasuke and Neji quickly came back.
"Hai, Hiashi-sama?" Neji asked.
"Here. I have come to return your belongings. I'm sorry about what happened, Sasuke-kun." He handed back their things.
"It's okay."
"Please stay for dinner?"
Sasuke gave him a surprised look. He looked an Neji, who winced and flinched at his sudden asking look at him. He turned back to Hiashi.
"Aah. I'll stay. Thank you." he said.
Hiashi smiled. "Of course." and walked away. When he left, Sasuke faced Neji.
"You don't want me to stay?"
"No, no. It's not that. I was just shocked that you'd ask me. I have no problem with that."
"Oh. Okay."
Silence…
Sasuke and Neji couldn't hold it in anymore. They burst out laughing, remembering the pie covered Hanabi.
Hinata looked down at them from the top floor like they were crazy.
'I…I wonder what made Neji-nii-san and Sasuke-san laugh so hard…'
Ohohen: Heh. Heh. Heh…Laughs nervously. Yeah. Um…right. Next chapter will be based on SakuraxSasuke slight. Kinda.
The scrolls were just an excuse for Neji to meet up with Sasuke. They have nothing to do with the actual story, so don't ask because I won't know the answer.
I figured since Neji visited Sasuke's house, that Sasuke visit Neji's house! D Am I brilliant or what? XD This story should end in the next two chapters.
The part where they hold up the sign is taken from episode 101 of Naruto. I thought that was hilarious. So no, it wasn't my idea. However, that filer episode is the best I've seen so far! D It was hilarious. "Maybe he has thick lips?" XD "Maybe he has buck teeth?" XDD It was hysterical. Naruto made Sasuke have side effects. O.O XD It was funny.
Sorry for the long chapter. I'll try to make them shorter next time. I don't think you guys like long chapters. Eh heh heh heh heh...;;Please review!