(AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS JUDE/TOMMY SONGFIC MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. I DO NOT OWN INSTANT STAR, OR THE SONG What Hurts the Most BY RASCAL FLATTS. FLAMES WARM MY COLD HEART! TOODLES!)
(I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house)
(That don't bother me)
(I can take a few tears now and then)
(And just let them out)
(I'm not afraid to cry, every once in a while)
(Even though going on with you gone still upsets me)
(There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay)
(But tonight what gets me)
Jude walked around G-Major one last time as she gathered her belongings, all of the producers trying to convince her to stay, all except for Tommy. She still had not been able to find him among the sad, well wishing people following her around. Fear filled her body as she felt the tug at her heart to search for him, knowing that if she did she would relapse back into her 'Quincy worshipping' days, and then she was certain she wouldn't be able to leave. But her mother had sold the house and was currently flying around the world with her new husband, Sadie was getting ready to make her own adult travels, and Jude was moving far away with her father, who had decided she needed to get away.
(What hurts the most)
(Was being so close)
(And having so much to say)
(And watching you walk away)
(And never knowing)
(What could've been)
(And not seeing that loving you)
(Is what I was trying to do)
Tommy was watching quietly from a dark studio room, Jude's latest album playing in the background. He knew he would follow her to the airport without ever being seen, but he wondered what he would say to her, wondered what he would do. He cursed himself for being in love with her, at only 17. In his mind he called himself all kinds of things: pedophile, low, self-centered jerk, and name in the book. He watched her eyes dance across G-Major sadly, and wondered if she was thinking of him.
(It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you)
(Everywhere I go, but I'm doing it)
(It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends, and I'm alone)
(Still harder, getting up, getting dressed)
(Living with this regret, but I know if I could do it over)
(I would trade, give away, all the words, that I say in my heart)
(That I left unspoken)
Indeed, even as the clouds rolled and it began to storm wildly, rain beating against his car, he followed her to the airport. Her taxi had slowed down to a very unhurried pace, and he prayed that she would miss her plane. He felt his eyes slowly filling with tears as the thought that she might rush off came to his head, but he knew he couldn't let that happen. He followed her into the parking lot and jumped out of the car before her driver even had time to get her luggage.
"Jude," he yelled desperately, his voice slicing through the rain. She turned sharply to face him, and the rain looked oddly like tears rolling down her cheeks. It took him only a moment to realize they really were tears.
(What hurts the most)
(Is being so close)
(And having so much to say)
(And watching you walk away)
(And never knowing)
(What could've been)
(And not seeing that loving you)
(Is what I was trying to do)
He ran faster than he ever had in his life to envelope her in his arms, protecting her from the harsh rain.
"I thought I wouldn't get to see you before I left," Jude said softly, wrapping her arms his neck and hugging him tightly.
"Jude, you can't leave," he whispered, "I'm going to keep you here until you miss your flight and then you can't leave at all."
She knew he wasn't serious, but the warmth she felt in his arms made her wish he would promise such a thing. His finger lifted her face to him as he crooked it under her chin, and his lips met hers softly, both of them feeing the final exhale of the world as though it had been waiting forever.
"I couldn't be with Sadie, or another French girl, or anyone else, Jude, because I've always wanted you. I love you, I've always loved you, and it may be wrong, but I'll never stop loving you. I know you really do have to leave, but-."
"I'll visit, I promise," she smiled sadly, pulling him down for another breathtaking kiss, allowing his tongue entrance this time, but only for a moment.
"I'm going to miss my flight…"
"Jude, I don't want you to leave."
"I know, Tommy," she replied sadly, "but I can't stay here, not for now. I'll be back, soon, maybe even weeks from now, but right now…"
"I'll count the days, Jude. I swear I'll never let you go in my heart. I'll wait for you to return, even if I have to grow old alone."
Jude shivered in the rain and her driver reminded her she only had minutes left to board the plane. Wordlessly she pulled from Tommy's arms and walked away, and across the parking lot, never looking back. Tommy turned his face up to let the rain hit his face, his eyes closed, his arms going out to touch the raindrops as if they were angel tears. He stood there for what felt like years, but it was really only minutes, and he watched Jude's plane fly into the stormy sky. In his mind he prayed she would get there safely, and would return to him soon.
Jude swore, as she looked down at the parking lot through her window, that she could see a figure standing in the rain as if embracing the world.
"Good bye, Tommy," she said sadly, touching the window gently, and outlining the figure that, in her heart, she knew was him.
"Good bye, Jude," he said sadly, looking up at the plane as it disappeared into the clouds. A lonely feeling came over him, as if he knew she would never be back, but he also knew she would keep her promise to him. Lightning struck and he ran to his car, staying in it until exhaustion overcame him and he forced himself to go home.
(What hurts the most)
(Is being so close)
(And having so much to say)
(And watching you walk away)
(And never knowing)
(What could've been)
(And not seeing that loving you)
(Is what I was trying to do)