Chapter Fourteen: In a Deep and Dark December
Boilerplate: Since I had a few PMs asking, I should let everyone know: I don't do lemons. My stories are rated M as a barrier against getting banned in case the language, use of alcohol and tobacco, or descriptions in the stories cross the line for a T rating.
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Snow. It was snowing that day too… Kitsune thought, making a face as she looked out of the screen for the tea house door. I can probably close up early. The public hours for the baths were over which meant that customers were likely to be few and far between. "Hang it up Nagumo," she said to the younger woman who was wiping down tables. "I'll put ya down for workin' a full day." Sliding the door closed, she walked back over to the counter. Reaching down, she pulled out her flask.
"You sure? You're gonna be all right?" Nagumo asked. On one hand she couldn't wait to get out of here and unwind… okay, go over the racing forms. On the other, Kitsune was acting kind of strange—even by Hinata House standards—for the last month or so, and was starting to let herself go.
"Yeah, go on," she said breezily, waving her hand. She unscrewed her flask and took a long swig. The first of many.
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"Kitsune's not coming over for dinner again?" Shinobu asked worriedly looking around the kitchen. She was in the midst of preparation. "This is the third night she's done that."
"Kitsune just told me to go for the day," Nagumo said, brushing the slushy snow out of her hair as she entered the building. "She's acting weird lately."
"Is she?" Naru looked up, bleary eyed. She had recently gotten over a cold and, while Mutsumi and the doctor had worked together to help her navigate what medications to take and avoid, it had been a rough week and she felt behind on sleep. Worse, she was feeling moody again. But Kitsune was her friend. "I guess I haven't been keeping up with things. Maybe I should go check up on her," she said, sighing.
She struggled to get to her feet… something that was taking more effort now that her abdomen had overtaken the head start her breasts had over it and was sticking out enough to make her feel—well, running out of animals to compare herself with—even more like a whale than in the previous months. Thank goodness we take time off starting the 22nd, she thought. While she didn't want to abandon the her teaching assignment with less than three months to go until the end of the school term—especially after missing a week from that cold—she was well into her sixth month of pregnancy, and it was getting harder to drag herself to school everyday.
Everybody threw themselves in front of her to block her path, a chorus rising volunteering to go in her place to spare her the risks of walking in the sleet. Lately, every time there was a hint of snow and Mutsumi wasn't here, everybody responded to her going outside by treating it like it was the storm of the century.
Naru clicked her tongue with irritation. "I'm not planning on walking over there naked, you know. I do have a hat and coat." She turned and thumped Keitaro—who had a goofy grin on his face from visualizing her choice of imagery—and took him by the arm. "And you can make sure I don't fall."
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The place was shut down for the night, but they had a key for the tea house. It was dark downstairs. It makes sense with Mutsumi staying at the Todai hospital for training, there "Kitsune!" Naru called out, "It's Me and Keitaro are coming in. Are you decent?"
"I'm up here in my room," Kitsune yelled. "And since when am I ever decent?"
Guessing there was a fifty-fifty chance of Kitsune being literal instead of teasing, Naru turned to Keitaro. "You better wait down here until I find out whether it's safe to come in."
"Right," Keitaro agreed. Naru didn't hit him anymore when his mishaps led to walking in on her undressed or accidentally groping her. But if he walked in on or groped anyone else, the Naru punch was still an effective weapon. Using the flashlight on his phone, fumbled for a light switch.
"Watch it! I'm a bit sore there!" Naru snapped.
Keitaro looked down and saw his hand had once again groped Naru instead of a light switch.
Shaking her head in resignation, Naru headed up the stairs.
Entering Kitsune's room. Naru saw it was a good thing she had told Keitaro to wait downstairs. Kitsune apparently had simply stripped out of her clothes because she was splayed out on the futon in her underwear—with a partially consumed sake bottle in her hand. A partially consumed cup of instant ramen, an empty flask and another empty bottle of sake lay on the floor next to her futon.
"Honestly Kitsune, you're going to catch a cold like that. At least put on some pajamas!"
"Hey, Naru!" Kitsune said unsteadily. On the TV was an old black and white show of three gaijin doing dangerous stunts and striking each other… sometimes in cringe inducing ways. Naru was appalled, but Kitsune was laughing out loud as she watched.
"Erm, what is this?" Naru asked, hoping for an angle she could use to talk to Kitsune and find out what was wrong. "It looks like a sadistic version of manzai comedy."
"It's an American classic called The Three Stooges. You ought to try it sometime!"
"I don't know…" Naru said dubiously. "I think using violence to get a laugh seems like a cheap way out."
"Is everything all right in here?" Keitaro asked, walking into the room. He stopped and stared at Kitsune.
"Get out of here you perverted kappa!" Naru snapped, punching him down the stairs.
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After Kitsune had put on a robe, she and Naru came down stairs where Keitaro had put on a pot of oolong tea. "Okay," she said. "I appreciate your concern, Naru but honestly I'm just having an off night." She took the cup of tea and added some shochu to it and took a sip.
Keitaro and Naru sweatdropped and exchanged a glance. An off night? "Umm, what are you doing Kitsune?" Keitaro asked.
"Just turning it into oolong chaihai," Kitsune said.
This is like the bad old days… Naru thought. No, I guess she never stopped being like that. But now it seems like she doesn't care what happens anymore.
"Hey!" Kitsune said, "you guys are acting like this is an intervention!"
"I'm hoping it isn't," Naru said, cautiously. "It's just that for awhile you seemed to be staying away from alcohol. Last month, when Tomoka was here, you didn't seem to have any at all."
"Well," Kitsune said, a little guiltily remembering the chocolates. Naru had no idea…. "You wanted us on our best behavior. So…."
"Yeah. This isn't a complaint about your behavior here. You're paying your rent on the tea house on time and, like we agreed, you can do what you want behind closed doors as long as it isn't disruptive." Naru took a breath. "But I'm not talking to you in an okami to tenant way. I'm just worried about you as a friend."
Kitsune smiled. "Well, thanks for that. I think it's just the winter blahs. I'm not sure what caused it. Just the last couple of years the end of the year always makes me feel that way." She looked at her oolong chaihai and poured it down the sink. "I'm sorry to make you worry. I'll make sure I show up for dinner tomorrow. You have my permission to drag me over if you have to."
"Okay," Naru said trustingly. "Well I'll see you tomorrow." She stopped and blushed. "Oh! Erm… I didn't mean that the way it sounded."
Kitsune laughed. "If you didn't say anything, I wouldn't have even noticed. See you kids later!"
Naru got up from her stool, accompanied by Keitaro and began walking to the door. She stopped abruptly and clutched her abdomen. "Ohh!" she gasped.
"Naru! Are you all right?" Keitaro asked, concern on his face.
"Shit! Hey, Naru… ya ain't going into labor are you?" Kitsune said, fumbling for her phone and hurrying over.
Naru looked up, an expression of smiling wonder on her face. "The baby… I think she just kicked!"
"Wow, really?" Keitaro asked, looking equally awed. He knelt down, putting his face down to the level of her baby bump.
"Yeah… there she goes again. See?" She placed Keitaro's hand over the spot.
"Amazing," Keitaro said, caressing the spot. "You're going to be strong like Mommy!" He then looked up with concern. "Does it hurt you when she does that?"
"Hurt? No, I definitely know she's in there flailing away, but it's not painful." She turned to Kitsune, smiling excitedly. "Come on, Kitsune! Do you want to feel it?"
"Umm, sure," Kitsune said walking over with a smile… one that didn't reach her eyes. She placed her hand on the spot Naru indicated, and her eyes widened. "Whoa! She is strong! Feels like someday she'll punch just as hard as you do."
After a few minutes, Naru and Keitaro took their leave to share their daughter's activity with the rest of Hinata House. Kitsune sighed and headed upstairs. She was happy for Naru, and ordinarily she'd be ready to celebrate. But her memories forced her to remember. I wonder what it would be like for me to have a baby. She put her hand on her abdomen, then brushed the tears out of her eyes angrily. Well, It can't be helped. I made my choice almost ten years ago. No sense worrying about it now.
Upstairs, she didn't bother putting the DVD back on. She just grabbed the bottle of sake and began drinking while her instant ramen went cold.
No sense worrying about it now…. She didn't believe that line anymore, but she clung to it all the same. Because if she didn't repeat it, she'd have to think about it.
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The baby's kicking had brought about excitement with the rest of the Hinata residents too. They all took turns feeling the kick until the baby apparently got tired and took a nap.
"Whoa," Sara had said. "We all knew she was in there, but this makes it seem more real!"
That was true, but what was made real had different significance for certain members of Hinata House.
After finishing up the preparation for dinner, Shinobu went upstairs to look at her personal mail and unwind before it was time to cook. She had received a letter from Pararakelse and, while she always shared the news with the others at dinner, she always wanted a chance to savor Nyamo's letters first. Things had been quiet since Keitaro had gone there back in August, and Shinobu was eager to hear from her friend. Strange how we never use email or texts.
She opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. Another envelope fell into her lap, which piqued her curiosity, but she looked at the letter first, figuring it would explain the second. The opening sentence was written in large block letters. EMORI JUST PROPOSED TO ME!
The letter continued with the details. Apparently, Emori didn't want to risk losing her, but wasn't sure if Nyamo would welcome his proposal after the tragedy in the Desert of Death, and was afraid that proposing too soon after would be seen as insensitive. But he finally did! They would be getting married in June. Everyone was invited and would receive Right now, since it was Summer in Pararakelse, they were heading out on another dig, hoping to repair whatever damage had set in when they forced to flee the site.
Shinobu simultaneously felt happy for Nyamo and envious for herself. She knew it was too soon to realistically think of marriage with Takane. But as her feelings and longing for him grew, it was hard not to dream and hope about him being the one for her. She hoped he felt the same way about her. Well, at least he invited me on a Christmas date, and to meet his family. She had a dress that looked feminine and sophisticated, but not revealing. She hoped it would look good for Takane's wealthy family. Some days, despite his assurances, she couldn't shake the feeling she was a rustic peasant going to a gathering of nobles… this was one of those days.
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Motoko sat at her kotatsu, glumly paging through her law texts, ignoring the giant ghost cat sitting across from her. Dammit, it's almost Christmas. What a time for Yuto to have to go to Seoul, she thought. He was on a business trip, and it was the big date night in Japan for couples. Maybe "Couple" is a bit of a stretch. They'd had a few dates together since their discussion the month before. They'd been fun enough, despite his tendency to make unexpected physical contact with her. She didn't mind it too much, and sometimes she even would have welcomed more. But sometimes it was a little uncomfortable.
Maybe it was because I still have some residual effects from catching my sister and her husband to be? Until she fell for Keitaro, she had a deep mistrust for all men. And now that she finally accepted that Keitaro was not an option, she was trying to accept that other men might be. Maybe ane-ue was right about my not knowing "mature love" being a problem. On the other hand, Tsuruko seemed to go out of her way to get her married off... sometimes in scandalous ways... so maybe she was just insane?
"Dammit, Yuto, what are your intentions?" she asked the ceiling.
The Kotatsu Neko shrugged and went back to drinking tea.
Motoko couldn't deny any longer that she was envious of Shinobu's situation. While Takane wasn't Shinobu's first date she ever had, it was her first relationship, and it seemed she had achieved great success... success she wanted for herself. She wanted to find success like that herself.
"What are your intentions?" she asked the ceiling again.
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"June, huh?" Keitaro said softly, leaning back at the table. There was a bit of a distant look in his eyes, and he avoided the looks of those around him. "I want to be there for Nyamo, but that would be hard to pull off." He turned to Naru. "You'll still be recuperating, and our little girl will only be a month old then. I don't know if getting the MMR shots would hurt her at this age. And if I went alone, I might bring something back if the epidemic is still on."
"Well, we might be able to manage you representing the Urashima family," Naru said trying to be encouraging, though she defensively put her arms across her baby bump. His concerns sounded plausible, but Naru thought she saw something else in his expression… a twitch in his eye.
"Well," Shinobu said reassuringly, missing what Naru saw. "Nyamo understands that we might not be able to come, but she wanted to share the news with us first." She scrolled through the letter. "Let's see… they're getting ready for another trip to the dig site since this is summer there. Artyom wishes you could be there for the discovery. Dr. Cha will be joining them after their daughter goes back to school in the United States."
"Really?" Naru said looking up. "I wonder what Mrs. Cha will be doing being alone by herself. I ought to call her…" she looked at her watch—the one Keitaro had given her all those years ago. "Well, maybe tomorrow. It's getting late over there now." She gave Keitaro a sly smile. "It's getting late…."
The other residents on the second floor sweatdropped and announced they would stay up and—coincidentally—away from their rooms for awhile.
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Clearing the jungle encroaching on her room in 301, Su looked over the plans on her desk. The targeting program for the Mk-VIII was ahead of schedule and she'd probably need to make a trip back to Molmol to give it a live fire test. The Kōanchōsa-chō was getting a little too nosy lately. Still, I should be ready to roll by Greenery Day at the latest.
She smiled in anticipation. Soon, my number two dream….
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Naru pulled her nightgown over body while Keitaro, basking in the afterglow, laid on the futon. They had been more active as of late because they knew it wouldn't be long before they reached the final weeks of pregnancy and would have to stop until after the first couple of months after. Of course, even finding a comfortable position was getting more difficult. For that matter it was hard just to sleep on her side any more. And I'm only going to get bigger, she thought, sliding into bed next to her husband.
"Keitaro? Mind if I ask you something?"
"Hmm?" Keitaro asked, rolling over and placing his hand on her baby bump. He caressed where their daughter was kicking away. "What's on your mind?"
"Maybe I'm seeing something that's not there, but I thought there was something else on your mind when you were listing reasons why you couldn't go to Pararakelse."
You noticed, huh?" He sighed. "Yeah. You and our daughter take priority of course, but there's another reason. I just didn't want to mention it because…" he looked at her uneasily.
"It's about Saito, isn't it?"
"Yeah, sort of. I didn't want to bring it up because…"
Naru struggled to roll over on her side and, finally giving up, pulled his head closer and kissed him gently. "Remember, I believe you were faithful to me in mind and body. So, whatever you were remembering, I know it won't hurt me." That's true now at least. I'm sorry it wasn't entirely true when we were fighting.
"Okay. Yeah, when Shinobu brought it up, I started reliving what we went through, how she was killed right in front of us. I guess it was another PTSD. I just started feeling some survivor's guilt and some thinking I should have done something different. And there was the fear that they were coming for us."
"Oh no!" Naru said, making a greater effort to roll over onto her side. Succeeding, she began to caress him, pulling him closer to her. "Your PTSD hasn't happened for awhile, has it?" She hoped he hadn't been hiding it, as she remembered how it had been when he had first come home and how badly hurting he was.
"No, no," Keitaro said reassuringly. "I think Shinobu just mentioning it out of the blue caught me by surprise." He patted where their daughter was kicking slower. "Time to sleep, kiddo. Grownups are talking." Looking up to Naru again, he sighed again. "It's irrational, but sometimes I hate that island itself physically, even though my friends are there, because of what happened. Does that make sense?"
Naru pondered that. "I don't think I'll ever fully understand what you went through… I don't think I can imagine experiencing that. But I understand that it hurts you when it happens, and I want to make it better however I can." She put her hand on top of his. "If you want to talk, I'll listen. If you want me to just hold on to you, I will. And if you need more from me…," she took his hand from her belly and moved it upwards to a different area, "I'm here for you that way too."
Keitaro smiled. "Well, I know it's getting harder for you to move, so I don't want to make you uncomfortable…"
Naru pulled him towards her, smiling wolfishly. "I think I can manage…."
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Mutsumi arrived home late that evening after everyone had gone to their rooms. The ground floor of the tea shop was dark, but she could see the lights on upstairs. "Ara, Kitsune? Are you still up?" she called in a voice that Kitsune would hear if awake, but not if she was sleeping.
Making her way up the stairs, she looked into Kitsune's room. The debris from a one woman drinking party was scattered everywhere. Kitsune herself was sleeping splayed out in her underwear, shivering in the cold. Judging by the appearance of her face it looked like she might have been crying. "Ara, Kitsune? Wake up, you need to get into your nightgown and your bed." No response. Kitsune was passed out, dead drunk again.
After checking to make sure that dead drunk wasn't a literal description, she rolled Kitsune onto her side on the futon and put the blanket over her so she wouldn't catch a cold. "Oh dear, you're not a happy person…." She sighed, wondering what would happen to her friend when she started doing her internship after she finished her degree. She'll destroy herself left to her own devices.
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Author's Notes
"She was well into her sixth month." In the West it would be her fifth month. In Japan, it's counted from the beginning of the month one was pregnant, not the end. So, in Japan they say a pregnancy is 10 months for the same time period.
"EMORI JUST PROPOSED TO ME!" Emori was introduced in my previous work, Barriers.
"ignoring the giant ghost cat sitting across from her" As you might have guessed, I'm a big fan of Urusei Yatsura. Kotatsu Neko made an appearance in Barriers.
"and I don't know if getting the MMR shots would hurt her at this age." If my Google research is accurate, the recommended age would be 12-15 months.
"I should be ready to roll by Greenery Day" April 29th. Before 1989 this was known as The Emperor's Birthday and, as of 2007 (the year after this story), it is now known as Showa Day. It's the birthday of Emperor Hirohito.