No other words passed between them that night in the storm. After an eternity of silence, Inuyasha shut his eyes and rested his head against his arms. Sango sat in the darkness for a long time, her heart pounding a frantic rhythm. Although she wasn't completely sure why she was so flustered, she had a nagging feeling that, for the briefest of moments, the young woman buried deep in her heart had somehow overpowered the demon hunter that also dwelt there. By and by her usual self regained the upper hand, and after a time her calm returned. Perhaps it was because her panic had worn her out, but soon Sango's vision grew soft and she drifted off to sleep.
*****
Inuyasha perched in a tree, watching the sunset wash the horizon in its warm light. He was exhausted. The group had been traveling since the first light of morning, and he had seen precious little sleep the previous night. The day's journey had been a chore if ever there was one, and Inuyasha relished the opportunity to finally give his sore legs a rest.
What he did not relish, however, was his mind's curious habit of drifting back to Sango whenever he let it wander. If not the most sensitive man in the world, he was nonetheless quite perceptive, and he knew something had happened last night regardless of whether or not he knew what it was. He had an inkling of what it might have been, but it didn't make any sense. He had seen something in her eyes while she looked at him, and to him it seemed very much as if she was seeing him as something other than a simple traveling companion. What made even less sense was that, but for a moment, he thought he had seen her the same way. That simply would not do.
He was already a man of two loves, and even if he could accept that situation as a matter of fate which was working hard to rectify, he simply could not justify adding another woman to his heart, even if it were only in passing. Besides, what reason did he have to even entertain the idea of an infatuation with Sango? A long look in the middle of the night? A talk by the lake about loving other women?
Stupid, he thought, shaking his head in self-disgust. What am I even thinking about this for? Nothing happened.
Although he was not by nature a man given to fleeing from uncomfortable situations, he had nonetheless found himself avoiding his companions all day, mostly under the guise of "scouting ahead". He felt better away from Sango's gaze. Not to mention Kagome's. He couldn't quite make himself look at Kagome, even though he was irritated at himself for feeling guilty. He hadn't even done anything, just looked.
"Just looked," he repeated to himself, watching the last rays of sunlight disappear beyond the horizon.
*****
"It appears that something is troubling Inuyasha," Miroku stated matter-of-factly as he pitched a handful of twigs into the campfire. "He seems even more antisocial than usual today."
Kagome shook her head glumly. The same words had been perched on her lips for hours. Inuyasha had been extra aloof ever since they broke camp in the morning, and as the day wore on her annoyance had given way to worry. She was used to Inuyasha being rude, not avoiding her completely.
"I wonder if I did something," she said at last, shooing Kirara from her lap and resting her chin in her hands.
"Maybe he's still mad about holding up the shelter all night in the rain," Shippo chimed in.
Miroku frowned and jabbed at the fire with a stick. His brow was furrowed in thought.
"Inuyasha is not one to withhold his feelings. He's never had any problem voicing his displeasure with any of us before."
Kagome nodded, her softly sculpted face dark with concern. Her mind spun with possible explanations, but few of them seemed to add up to anything. In the time she had known Inuyasha, she had become aware of only one dilemma about which he was prone to keep to himself. Her mind fixed on that particular possibility, and she mulled over it in silence for several minutes.
"Could Kikyo have something to do with it?" Kagome said at last, practically spitting Kikyo's name. "She's just about the only thing that Inuyasha won't talk to us about."
"That may very well be the case," Miroku said, his voice betraying the unease that his face did not. "If that's true then we must be on our guard. If Kikyo has contacted Inuyasha again, or vice versa, we can expect serious trouble."
An icy finger ran down Kagome's spine. Ghost, golem, or whatever she may be, Kikyo terrified her in a way few of the other entities she had encountered could match. The very idea that in some way that creature was a part of herself was enough to chill her to the bone. Even more disturbing was the very real belief, lodged in her heart like a sharpened icicle, that Inuyasha's love for his lost paramour was still very fresh despite the alien incarnation that she had taken. It certainly seemed possible enough. After all, who wouldn't want to rekindle a love lost for half a century?
Though she rarely spoke of it, she had worried about such things many times since that fateful night in the forest so long ago. She remembered all too well the terrible emptiness that came with watching Inuyasha and Kikyo in one another's arms. Although she had watched that scene play out in her mind's eye so many times that it no longer cut her as deeply as it once did, she also knew well enough that she wasn't prepared to bear witness to another such display.
There's a thought to keep you awake at night, Kagome thought bitterly, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging herself. Inuyasha and Kikyo, sitting in a tree…
*****
Sango gazed solemnly at her companions as they conversed around the fire. Although she had refrained from joining them this evening, instead opting to rest against a tree under the guise of standing watch, she knew they were talking about Inuyasha. Through her eavesdropping she had gleaned enough to know that they suspected that Kikyo lay at the heart of Inuyasha's troubles. While that may have been true enough, Sango thought it more likely that it was she was the one responsible for Inuyasha's evasive behavior. Sango sighed unhappily and leaned back against the tree. Under ordinary circumstances there were few things she enjoyed more than sitting in the grass on a warm summer evening, but tonight she couldn't find any pleasure in it.
She had made Inuyasha uncomfortable, she knew that much. Moreover, she had given all of her companions cause for false concern about their friend's well-being. She supposed that their fears could be allayed if she simply explained to them what had happened, but that wasn't a course of action she was prepared to take. In their months together she and Kagome had grown very close, and she feared what her small betrayal might do to their friendship.
Betrayal?
Sango pulled a handful of grass from the soil and idly tossed it into the air, watching its manic dance as it raced back to the earth. She didn't know why she felt so strongly about all this. She supposed that most other people wouldn't feel like some sort of traitor for having a passing thought about the lover of an acquaintance.
You know its not in passing. You've been thinking about him all day.
Sango frowned. The truth was uncomfortable even when it came from herself. She had been longing to talk to Inuyasha all afternoon and was a little disappointed that he had been avoiding her. She needed to talk to him eventually, just to clear things up about last night. Not in any deep way, of course.
I just want to let him know why I was staring.
Her next thought came unbidden, and she winced to herself at its candidness.
And to ask why he noticed.
For a few long seconds Sango really thought she might cry. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She didn't want feelings for Inuyasha. Inuyasha was already in love more deeply than she had even read about. It simply wasn't right to complicate things for him any more than they already were. Besides, it wasn't as if she stood a chance against competition like Kagome, or even Kikyo, anyway.
When did it become a competition? What are you thinking?
Before she could answer herself, she felt a heavy hand fall on her shoulder. She looked up with a start and found Inuyasha standing beside her.
"Let's return to camp," he said sternly. "There are strange scents in the air tonight and we should stay close to the others."
Sango was surprised at how sharply her heart sank when she realized that tthis was all he had to say to her. She looked up at him wordlessly and nodded. Then something strange happened. He smiled at her. Not his typical smirk, but a true honest smile. His soft amber eyes seemed to glow with an inner warmth. She smiled back for a long moment, then looked away as she felt her eyes go inexplicably misty.
"Let's go Sango," Inuyasha said, starting off towards the campfire. Just before his hand slipped away from her, and without even realizing it, Inuyasha gave her shoulder the slightest squeeze.
Sango thought her heart was beating just a little faster than usual as she followed him back to camp.