Setting: AU based around the universe of 'What If... Wolverine had Married Mariko' (What If Vol. 1, issue 43). It is also influenced and draws on elements of the first issue of Claremont's X-Men Forever, and like that is set around the time when the original five ended their version of X-Factor and returned to the X-Men. Like X-Men Forever it takes place after the fall of Asteroid M and the possible death of Magneto. There won't be any Gold or Blue teams, just Cyclops and Storm as joint team leaders, though that won't really matter here. Another important aspect of the set-up of this AU is that Madelyne Pryor isn't a clone of Jean Grey here. As originally conceived they just look alike, and Scott meant it when he said he loved and married her for herself. Like X-Men Forever, Nathan isn't, or doesn't become, Cable, and he wasn't infected by Apocalypse with the techno-organic virus. They came down as a family when Jean was found, and Scott and Maddy have remained happily married.
Genre: Romance/Adventure
Pairing: Logan/Jean
Rating: M (was T, but decided for safety sake to raise it to M)
More Info:
Logan/Jean in a world based of the What If... Wolverine had Married Mariko?, together with elements from the first issue of Claremont's X-Men Forever. The triangle will not be a factor in this story, being something purely of the past in how the story is set up. I like to explore the potential of Logan/Jean, just not the drama of the triangle when it gets dragged out. I think when it goes on too long it hurts all three characters.
I imagine something like this would be fairly simple to do for Scott/Jean fans as well (assuming something like that hasn't already been done). They could explore a story where Jean never gets kidnapped alongside Logan and Sean (Banshee) by Lang and so never needs to fly the shuttle and meets Phoenix (perhaps Wolvie dies on re-entry, and so would be completely removed from the equation). Or Jean could be depowered after Dark Phoenix and be Jean herself rather than Phoenix, rather than die, and have Scott and her leave and get married (Claremont's original intention). Maybe she'd get her powers back later, or finally maybe Maddy could really could be Jean's reincarnation, as Scott originally thought. Hell, you could use What If... Wolverine became an Agent of SHIELD, where it turns out everything is better if Logan joined SHIELD instead of the X-Men (ends up leader of SHIELD, manages to protect the X-Men, uses his influence to thawt Lang's attempt to rebuild the sentinels, so no Phoenix, and has Senator Kelly discredited, so no Days of Future Past, and prevents/overturns many anti-mutant bills so everything is pretty rosy there, and never really meets Jean. I'm not a enough of a Cyclops fan to attempt any of those, but if Scott/Jean fans read this (unlikely given the pairing I admit ;-) ), maybe you'd want to try it, or something similar.
But onto this story:
A quick summary of that What If that will matter here. In this reality, Mastermind didn't manipulate Mariko's mind, so that she rejected Logan on their wedding day and took Clan Yashida deeper into criminal dealings (this was all part of Mastermind's rather petty revenge against the X-Men for what happened during Dark Phoenix). Instead as in the What If they get married. Logan leaves the X-Men and becomes her champion as Mariko leads Clan Yashida and attempts to deliver the clan from the criminal connections her father Shingen had left it in. This leads them into a war against Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin, who had taken control the Yakuza and wanted Clan Yashida, their standing and political connections for himself. Keniuchio Harada (the Silver Samurai) , Mariko's half-brother, seemingly joined them against Fisk, as did Shiro Yoshida (Sunfire), Mariko's cousin. Eventually they drove Fisk to near defeat, where he challenged Logan to single combat to decide matters. Logan wins, and that should have seen Yashida freed. But, at Fisk's command, Harada, always secretly in Fisk's service, killed Mariko. Harada and Fisk are killed, and Logan gives the Honour Sword of Clan Yashida and it's rule over to Yoshida, and returned to the X-Men in grief.
Another important aspect in this reality is, as mentioned above, Madelyne Pryor isn't Jean clone here, and Scott really does marry Maddy for herself (and not because she reminds him of Jean Grey). As a result Scott doesn't suddenly become an a-hole who ups and abandons his wife and son when he learns Jean's alive, never contacts them again, doesn't tell Jean about them, and only returns when Jean finds out and insists he should. I know it was all said to be Sinister's influence as a saving throw to rescue Scott's character from the disaster editorial meddling put it in (since of course, they wanted him and Jean back together, no matter what it did to his character now he was married with a family), but it's rather curious that Scott seemed perfectly able to resist Sinister's influence otherwise.
Anyway, that doesn't happen here. Maddy isn't some Sinister project, Scott doesn't leave her or Nathan, and they go as a family to meet Jean. Maddy and Nathan stay with Scott as he formed X-Factor with Jean, Warren, Bobby and Hank. Despite initial difficulties and attractions, Scott remains faithful to Maddy, and Jean and he move on. Another result of this is that Maddy never gets driven insane and falls prey to demonic influence to become the Goblin Queen, and she also doesn't have a element of the Phoenix Force in her.
That part of Inferno doesn't happen. As a result, Jean doesn't receive either Maddy's memories, nor the memories of Phoenix Jean. Currently she is as she was going into Inferno. Jean only remembers up till the point she made her agreement with the Phoenix Entity and was placed in a cocoon at the bottom of Jamaica Bay to recover from radiation poisoning whilst the Phoenix duplicated her and assumed her identity. When the original five X-Men return to the X-Men fold, Maddy and Nathan join Scott, and they live in a suite together at the Xavier mansion.
I guess this is my bit to give Maddy a happy ending at least somewhere. After all before she went mad she gave her life in Dallas to save the world once alongside the X-Men. Her character deserved better than it got in the comics. So did Scott really, in terms of how Marvel butchered his character there.
With that, two important scenes between Logan and Jean play out a little different here. Since Logan has the effects of Mariko's death weighing on him, and neither he, nor the X-Men, are under demonic influence here, he doesn't kiss Jean here as in the original Inferno (what does happen gets detailed below). The moment between Logan and Jean in Genosha during the X-tinction Agenda is very similar, but has key differences and will assume a larger importance for this story. In the X-Factor comic where this scene takes place, Logan is seen to be dying. Then in Uncanny X-Men when both X-Men and X-Factor are brought to trial, he's battered but no longer at death's door. Probably a continuity error, but I attempt to provide an explination for it below.
This bit below was going to be included within the chapter below, but it made it too unwieldy so I'm giving a rundown of the events here.
One thing I am importing from X-Men Forever is Fabian Cortez using his power on Logan. It ends up producing a strange effect when Kitty tries to phase Logan out of his hold. Though here I don't see Cortez being as strong he was depicted in that first issue, as I don't remember him ever being that kind of powerhouse as to fight the X-Men singlehandedly in the original comics.
Anyway it happens in a battle with the remaining Acolytes rather than just Cortez himself. As in that comic though, Cortez caught hold of Logan, immobilised as Cortez used his ability to overcharge Logan's healing factor to the max, sending it haywire. In the Forever reality this effect if sustained would cause a strain on a mutant's body effectively killing them. Kitty Pryde, as in X-Men Forever, attempted to intervene and phase Logan out of Cortez's hold. Instead, making contact, Kitty phased into Logan's wrists, and her power is sent haywire as well, bright blue energy flaring around the two X-Men and Cortez, as Kitty's and Logan's powers merge and fuse for a moment.
In this version, when Jean strikes Cortez to free Kitty and Logan, the impact of the psi-blast kills him.
The end result of Kitty and Logan's merger, altered and evolved their powers in new directions. It lead to Kitty inheriting two of Logan's middle adamantium claws, as in X-Men Forever, but in both wrists. The muscular and skeletal structure in her forearms and wrists had changed to accommodate them, as well as two other bone claws either side that have grown and appeared either side. These retractable claws spring free and withdrew in a manner similar to how Logan used his own, apart from the fact that Kitty instinctively uses her phasing ability to allow the claws passage through her wrists and hands without cutting their way free as they do with Logan. Her phasing ability had been altered so it has now granted her a healing factor similar to Logan, though it doesn't function when phased. Kitty has also gained his hyper-keen senses and enhanced physical abilities, as well as new feral instincts. Again, all largely similar to X-Men Forever.
At the same time, unlike X-Forever, this merger had an effect on Logan as well. Influenced by Wolverine: The End, where we meet a brother of Logan's who has the same powers as Logan's, which have been 'evolved' to now have some form of phasing ability, it seemed logical based on that that such a merger would have a similar 'evolving' effect on Wolvie.
So Logan's healing factor had be altered. The merger and Cortez effect has repaired the damage his healing factor suffered at the hands of Donald Pierce and the Reavers, and produced an new 'evolved' phasing effect. As with is brother from that universe, when phasing, Logan becomes a luminous pale-white, ghostly figure with glowing red eyes. As a balance, his healing factor, like Kitty's, doesn't really function when he's phased. He also now had only two adamantium claws left on either hand, the middle now replaced with a bone claw in the middle.
Sorry for so much background, but that's everything that has changed from normal continuity leading into this story. One last thing to note is, while I might draw from stories, events and characters that take place chronologically after the events of the fall of Asteroid M, none of them necessarily happen in this universe (this also includes revelations about character's pasts, in particular Wolverine's, as some aspects in this story are going to be quite different and follow and develop aspects of a discarded earlier idea that never came to be due to later story decisions/revelations).
Also the years involved here are completely guesswork. Thanks to the elastic nature of 'Marvel Time' who knows how long there really was between any of these events. In Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 215, taking place just after the Mutant Massacre, the events on the Moon at the end of Dark Phoenix are said to have happened 'years ago'. So who knows. One way to judge it I guess would be to use Kitty Pryde's age at any point in comic continuity (since she is thirteen during the Dark Phoenix events). Assuming we know that lol.
With all that (sorry it was involved) I hope you enjoy the actual chapter
.Chapter 1
Jean looked out from her bay window across the Xavier Institute grounds, and saw Scott and Maddie walking together. Maddy leaned contentedly into Scott, his arm wrapped around her, their boy Nathan sleeping securely in her arms as the three returned from a family outing to their suite in the mansion, radiating familiar bliss and joy.
Jean smiled, happy for them all, though seeing moments like this still held that slight bittersweet edge of lost possibilities for her. It wasn't that Jean was resentful at their happiness, it had been over two years since her 'return' and she'd gotten to a place where she could just be happy for one of her oldest friends. Whatever else they had once been to each other, Scott and she would remain ever that.
It wasn't even that she disliked Madelyne. In fact Jean liked her and the two had even managed to find their way into a good friendship despite the awkwardness, to say the least, of how their relationship began.
It was just one of those moments when Jean saw in their marriage and the life they had together with their son something of the life Scott and she might have had. Where their life might have gone, if it hadn't have been for the Phoenix.
Thanks to that Entity, and her agreement with it to save the lives of her friends and teammates, she had been left in suspended animation in a cocoon of energy they had called the Phoenix Egg at the bottom of Jamaica Bay. The Phoenix had created a duplicate body to her own, as her own body had been too damaged by radiation poisoning to house it's immense power back then. So she'd been left alone, like sleeping beauty, whilst the Phoenix assumed her life in her stead.
And according to Scott it recreated itself as her so completely it had thought it was her.
Jean had a dim, dream-like sense whilst in her death-like sleep within her cocoon of the Phoenix seeking to bond with her once again, but had refused the darkness she had sensed within it. That had been after the Hellfire Club had managed to corrupt her Phoenix duplicate into becoming Dark Phoenix, an event leading to the death of whole world, and the ending of a civilization of over five billion people.
Jean was glad in some ways that it hadn't really been her with the power of the Phoenix. After all, if the Entity had really duplicated her so perfectly, would she not have done exactly the same things, reacted exactly the same ways.
Would the death of billions be on her hands instead?
Jean shuddered for a moment. She'd never know, and hoped she never have to find out. As far as she knew, the Phoenix, despite the obvious fears of Scott and the others on her return, had shown no signs of returning, her rejection of the Entity seemed final.
But, it was also Phoenix Jean where the relationship that she and Scott had had become truly serious. With it or her, Scott had developed the personal psychic bond. With her he was going to make a life together. And it was with her Scott had fallen so deeply in love, before after her death eventually managing to move on and find Maddy.
All of that happening whist Jean was left, ripped out of her life, at the bottom of Jamaica Bay.
It had taken her some time to comes to terms with it all after the Avengers found her and she had first returned back into the world.
When Hank, Warren, Bobby and Scott had shown up, familiar faces Jean had been so happy to see, Scott came in with a wife and new son in tow. It had been such a shock, even more so as she and Maddy looked so alike. It had been like staring into a strange mirror of a life that should have been hers, but wasn't.
It had taken Jean a long time to really accept it, how the world and everyone else had moved on, yet she had been stuck in what was for them years ago. Even her relationship with Scott had been only in it's early days compared to what he remembered. Scott remembering a depth of love with Phoenix that had never been allowed to develop between them.
Those first couple of months had been tough on all them, Jean, Scott and Maddy together.
Jean knew that Maddy, strong woman though she was, had been terrified she might lose Scott to Jean. However, Maddy had chosen to trust him, to have faith in what they had together.
Maddy had agreed to move to New York with Scott, recognising his need to step out of retirement as Cyclops once more. So they had joined Jean and the other original X-Men in forming X-Factor, along with their son, and she'd allowed Jean and Scott their times alone together to talk things out, believing Scott would always choose to stay with her.
And as it had turned out, Maddy had been right. Though Jean's return had been almost as much an emotional shock to him as it was to Jean herself, returning to find everything so different. In the end it was clear just how much in love with Madelyne he was.
As Jean had talked with Scott, learning about everything that had happened between him and Phoenix Jean, and what had come after, where life had gone in her absence, Jean saw it was Maddy that had drawn him out of the depths of his grief over the loss of her Phoenix self.
Scott had initially been increasingly obsessed with the idea Maddy was the reincarnation of Jean, or rather Phoenix Jean. But Maddy's hurt at his suspicions, and her near death during an altercation with the mutant Mastermind, lead Scott to recognise he loved Maddy for herself and finally move on from Jean, leading to their marriage and his then retirement from the X-Men.
Jean and Scott also increasingly realised through those discussions that the woman Scott had come to love so deeply and grieve over, until finally with Maddy he'd been able to move on, hadn't ultimately been Jean herself, but rather Phoenix Jean.
Despite the pull of the old feelings, Scott's heart remained Madelyne's now.
It had been a hard thing for Jean accept, the full extent of what Phoenix, intentionally or not, had taken from her. Jean couldn't begrudge Scott the life he'd made with Maddy, but in those early months Jean had seen in them all the hopes for the future with Scott she's once entertained herself.
Even the love she had hoped to find with Scott the Phoenix had taken instead. Just when the two of them were on the cusp of becoming truly serious, of moving past the 'high school sweethearts' phase into something real, Phoenix had happened.
And Phoenix took the life Jean had been about to plunge into, only to go mad and die on Scott.
Jean couldn't even hate Maddy. She was a good person, and Jean found herself liking her despite everything.
Maddy could hardly be blamed for what had happened to Jean, or that Scott had come to love her after losing Phoenix Jean. And Jean couldn't be sure she could ever have been as brave as Maddy had been, trusting Scott with an old flame like Maddy had done.
And now, after two years together, they had both become firm friends. Jean smiled again, now without any bittersweet feelings, as she looked at the young family heading back to the mansion. Life had taken much from her, paths Jean might once have walked. But she had kept much, and gained much besides, friendship and family old and new.
If there was anyone to blame for it all, it was the Phoenix. For a long time Jean had struggled with her resentment for what that Entity had done, what it had stolen from her.
Yet in the end, the Phoenix had been responding to Jean's plea for help in the first place, and hadn't intended what would happen. It had only intended to duplicate Jean long enough until Jean could be made strong enough to be a vessel for the Phoenix. But it had become lost in the duplicate version of her it had created.
In the end, no one was to blame for what had happened. It just was one of those things that happened to people like the X-Men.
If there had been one blessing in it all, was that though Jean's feelings for Scott had been strong, they hadn't yet become the love it would have become, the love he'd known with her Phoenix replacement. And so, although it had been tough, Jean had over the months that followed, been able to come to terms with everything that had happened, and move on from Scott.
She wasn't sure she could have done, if she had lived the life her Phoenix duplicate had. But she had made it through.
Just then, Jean heard the roar of a bike's engine thundering to life, breaking the redhead out of her musing. She turned to see the familiar sight of Logan tearing down the path of the Xavier Institute on his Harley towards yet another all-nighter excursion.
Avoiding her again.
Logan, Jean called out telepathically, beginning to get a little frustrated with it.
Sorry Red, Logan replied, talk later.
Whenever that would be, Jean sighed as the Canadian mutant pulled out of the mansion grounds onto the main road.
She understood that he was dealing with allot of issues recently but he kept everyone at a distance, despite those who wanted to help. Even Kurt, Kitty and Jubliee had a hard time getting him to open up much outside of anything to do with X-Men business.
It had been that way Jean gathered since his late wife's tragic death.
Yet something else that had happened in her absence. Logan had met, fallen in love, married and lost his late wife Mariko Yashida all while Jean was sleeping away beneath Jamaica Bay.
These days, Logan wasn't anything like he had been in the early days, all wild and butting heads with Scott. If anything Logan operated like a perfect soldier when he was out on missions, all business and no problems following orders anymore, not having any issues with either Scott or Ororo's leadership.
Ororo Jean could understand. Until Charles' return, the two of them had held the X-Men together alone through some of the most difficult times, the bonds of friendship and trust between the two as a result deep and unbreakable. But even with Scott Logan had no issues anymore.
If anything, Betsy, Remy and Rogue were more likely to give Scott issues than Logan now.
It was outside that. Logan barely took part in anything social with the team, no games or meals, no gatherings. He'd always been more of a loner, but he'd still joined in often, but now almost never.
Yet Jean knew that wasn't the main reason he was avoiding her now. It was rather about everything that had come to ahead between them a couple of days ago.
The irony of it all this, Jean reflected, is that she had left this very mansion back when Logan had first joined the X-Men and asked Scott to come with her, because of her reaction to him.
It had been an attraction so immediate, a pull so magnetic and strong like Jean had never felt before.
Logan's passion for her had been so powerful and elemental it had shaken her with it's intensity. And what had frightened Jean the most back then was the passion and desire that rose up within her in response to his smouldering eyes. Jean had felt an instant connection, something deep, wild and primal, and it shook her. It was nothing like she's experienced with Scott or Warren, and she didn't know where it would lead her. It was so different to anything she had felt before, and something deep inside her wanted to leap into that unknown.
But, frightened of what she had seen in herself, of the powerful feelings the new X-Man stirred within her, Jean had attempted to flee and build the life she had hoped for with Scott, while her heart could still remain loyal to the feelings she had for Scott.
So Jean left and had attempted to claim the future she'd envisioned with him. But Scott had remained, loyal as ever to Xavier's dream, and she'd never been able to ever truly stay away from it, and found herself brought back into the X-Men fold.
And so had lost that future anyway.
And now, it was Logan that consumed so much of Jean's thoughts of late.
The fear over the intensity of passion he stirred within her had long since disappeared with everything that had happened to her. The life she had once hoped for had ended with Phoenix.
To all intents and purposes she had died to the world the day it had turned up.
And coming back to a world and people who had all moved on without her, and adjusting to it, Jean had changed. Become older and wiser, and gained a better understanding of herself.
Jean had chosen back then to re-join the X-Men, and not just because of Scott. She had decided on her return to push for X-Factor to be created. She wanted this life, always had. For all it's dangers Jean wanted the X-Man life, the cause, the adventure and excitement, all of it. It wasn't that she didn't want marriage and family, she did, deeply, but Jean also wanted this.
So now, the passion and attraction didn't frighten her at all anymore, nor did the feelings it evoked within her. Now such a passion and attraction felt not only intoxicating, but comforting. Fierce and primal, but also warm and protective. And though Jean didn't know where it would lead them if they took a chance on it, she did know it would be filled with them.
Jean had no doubt now if she took the plunge he would be waiting there to catch her, faithful as ever.
Now, her heart was also was no longer conflicted, it longer belonged to Scott. The feelings she'd always restrained back before her long sleep, had become increasingly free over the last two years to blossom uninhibited, flourishing now into full bloom.
What Jean had felt burning in his cobalt blue eyes whenever they had landed on her, or had felt whenever she'd touched his mind, her heart was now free to return in full.
Towards the end, Jean had known he'd backed off once her choice for Scott had become obvious, and had began to attempt to move on. Jean knew that after she had gone, and even more so after Phoenix Jean had died, he finally had with the Lady Mariko Yashida.
But the minute Jean had locked eyes with him again, more than two years after his wife's death, even then without her telepathy, Jean had seen those old feelings flare back to life within those piercing eyes again.
Now, her heart freed, the passion and love had blazed to life unrestrained within her, and Jean had since then fallen desperately in love with Logan.
Jean had began to realise the depth of her feelings the day she and X-Factor had caught the news of the X-Men's supposed demise, in battle with a mystic entity known as the Adversary. Jean remembered the depth of desolation she'd felt as she'd watched the battle play out in Dallas thanks to the news crew under reporter Neal Conan that joined them and Freedom Force as reality and time under the power of the Adversary became distorted, jumbled elements of different times and places all converging at Eagle Plaza.
Jean had watched Logan, fierce as ever in battle, displaying a control and calm she hadn't known from the wild man he'd been in the days she'd known him as he'd lead the X-Men in Ororo's absence.
Then the final moment, Ororo having returned with Forge, where to truly defeat the Adversary for good Forge had to cast a spell to close the great gate he'd opened using the spirits of his slain fellow war buddies with the soulforce freely given by the X-Men.
Jean had watched them transformed into beings of pure energy, gathered into a single mass, like a miniature star, hurled at the Adversary, who became bound for an age, the gate closed.
And the X-Men were dead.
Jean would learn later they had died and been reborn under the goddess Roma's power. But then it had seemed to X-Factor as if the X-Men had died for good.
Jean had felt intense grief at the loss of so many she loved that day. Alex, Scott's brother, Ororo whom she'd come to love as a sister, gentle Piotr, but Jean was shocked by the depth of desolation she felt at the knowledge Logan was dead.
That Jean would never see him again, was a thought she couldn't really comprehend.
It was then, Jean had begun to realise just how deeply her feelings for Logan ran.
X-Factor had gone there, and Jean had desperately hoped to find what they'd seen on the news wasn't true, but everything confirmed it was. For months Jean had felt lost, throwing herself into her work, alongside Scott grieving for his lost brother.
Then Jean and X-Factor had come face to face with the X-Men they thought dead in an assault on Mr Sinister's base. X-Factor had been chasing after Scott and Maddy's kidnapped son, whilst the X-Men had been seeking the Marauder base for some time, both in response to the massacre of the Morlocks and to rescue Lorna, then possessed by the Marauder Malice.
Jean had stared dumbfounded, seeing everyone she had grieved for alive and well. This had been followed by a desperate joy at seeing all of them alive. But the relief Jean had felt at seeing Logan alive and well left her speechless.
Jean had felt as if a deep weight had been lifted from her chest.
When Jean had seen mirrored in his blue eyes the same disbelief, relief and hope, and could see the feelings Jean had never dared to acknowledge before flare back to life within his eyes, burning into her with their smouldering heat, pinning her in place, Jean's heart felt as though it was about to explode with joy and an emotion she wasn't prepared to name then.
The next moment Logan had leapt forward and pulled her into his warm, solid chest, and Jean found herself cocooned, secure, within his powerful embrace. For a moment Jean forgot all else, arms instinctively wrapped around his chest in return, as Logan whispering her name like a prayer, and lost herself in that perfect moment.
Then he had pulled back, and his eyes locking with hers once again. Jean's breath caught and she had felt tears gather in her eyes at the intensity of emotions playing behind his cobalt blue. Her lips had parted unbidden in anticipation as he began to lean in, seemingly about to kiss her.
Then he suddenly stopped, as though Logan realized where he was, as a look of guilt and fear flashed across his eyes, Then Logan suddenly dropped her as though she had scorched him, and stepped back, mumbling some apology.
Jean had felt bereft and hurt, but had no time to address it as she had found herself caught up in Ororo's arms, and was then passed between the X-Men who remembered her, and further away from the silent Logan.
Soon it all became caught up in the wider meeting as X-Factor and Maddy came to terms with the fact the X-Men were still alive and well.
Then, they all had too much to deal with, battling Marauders, dealing with the effects of the hordes of Limbo and the demon N'astirh assaulting Manhattan. Then Sinister himself, killed by Scott in an unleashed fury of concussive force against the horrid being that had manipulated his life, and kidnapped his son.
After that, there was never really any time to address that brief moment with Logan, and Jean herself didn't fully know what to think about it then. Nor was she ready yet to address the turmoil of emotions it had stirred in her.
And still separated as X-Men and X-Factor, Jean didn't see much of Logan following this, as both groups became caught up with their own problems once more.
That all changed with Genosha. X-Factor had joined the X-Men to rescue Ororo, and the New Mutants Warlock, Tabitha, Rictor and Rahne. They had been captured by the Genoshan magistrates, and Warren's traitorous former friend Cameron Hodge, now changed into an immortal monstrous cyborg thanks to both a deal with the demon N'astirh and Genoshan technology.
After a terrible struggle they won, at the cost of Warlock's life. Cameron's head, still living thanks to his deal with N'astirh, had been left buried beneath the Genoshan citadel Rictor brought down around him, after Scott and Alex had destroyed his cybernetic body.
But during this conflict both Logan and herself ended up captured, their powers deactivated.
What happened there changed everything for Jean.
Flashback starts
Jean stumbled into a darkened cell, wondering what fresh horrors Hodge and the Genoshans had in store for her.
From within the shadowed cell, Jean heard Logan's voice, weak and shaking, as he croaked, 'is that you, Red?'
Jean felt an icy cold hand grip her heart as she turned to the source of the voice, dreading what she was about to see. Jean's heart felt like it had jumped into her throat, and for a moment she couldn't move, horrified at what she saw.
Logan lay on a small platform that passed for a bed in the cell. His uniform was almost entirely ripped away, only his boots and the upper part of his pants remaining. He was pale, feverish, and tremors were running through his body. Logan's chest , arms and legs were covered in cuts, deep bruises and burns, and there was a deep puncture wound piercing the side of his chest, looked to have been caused by the spiked tail of Cameron Hodge's cybernetic body.
The wound was still bleeding profusely, the blood painting the platform beneath him deep scarlet, and running down the platform's edge in rivets, to pool on the cell floor below.
Jean was struck speechless, as though all the air was squeezed from her chest. She could see right away Logan wasn't healing. A cold, terrible despair gripped Jean at the thought of having to endure the sight of him dying all over again, this time right in front of her eyes.
Now she understood what those horrible guards had meant when they said the cell was specifically designed with her in mind.
Another one of Hodge's twisted games.
Finally Jean managed to find enough air as she whispered, "Logan, what have they done to you?"
Logan chuckled before coughing a little, and croaked, "looks like I had a little trouble with customs Jeannie."
"Oh," Jean heard the hated voice of Hodge mock them through the cell door opening. "Not to pretty a sight is he, my dear. Life's a little harder for him these days without a healing factor. I suspect he may need the kind of care only you can provide. I regret that I require you to share accommodations. But already our holding cells are filled to capacity, and with your help, I'll be acquiring new captives almost immediately.". Hodge cruelly laughed, shutting the door slit with a ringing clang.
Jean had never hated someone so purely, so completely, as she did Cameron Hodge in that moment. A fury blazed to life within her, and if her power hadn't been shut down Jean would have ripped the cell door open and sought to tear Hodge apart, and heaven help any Genoshan that got in her way.
A fury that was forgotten a moment later, cold fear gripping her once more as she spun back to Logan, hearing him say, "what was that all about?"
Jean rushed to him, headless of the blood beneath her as she sat down besides his resting body. Jean managed to choke back a sob when she saw how weak and fragile he was. Some of his wounds were red and inflamed, clearly becoming infected.
Tired and sore, Jean could see the usual guards he had worn around her recently were down. Even without her telepathy she could almost physically feel the love and adoration burning from his now feverish blue eyes. Jean did her best to school her features, and not break down before him when he was so injured.
Jean was glad at least that with his hyper senses gone he wouldn't pick up on her distress so easily, and answered his question, "we were captured while wiring this place and that scum had us mind scanned. He's learned the location of every bomb we planted as well as the hideout of Scott and the others."
Jean's hands trembled as they hovered over Logan's body, frozen in fear for a moment. His blood was still spilling out of chest wound, despite the makeshift bandage Logan had made out of his suit. After a moment, breaking through the terror trying to claim her, Jean tore free the uniform from around her arm, and used it to rebind his wound, before carefully checking his body. It only confirmed what she already knew.
He was in bad shape, and was getting worse.
Helpless, Jean lifted a hand to gently caress his face, wiping away the blood pouring down from a cut in his forehead, and moved closer to him, feeling that familiar magnetic pull.
Logan smiled up at her, and whispered hoarsely, "funny. Back before you lost your telepathic power, you used to know what I was thinkin', even 'fore I thought it, an' I never had a clue what was goin' on inside your head."
Struggling to keep the terror and the thoughts buzzing around her head about how Logan would die before her eyes that were trying to seize hold of her, Jean acted on instinct. Blinking back the tears in her eyes, Jean lent down, and gently kissed Logan's forehead, then both his bloodied cheeks and then his nose, before she replied, "and now?"
Their faces now only inches apart, Logan croaked back, "now we're even."
Jean found herself caught, trapped by his piercing cobalt blue. All thought left her for a moment.
Jean's breath caught as she found herself mesmerized by the powerful emotions directed towards her, naked for the first time since she'd met him again.
"It's good to see you again, Jeannie. Even here," Logan whispered, a shaking hand coming up to caress her arm.
Jean face lowered back towards his, the air becoming heavy and electric between them, unspoken feelings flaring to life between them.
"It's good to see you too," Jean whispered in reply before, unable to stop herself even if she wanted to, she closed the distance and captured his lips with her own.
Their first kiss started off gentle, sweet and tentative. It then deepened and became fiery and passionate in a instant, an electric shock passing between them at the initial contact. Caught up in the whirlwind of passion, attraction and deeper and more powerful emotions driving her, now unleashed like a dam breaking, Jean poured everything she had into the kiss. All her need, longing and desire.
Jean lost herself in the taste and feel of him, plundering his mouth with fierce and passionate intensity.
Desperately seeking to immerse herself in him, Jean pressed her body flush against his, melding into him, gripping his strong bicep with her left hand whilst her right held herself steady against the wall just above the platform Logan was lying on.
Logan matched Jean's ardour with equal ferocity, left hand moving from her arm, gliding up her back, as his other snaked through her hair, pulling her tight against him, holding Jean secure within the protective circle of his arms.
Without even thinking, lost in the moment, heart feeling as though it was exploding within her as the unnamed emotion erupted to life within her, Jean leapt over the cliff she had been teetering on the edge of increasingly since she had come back.
At that moment, Jean knew she'd fallen hopeless in love with the Wolverine.
But interlaced through all this was a growing terror and the black hole of grief and despair rising to overwhelm everything else she was feeling, confronted with the loss of the man she loved just at the moment she had discovered it.
Jean didn't need her telepathy this close to know he was dying. And she knew Logan knew it too. It was the reason he was being so unrestrained with her. Why the defences he'd kept up around her since they reunited in Sinister's base were dropped.
He was kissing her goodbye.
All the emotions Jean had held back since she first laid eyes on Logan in the cell, came bursting forth. Tears openly running down her face, Jean broke the kiss with a choked sob, and threw her arms around Logan's neck, unable to stop herself as she cried brokenly for all she was she'd found and seemed about to loose.
Logan's hand began to caress her back soothingly. "What is it, Red?"
Unable to even voice the horror consuming her, her mind refusing to even comprehend it, anxiety twisting her insides painfully in knots, Jean could only reply with a half-truth, "it's just the unreasoning cruelty of it all Logan. The suffocating helplessness. Can we ever really win against such relentless hatred and abuse as we've found in this place?"
"Don't worry, It'll be okay, Jeannie," Logan whispered quietly to her. "Cyke'll think of somethin'. We're down but we ain't out. Hodge hasn't ever beaten you yet, an' he ain't about to now. You'll get out of here just fine."
Jean heart constricted painfully as she noted he said nothing about himself.
"As for whether it's worth it or not," Logan continued, "I ain't the best guy to ask. But I guess you gotta stand for somethin' darlin', you gotta live an' die for somethin'. It so it might as well be somethin' important. Maybe we'll never know if we'll ever really succeed, whether there's gonna be a happy endin'. But if we never try, if we let fear rob us from standin' up for what we know is true an' right, an' give up hope, we've failed ourselves an' already lost. An' that's worse than anythin' all the Hodges or Genoshan magistrates can ever do."
"Besides," Logan smiled weakly as she raised her head to look at him, "that fat lady ain't belted out her song just yet Red. We're all still alive, so the story ain't done. We've gotta keep livin' right up till the end."
Flashback ends
Thankfully Logan hadn't died.
Hodge had the magistrate Wipeout restore Logan's healing factor long enough so he'd still be alive for what passed for the Genoshan trial, and the further torments he'd planned for them .
Jean still remembered with a cold shudder when he forced Warren and Logan against each other. With his mutant powers deactivated, Warren was unable to easily control the Archangel wings Apocalypse gave him, which under Hodge's influence lashed out at Logan.
Once more without his healing factor, they had slashed at him and fired synapse-disrupting feathers at him, whilst Logan attempted to take out Warren's wings. Eventually, after the rest of them had broken free, Jean jumped in between the two, and reached Warren to take control of his wings. But once again Logan was torn to ribbons, and would have died there in her arms had Ororo not restored their powers.
But, caught up in the events that followed, there had never any time to address what had happened between the two of them in that cell.
By the time everything had been sorted out with the Genoshan authorities, X-Men and X-Factor went their own ways again for a little while.
X-Factor was caught up in another conflict with Apocalypse, in which Jean regained her telepathy in a battle with the Dark Rider Psynapse. The X-Men themselves were off-planet in the Shi'ar Empire, and returned with Charles back in tow. This was quickly followed by the Shadow King incident that brought them all back together, and lead to Jean and her fellow originals returning to the X-Men.
Events had as ever, continued to keep them busy. Soon the crisis involving Magneto, his new Acolytes and the crash of Asteroid M happened, resulting in the Master of Magnetism's death. This was followed by the hunt for his right hand man, and betrayer, Fabian Cortez.
Logan himself has been caught up besides this fending of continued personal attacks from a vengeful Donald Peirce, Lady Deathstrike and the cybernetic Reavers, pursuing him ever since they'd crucified and tortured him for days just before the events of Genosha, leaving his healing factor and other abilities weakened, something only made worse by his experiences in Genosha.
Something about the latest clash, involving not only Deathstrike but also Sabretooth, had left Logan shaken in a way he wasn't ready to share with anyone yet. Though glimpses Jean caught, concerned, had reflected shadowy memories of unimaginable white-hot agony, fear, violence and death, and distorted voices that seemed hauntingly familiar, though Jean couldn't place where.
But try as she might, neither Jean nor anyone else had been able to get Logan to open up about what was going on with him. And soon enough they were all distracted with larger problems, when Cortez lead the Acolytes in yet another attack.
In the battle that followed, the remaining Acolytes were defeated, and Cortez was killed by Jean herself, his betrayal and deception revealed to the remaining Acolytes. And Logan and Kitty were left dealing with the results caused by the accidental, temporary merger that had changed both of their abilities.
Logan had spent much of the following weeks with Kitty as both learnt to deal with the new changes, helping each other.
It had been a revelation to Jean to see Logan interacting with his young charges, both Kitty, Jubliee and even Rogue. Seeing him comfortable in a mentor and fatherly role wouldn't have been something Jean would have thought possible when she had first met him.
But then Logan so often surprised them with hidden depths, even then.
Then, a few nights back, it had all come to ahead.
The X-Men, enjoying the first week of peace and quiet in a while, had headed out to their favourite local, Harry's Hideaway, to just relax and forget all about the stresses of being X-Men for a night. Even the Professor had decided to go, and Jean and Kitty had managed to cajole and persuade the now standoffish Logan to join them.
Flashback begins
Logan, despite his earlier protestations, began to relax a bit and enjoy himself, grateful for the distraction. He even smiled and laughed a little then, causing Jean's heart to skip a beat when she first saw it.
Soon Jean lost herself in the warmth of friendship and companionship, and, particularly as the night wore on, and it had become just Jean and Logan, a subtler attraction and desire that began to build between the two of them, alone together in their booth.
This close to her, in an environment surrounded by the other X-Men, the guard he always seemed to keep up around her had dropped over the night, as the night's enchantment wove it's spell over the two of them.
As the conversation flowed between them, punctuated by meaningful silences, his blue eyes blazed with that same burning love and adoration Jean had seen in them in that moment back in Sinister's base, and again during the time they shared the cell together in Genosha.
Jean could feel the same emotions radiating from his mind, escaping the mental fortress Logan usually hid them behind. Jean's own heart blazed back in response, and locked in a world of their own for a time, Jean was happier then she could remember being since she'd first woken up in the Fantastic Four Baxter building.
Sometime during the evening as the two conversed, Jean's hand unconsciously reached towards Logan's during one of their silences. Their talk had become more serious, breaching into talk of loss. Jean's loss of her old life, her sister Sara, the life she once would have had. His loss of his wife and the life he had shared with her, even Jean herself. For both, the difficulty in moving on from all the wreckage and devastation of the life you once had, to find something new.
Jean's fingers threaded with Logan's own, her heart aching at the haunted look that came over his face, intense grief, pain and guilt radiating from him in waves. Gripping Logan's hand tightly, Jean held his eyes with her own, silently saying all the things that words were to inadequate to communicate.
Logan reacted with a surprised start her hand slipped in and grasped his own. Though a momentary hesitation flashed behind his cobalt blue, it vanished as Jean squeezed his hand reassuringly.
Lost in each others eyes, the haunted look faded from Logan's rugged face, powerful uncloaked feelings played openly behind his stormy, slightly confused eyes, just as they beamed from his mind, delighting Jean even as her own flared back in response.
The air became thick and electric between them, their faces moving slowly closer together, when Ororo, Maddy, and Kurt had dropped back in at their table with a new round of drinks, breaking the spell between them.
As if waking from a dream, they pulled their hands back from each other, breaking eye contact suddenly.
Jean felt her cheeks burning a little with embarrassment as she sat back in her seat, quickly picking up and sipping her drink, avoiding the knowing looks the three shot them.
Thankfully, they chose to say nothing, though Jean noticed Maddy had a huge grin on her face, her green eyes gleaming with barely restrained excitement and Jean didn't need to be a telepath to know as soon as they were alone Maddy would want to know all the details. Jean could also see Kurt was looking at Logan with a raised eyebrow, at which Logan just lightly growled in response as he took a drink, which only caused Kurt to chuckle back at him.
But the moment was over. Jean could sense his thoughts and feelings retreating back behind a strong bear trap of a psychic barrier, his eyes growing both contemplative and guarded once more.
Jean couldn't help but feel slightly hurt over this, her stomach tying itself in knots as Kurt, Ororo and Maddy chatted away, soon joined by Scott.
Logan had often left her feeling uncertain and unbalanced in the past, surprised by the heat that would blaze between them. But then she had always resisted, focused on Scott and her future with him. Now, everything was different, all those feelings she'd resisted then we're in full bloom. She'd fallen headlong into those turbulent waters, so feeling him pulling away like that left Jean uncertain, unsettled and anxious.
Rejected.
Jean stole glances at him, lonely and dejected amidst all her friends and family. Logan was now quiet and more withdrawn again, barely participating in the conversation around him.
By the time they all got back to the mansion, Jean saw Logan head off by himself for a walk towards the lake in the dark, the glowing end of his cigar flaring brightly in the deep shadows of the night as he strolled away.
By now, Jean's dejection and hurt had transformed into anger, and she had barely kept her fiery temper under control around her friends as they'd gone back.
Despite all the attempts to get close to him and get him to open up, Logan always kept her at arms length ever since she'd returned to the X-Men, outside of these 'moments' that flared between them.
Yet Jean could feel the way Logan felt about her, no matter how hidden he thought he kept his feelings. The way he interacted with her, how he would often subtly seek to protect or aid her, tender gazes that made Jean feel cherished, and heated ones that scorched her with their passionate intensity, setting Jean's heart racing and her blood pounding within her.
Then there were these 'moments' when all guards and pretences fell away between them, and Jean saw everything she felt reflected in his cobalt blue, in his touch, and at Genosha, his kiss. Even were Jean not a telepath it would have been obvious to her. With it there was no doubt, Jean could feel everything Logan wouldn't say radiating from his mind tonight.
She hadn't planned for it to happen, but their moments ever had been thus. But Jean knew she was damned if she was going to let Logan get away with pretending like there was nothing going on between them.
While a part of Jean could appreciate the irony that now it was Logan running and attempting to deny the attraction between them, it certainly wasn't for the same reasons.
Jean had some inklings over what the source of that suffocating fear that seemed to choke him at times might be.
But either way, Jean had had it with this pretence, of acquiescing to Logan's desire to never address it.
Not anymore buster, Jean thought as she suddenly burst into the air, as everyone else headed into the mansion. If you think I'm just going to let this go again, you're sorely mistaken.
"Something tells me a certain Canadian had better look out," Jean heard Maddy giggle behind her.
"The Wolverine had best be doing some of dat ducking and weaving, non?" Remy joked.
"Don't think that's going to help him none this time, sugar," Rogue laughed in reply.
Looks like neither of them had been nearly as subtle about what was going on between them as they had thought. Some part of Jean realized that she was causing something of a scene, and would have to deal with the gossip, jokes and knowing looks when she got back, but right now Jean didn't care about any of that.
Right now she only cared about getting Logan to admit there was something to gossip about in the first place.
Jean found Logan looking out at the moonlit waters of the small lake, a glistening silver sheen cast over both the lake and the surrounding woods by in the pale moonlight, cast from the full moon above. The stars glittered brilliantly like diamonds cast with reckless abandon across the dark canopy of the night sky.
The night was quiet as Jean descended from the air, everything seemed magical and unreal, as though they had stepped outside the normal world, away from the cares of the X-Men, into an wild and enchanted realm belonging to just the two of them.
Logan had been still, almost it would seem a statue, the cigar he'd been smoking gone, until he turned his head slightly and looked back at her. "What did you come all the way out here for, Red?"
"You know why, Logan," Jean replied, voice soft but firm. "We need to talk."
"The phase every man dreads," Logan chuckled emptily. "What we got to talk about Jeannie?"
Furious, Jean stormed up to him, walking around until she was face to face with him, her eyes boring into his. A steely determination gripped her, and Jean poked Logan hard in the chest to emphasize her words, as she yelled, "you know exactly what, mister! What's going on between us, has been going on, ever since we saw each other again back in Sinister's base. What we feel for each other."
Jean's eyes narrowed as she saw Logan about to protest, and could sense the denials forming in his mind, "and don't you dare try to lie to me right now and say you don't feel it as well, because I can feel it blazing from your mind, right now, no matter how good you think your hiding it. Everyone else can see it as well, so cut the crap! I've kept silent so far, I've let you pretend like nothing happened in Genosha. I've played it your way, like we're not staring at each other when we think the other isn't looking, hoping you'd let me in, or at least open up about why you seem to be doing your best to run away from us. But that ends now. I'm not going to play this game anymore, I'm not going pretend nothing happened tonight. We're going to discuss tonight, Genosha and us, if I have to telekinetically hold you in place to do it!"
Logan avoided her eyes as he replied, "it's just sparks in the trenches, darlin'. You shouldn't let it bother you none. Don't get yourself wrapped up over it, an' find someone worthy of your affections."
Jean reached up, cupping his whiskered cheek with her hand. She gently pulled his face back to look her in the eye. Jean could see a skittish terror lurking there, alongside a storm of other emotions that sent her heart racing.
"That's a bullshit and you know it Logan," Jean said. "I lost whatever my life might once have been thanks to the Phoenix, I don't know what would have happened if we had never been captured by Lang, if I never had to pilot that shuttle, but I did. Maybe it would have been better, maybe worse. Either way, it doesn't matter anymore, that life's long gone. And I've long stopped feeling resentful about it all. I'm alive, I'm back with my friends and family, doing what I'm meant to do, and," Jean paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath, and continued, "I've no longer had to deny the pull you have on my heart. Those feelings have been allowed to bloom at last. So here's the headline buddy, I'm in love with you, ass though you're being now notwithstanding. No just attracted, not just 'sparks in the trenches', in love. So you look me in the eye, your mind open, and tell me you don't feel the same."
Jean saw a look of stunned surprise cross Logan's face, in disbelief at her bold confession, breaking all the unspoken rules between them of never addressing their feelings for each other. Jean sensed him trying to summon a denial that he felt anything like that in return, but with her eyes boring into his, her full focus upon him, Jean saw the resistance in his face crumble in defeat, realising how futile it would be.
Logan sighed and looked down, "you know how I feel about you Jeannie. I love you. I've always loved you, from the first moment I laid eyes on you, before I even knew what it was I was really feelin'. You're the first woman I ever really loved since comin' out of that wild, howlin' redness, when Mac an' Heather found me. I tried to move on from you back then, saw you chose Scott, even knew deep down it was the right choice. An' I did, or at least buried those feelin's safe away, particularly after we thought you'd died when Phoenix fell, an' I found Mariko. Then I saw you alive an' well an' it all burst back to life, breakin' free of where it'd been safety buried all these years."
"Then," Jean cried happily, tears gathering in her eyes, heart exploding within from joy, and felt a massive grin breaking out on her face, as she drifted closer to him.
Logan grabbed her arms, holding Jean in place, as he said, "wait. Flyboy had me pegged right all those years ago Red. I'm bad news, an' you should stay as far away from me as possible. You need to forget all about me, hate me if you need to, an' find someone else."
Jean broke away angrily from Logan's hold, and cried, "don't you dare tell me who I can or can't love, Logan. And don't you ever dare say that about yourself in my presence ever again. You've proved the faith the Professor and I had in you all those years ago. Logan, you're a backbone of the X-Men themselves now. And I'm not going to forget buster, nor are you going to scare me into backing off."
"Don't you get it Jeannie," Logan replied, a haunted look crossing his face. "Bad shit happens to those I care about, particularly the women I care for. I forgot that with M'iko, pretended to myself that it is wasn't the case, that this time it would be different. I loved her Jeannie, it was different from you, but I really loved her. I left the X-Men for her, I became her champion as she led clan Yashida, workin' to free Yashida of the criminal connections her father Shingen left it in. Fought a war 'gainst Wilson Fisk an' his Yakuza allies. We won after I defeated him in single combat, an' right there at the end, her brother Harada betrayed us an' killed her at the Kingpin's order. Well their both dead, an' I hope they rot in hell, but M'iko's dead all the same. It nearly destroyed me Jeannie, an' all 'cause I grew selfish an' greedy, wantin' a life an animal like me has no right to. An' M'iko, she paid the price."
Tears were glittering in Logan's eyes, and one lone tear had broken free to run down his rugged face. Jean felt the deep psychic wound Logan had kept hidden and had ruthlessly suppressed for years burst forth, all the hurt, deep grief and guilt pouring out. Jean shot towards him, arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace, "Logan, I'm so sorry."
"Oh God, Jeannie," Logan whispered, voice cracking slightly, his powerful arms enveloping her instinctively, unthinkingly, in a protective embrace. "It was all my fault. If only I had stayed away, let her be, never got involved, she'd be alive today. I still see her blood on my hands sometimes, like it'll never wash away. An' the thought of that happenin' to you, I can't bear it. I had to go through your death once. If I had to do it again, knowin' I was the cause, it would destroy me, I know it would. The only way I know to keep you safe is keep my distance."
For a long while Jean just held him, silently giving him all her strength in support, as everything about his behaviour fell into place for her. Eventually she pulled back, and looked into his face, now looking so uncharacteristically vulnerable it made her heart ache. Jean reached up and caressed his face gently and softly said, "Logan, I can't begin to understand your grief, but you have to know deep down that you had nothing to do with Mariko's death. That's just your grief talking. I never met her, but she was a remarkable woman for everything everybody has said about her. Rogue has particularly fond memories of her. But it's clear your presence was nothing but positive in her life."
Jean saw Logan beginning to shake his head, and she stilled him as she continued, "if you had never met her in Japan when the X-Men returned from the Savage Land, she would likely have died in the earthquake in the garden where you first met. And from what I was told her father Shingen was going to have her marry a man who beat and abused her. You saved her from that, risking everything. And if you had left her then, she would have been killed by her brother, Viper, the Yakuza or Fisk anyway. Except you would have taken the joy and happiness she found with you away from her. Without you she would have died much sooner, in a life marked by sorrow and unhappiness. You've focused so much on how she died, you risk forgetting who she was when she was alive, of the life you shared together. It's a tragedy Mariko died when and how she did. She didn't deserve it. It shouldn't have happened. But don't let her death steal away the good memories of the life you had with her, and stop blaming yourself for something that had nothing to do with you. Even though I didn't know her, I think I can say, as someone who loves you too, she wouldn't want that for you. You dishonour her by remembering her this way, or feeling guilt over something you had nothing to do with."
Jean saw anger leap briefly into Logan's eyes, and a low growl rumbled in this throat. But she held his gaze unflinchingly, undaunted, and challenged him, "is anything I've heard wrong, Logan? Would Mariko be proud of what you've turned her death into, dwelling on unwarranted guilt and cutting everybody out of your life?"
For a moment Logan held Jean's gaze, eyes hard, but then his anger crumbled, a feeling of shame coming over him. "No," Logan whispered, looking down as the admission was torn from him. "She be disappointed in me."
Jean gently lifted his face back up to look her in the eyes, "you've let your grief twist you up Logan. You've let it speak to your worst fears about yourself, and have you take on the impossible responsibility of the safety of everyone in your life. It's not because of you if they die. The world doesn't revolve around you. We live a dangerous life, dying is always a possibility, and keeping yourself distant isn't going save anyone, just hurt yourself and those who care about you. You have to let this guilt go Logan, it's going to destroy you. Besides how can make sure we're okay if you're not going to be part of our lives?"
Jean paused for a second, before continuing, "and I never died on you Logan. That was Phoenix. I'm still here, I've been here, circling you ever since we met again. And now that I know that you both love me, and that your reasons for us to stay apart is really just bullshit that only sounds reasonable in your head, and that's only because you've never told anyone before, you're not going to be able to keep me away. Besides," Jean smiled gently at him, "you already love me, so in your silly way of thinking, wouldn't I already been in danger? In that case, wouldn't I be safer with you by my side?"
A look of shock crossed Logan's face, and Jean lent forward, and placed a soft, loving kiss on his lips, pouring her love for him into it. After a moment, Jean felt him respond and deepened the kiss. Tears pricked her eyes at the adoration in his kiss, and the uncloaked love pouring from his mind.
After a moment, Jean drew back, holding herself back for now, Logan's face still looking a bit stunned. "At Genosha you told me that we have to live for something. Even if we don't know if we'll succeed, or if there's going to be happy ending. That if we let fear rob us from following what's true, and give up hope, we've failed ourselves and have already lost. That applies to personal relationships and love as well, Logan. I know our love is true and real, and it won't be denied, you've tried your best, and isn't working."
Jean kissed him chastely once more and then stood back and hovered back into the air. "Are you going to be lost and as good as dead Logan, and let fear keep ruling you, and live the rest of your life as a lie?" Jean stated. "You can't live like that, and I know I won't. I've made my choice, just like Mariko did, with my eyes wide open. I'm going to be here for you, no matter what you do."
Goodnight, my love, Jean finished telepathically as she shot back towards the mansion, leaving Logan to think on everything that had been said.
Flashback ends
Now, sitting in her room, her reminiscence over, Jean stood up, determination flashing in her eyes, and opened her wardrobe, telekinetically pulling out and arranged various outfits as she dressed for battle. "Times up Logan. Ready or not, there's going to be no more running for either of us."