"This brings us to Dr. Shibutani, whose chapter in the book I'm sure all of you read before you came to class today," Professor Takayama began, pausing briefly for a sip of coffee. "So who can tell exactly what Dr. Shibutani brings to the table that's so important to our discussion?"
After the briefest moment of thought, Kagome raised her hand.
"Yes, Miss. Higurashi?"
"Shibutani said that we can assume the role of several generalized others."
The professor gave her a guarded a smile.
"That's correct, but how does that differ from the other sociologists we've been discussing?"
Kagome paused for a few seconds to consider her answer.
"Dr. Shibutani rejects the idea of just one generalized 'other' because people are influenced by multiple reference groups. Each reference group has its own generalized 'other' that its participants draw upon, which adds more layers to the symbolic interactionist approach to the study of role-taking."
Professor Takayama nodded, his head bobbing on his pencil thin neck like a dashboard ornament.
"Very good, Kagome. Those aren't exactly the terms that I would have used, but that's a good summary," the elderly professor said in as pleased a tone of voice as he ever used. "We'll be discussing more of Dr. Shibutani's work later, but first I'd like to at least touch on the chapter on gender identities before the weekend…"
Kagome huffed a relieved sigh after the professor's attention was diverted back to the class as a whole. The Integration of Self and Society was a college level course, and it was always nerve wracking to be the center of attention even if she did know the answer. Still, it seemed like she knew almost all of the answers lately. Her soaring grades in the month since she returned from the feudal era made the whole thing seem almost worth it.
"Does anyone know the name of the American sociologist who's been doing work on the violent image of masculinity as presented in the media? If it helps, he's the gentleman who coined the term 'tough guise'."
Kagome barely even realized she'd raised her hand until Professor Takayama called on her again.
"Jackson Katz?" she said, a little unsure of her answer.
"Yes, he's the one! We'll actually be watching one of his films later in the course."
For some reason Professor Takayama seemed a little too excited about that. Kagome glanced at her watch, pleasantly surprised that the final bell was only moments away. As she discreetly reached down to retrieve her book bag, the fragment of the Shikon Jewel which hung from her neck spilled out of her collar and dangled lazily in the air.
****
"How long?"
Sango blinked, her eyes registering both confusion and the smallest hint of fear.
"How long has it been going on?" Kagome demanded, fighting the urge to raise her voice.
"What are you talking about?" Sango replied in her most quizzical voice. She was still kneeling on the ground and bundling up her bedroll, but her motions had become stiff and unnatural.
"You and Inuyasha," Kagome nearly spat. Her voice broke just enough to infuriate her. "How long has it been going on?"
Sango abandoned her task and looked up at Kagome. Her mouth was a thin line and she was blinking too much. Kagome's hand itched to slap her, but instead she closed her eyes and spoke as carefully and as clearly as she could.
"I saw the two of you kiss last night. How long have you and Inuyasha been…"
She didn't know how she wanted to finish that sentence.
"I'm sorry, Kagome," Sango said at last, her voice tiny and pensive, "I…"
"I don't care if you're sorry, I just want to know how long you two have been keeping this from me!" Kagome shouted, tears welling up hotly in her eyes.
Sango avoided her gaze, her hands fisted in her lap. Kagome was angry at herself for losing control, but at the same time she was calling herself an idiot for thinking she could keep control in the first place. Somewhere in the distance a bird was singing, blissfully oblivious to the confrontation. The men, and Shippo, were likewise unaware of what was going on, as they had set our earlier in hopes of finding a nearby way out of the canyon. One of them, however, would be getting what was coming to him soon enough.
"It wasn't his fault Kagome," Sango finally began in a low, trembling voice. "Please don't take this out on Inuyasha. It was all my fault, not his."
Kagome clenched his fists tightly, pain flaring in her palms as her nails dug into her hands.
"How hard is it to give me a simple answer?" she growled, wanting to scream at Sango with every fiber of her being.
Sango bit her lip.
"Not long," she said quietly. "Just a few days ago, really…"
****
The walk home from school seemed to take forever these days. Rather than take the straight route, Kagome now followed a circular course that allowed to her avoid walking past the Sacred Tree. It seemed silly, but seeing the tree was like seeing Inuyasha and catching sight of it did nothing but upset her. Lots of things seemed to upset her lately. At least she wasn't crying herself to sleep at night anymore.
Kagome shook her head, irritated with herself for dwelling on her problems. Thinking about it didn't accomplish anything except making herself made, so there really wasn't any point to lingering on things she couldn't change.
Yeah, keeping telling yourself that. It certainly made a difference the last twenty times.
Summer was approaching, and the sun pounded off the pavement as Kagome made her way down the street. The sky above was a crystalline blue, and she might have been enjoying the day if she had felt even remotely cheerful. She had spent the last few months quite literally living in the past, but now that she was back in her own time for good she was still living in the past, if only in her mind. Her friends, who were initially delighted to learn that she would be regularly attending school again, had soon noticed the perpetual gloom that hung about her. Their attempts to right the situation had met with no success, in no small part because Kagome was completely reticent about discussing what was bothering her. Even a few dates with Hojo had done nothing to make her feel at all better.
She frowned as she thought of Hojo. That poor boy had done everything in his power just to get her to smile for the past month, but she had been making a point to avoid him. He was a sweet guy, practically everything Inuyasha wasn't, but being around him only made her think that selfish dog back in the feudal era. She didn't want to hurt Hojo's feelings, but he wasn't the one she wanted to be on dates with it.
That thought threatened shatter the dams that had been straining to hold back her tears, and Kagome broke into a run so she would at least be home when she broke down.
****
"I'm sorry, Kagome. I really am. It's just…"
"Shut up, Inuyasha," Kagome said through her tears. Confronting Sango had been hard enough, but dealing with Inuyasha was even worse.
Inuyasha recoiled a few steps as if he had been struck by her words. For a few moments the evening air around the Bone Eater's Well was deathly silent. His amber eyes glowed softly in the fading light, and he paced back and forth nervously, not knowing what to do or say.
"Just tell me why," Kagome said, her trembling as she struggled to hold back a sob.
"I don't know, Kagome. I don't," Inuyasha said, trying to look her in the eyes but ultimately letting his gaze drop to the ground.
"You know," she began, her voice finally choking up. "It wasn't so bad when it was Kikyo. I mean, you loved Kikyo from the start. But Sango? If you couldn't love me because of Kikyo, why can you love Sango?"
"I do love you, Kagome…" Inuyasha said, shaking his head in self disgust.
"Don't you ever say that to me again, Inuyasha!"
Inuyasha retreated a step, his eyes wide with surprise as Kagome loosed her venom. Kagome's hands were clenched in fists and tears streamed down her cheeks, glistening in the last rays of sunset as they dropped onto the grass. Deep in her heart she had wanted to hear those words from Inuyasha ever since the day he protected her from Sesshomaru at his father's tomb, but now they did nothing but hurt. Hearing him say that he loved only hammered home his betrayal even more.
"Don't you dare tell me you love me ever again," Kagome repeated, her voice a stream of cool poison.
Inuyasha moved forward as if to embrace her, but she pushed him away and turned her back to him. Kagome hugged herself, trying to stop her shoulders from shaking as the last ounce of her composure broke down and the tears overcame her completely. She half expected him to try to put his arms around her, but instead she only heard a dull thud as sat down ungracefully on ground.
Neither one of them said a word for a long time, and the sun had finally disappeared behind the horizon when Kagome finally spoke.
"I'm going home."
"What? You can't…" Inuyasha began to protest.
She turned to him with fire in her eyes.
"It's obvious that I don't have any real place here," she said, fresh tears welling up. "I don't want to have to worry about confusing you anymore or somehow getting between you and Sango or you and Kikyo or whoever else you have your eye on."
Kagome was at the edge of the well before Inuyasha could so much as get to his feet. She felt her the sorrow swell within her yet again as he walked towards her with pleading eyes.
"Kagome, don't…"
She shook her head furiously as she began to gingerly lower herself into the well. Against her better judgment she cast one final glance over her shoulder as she dropped herself into the oblivion beneath her. The last thing she felt before emerged in her own time was the sting of tears.