Chapter Eighteen: Now What Do I Do?
Two weeks later, Kitsune stood in the dock under the scrutiny of the judge. She was wearing a plain dark dress she had borrowed from Mutsumi. Her lawyer had advised her to look contrite. She didn't have to act. Everything here continually reminded her of how badly she had screwed up.
"So, do you understand what a guilty plea means? That there is no trial and I pronounce sentence?" The judge's tone was quiet, cool, and—to Kitsune—ominous.
"Yes, your honor," Kitsune said meekly, feeling everybody's eyes on her. Do I bow when I answer him? She decided to do so.
"Very well." The judge consulted the file in front of him. "To review. This was a serious matter that could have easily resulted in a death. However, that did not happen, and this is your first offense. We have no citations or other complaints.…"
Huh? Naru thought. There were no shortage of citations at Hinata House, many involving Kitsune being drunk and disorderly.
Su and Kanako shared a conspiratorial smile. Hinata City's municipal computers didn't have an exceptionally high level of security.
"In your favor, psychiatric reports inform me you have voluntarily begun a prescription to Disulfuram and have entrusted to people whom the Court deems trustworthy the authority to make sure you take it and the willingness to enact appropriate repercussions if you fail to do so…."
That's certainly true…, Kitsune thought. On the third day after her release, she had been holed up in her room, in the dark, when Naru stormed in with the Antabuse in hand and a bottle of water. "Let's go Kitsune! I'm not gonna let you get off of this stuff so you can drink again!" she had growled. Kitsune didn't take it personally for two reasons. First, because Naru was right that she had been tempted to try that and, second, because at around 32 weeks pregnancy, Naru was pretty irritated at anybody who made trouble. Not that that always went against her. Last week, Sara made an insensitive comment about alcoholism. Yeah, Naru really lost her shit over that. In fact, she and Mutsumi worked together to get Sara to see the inside of an alcoholism treatment center. That put an end to her lip. On that topic anyway.
"…Also," the judge continued, "of your own volition, you removed all the alcohol you owned from your house. These, plus the fact that both the pedestrian you nearly hit and the owner of the property you damaged by the car have both agreed to a settlement…."
They have? Kitsune thought. Selling off the alcohol hadn't netted as much as she hoped. So she gave the money she made plus what little she had in savings to Naru to distribute to everyone to reimburse the bond fee the others shelled out for. That barely covered it, but it left exactly zero for settlements
"…these all work as mitigating factors in the sentence. But, as the crime was serious and could have easily resulted in death of yourself or a pedestrian, there must be serious consequences." The judge cleared his throat. "The ruling of the court is: Your drivers license will be permanently revoked with no possibility of reinstatement, and the maximum fine of ¥1 million will be leveled. The maximum prison term of three years is-"
Everybody from Hinata House held their collective breaths. Motoko had warned them that the judge would start with ruling on the lowest consequences and work up. Kitsune found herself trembling as she awaited her fate. She steeled herself for the worst.
"-suspended," the judge continued.
Everybody from Hinata House let out their breath. The judge gave the gallery an icy look. "If you come before the courts again on an alcohol related charge during those three years, or if you are ever found to be driving again, the full prison sentence will be reinstated. Your income will be garnished until such a time that the fine is paid." He brought down his gavel. "Court is adjourned."
Kitsune stood there, stunned. Yes, the ¥1 million fine would be hard to pay off, but the fact that she wouldn't go to prison felt like a gift for heaven. Her next thought was, Now what do I do? She didn't mean that in the sense of "what do I do with the rest of today?" It was more of a question of what to do with the rest of her life.
"Miss? Excuse me Miss," a deep voice said. She looked up and saw the bailiff gesturing to her. "Please surrender your license to the clerk." He gestured to a man standing impatiently by the front of the court.
Embarrassed, she apologized and headed over. The clerk took her license and, after writing down the particulars, cut her license in half with a pair of scissors. "Please remember, if you are found driving, your suspended sentence will be reinstated. You are free to leave," he said coldly.
She wasn't sure if she should say Thank you after this, so she bowed and hurried to join Naru and the others.
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Naru, Kitsune, and Haruka went back to Hinata House, the rest went back to Todai. Ema and Sara were still at school.
Or she damn well better be, Haruka thought. A quick scan showed no sign of her, but that could mean she was good at covering her tracks.
She turned around to see Naru staring into room 203 with annoyance.
"Something wrong?" Haruka asked, hoping it wouldn't turn out to be evidence of something Sara did. The room was supposed to be empty.
"Well, I was just checking to see whether Shinobu ever had time to clean it for when Mrs. Park comes here next week. I guess she must be busy with her classes right now in this last stretch before the end of the year."
"I guess you'd be the one ta know about that," Kitsune said, having deposited her stuff in her room. I thought the final year was the crunch time though."
"It is, but even in her Junior year, she still needs to take her tests and stuff. Besides, now that she has a boyfriend, she has less time to devote to her domestic hobbies, and I don't like to be a potential stumbling block to her possible happiness." She sighed. "I guess I should have it professionally cleaned. I'm just worried that Shinobu will think I'm unhappy with her work if I do that."
"Well," Haruka said, "you know what standard you want for your friend. You know how much time is left. You and Kitsune can't do it," she gestured to her pregnancy and Kitsune's sling, "even with my help. If you think Shinobu has too much going on right now, that might be your only choice, right?"
"You're right," Naru nodded. "I'll make that call and let her know when she gets home." She put her hand on her abdomen. "Maybe I should order takeout? Eel sounds nice… and maybe some taiyaki with it?"
Kitsune and Haruka winced. I thought she was over her weird food cravings, Kitsune thought. I guess not.
"Umm…" Haruka hastily intervened. "Why don't you go and rest your feet and I'll do the ordering for us."
Naru's feet were aching enough that she was easily distracted by the offer. "Okay, meet you in the kitchen. I'll go set up the cleaning crew." She pulled out her cell phone.
Haruka and Kitsune sighed in relief.
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Since Kitsune was on the wagon, the unofficial bar was closed down. So she kept it open longer as a tea shop. It was still mostly a hangout for Hinata House in the evenings, but it allowed her to mend fences… and any money it brought in above expenses was going to help pay off her fine. Most of them were studying in a relaxed atmosphere.
"I gotta say," she said to Motoko as she poured tea, "some of the court stuff didn't make sense compared to what ya told me. They said I didn't have any citations and they said I made settlements. I know the cops were up here a few times, and I didn't have any money to make settlements with after I repaid everyone here."
"That was strange about the citations," Motoko said. "I was really afraid that the Prosecutor would use them to argue this was not a first offense." The fact that Naru had forgiven Kitsune, combined with the fact that Kitsune had (barely) paid off the bond fee, getting her off the hook with Yuto for any "understanding," made it easier to put things behind them. "Maybe there's some statute of limitations I missed? Or some obscure Hinata City law?"
Kanako and Su chuckled sinisterly from a booth.
Or, Motoko thought, maybe some idiots committed a felony that I really don't want to know about…. As for the settlements, she had her own suspicions. When they had approached Grandma Hina about raising bail, the old woman had snapped, "I'm not paying out any more to get her out of trouble!" At the time, they had interpreted it as "tough love." But now? Motoko wondered if there was more to it. Those settlements probably would have involved more than ¥1,000,000.
"Anyway, Kitsune…" she continued. "I don't know that I can do anything, but if I can help, please let me know. Naru was right when she said we're all family."
"Thanks Motoko," Kitsune said. "Right now, I don't know what you can do either, but I appreciate your willingness."
The door opened and Naru poked her head in. She first looked to Mutsumi who gave a small nod. Looking reassured, she looked at the others. "Is Shinobu around? I wanted to ask her something." The fact was, when she told Shinobu about getting the cleaning crew, she had just said "oh" in a flat tone and nothing else. She'd been quiet during the evening meal and then quickly excused herself. I guess she was hurt. I better find her and mend fences.
"She hasn't been in here, Naru," Kitsune replied looking up. Checking up on me again? Well, I got no right to complain…
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When Naru knocked on Shinobu's door, there was a startled squawk and an avalanche of soft items.
"AUUUU… come in." Shinobu called out in a resigned voice.
Sweatdropping, Naru slid open the door. Shinobu was working on putting a futon and pillows back into the closet.
That's odd, Naru thought. This time of night, I'd think she'd be getting it out. "Err… can I help you?"
"No!" Shinobu said, alarmed. "I don't know what's safe for you to lift, so I'd rather not risk putting the baby in danger." She got the things arranged. She then slid her purse into one of the folds of the futon. "If I'm not around and you need to collect my rent, you'll find it here. But please don't tell anyone about it."
"Umm, okay…." Naru sweatdropped, remembering that was where she had hidden her medicine before she had been discovered, and that must have given her the idea. "Is everything okay, Shinobu? You didn't seem too happy when I told you about the cleaning crew. I hope you don't think I'm unhappy with your work around here or that I want to change your rent arrangement. I figured you just were too busy lately."
"No, that's okay. I appreciate you doing that Naru. It is busier now. But that's not it."
"Oh? Then what's wrong? Something is bothering you."
Shinobu looked embarrassed. "Well, I didn't want to say anything because this Mrs. Park is your friend, so maybe she's not like that? I mean, I trust your judgment. But…" She sighed. "When I was a girl, my mom always had stories about how we couldn't trust Koreans… except she used the slur instead. She told me I should always hide valuables when they were around. And she had all kinds of stories about North Korean spies and kidnapping people…," She blushed with shame. "I thought I was past all of this now that I'm grown up. But when you told me your friend was coming, I just felt… afraid. I don't know why. I mean, I was never scared by Nyamo or Su." Annoyed by Su at times, yes. Startled, yes. Shocked, definitely. Not scared.
Naru looked for a chair. Not seeing one, she leaned against the wall, and put her hand on Shinobu's shoulder. "Well, I never met your mother. But I learned from my own psychiatric experience that the attitudes our parents give off—intentional or not—can be hard to escape from. But Hyun-Sil isn't a petty thief or a spy you know…. She's a responsible and devout person. She has a daughter who's a couple of years younger than you are and is going to college in America. Outside of our Hinata House family, she's probably my closest friend."
She hoped she was taking the right approach here. She knew those attitudes existed in Japan. But due to her own experience with non-Japanese (and the unconventional members of Hinata House), she knew that individuals were very seldom like racial stereotypes.
Shinobu nodded. She pointed to her head. "I know that here. But in my gut, I couldn't stop a flash of panic when you said she was coming. I guess that makes me a terrible person."
"Well, I think knowing you don't want to be this way is a good start. Maybe when you meet her, it will be able to help you overcome what's in your gut."
Shinobu nodded. "I hope so. I'll do my best. And if I still have issues, I'll try not to let them show."
Naru smiled. "Thanks, Shinobu. I'll try to support you the best I can if you still have troubles."
After she left, Naru pondered this as she headed back to her room. Now what do I do? She trusted Shinobu to do her best to control her irrational fears. But that didn't mean that she would fully succeed. She hoped the visit would not be ruined by this.
Meanwhile, Shinobu studied her little hiding place. She hoped Naru was right, but she found it hard to push aside all the stories her mother told her too.
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That evening, back in her room, away from the scrutiny of the others, Kitsune laid back on her futon in the dark and stared at the ceiling through the light of the moon, with nothing to do but reflect. So now what do I do?
It was hard getting adjusted to the changes. She knew she needed the boundaries, but each one reminded her of how she had messed up her life so badly. Having her life put on hold on the two weeks between the time she told her lawyer she would plead guilty and today; moving back to her old room in Hinata House, which made it easier for Naru to ensure she was taking her Antabuse; being observed by Naru, Mutsumi, or Haruka as she ran the tearoom. Hell, now the storeroom at the teahouse had a lock on the door now, and Kitsune needed one of them to unlock it for her if she needed something. Naru would get Sara or Ema—who were much more agile in crawling around than she was—to make sure nothing was hidden in her room. All of these were necessary. But all of them screamed YOU FAILED! in her mind.
She chafed a bit at the rules. Instinctively, she knew that if she rebelled against these restrictions, she would be tempted to risk the Antabuse reaction again—maybe even forgoing the medication altogether—and she knew the others would never be able to trust her again once they knew. That was a price she didn't want to pay. She knew she would get used to these things in time, and perhaps some day she would get to the point where she wouldn't need such scrutiny. But right now, it was hard to take.
At least the angry stares had stopped. Between Naru's wrath and Mutsumi teaching them what alcoholism meant, the others had become sympathetic. But the looks of anger had been replaced with looks of pity, and that was hard to take as well. Poor Kitsune, she imagined them thinking about her, she can't help it… we'll just have to live with it.
It might not be so bad if I could smoke more. But she couldn't do it near Naru during the day, and at night, she was in the room next door.
But no. That was just looking for a substitute for drinking. When she was forced to think about it. she knew that the main problem was finding a purpose for what she was going to do with her life… and having no idea how
Now that she was no longer hiding her secret from others, she wasn't able to hide it from herself. Now that she had told Naru and Kitsune, now that she couldn't drink herself into a stupor anymore, there were no more barriers she could hide behind. She envied Naru with Keitaro, Shinobu with Takane, and Mutsumi with her mysterious senpai. But, having a tubal ligation at 18 closed that path to her. At the time, she thought it allowed her to live as she wanted with no consequences. But now that she was almost 28, the party life was wearing thin, she realized her chances—worn out as she was—of finding someone like they had were virtually non-existent.
That night she cried herself to sleep in the dark, filled with regrets over what her "freeter" lifestyle had cost her, knowing she couldn't evade the fact that she had made the mess she was now going to have to live with for the rest of her life.
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Author's Notes
Like all of my chapters that begin an arc, this is shorter than average. It introduces the readers to the current issues. In this case, it's Kitsune's road to recovery and Shinobu's feeling uncomfortable towards Koreans.
I'd like to make clear that I don't intend to portray Shinobu as a racist. Rather she has been taught some things as a trusting child that she never unlearned. As an adult, she knows these things are wrong, but unlearning what was ingrained in her is hard. Her unlearning her attitudes is part of this story arc.
"the fact that both the pedestrian you nearly hit and the owner of the property you damaged by the car have both announced a settlement…." According to the lawyer websites I found explaining Japanese criminal procedures to foreigners, settling with damaged parties can reduce the sentence.
¥1 million ($9,630.20 at the time I wrote this) is the maximum fine for a first time offender. Three years in prison would be the maximum sentence with no injuries or loss of life. Obviously prison time would drastically limit Kitsune's role in the story, so I tried to work it so such time might seem to be reasonably excluded.
"Naru sweatdropped, remembering that was where she had hidden her medicine before she had been discovered." As told in Barriers.
"except she used the slur instead." I won't repeat it here, as I have no idea how offensive it might be for any readers who know Japanese.
"And she had all kinds of stories about North Korean spies" This surprised me when I was researching, but this was listed as one of the widely held Japanese stereotypes about Koreans living in Japan.