Chapter 29

Ginny went to work feeling completly ill. She couldn't get Harry's voice out of her head, Ginny... I'm dying... forgive me... it played over and over in her head.

She stood behind the cash register as tears fell down her face, unnoticed, smearing her makeup.

"Ginny?" she heard a voice ask. She jumped and looked directly at the voice. It was Ivan. She wiped her eye quickly and looked away from him. "Ginny... I-I didn't expect to see you here... you work at a muggle grocery store now?"

Ginny glared at him. "Yes.. what are you doing here?"

He laughed a little. "Buying some muggle beer, I love it." he laughed at himself again. Ginny didn't find anything funny. She rang the beer up and stood waiting.

"Is that all?"

"Come on Ginny," his brown eyes were looking at her desperately. "I really missed you... You don't know how much..."

Ginny almost laughed at that. "That's right... I don't know how much you missed me, because I haven't missed you in the least. " She said rudely.

His face fell and she felt guilt in the pit of her stomach. She shouldn't have said that. She ran a hand through her orange hair in discomfort. She handed the beer back to him and held her hand out for his money.

He didn't hand it to her. "I love you Ginny." he said sincerely, sorrowfully.

"I'm sorry, Ivan." she whispered as she set her hand back to her thigh. "I don't love you... I'm sorry..." She really was sorry, Ivan loved her, desperately, and she wished that she could love someone who loved her like that. Not like Harry, he didn't love her, it was horrible to be in love with him, someone who didn't love her.

Ivan slammed the dollar bills onto the counter and left with only a whisper of, "Bastard..." Lingering.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ginny opened the door to the apartment she sighed and threw her keys onto the end table by the leather couch, without turning on the light. She pulled her purple jacket off and threw it onto one of the red chairs not thinking in the least about picking up after herself. Harry wouldn't be there, she knew that. She shoved her tennis shoes off and pushed them to the side of the doorway, she walked into her bedroom and fell onto the bed.

"Ginny."

She screamed and shot up in bed.

"It's just me." she heard a whisper from beside her bed, she couldn't see a thing though, because of the dark.

"Harry?" she asked in fright.

He lunged at her pinning her to the bed. "Damnit Ginny! You say you don't love him?" It was Ivan, he was holding her down tightly, just as she remembered Malfoy had done. She screamed and kicked, not thinking of anything else except getting away from him, not letting him rape her. She couldn't handle it again.

"Help!"

"I'm not going to hurt you Ginny." he said kindly. She didn't believe him.

"Help! Please! Help!" she kicked her legs against him but he was sitting quite forcefully on her.

"I love you Ginny, I wouldn't hurt you."

"No! NO!" she screamed, punching his chest as hard as she could, making no progress.

"I know how Harry's been hurting you." he put his hand to her cheek.

Suddenly she stopped hitting him, she lay completely still. "What are you talking about?" she asked in anger.

"Harry, I know how he's been raping you... when you told me you'd been raped, I knew... You don't have to be afraid, I'll take care of you, I'll kill him..."

Ginny let a sob out. "Get off of me!" she spat.

He looked at her in shock, he was very suprised at her answer. He had been expecting kisses and confessions of love. He quickly rolled over, off of her.

"You are an idiot!" she yelled. "Harry didn't rape me you... stupid ass hole! Get out of here!" She could feel the anger pulsing in her. He had no right to scare her like that. He had no right to follow her around.

"But... Ginny, I know he raped you... you don't have to hide it." he sounded truly sincere, which is what made Ginny angry. "You told me."

She rolled her eyes at him, she really didn't want to say this to Ivan. "It wasn't Harry, It was Malfoy!" she screeched.

Ivan looked shocked and then, very confused. "Oh."

"Please leave." she said sorrowfully, she was more than embarassed.

"I'm sorry." he said without moving.

"It's to late... Just leave." she whispered.

"But..."

"If you don't leave I'm going to pull my wand out and hex you."

He smiled a little. "I always loved that about you Ginny, your so feisty."

She rolled her eyes.

"Can't you love me?" He ask sadly.

She shook her head and pulled her wand out of her pocket, just in case.

He looked at her wand and then back up to her.

"But... I can't live without you." he moaned.

Ginny felt a bit of pity in her stomach.

He reached out to her and touched her arm softly. Harry will never love me... Why don't I just settle for Ivan... he loves me... so much more than I could ever love him... even if I tried.

Ginny let him kiss her. She was crying as his lips moved against hers. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

But Harry is never going to love me...

She kissed him back.

She heard her bedroom door slide opened and then a whispered, "Ginny..." Then she heard the door slam. She opened her eyes and pushed Ivan away from her. Oh no. It was Harry.

She heard him throw something in his bedroom and then everything was silent.

"Tell me you love me Ginny." Ivan said seriously, his brown eyes looking down at her.

"Leave, Ivan." she said firmly and shoved him. She wasn't worried about hurting his feelings anymore, she'd already hurt Harry's.

Ivan did look hurt as he slammed his fist against the wall and thundered out of her bedroom. He stopped at Harry's bedroom door and his face turned red in anger. "Are you happy? She loves you, Damnit!" He charged out of the front door and it shuddered as it was slammed closed.

Ginny slowly walked through her doorway and stood outside Harry's door. She pushed it open with out knocking, knowing that he wouldn't answer if she did. The room was a mess and the broken balcony door was hanging on it's hinges, opened. She walked over to it and saw Harry standing outside with his head in his hands. She stepped carefully out, without a sound.

"Harry?" she whispered.

His head shot up and he moaned at the sight of her and looked away quickly. She put her hand out to touch him but he back up against the railing. "Don't." she heard him croak.

"Harry... I-" she struggled for the words.

"If you wanted to be with him why did you ever kiss me?" he asked, sounding truly insecure.

Ginny felt tears falling down her face, it was a horrible misunderstanding. "I-"

"Why, Ginny?" His voice sounded angry. "Why would you mess with me like that?"

She pulled a ginger lock of hair behind her ear in nervousness. "I wasn't messing with you." she whispered.

He looked at her, anger still in his dark green eyes, the scar on his forehead evident.

"I didn't want to be with Ivan."

"What are you talking about?" he wasn't getting his hopes up.

"When I came home from work tonight Ivan was here... he.." Ginny couldn't find the words to say it. Harry still looked skeptical. "He wouldn't listen to me... he wouldn't let go of me..." These words finally got to Harry, he finally looked angry, as if he were about to storm after Ivan and kill him.

"I'll kill the bastard." Harry said gruffly and lunged towards the door, Ginny held back and giggle and grabbed his arms, holding him back.

"No... Harry."

He looked down at her and took a deep breath. She looked beautiful, her hair was messy and she was wearing the same outfit she had worn at the hospital, without her jacket,leaving a halter top dress, and barefeet. Her makeup was smeared down her face, making her look sad. He lifted his hand up to touch her cheek and remembered his hands.. the cuts... He winced and turned away from her. He heard her sob and then he felt her hands touching his arms. He closed his eyes, her hands were so soft... wait... why was she touching him?

She slowly ran her small soft hands down to his hands and held them loosely, being sure not to hurt him. She brought the front of her body against his back and he almost couldn't handle the niceness of it. She laid her head against his back and sighed.

"I can't be with you Ginny." he said, suddenly, suprising even himself.

It was silent for only a few seconds before heard her say, "I know Harry..."

They both cried, holding hands as the rain suddenly started to fall. They didn't move, they just held each other, crying, knowing that it wouldn't last.

A/N- I don't know about you but this made me cry. Tell me what you think.