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Chapter 21

John arrived at the hospital within a few minutes after the ambulance, he had Aiden in the back seat in a car seat and Henry was also with him. The two men didn't speak a word the entire way to the hospital both very much upset about the night's activities, the activities that almost killed Natalie. John called Bo while driving and explained what had occurred at Darren's tonight, Bo said he would call Jess and the family and meet him at the hospital.

John carried his now sleeping son in his arms as he walked into the hospital along with Henry. John walked right over to the nurse's desk and demanded to know where Natalie was.

"Natalie Buchanan, I mean... Natalie Southers was just brought in by ambulance, I need to know where she is," he told the nurse and she looked at him.

"You're not her husband," the nurse told him as she looked at him

"No, I'm not" John told her quietly as he continued to hold Aiden as he slept in his arms

"I know you're not, cause I know what he looks like, he's, they're all over the local papers, I'm sorry sir, but unless you're family"

"He is family Damn it! Can't you see he has her son in his arms! Just tell us where she is!" Henry told the nurse abruptly, the nurse made a face and then against her better judgment told them where to find her.

"Maybe you should calm yourself before you alienate the whole hospital staff" John told him and Henry glared at him.

"If you didn't have the kid in your arms I'd tell ya what to do with Calm, I've been calm for years, years while that A--- hole, took advantage of things, manipulated her, me, the public, not anymore, I may not be free tomorrow but for today, I'm gonna make sure she's alright, that all of you are alright, I at least own her that" Henry said as they walked over to the exam room the Nurse told them Natalie was taken into.

John looked into the room thru the small window and saw Michael inside taking care of her, he walked over to the seats a few feet away from the room, he laid Aiden down on the seat next to him, as he himself put his head back up against the seat, for just a brief minute to regain his composure and try and decipher the last hour of their lives.

"Natalie I think you'll be alright but I want you to spend the night, do some tests and then if everything looks okay, you can go home tomorrow." Michael told Natalie as he finished his initial exam.

"What kind of tests Michael? I really don't want to stay here tonight"

"Just a few tests on you and on the baby"

"But that's it Michael, I was trying to tell you earlier. I don't think I'm really pregnant, I... I mean, I think Darren made it up, cause I couldn't be pregnant by him, he had polio as a child it made him sterile"

"Natalie, you could be wrong, maybe he lied about that"

"No...I would've been pregnant along time ago"

"Yuck... you just confirmed that you had sex with that guy Nat"

"He was my husband Michael"

"Yeah but he was a jerk"

"He wasn't allows, not when I first met him, he helped me to try and find John" Natalie said and then she got pissed, the file, the file in Darren's cabinet, the file on John, it said he knew where John was all along, it also contained the name of the Dr who killed John and Michael's dad on the operating table. Natalie had read it so fast, but she could have sworn it said Paige Miller, then it also said something about having a lead on the shooter.

"Natalie ... hello Nat, are ya still with me here?" Michael asked as he saw her lost in her thoughts

"Sorry Mike"

"Natalie, is it... I mean... just listen to me alright?" he asked and she nodded her head yes

"Maybe you are pregnant, maybe it's just not... well not Darren's, have you.. I mean. You know what I'm asking Natalie" Michael asked flushed he didn't want to just come out and ask about her love life, whether she had slept with his brother was really what he was asking but he was getting embarrassed by hinting to it.

Michael saw her eyes widen when he hinted to what he hinted to, she briefly covered her mouth with her hand and looked up at him.

"Michael"

"I'll do a ultrasound," Michael said knowing what the look on her face meant

"Now Michael.. I .. need to make sure the baby is alright, Darren shoved me hard" she told him as she was beginning to get upset, she realized, finally realized that it was possible she was pregnant, pregnant with John's baby again. She lay on the table silent for a few minutes trying to ignore the emotions that were building inside of her. The emotions that were battling it out inside of her. The happy emotion that she may be having another baby with John and that he would know this time, and hopefully be happy to about it, then there was the fear emotion, afraid, two different types of afraid, the first was that John wouldn't be happy about it and the second, well the second was what made her most afraid. Would John run away again, would he decide with the new information that she had found in the file from Darren's cabinet, would he decide to leave her, Aiden, and now a new baby to go run all over the country trying to find the man who killed his dad. Would he leave again, and not come back, not come back at all if he didn't find any answers, if this new lead was another dead end.

"Okay Nat the gel with be cold" Michael told her as he started to perform the ultrasound to see if she was really pregnant.

In the hall John started to pace the floors waiting to see her, Aiden was still asleep in the seats and Henry was standing up against the wall outside of her room, he still had all the files that Natalie had given him in the house, she had told him to give them to John but neither of them felt much like looking at them, there number one concern right now was Natalie.

John continued to pace as he saw Henry staring at Aiden as he slept in the seats.

"You don't know how lucky you are do you?" Henry said out loud to John, he looked straight at him and uncrossed his arms from across his chest.

"Maybe if I was a different person, a stronger person, maybe I would've been able to make things different for them, different for me, maybe I could've had a chance with her, maybe she would've been able to Love me like she loved you, like she loves you, maybe we, the three of us would've been a family, but... but that was never going to happen, I was just lucky enough to know her, them, be apart of their lives for the last few years. " Henry told him and John stood silent, he wasn't sure where this was all coming from. Henry walked a little closer to Aiden; he touched his head gently not to wake him.

"These files.. One of them contains something I did when I was younger; at a home when I was seventeen, Darren... well he knew about it and used it to keep me in line so to speak. He used it for leverage so I did as he said and didn't ask questions." Henry told John as he handed over the files to him. John flipped thru the file folder for a second.

"That second file, that file is on you, not just you but your dad's murder, it... it tells about the Dr who botched the surgery, and... And well, why don't you read it yourself" Henry told him as he walked away briefly as he saw John read the file.

A few moments later, John turned to Henry and looked at him.

"I know it's none of my Business but... well Damn! It is my business cause of the way I feel about her, so I have to know, are you... are you going to take the information in that file Agent Mcbain, take that info and think it's more important than her, her and your son, are you going to leave again, and maybe never come back again" Henry told John and John still remained quiet, Darren shook his head.

"I just can't understand you, understand how. Why you just can't let them fix you, she, they fixed me without even trying and she didn't even love me. You just don't realize how lucky you really are, do you?" Henry said as he walked away from John feeling disgusted.