DISCLAIMER: Dark Angel belongs to Cameron/Eglee and Fox. Not mine. No moolah being made off of this.

CHAPTER 3:

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." –David Borenstein-

"You are so dumb!" Max cried at herself, staring angrily at her own reflection. She cringed at what she saw. Her face was all splotchy and streaked with tears. Her nose was red, and her eyes were swollen. She had cried all the way home, not even the ride on her Ninja (her baby) had made her feel better.

But what was worse, was that she had not known why she was crying. She had just felt this sickening feeling that had made her want to throw up when Alec had told her about the cure. She had felt like the world was closing in on her, suffocating her. She couldn't place what that emotion was. Not until she had arrived at her apartment in TC.

FEAR. She had been scared. There were few times an X5 was ever really scared of anything. She was often scared for her life, but that was a different kind of fear. This was alien to her. And she couldn't really pinpoint the source of that fear.

"Stop it, Max. This is crazy. You should be happy." she lectured herself in the mirror.

So, why wasn't she? Why did she have this gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach?

She sighed and looked determinedly at the girl in the mirror. "You should be happy. You and Logan have been waiting for this moment for well over a year." She told her reflection. The girl in the mirror just smirked at her. Okay, so that pep talk didn't work. Think about Logan.

Logan. She pictured his sandy hair, his brilliant blue eyes, his slender, sensitive face, the angular jaw always covered with a fuzzy overgrowth. She smiled tenderly. Okay, so this tactic was working. Just keep thinking about Logan. She thought about all those times Logan had made her feel special, all those times he had stopped her world from getting too out of control, all those times that he had put her life into perspective, all those times that he had taught her to care.

This virus bitch is going down. She grinned. But that was promptly wiped off her face when she realized she'd have to go over to Alec again to actually get the package and test the product. Oh, damn. How could I be so stupid?

She steeled herself emotionally before knocking on his door. He opened it after what seemed like the hundredth knock. "What the hell took you so long?" she demanded.

He was looking a bit haggard and slightly out of it, his eyes were unfocused and his hair was a mess. "Max?" he asked incredulously.

"No, it's the tooth fairy," she replied sarcastically.

He shook his head, as if to clear his it, his eyes focusing. "What do you want?" He ran a hand through his already mussed hair, making some ends stick up in a way that just made her itch to smooth it down. Max, get a grip! sheberated herself.

"You have something that belongs to me." she replied boldly. Technically, the cure belonged to Alec, but it was meant for her.

She saw him stiffen slightly, his jaw clenching. "Right. The cure." He pushed the door back all the way and gestured for her to come in. She walked into his place. She'd never been in his place before. They had always met at HQ, on the Space Needle, or at Crash, always on neutral ground.

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." –Carl Jung-

She felt a slight sense of territorial satisfaction at being able to walk around his apartment, her fingers trailing lightly over the sparse furniture. She fingered a towel that was draped over a chair, still slightly damp, maybe from a shower earlier. She could smell his scent on it: he smelled of the outdoors, pine and citrus, slightly musky, overwhelmingly male. She hadn't realized that she had pulled the towel and inhaled his scent, until he was practically on top of her, he was standing so close.

"Max, what are you doing?" he asked, his voice soft and husky, his eyes darkening.

She gasped, startled. That sudden intake of breath had her breathing him in. His maleness: his unique blend of cologne, woodsiness, cat, and…Alec. She could feel herself reacting to his nearness, her skin flushing, her eyes dilating. It was like she had never noticed him until now. Oh God, I'm in trouble.

Alec's face was so close, his lips only inches from hers. "Max," he breathed, sending tingles up her spine. Then his lips touched hers in the barest of caresses. But that was all it took for them to instantaneously combust. He withdrew slightly, looking at her through hooded golden-green eyes.

This time, it was Max who leaned in. Pressing her lips fully against his soft ones, she moaned.

In the next instant, he was devouring her. His lips slanting over hers, his hands tugging at her hair, forcing her to an angle that gave him better access to her mouth. He plundered, his tongue mating with hers. And she was meeting him every step of the way, her arms snaking around his neck, drawing his head down to her. They both fought for mastery, one over the other, but neither one of them really gaining the upper hand, both of them commanding and surrendering to each other. He bit her lower lip, causing her to whimper in response. He growled, a low sound that rumbled in his chest, exciting to her sensitive ears. "Alec," she whispered, when he finally released her lips.

She should have come to her senses, but then she felt his soft, warm lips leaving butterfly soft kisses on the corner of her mouth, traveling ever so softly across her jaw, down the column of her throat…and she was lost again.

Alec was nipping her throat lightly, then her ear, then he was back to feasting on her lips. Max's legs were getting weaker, she leaned into him, inhaling his heady scent. Her soft body molded itself perfectly along the hard length of his. She indulged her earlier thoughts and ran her own fingers through his thick silky hair. She purred in satisfaction. She was burning, wanting, needing. This is where I belong. And suddenly, she realized just what she was doing. Her eyes snapped open.

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." -James Earl Jones-

For a moment in time, Alec was lost. He was lost in the heady sensation of kissing Max. She was responding to him in a way that made him burn, teeter at the edge of losing control. His heart was pounding in his ears. His mind was racing, trying to control his reaction to her whimpers and moans. He growled. She tasted so good. Mine. He promised silently, his arms tightening reflexively, possessively around her. He could feel her lean into him. He wanted to push her down to the ground and take her. Make good on his promise.

But then she stiffened. Her eyes snapped open and he knew he had lost her. She tore herself away from him and he didn't stop her. Lord knew he wanted to stop her, but he didn't.

There was an expression of complete and utter horror on her face that left him feeling cold. She covered her lips with her hands, as if the act itself could erase his kisses. "Oh, no," she moaned.

She took a step back, away from him. He just stood there, not moving, forcing his face into the Manticore mask of blankness. He forced his arms to hang loosely at his sides, to appear indifferent. He had to, because the look on Max's face was tearing him apart inside. He could only hold on to his pride. He forced a smile, a semblance of the smart-aleck that he was supposed to be. "I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to find out it shouldn't have happened," he said wryly.

Max's eyes widened. Then she nodded stiffly. He watched her transform herself from a shell-shocked to cool and composed. Bravo. he thought humorlessly, And Manticore scores again.

"I made a mistake." She said, her lips, still swollen from his kisses, forming the words and enunciating them clearly. "It won't happen again." she promised, her tone holding a finality that stomped on the pieces of his already shattered heart. He continued to smile, to act, to contain the anger and rage that was trying to boil into the surface.

He wanted to rage at her. How could you respond to me like that and call it a MISTAKE? But he held his peace. Instead, he shrugged coolly, "Fine by me."

"Good." she said, stiffly, equally coolly. It angered Alec to realize that just a few minutes before they were burning in each others arms. And now, they were as cold to each other as ice. He was so angry, he wanted to hurt her. To make her feel the pain that he was going through because of her rebuff. He spotted the package, still lying on the table. He sauntered over to it, as if he hadn't a care in the world. "Before you go, don't forget to take this with you this time." He said curtly.

Max swiped the package from his hand angrily. Then, just before she crossed the threshold, she turned and looked at him over her shoulder. "I'll kill you if you ever tell anyone about this." she whispered vehemently.

"Don't worry about that, sweetheart. It'll be like it never happened." He replied tersely, when all he wanted to say was, Stay.

She left without another word, slamming his apartment door behind her. Alec sagged onto a chair. It was hard work keeping all of his emotions inside. He could still feel her in his arms, could still taste her on his lips. Hell, her scent still hung in the air. Not to mention that he was still painfully aroused. "Enough, Alec." he told himself. "It has to be enough. She was never yours." He rubbed a hand wearily over his face.

He had never wanted anyone so badly in his life. It had lasted less than five minutes, he knew. But he had never fought so hard to maintain his control and composure. Something about Max just pushed all the right buttons in him. And all the damn wrong ones. He thought wryly, sadly.

"I need a drink," he muttered to himself. "And some." He stood up, grabbed his leather jacket, and left his apartment, slamming the door behind him. He intended to drown his sorrows in more than one kind of indulgence tonight. Maybe then, he could erase the look of dismay on Max's face when she'd realized she'd been kissing him.