The memories of their faces were etched like pictures in his mind. The scars on his arms and hands testified to the fact that it was real and was not a dream. Turning to the wall, he pulled out his knife and threw it. The knife imbedded itself up to the hilt into the timber of the frame board. Drywall cracked. Stalking up to the wall he yanked the knife out of the wood. Drywall fell away in bits as the knife disconnected from the wall.
Contemplating the knife, he brought the tip to his skin. He slowly traced the scars along his arms, shallowly of course.
Schuldich would think that he was fine. Schuldich would not suspect a thing as long as he did not yell.
A rare smile graced the young man's lips as he drew the knife along the scars on the other arm.
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
They had been fighting with Weiss earlier that day. He was always the one sent to fight the group in hand to hand combat. Why did he have to fight them? Estet was the reason. Why? Why? Why had he joined them?
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
Why was he doing this? It wasn't to hear the screams of the people that were hurt. It wasn't the fact that he wanted revenge. No, the revenge he wanted could not come this way.
Growling he rolled over on the bed and graced the blank wall with his glare.
Why did he always taunt them? They were fun to tease, but what was the point? How had he become what he was?
With a solution set firmly in his mind, he got up, dressed and walked out the bedroom door.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Quietly he ran through the halls to his room. Thankfully, no one had been up. Crawford had no notion what was going on. Schuldich had not heard his thoughts.
Slipping into his room he locked the door. The knife he had taken from the kitchen was clutched in his hands. He leaned against the door so that he could calm his pounding heart. There was no other way to do this. That was when he saw one. The black feathers were falling off of the rotting wings. Letting out a strangled cry he turned away from the sight.
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I have no options left again
Quickly he pulled the sharp knife along the inside of his left forearm. Blood spurted from the wound. After dipping his fingers into the wound, he began to write on the wall. "I can no longer take seeing them. Good bye, Nagi," glistened on the wall and dripped blood.
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
He slashed the knife across his skin, in mimicry of the night ten years before, but this time there were even more cuts, deeper and deadlier.
He heard his door bang open. Nagi was framed in the doorway. He smiled at the boy. Schuldich and Crawford then made their appearance. Nagi was kneeling by his head.
"They can no longer torture me. I will not longer fight for a false revenge. Take up my promise and live." Smiling he closed his eyes and fell unconscious from blood loss.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But know I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Breaking the Habit
Tonight