Chapter 24: Return to Nagasaki
Preliminary Note: This month's chapter marks two years (8/11/19) since I published the first work in this trilogy, Forever And A Day. While unplanned, it's fitting that Naru's return to Nagasaki falls in this period.
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Naru kept a deathgrip on her luggage as they made their way through Shinagawa station. The other three—Kitsune, Mutsumi, and Hyun-Sil—surrounded her, sensing her nervousness, and wanting to make sure no harm came to her in late pregnancy. Even Mutsumi was being cautious here.
In fact, Mutsumi had been surprised when Dr. Juse had signed off on the trip. Did I overlook something that makes me more uncomfortable about it than you? she had asked.
No, Dr. Juse had replied. Some women do show signs of complications at this time and, in those cases, I would refuse to give approval. But Naru is, to put it bluntly, as healthy as a horse. Just make sure that she gets up and walks once an hour during the train travel.
And with that settled, the trip fell into place. Naru wasn't frantically running around wanting to escape. So, they had time to plan. Nothing would be forgotten. She packed light, knowing that any excess would mean people getting upset with her… not to mention it would be a burden on Hyun-Sil or Mutsumi who would end up carrying whatever was too much. But she did make sure she packed a charger and phone cards.
Naru made arrangements with the remaining residents to keep an eye on help Keitaro in running the place.
"Don't worry, Naru-yan!" Su said cheerfully. "You can count on me to act as I always do!"
"I wish I couldn't!" Naru snapped.
It wasn't quite as extravagant as taking the Nozomi, but at least Naru remembered her JR card this time. And while Motoko wasn't here to play enforcer, Naru's girth prevented those who might be tempted to overlook her maternity mark from ignoring the fact that she was pregnant. The one drawback was, the trip would be longer as this was a Hikari train. Better than the Kodoma in that it made limited stops, but they still had to switch trains in Shin-Osaka.
They'd gotten tickets in a reserved car, which meant the seats were two by two, and they were seated in the front, so there would be no irate and scarred passengers glaring at her if Naru punched the seat in front of her.
Mutsumi surveyed the train. "Nacchan, I'd like you to walk to the back of the car and back once an hour while we're traveling. If that ever becomes difficult for you, please let me know, so I can evaluate you."
She's kinda worried, Kitsune thought. She leaned over to Mutsumi. "There's no danger, is there?" she whispered.
Mutsumi hesitated. "It's not so much danger as it is my book learning versus Dr. Juse's experience. I gave Naru the textbook answer on traveling six weeks before the due date. Dr. Juse thinks that doesn't apply in Naru's case. I trust her, but these differences are hard to get used to."
Kitsune bit back any smartass replies. Mutsumi was finishing up her graduate studies. She had barely got out of high school. She was in no state to judge. "Yeah, I heard of that kinda thing," she said sympathetically. "Like the mechanic who knows the shortcuts that the new hire doesn't?"
"In a way," Mutsumi said, her eye twitching at being compared to a mechanic.
The train pulled out, and Naru eased back in her seat. Now that she wasn't worried about what would happen to her life, she could actually enjoy the trip. It had been about 4.5 degrees Celsius (40 degrees F) when they boarded the train, and when they hit Fukuoka it was expected to be over 11 degrees (52 degrees F). Not the balmy weather of summer, but it was still comfortable in a sweater.
Traveling with friends made the trip much more enjoyable than it had been when she was alone, expecting to be a divorced single mother. She told the others about her trip back then, and Hyun-Sil made sympathetic sounds. "I had no idea this was between you when we met," she said. "I thank God that you reconciled."
Kitsune nodded. "Everyone felt awful when you left," she said. "Motoko and Shinobu thought they had driven you away."
The back and forth trips through the car were not as bad as Naru feared. Her legs held up well. The only difficulty was maneuvering her body between other passengers. Some of them were patient, others glared as they dodged around her. And when the car attendant wheeled a cart through, she had to back up.
"Beep Beep Beep" a young boy said.
"Rule 507!" his mother growled, thumping him on the head and pulling out a note book labeled Mom's Rules. "No making truck backup noises when pregnant women are walking backwards!"
Naru and the woman avoided looking at each other… though Naru did think they sounded familiar.
When the cart got to them, Naru didn't need it for her pregnancy, but she bought a Ginger tea for nostalgia's sake.
Kitsune was more hesitant. They were pushing natto and kombucha on the trip… both of which would be a disaster on this trip. So she just bought a bottled water and surreptitiously ate Pocky from her bag.
It took three hours to get to Shin-Osaka… a half hour longer than by the Nozomi train. That meant two walks to the back of the car and enduring the beep beep of the little boy. The third trip was replaced by walking across the platform to the train that would take them to Fukuoka. That meant switching over from a Hikari train to a Sakura Train.
While they waited, Mutsumi and Hyun-Sil went to look for bentō that was beneficial for Naru and safe from triggering Kitsune's Antabuse.
"I can just have some more Pocky and squid chips," Kitsune said.
"No, you can't," Mutsumi said firmly. She estimated Kitsune had gained close to seven kilos after she gave up drinking. "You can't live on sugar, you know."
So, they waited. Kitsune looked at her watch: 1:30PM. "So, about halfway done?" she asked.
"I think somewhat less," Naru replied. "Yes, it's a slightly shorter trip to Hakata station in Fukuoka, but then we need to transfer to a third train to get to Nagasaki. Call it four hours plus transfer time."
"Must have been a really long trip when you did it last summer," Kitsune said.
"Too be honest, I was so worried, I didn't have much of a chance to pay attention to what was going on outside of me," Naru said. "It feels longer now. Probably because of Mutsumi making me walk these laps."
Kitsune nodded. "I'm gonna miss her when she goes to do her residency. I wish she would have tried to get on in Tokyo."
"It would be nice," Naru said. "But she does have a life to lead outside of ours. I don't want to stand in the way of that."
Kitsune pondered that. "Making a life… something I never thought about until lately."
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It was about 6pm when they finally reached the final destination. Naru kept a tight grip on her bag and her phone as they disembarked the train. "Let's not get lost," she said to the others.
The others sweatdropped, pointing to the streetcar tracks and the hotel about 330 meters away. "According to the map," Kitsune said drily, "the monument is another 300 meters past the hotel."
Naru looked up the street and back down to the station. She noticed a koban close by. "My getting lost was completely avoidable?" she asked in disbelief. "Am I an idiot?"
Kitsune and Mutsumi coughed and looked away. "Well," Kitsune began.
"Don't finish that if you want to live," Naru said with a false sweetness.
Given the time of day, they walked over to the hotel to settle in for the evening.
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Hyun-Sil was up early… early enough to see Mutsumi slip out of her room and head down the hall. "Is everything all right?" she asked.
Mutsumi jumped slightly. "Well, I need to head over to hospital for my interview. And then I need to meet my, um, senpai afterward." She colored slightly. "I'd rather not make that into a spectacle."
Hyun-Sil nodded, having a good idea who was meant. "She does get bored rather easily," she agreed. "I think the three of us should do okay when you leave… though you might be wise to vanish before they do get up."
Mutsumi bowed in gratitude. "I will call Naru later when I know my plans better." She hurried away, vanishing around the corner moments before Kitsune emerged from her room.
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Even though it was only around 300 meters from the hotel to the hill where the shrine and St. Philip of Jesus Church were built, Naru was glad for the existence of the tram. That's all I'll need if they start hurting once we get up to the top. She wanted to find Sister Shakti and Misora, to thank them properly and give them a follow-up for their help.
Kitsune was glad for the tram, because she was just feeling lazy.
So, Hyun-Sil, who was ready to hurry to the site, bided her time patiently.
As they made their way along, Naru shook her head in disbelief. "I had to have been a real idiot to have gotten 'lost' here." The sign for the train station was clearly visible behind them.
"Perhaps," Hyun-Sil offered, you convinced yourself you must be lost and assumed that you wouldn't recognize anything?" She patted Naru's arm. "From what you told me, you were convinced Keitaro wanted to divorce you, you worried about your baby, and you were frightened by being robbed. If so, maybe it was easy to think I don't know where I am and that shaped what you saw."
"Well, that's easier to take than 'I was an idiot.'"
"Though not as fun to tease over," Kitsune grinned.
The tram reached the final destination, and people began to disembark.
"Hey, Naru!" Kitsune said. "Do you need a map so you don't get lost finding your way off the tram?"
Naru smiled and thumped Kitsune on the head.
Naru and Hyun-Sil followed the people heading for the Church. Kitsune found herself wandering around the memorial.
Naru still had no idea what to do during the Mass, but she was getting better at faking it. The reading wasn't a parable like last time, but involved the chief person of Hyun-Sil's religion teaching people despite needing to rest. Afterwards, the man in the robes spoke about how they toiled to bring their message to Japan. Naru didn't have any strong feelings about religion, one way or another. But the fact that these people thought it was important enough to die over was thought provoking… even flattering.
Thank you, she thought, for whatever role you played in bringing my husband back to me. She wasn't sure why she was doing this, or who she was saying it to. But she did feel like it was somehow heard.
Kitsune wandered among the monument stones, reading what they had to say. Apparently the site was built in 1962, a hundred years after these people were… "列聖." She didn't know the kanji, though the furigana said it was pronounced Ressei. But they had been killed in 1597. There had been 26 of them… 20 Japanese and 6 foreign. Other markers showed images of the boss of the religion visiting.
"Are you looking for something?" a gentle voice came from behind.
Kitsune turned and saw a tall dark-skinned woman in a nun's… costume? She wasn't sure what it was called.
"Well, I was just looking ta understand what was going on in this place," she said, gesturing to the stones. "They were famous for being killed?" They had been crucified and stabbed with lances after all. They were pretty brutal back then.
The nun smiled patiently. Even though this was a religious site, most of the visitors were not members. "Not exactly. They were famous for holding fast to what they believed when threatened with death for doing so. It showed that they believed something was more important to them than their own lives." She gestured to a nearby museum. "That will show you something of the things that were done…."
"Believing something was more important than their own lives…," Kitsune said, impressed. "I can't imagine it… I've been just getting by my whole life."
"Is there something you need to talk about?" the nun asked.
"You mean, you want to hear my confession?" Kitsune asked.
The nun sweatdropped. "Nuns don't hear confessions," she said patiently. "But if something is troubling you, I am willing to listen."
Talk to a complete stranger? Kitsune thought. But in spite of herself, she began. "I've always been one ta skate by in life, lookin' for fun. That's gone downhill to the point that I almost killed myself in a drunk driving crash on Christmas Eve. Now, I'm just existing until I die."
The nun nodded, no judgment in her look. "I see. Do you think that you were looking for something more? You seemed kind of wistful about the martyrs for valuing something so highly."
Kitsune shook her head. "Not at first. I thought I was getting more out of life by breaking the rules. But by the end, I think I was drinking ta drown out the fact that I lost my chance ta have what my friends got by not breaking the rules. So, I think if there was something more, I lost my chance at it."
"Forgive me if I misunderstood,"the nun replied, hoping to move her away from self-destructive thoughts of hopelessness, "but you feel as if there is nothing else to look forward to in life now? No chances to change?"
"I don't see how," Kitsune said bitterly. "I can't drink alcohol any more. I have ta be careful of everything I eat or drink. I had my tubes tied at 18, so I can't even have a family. I took a wrong turn and there's no way back." Despite of being embarrassed of doing this before a stranger, Kitsune felt tears roll down her cheek."
"Well," the nun said, "I can't say 'You should have done this,' or 'Why don't you do that,' because obviously I don't know you or your life. But sometimes, it's easy to think that because our lives have changed drastically, there is nothing left. People sometimes give up, or burn bridges because they can't conceive of another way."
"I guess that could be my problem," Kitsune mumbled.
"I'm reminded of a young woman I met last year who thought there was no hope because she was pregnant and convinced that her husband wanted a divorce. She thought her actions prevented her from coming back home. But as it turned out, her husband was desperately seeking her out. I pray for them, and I hope all has gone well for them when they returned to their home… er, is something the matter?"
"Y- your name wouldn't happen to be Shakti, would it?" Kitsune gasped, recognizing the story. I never thought of Naru's story having any ties to my situation before. Maybe there is hope after all?
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"I had hoped you were still here," Naru said to Sister Shakti. "When my friend, Hyun-Sil, said she wanted to visit the site, I wanted to come along and thank you for your help back then, and thank the ka-"
Hyun-Sil elbowed her gently.
"Erm, I mean, the saints here for their aid," Naru finished blushing.
"I am glad all is well for you. I remember how fearful you were when we first met, but you seem past that now. Is your husband well?" Sister Shakti inquired.
"Yes," Naru smiled. "He's currently guest lecturing and at the beginning of the next term, he's going to begin graduate studies."
"I'm glad to hear it, and glad to hear the two of you remained together," the nun replied. She gestured to Naru's abdomen. "It looks like your pregnancy is going well… you're expecting soon?"
"My doctor expects six more weeks," Naru said, practically beaming. "So this was pretty much my last chance to do this before our little girl is born."
Now that I think of it, Kitsune thought, Naru probably thought her situation was hopeless last July. What if she had given up like I am? It probably would have been the end of Hinata House as they knew it as the members split into Team Motoko or Team Shinobu… or just split away all together. Maybe I need to be more serious 'bout starting again.
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And so the end of the day found them back on the Shinkansen heading for Tokyo. Hyun-Sil was sleeping. Next to her, Mutsumi was bubbly.
Nagasaki Hospital accepted my internship application, she had gushed when they met back at the hotel to collect their belongings. I'll start once I graduate from Todai!
Naru looked over and saw Kitsune struggling to balance a notebook on her knee while writing with her good hand. It wasn't easy, but she was working determinedly on it.
"What's this all about?" Naru asked.
"Several months back, one of the magazines I used ta freelance with contacted me to write some articles in a sort of 'where are they now?' kinda thing. I've been putting it off, but now, after talking with that nun, I started thinking about stopping with just existing and trying to move on with living."
She toyed with the beaded necklace—it was kind of like one of those Buddhist malas though it had a cross on the end like Naru's necklace—that Sister Shakti had given her.
When you think things are hopeless, she had said, taking it off of the rope she wore around her waist, look at this and remember what we talked about. You're not alone, and things aren't hopeless. She looked over at the sleeping Hyun-Sil. I'll have to ask her to explain this thing, she thought.
"Something on your mind?" Naru asked.
"I was just thinking about how things have changed since your friend came," Kitsune replied. "She gave me hope, seems to have made Shinobu more mature about things, got Motoko out of a bad relationship before it started… her stay here feels like a gift from the heavens. A wise person doesn't turn away gifts."
"Yes," Naru said thoughtfully. "It was like a gift from the heavens when Keitaro found me there back in July. It's a gift I'm thankful for."
Author's Notes
"Just make sure that she gets up and walks once an hour during the train travel." This is advice for women traveling in the late stages of pregnancy in Japan. It's to prevent blood clots from prolonged sitting.
"But she did make sure she packed a charger and phone cards." In Forever and a Day, she forgot both and was unable to make the calls that would have made the trip much shorter.
"It wasn't quite as extravagant as taking the Nozomi" See the first story in this series, Forever and a Day.
"the trip would be longer as this was a Hikari train." The three Shinkansen trains are Nozomi (the fastest, with fewest stops, but you can't use a JR rail pass), the Hikari (more stops and you have to switch in Shin-Osaka) and the Kodoma (you stop at every station and switch in Shin-Osaka). Until 2021, you would have to transfer to another train at Fukuoka to get to Nagasaki. In Forever and a Day, Naru lost her JR pass and took a Nozomi train.
"According to the map, the monument is another 300 meters past the hotel." When planning Forever and a Day, I had no idea what the distance was between the station and the monument. So, when I did the research, I had to invent a convoluted chase with a panicked Naru to make her getting lost work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"The reading wasn't a parable like last time, but involved the chief person of Hyun-Sil's religion teaching people despite needing to rest." This is the reading (Mark 6:30-34) for the memorial.
"She didn't know the kanji, though the furigana said it was pronounced Ressei." Ressei means "canonization." I figured that Kitsune, who finished her education with high school, wouldn't know the meaning.
"Y- your name wouldn't happen to be Shakti, would it?" Sister Shakti was the nun Naru met in Forever and a Day.