Chapter 30

Harry woke up with a throbbing in his head.He could feel the dewy wet sheets sticking to his skin. He could also feel a hand on his chest, even through his shirt. He groaned and rolled over. Ginny was asleep peacefully. Her lips were almost smiling at him, plump and inviting. Her eyelashes were long and dark against her creamy freckled skin. He smiled a little, wanting to touch her. Her green dress was tangled around her, begging to be removed.

He moaned and sat up quickly, there was no way he was thinking about that. He sat, staring at the wall, trying to think of a better subject, one that wouldn't turn him on. He ran a hand through his hair and almost jumped as he felt Ginny's hand on his lower back, crawling underneath his shirt to rest on his bare skin, shivers running up his spine.

"Are you cold?" she whispered.

"N-no." he stuttered nervously. She sat up in bed her hand slipping from his back. He looked at her, his eyes like a little boy's. Big, nervous, and excited at the same time. She smiled at put her hands on his cheeks, pulling his face close to hers. She first kissed his nose, then his eyes and then slowly down to his lips. He didn't want to let go as he felt her lips, smooth and caressing on his, begging him to be her's. And he wanted to be.

Her hands snaked up to the collar of his shirt, unbuttoning carefully, not in a rush at all. Harry didn't stop kissing her, much to his mind's dismay, he even kissed her more, holding her hips firmly. He could feel her gently hands on the skin of his chest and he let out a moan and quickly stood up in embarassment.

Ginny wasn't smiling or frowning up at him from the mattress, she was just watching him, wondering what he would do.

Harry could feel a sweat break out on his forehead. Why did things have to be so complex... he only wanted to keep her safe... He needed to finish his job without any distraction... and Ginny was definately a distraction.

Her dark brown eyes were piercing. He couldn't look away from them.

"I know what your going to say Harry." she said calmly. "I think you a bloody ass if your going to say it." she stood up and walked from his bedroom, knowing that once again, he would tell her "no". She was so tired of hearing it. Even after Ivan, she just didn't see how she could stay, chasing Harry for the rest of her life.

"Ginny." Harry mumbled and followed her into her bedroom.

She pulled an old brown suitcase out of the closet and placed it on the bed with a thud. "I have to go." she said without an explanation.

"W-What do you mean?" he sounded shocked. He walked to the bed, standing next to her.

She looked up at him again, the same brown eyes locking with his green eyes. "I can't do it anymore." she mumbled and walked to the closet, pulling out a pair of high heeled shoes.

"Can't do what anymore?" he asked as he took the shoes from her and set them back in the closet.

She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Don't."

"Don't what?" he asked angrily. "Don't love you?"

They both stood in shock. He hadn't meant to say that... he definately hadn't meant to say that. Harry shoved his hand through his hair, trying to avoid her eyes. Ginny was blushing and inside her mind was reeling.

Had he just said that? Did he just say that he loved her, or did she imagine it?

She rushed back to the closet, for lack of anything better to do, she couldn't catch her breath. She pulled her red high heels out of the closet clumsily and walked back to her suitcase. Harry was standing next to it, looking down at her. She couldn't look at him, she knew that she would cry. He pulled the shoes from her hands and held them in his fist.

"Ginny."

She looked at him and tried to grab her shoes back. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

If Harry did love her why did he keep leaving her? Why did he kiss her? She ripped the shoes out of his hands and shoved them into her bag uncerimoniously. Ginny couldn't hold back the tears much longer.

She trudged into the bathroom and pulled her shampoo out of the shower and walked out back into the room where Harry was still standing, looking shocked and confused.

"Ginny... I..." he couldn't speak.

"I wish you wouldn't have said that just to make me stay."

Harry was shocked. "I didn't."

She looked up at him again and saw how serious he looked, it upset her even more. He couldn't.

"I..." Harry's face was turning as red as a beet. "I meant it." he mumbled.

Ginny couldn't comprehend what he was saying. "Damnit Harry!" she shouted and threw her red high heels against the wall, chipping the smooth paint.

"I... I want to be with you..."

She sobbed and fell onto the floor, covering her face. "Don't. If you meant it you would have told me a long time ago."

"I couldn't... I still can't." he sighed and kneeled down next to her, softly touching her hair.

She just cried, holding her head in her hands. "I'm not going to say it." she said stubbornly. "You can't do this to me anymore."

"I know." Harry said calmly, reassuringly as he slid his fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry Ginny."

She sat up straight as if he had said something very offensive to her. Her eyes were tear-stained. "Why can't we be together? It has to be a damn good reason."

"It is." he whispered, holding her hands gently against his. I love her to much... it's not safe... "Do you know what happened to my mother Ginny? She was a good witch, she loved my dad, she did what she thought was right. That doesn't mean she lived happily ever after. She died!" he ended in exasperation.

Ginny's eyes didn't register for a moment. "You can't be serious. You think that your mother would have given up the love that she had with you and your dad, just to be alive?" she asked indignately.

"I-" Harry stuttered, a little shocked at the revelation.

"Life isn't about doing what's safe, It's about taking chances, being with the people you love."

"I- Ginny... I, don't want you to get hurt." he whispered, using it as a last resource.

Ginny's face softened, she held his hands tighter and kissed his cheek tenderly. Finally she looked straight into his eyes. "I would rather die with you than live a long life wishing I were with you." she whispered.

Harry sobbed, finally understanding. He grasped Ginny by her arms and pulled her close to him, they both cried.

"What's going to happen?" Ginny finally asked.

"I don't know... I have to kill Voldermort first... before we get anything started."

Ginny laughed at that. "We already have started something."

He smiled weakly and nodded. "I meant... before.. before I ask you to marry me... or... anything." he said nervously.

Ginny smiled and leaned in to kiss him. He kissed her back, knowing that right then, that's all he cared about, and that scared him.

"Harry... I love you." she sighed.

A/N- Finally! Don't give up. there is still more to go. Tell me what you think ! I know you will. Lots of love, SLOANE.