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Chapter 8

" Well lets go see what's in the frig" Natalie told Aiden as she got up off the couch, she looked at John briefly and then walked with her son into the kitchen to see what there was to drink.

John was sitting on the couch trying, trying so desperately to figure out what the hell he was doing, he almost kissed he. He couldn't do that, as much as he wanted to, he knew it wasn't the time or the place for that. As good as he was sure it would feel, feel to have her lips on his again, to be able to touch her again, hold her. He quickly stopped himself from his thoughts before he got himself to excited, too excited and before he forgot, forgot that he was still mad at her, sort of, not the way she was now, now she couldn't remember what she did by keeping their son a secret from him but when she got her memory back, she would remember it, doing it, but...

John thought some more about what she did, the little things she did, she could have easily named Darren as the boys father on his Birth Certificate, but she didn't, she told Bo to make sure I knew about my son if anything happened to her, both Bo and Darren told him she looked for him, he was undercover and was pretty hard to find, even his own brother didn't know where to find him and they lost touch. Could he forgive her, forgive for deceiving him.

Natalie walked out of the kitchen with Aiden, she was saying something to him, they were both smiling. Natalie was carrying three cups of milk and Aiden had a bag of Chocolate chip cookies. He watched them and his heart started to melt, all the bitterness was gone, he loved them, both of them, what else could he do but forgive her.

"Aiden go ask John if he wants some milk and cookies"

"I'm sorry Buddy, I guess you don't know his name, don't worry I just learned it myself"

"He knows my name" John told her as he walked over to the cocktail table, he moved down on the floor with them and took a cup of milk and a few cookies.

"He does?"

"Yeah...I... I was the one who found you when you.. had your accident, I brought him to the hospital"

"Yeah, what... what were you doing there?" Natalie asked and John realized they must have been keeping the kidnapping from her, they probably didn't want her to get upset by it, or feel like she had to remember, but she needed to know, didn't she? He had once kept something from her; something of great importance and it had caused their relationship to suffer. Who was he kidding, that wasn't what their relationship was suffering from back then, he was the problem, and he knew all along he was.

"John, hello John, what were you doing at my house when I had my accident?"

"It's not important, we can talk about it another time," John told her as he smiled at Aiden and started to eat his cookies.

John and Nat along with Aiden spent a nice day together; the three of them joked and played trains most of the day. Somewhere about six o'clock they were all starving, it was dinner time, Vicki had called from the house and asked them to eat at Llanfair but Natalie just didn't feel like it, she knew the family would be there and it would bother her to be there and not remember what was going on in everyone's lives.

"Hey, you hungry? I can make you and the kid something?" John told her as he realized the time.

"No, that's okay, I'll fix us something, you can go if you want" Natalie told him not wanting him to leave but she didn't know if maybe he had somewhere to be, someone to be with, something to do, she couldn't remember him, remember what he was about, who he was, she did however feel something for him, a connection, and she wondered if it was because they shard a child or if it was something else.

"Why don't we go out, the three of us, let me take you guys out for something to eat?" John told her ignoring her comment about him leaving.

"Why? I mean.. don't you have somwhere else to be, something else to do, someone else to be with?" Natalie asked as her curiosity took over her

"No, I don't have anywhere else to be and I certainly don't have anyone else to be with, I haven't in over three years" John told her as he stood up from the couch she and he sat at as they watched Aiden play on the floor.

"What? I'm confused again, I mean... I don't know what I mean," Natalie said and he laughed.

"I haven't had someone to be with, or at least someone I wanted to be with since I left town over three years ago, three years nine months to be exact" John said and Natalie thought about his words in her head, she knew what he was talking about.

"Why did you leave?" Natalie asked innocently

"I... I.. I'm not sure we should be talking about this, it could be too much for you, we're not suppose to rush your memory."

"No, I want to talk about this, how could you leave, especially if we were ... in love or how did you put it, was in intense love?"

"It's so complicated, really, really, complicated, we ... were.. complicated"

"Why?" Natalie asked again not wanting to ignore the subject.

"Natalie, this isn't good for you, you'll get answers when its time now let me take you and Aiden for dinner"

"No, I'm not eating till I get answers, tell me, please?" Natalie asked him and she wasn't going to be backing down from this, away from this, she wanted to know, she had to know.

"I was pretty messed up back then, Hell, I'm pretty messed up still"

"You don't seem messed up, you're here and you're spending time with your son"

"I am, messed up that is, now I don't want to discuss anything else, nothing more till you and the kid eats, so grab your stuff lets go" John told her and she went and found Aiden's coat, she got hers on and they all got into John's car and left.

"Where are we going?" Natalie asked as she sat in the front seat on John's car as he drove, Aiden was securely fastened to his car seat in the back seat of the car.

"Rodi's, for a burger and fries"

"Yum.. I love Rodi's burgers"

"Yep, I know" John said as he smiled over at her, he came upon a red light as he was driving and he pushed down on the brake, he pushed on the brake but he couldn't come to a complete stop, he pumped the brake a few times but the car slowed a little but never stopped completely.

Natalie saw his face and saw that they weren't stopping at the red light; instead it looked like John swerved his car to avoid another car and continued to run the red light.

"John, what's wrong?' Nat asked as she saw him concentrating on the road.

"Natalie, I don't want to worry you, but... I think there's something wrong with my brakes"