(It's been ages I know, but this chapter has just taken me forever, I know it's not all that you would expect of a chapter that took months to write, I didn't have much inspiration with it until just today, But I'm glad, I think this chapter turned out quite well. Thank you all so much, I hope that you still remember my story, and I promise to update the next chapter really soon, I swear!)
Chapter 32
Ginny went to work as usual. She didn't know why, she just went on, the same way she always did. Even though Harry, the man she loved, might be dying. He had told her to be safe. She might as well obey him.
She couldn't think of anything else, Harry was always in her thoughts. She sat in the check out line as a little girl with chestnut hair walked up to check out counter with her mother behind her.
The little girl looked up at Ginny with a shy smile. Her mother looked angry and impatient as she pushed the cart. Ginny smiled back at the little girl.
She checked the toilet paper and the apples and looked curiously towards the mother, but finally lost her interest when she gave her a dirty look.
The mother took her leather purse and clomped out of the store in her stilletoes.
Ginny just rolled her eyes and felt bad for the little girl. She'd always wanted to have a daughter, she wanted sons to of course. Being a girl herself and not having any sisters had made her want a little girl badly. Especially since she had heard Harry talking about Ron and Hermione's baby as a girl. A baby girl with bright eyes and curly hair, smiling and laying on her fuzzy pink blanket. Ginny desperately wanted a daughter.
And she was despaired in thinking that Harry might never have one. That she and Harry might never have a daughter together. And she would never have on without him. She would never marry if he didn't come back, she knew that.
She just shook her head and felt the tears falling, what a suprise, she thought bitterly. When was she not crying since Harry left, a few days before?
She ran a hand through her recently washed hair. It was clean and she'd suprised herself by not collapsing in the shower, in tears. Her eyes had been a bit dry. She had been angry instead of depressed. She was angry at Voldermort, and if he killed Harry, she would be sure to kill him. There was no doubt in her mind that she would kill Lord Voldermort if he did anything to harm Harry, to ruin their future together.
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Ginny's hands were cold as she walked home, trudging through the snow, she could've taken a cab, she knew that, but she didn't have money for that. She had to save.
She was wearing boots that went halfway up her calves and she was wearing a longer skirt and a warm turtle neck and large coat, she was quite warm, except her thighs which kept getting large drafts off air, nipping at her skin.
It wasn't to far back to the apartment, and she got back before long and slowly walked up the stairs, She was in no hurry, why would she want to be home any more than anywhere else. There was no one there for her.
She had thought about going home, to the burrow, but decided against it. What if Harry did come back? She needed to have hope that he would come back, but she couldn't! What if he died, what if he was gone then it would hurt so much more, wouldn't it? She couldn't hope that he would come back. But she would sit at his apartment, just waiting, waiting for news either way.
She threw her purse on the couch and pulled her boots off, her coat came next, falling to the floor, without a thought about it.
She walked into the bathroom and pulled her sweater and skirt off and dropped them to the floor, and pulled on some sweat pants and and walked into Harry's room. She opened his armoir and pulled a button up shirt out of the drawer and slid it on. It smelled like Harry, husky and manly, she loved the smell and burrowed her face into the soft fabric.
Her feet felt cold as they met the sheets of his bed. Shivering, she pulled the blankets up and over her so his smell was everywhere.
Her vision clouded her eyes were covered in a waterfall of tears. She couldn't see at all after a few moments, and she gave up and fell asleep.
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The dream was horrible, it was the worst dream Ginny had ever had, because it could have been real.
Harry was on the ground, in pain, moaning. He was in some sort of cemetary, like the one Harrry had told her that Voldermort had met him in the Tri-wizard Tournament to try to kill him, and killed Cedric.
He was tied to a gravestone, but lying on the ground in pain. His eyes were opened, looking towards her. They were piercing and it scared her more than anything else.
Then she saw Voldermort. His face was ugly and contorted, but she knew it was him, He was angry and yelling at Harry.
"Did you think that you would get away with this Harry Potter!" He spat the words at him. "Your parents died, what made you think that you would live?"
Harry just moaned and tried to roll over. Ginny felt anger in her self at seeing him in such pain.
"You think that you could humiliate the great Lord Voldermort!" he paused and his face grew deeper in anger, his yellow cat eyes were frightening. "You will die the most painful death of anyone, Harry Potter... your parents know nothing of the pain you will face... The Longbottoms... nothing... nothing, you will feel pain beyond anything they know, they who I tortured to insanity, you will feel much worse!"
"Oh." Harry breathed, gasping for air, feeling pain already.
Voldermort took out his wand, the twin wand to Harry's, and thrust it into the air in front of Harry yelling a spell that Ginny didn't recognize.
Harry's body shook and twitched in pain, and he screamed, it was a choked scream, coming from deep within him, and Ginny suddenly shot up in bed, crying in fear and fright.
She was gasping for air and she couldn't stop crying.
Then out of the corner of her eye she saw a white envelope on the floor, it had slipped from inside the armoir when she had gotten his shirt out. She stood quickly, still sobbing and picked up the envelope and opened it to find a scribbled on page, Harry had never had the best handwriting.
But she read it in anticipation, eager for some connection to him.
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Ginny,
I'm gone now, dead maybe, or close to it. I'm almost sure that I will die. But I don't want you to be sad Ginny, I know that you will. I know that you love me, and that's why it hurt me so bad to leave, because I knew that I would be hurting you, you who I love more than anything else. I love you more than living, I love you more than breathing. That's why I'm leaving, to make this world safer for you, you may not understand that. I know we may not have children or live together in a little house, or live to be 89 together. I know that probably won't happen. But I desperately want it to. I want to be with you forever.
But I know that there is something more important here. How can there be anything more important than you? There isn't. The only reason I do anything is for you. The world is for you, the air is for you, the sky is blue for you. I don't know any way to explain how I feel about you other than that.
I want you to be happy knowing that Voldermort killed me, and I died trying to save something good. Maybe it didn't make a difference, I don't know.
All I know is nothing good sarcificed goes unnoticed, and our love is good.
Can you do one thing for me? I want you to get married to someone, marry someone wonderful, someone who would be my best friend. Maybe Dean Thomas is still around. Who knows. I want you to marry and name your first son after me. Please, that's all I ask. I know that you'll do it for me. I wish that you could have my child, but I would never leave you like that without me to raise a child. I know that's not possible, but I still wish. I always wanted a daughter with red hair just like my mother, just like you.
Please tell Ron and Hermione, your family, that I'm sorry, tell them how I died. I want them to know.
If I never come back I hope you know above all, one thing, I love you.
Loving you, painfully, eternally,
Harry
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Ginny sobbed and couldn't control her emotions, she had never felt so... raw and hurt, but so loved at the same time.
Suddenly as she thought of Harry, and where he might be, she thought back to her dream and felt a tight, sharp pain in her chest. Harry was hurting, she could tell, she could feel his pain.
It was the worst pain, mostly because she knew that harry was hurt, that he might be dying at that very moment.
She tripped on her boots as she pulled herself out of the apartment, she didn't know where she would look, she didn't know what she should do.
Harry had told her to stay, get married to someone else, but she couldn't, knowing that she might, somehow be able to help him, or even just die with him.