Thanks for your reviews. I am glad you like this so far. I wasn't sure if it was a great idea.
Once again I do not own any Seventh Heaven characters. Lyrics from Instant Star.
Ruth
Martin brushed by me and a few minutes later I heard the front door slam shut.
I closed my eyes before walking around his den. He had pictures of my entire family at various functions on his wall. I supposed that was because they were his family as well.
Thom's pictures also adorned the wall and when I sat in his chair, I saw the picture of us on his desk.
That picture was taken at the New Year's party that Sandy and Simon had thrown. I smiled as I remembered we had actually gotten along that night.
Although that was partly because of the champagne that was freely being passed around. We looked really great together as though we were made for each other despite the fact that we sometimes couldn't agree on what the color the sky was.
As I recalled Martin's words, part of me knew he was right. I did keep bringing up his mistake with Sandy even though I tried not to.
It was just really hard, and I suppose I never really dealt with it. However, how was I suppose to deal with it?
Plus, in all honesty I didn't want to record so far away from my family. I wanted to stay in Glen Oak, but how would that affect Martin and being so close to him?
Especially because Thom was very much a part of his life. I knew I wasn't jealous of Thom and I adored him, but a relationship with a man that had a child made it harder on everyone else.
Simon and Sandy were lucky that they had found one another.
As I walked out of the den and into the kitchen, I grabbed a second cup of coffee and sat down with my guitar and began strumming some notes as the words flowed from the pen to my sheet
I drift away to a place
Another kind of life
Take away the pain
I create my paradise
Everything I've held
Has hit the wall
What used to be yours
Isn't yours at all
Falling apart, and all that I'm asking
Is it a crime, am I overreacting
Oh, he's under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I've got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie
So what you had didn't fit
Among the pretty things
Never fear, never fear
I now know where you've been
Falling apart and all that I question
Is this a dream or is this my lesson
I don't believe I'll be alright
I don't believe I'll be OK
I don't believe how you've thrown me away
I do believe you didn't try
I do blame you for every lie
When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine
Oh, he's under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I've got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie
Oh my permission to sin
You might have started my reckoning
I've got a reason now to bury him alive
Another little white lie
Martin
By the time I made it back on my street, I was starting to feel slightly guilty. I hadn't meant to attack Ruth the way I did, but she was so damn frustrating at times.
I suppose if I was being completely honest I would admit to the fact that at times I felt guilty for being so in love with her.
I mean her family took me in and treated me as their son and I knew she could be with anyone she wanted, they probably wouldn't love her as half as much as I did, but she would make any man happy.
I walked in through the back door as I heard the last notes on Ruth's guitar before she started strumming a different tune.
You said you didn't need me (but you did)
You said you didn't want me (but you do)
It's kinda like a comedy
Well first you kiss me
Then you say we're through
I say you got some issues (yeah, you do)
Some things you gotta work through (really do)
It's sorta like a talk show, no wait a freak show
When the freak is you
I'm the smoke from your fire
I'm that guy you can trust
I'm the cord on your guitar
I'm that girl you can't shut up
I'm that blood you might need
In your car way in your speed
In that cigarette you breath
You can't get rid of me
I took a deep breath as I walked into the living room and when she saw that I was back raised her right eyebrow before continuing
You said I wasn't funny (but you laughed)
You said I couldn't drive fast (then you crashed)
Funny how it works out
With your big mouth
You'll always get it back (ha ha ha ha)
You thought you had me worked out (you're not deep)
Mister "I screw up" bounced (ha ha ha ha)
At best you could've confessed
That you're a big mess
And that you're so damn weak
Was she referring to me? I thought to myself as she continued glaring at me and singing
But still, I try and justify
Try to let this die
We'll never say goodbye I can't wait
I'll rub it in your face
Dressed in pretty lace
I'll send you home, to cry
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha I'm the blood you might need
In your car way in your speed
In that cigarette you breath
You can't get rid of me
Yeah, yeah
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha Can't get rid of me
Ruth then proceeded to place her guitar on the stand and looked at me as she said "Would you mind taking me home?"
"Look" I began as she tiredly held her hand up and interrupted me "Let's just save the song and dance for another time. I'm hungry and angry and I need to make a decision as you so eloquently stated, so let's just table it for a few days"
"A few days?" I repeated in disbelief before adding "So that you can decide to ignore me again? I don't think so. It's really an easy decision Ruth. Either you want to be with me or not"
"I guess not" Ruth shot back hotly as her eyes widened at the statement she just made.
I clenched my jaw trying hard not to react to what came as a shock to me. Did she really not want someone with a child? Was I reading the wrong signs?
"Let me take a shower and we'll go or better yet" I said as I handed her my car keys "Take my car and I'll get Simon to pick it up later"
"Martin..." Ruth began but I turned to her and said "I think we both said enough for today, don't you?"
And with that I walked upstairs, as I realized that I had just lost the one hope that I had been holding onto since the day I first met Ruth Camden, that one day she would become my wife.