01-03-06
Sunday
It's me again. I spoke with Robin today. He said he didn't understand why shouldn't we practice outside on the "fresh air". Just a small note: in the news they said that this day had been the coldest day in this region since 1932. Thanks a lot Robin. What a jerk! He also said that the others didn't have any problems with going out. Hello! Cyborg is a half-robot, so he can turn off his heat sensors (since most of his body is covered by metal he needs to feel somehow) and Beast Boy can turn into a mammoth. I can't say I'm surprised though. I knew my opinion wouldn't count. So I didn't go out and then they asked why didn't I come I said I felt sick. They fell for it.
So what did I do today? I woke up at 5.00 A.M., as (stupid) Beast Boy set off the alarm in the entire tower by "accidentally" blowing up the kitchen while trying his newest tofu receipt. That kid has serious problems with his brain (if he has one). He's so crazy about not eating meat, saying that it would be like eating himself. But as he can change into a tiger as well I don't see what's his problem. Tigers eat meat…
So after this early waking I got dressed (I won't write about the usual: brush my teeth, wash my face, etc.). It seems my face's getting paler every year. No wonder no one finds me attractive. Oh, not again. See, I'm constantly whining about my problems. I guess that's because I don't speak with anyone about this. But whom could I talk to? None of the other Titans would understand what I feel. Star's too naïve, Robin's too much of a boss, Beast Boy's rarely serious and I don't trust him, and Cyborg…well, maybe he…
Ah, forget it. It's better this way, if everyone thinks I'm creepy and cruel. At least I won't hurt anyone. It's better this way…
I'm not in the mood to continue what happened to me today. In short: nothing's happened, just another one of those boring and lonely days I hate so much. Another day just like my entire life.
01-04-06
Monday
Today was the first sunny day after a long time. I thought the cloud would never disappear, but today sunlight somehow got through. I watched the glistening world from within my gloomy room and I felt really miserable. Ever had the feeling you're worthless, that you don't belong in this world. That's something like what I felt, but it was worse.
Today I heard a new song on the radio. Robin, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire went out to play so I turned up the volume and listened to anything that would make me feel at least a bit better. At first it seemed I wouldn't find anything, but then a strange music caught my attention (I was slipping into one of those depressed states when you lose your touch with reality). Its title was "Never Again". From a band named Dark Force (what kind of an idiot would think of a name like this?). Despite their name the song proved to be quite…soothing. I've never been too interested in rock, but this was different. Its melody was strangely hypnotizing and I even began to nod my head to it (and nothing like this had ever happened to me before). So I liked the song so much I decided to download its lyrics. So, here it is:
Dark Force: Never AgainVerse1:
You can see the death approaching
He is dying in your arms.
And you know you can not save him
The night has killed the stars.
He looks at you with frightened eyes
Tries to say one last word.
You just cry as he slowly dies
And leaves you in this cold world.
Refrain:
Never again will he smile at you
Never again will he kiss you
Never again will he dance with you
Never again say he needs you.
Never again, never again!
Verse2:
Now he's gone, you can't deny it
This truth is your nightmare!
You wan to die? You can't hide it
You couldn't be happy again.
Never again!
Refrain:
Never again will he smile at you
Never again will he kiss you
Never again will he dance with you
Never again say he needs you.
Never again, never again!
Verse3:
You told him you would always love him
Always be at his side
But now it's too late, you've lost him!
It's too late to say goodbye!
Refrain:
Never again will he smile at you
Never again will he kiss you
Never again will he dance with you
Never again say he needs you.
Never again, never again!
Okay, that's all for today. I'm going to sleep now. Maybe I'm really sick. My head hurts and I feel dizzy. I can hear Beast Boy and Cyborg arguing (probably once again about that senseless video game they bought for Christmas). I'm just in the mood to send that Gamestation into the darkest dimension. Or better yet, send them...
A/N: Just a short note. I won't reply to questions about the next step in thestoryline and my choices. Neither will I tell you the pairing, because there is no pairing (which doesn't mean there won't be love). :) No offense. See ya!