a/n: sorry about the long wait, hope you enjoy it. Haha, guess what! There's a major cliffie at the end.
disclaimer: we don't own harry potter, or the song 'before your love', but I (pinocchio) did write the song that Ellie sings in the music shop.
this chapter written by pinocchio
Chapter twenty-four.
"James! Don't you understand? She's throwing her life away!" Lily yelled, it was okay though, because they were alone in the head's common room.
"Lils!" James yelled just as loudly, "You have to understand that it is her choice. You don't have a say in the matter!"
"But I don't want her to waste her life! Doesn't she want a career?"
"You told me that she said she wanted to be a stay-at-home-mum. She's happy to have a family, she doesn't want a career."
"I guess you're right." Lily said, he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her forehead, they sat down on the couch together,
"Why are you so opposed to starting a family young?" James asked,
"I don't know; I'd want to be like completely sure that the guy I was with, was the one for me."
"So you don't ever want to have kids?"
"That's not what I said. I said I don't want kids yet, I don't want to be tied down till I'm at least twenty-five."
"Oh."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah." James said, "I'm absolutely fine."
"You sure?"
"Mm hmm." He said, "I gotta go and have a shower, see ya in a bit Lils."
James walked up to his room and disappeared from Lily's view, she let out a heavy sigh, was he suggesting something? On the other hand, was she jumping to conclusions again? Were they moving too fast? She had a feeling they were, and it was freaking her out. She needed some space, but how would she tell James? He was the most devoted boyfriend she had ever had, but none of her other boyfriends had been obsessed with her for six years before they went out. Maybe she would have to talk to him about it.
Lily lay down on the common room couch and promptly fell asleep.
"I never lived… I never lived… before your lo-" Ellie stopped, and took her hands off the piano, "Why can't I get that note? Eurgh, this is so frustrating."
She was sitting in the Room of Requirement playing a large grand piano and singing. Ellie and Kat would use the room to teach singing lessons and practice for themselves, none of their friends knew about it though. She played the note one more time and hummed it softly, and tried again,
"I never lived before your- no I'm not going to get it."
"What aren't you going to get?" a voice asked, it was Remus, standing at the door,
"Oh nothing." She blushed; no one knew that she did this each week,
"No, you were playing the piano, I didn't know anyone used this thing, were you singing?"
"Maybe, how did you get in here?"
"Oh, we found this room in fourth year, and I saw you coming in about an hour ago, so I walked back and forth, thinking of trying to get in to the same room as you were,"
"Smart."
"Yeah." He said, "Why were you singing?"
"That's how I get my money, younger kids pay me and Kat to give them singing lessons."
"And you sing yourself?"
"Yeah, I write a little too."
"You do?" he asked,Ellie nodded, "Will you play one for me?"
"I don't know. I've never played them for anyone. I'll think about it."
"Oh okay. Anyway, the reason I came was to tell you that we're going to Hogsmeade. Want to come?"
"Yeah, I'll meet you guys there, I have a lesson to teach in ten minutes." She said, looking at her watch.
Kat, Emma and Lily walked down towards Hogsmeade talking about Emma's pregnancy.
"So, what do you guys think?" Emma asked,
"It's great Em." Kat said enthusiastically,
"Mm, yeah." Lily said, not so enthusiastically, stepping sideways to avoid a large rock,
"What's up Lils?" Kat said,
"Lily's not happy with me for not being cautious, she thinks I should have waited to get pregnant. Nevertheless, it's my decision and I don't want to wait until I'm twenty-five or something to start a family. I know what I'm doing." Emma answered for her, then turning to look Lily right in the eye, she said "The walls of Hogwarts are pretty thin."
"Oh my god." Lily muttered; Kat was walking between them, freaking out. What was she supposed to do in this situation? She was caught in the middle.
It was very awkward, they walked in silence though Kat tried desperately to start conversation, thinking that she would pay anything right now to be in Ellie's place, in the Room of Requirement teaching young Susie Shiner how to sing a scale. Even though the poor child had terrible body odor and a voice like a strangled seagull howling in the rain. Lily prayed silently for the ground would swallow her up, wishing that she hadn't yelled so loud.
"At least I know Kat, Ellie, James and Remus are my friends." Emma said, trying to show her disappointment in her meant-to-be best friend.
"I'm sorry." Lily mumbled,
"Whatever, I'm not one to forgive easily. Let's find Ellie."
They walked into Honeydukes and found the Marauders, who were coming out from the storeroom under the shop.
"Hey!" Kat said happily, glad as ever to see them,
"Is Ellie here yet?" Remus asked,
"No, she's still with Susie Shiner." Kat says, "The child is mentally deluded. I hate to say it, but after four years of lessons, she's a lost cause."
"Lessons in what?" Sirius asked,
"Singing." Remus answered,
"You teach singing?" Emma asked,
"Yeah, with Ellie. We have been for a few years now."
"Do you get paid?" Sirius asked,
"Yeah. 15 galleons for a one hour lesson."
"Woah, why didn't you tell us?" Lily asked, at the same time as Sirius said, "Can I teach too?"
"That's why." Kat said, "Because we knew he would want to teach, and that is not possible."
"Why not?" Sirius whined,
"Because you suck." James said bluntly,
"No I don't!"
"Have you even heard yourself sing?"
"Of course I have. I am awesome."
"You are the deluded one."
"Whatever." Kat said, let's go shopping!"
The others walked towards the door, but Remus hesitated,
"I'm going to wait for Ellie, you guys go ahead."
"I still can't believe you didn't tell us." Sirius whined,
"Get over it Padfoot." James said,
"I don't want to." Sirius complained,
"Get over it Black." Ellie said, walking towards them,
"Hey Ellie!" James said, the others greeted her happily,
"Hi guys." She said, Kat being the only one without a boyfriend who was in their group was looking very left out. Daniel wasn't able to go to Hogsmeade, because he wanted extra quidditch training for his match against Slytherin the next week.
"How about we split up?" Ellie suggested, sensing the hostility between Lily and Emma, and Kat's desperation.
"Good idea!" Kat said immediately, "I'll come with you and Remus."
"Okay," Ellie said as they walked off, "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't give a shit, as long as we get away from those two!" she said quickly, glancing back at the others, who were splitting up,
"What was that about?" Remus asked,
"Oh, Lily said something to James about Emma not being cautious or whatever and Emma overheard; and I was caught in the middle!"
"Very awkward huh?" Ellie asked,
"Yep!" Kat said, "Where are we going?"
"The music shop!" Ellie said happily,
"Cool, how was Susie Shiner?" Kat asked,
"Oh, she was trying to sing that song, you know 'all by myself?' She couldn't hit any notes, I swear my ear drums almost burst, I think next time I teach her I'll do the silence charm on her, or I'll just take ear plugs."
"Oh god. I feel so sorry for you." Kat sympathized,
"You ought to! But guess what! Her next lesson is on Tuesday next week."
"'Oh no, that's my day."
"You'll survive, let's go."
They entered the music shop and Ellie waved to the owner standing behind the cash register, "Hey Abe, can I go and see her?"
"You know you can Ellie." He said, smiling to her, she took Remus' hand and pulled him up the stairs, Kat followed.
"I've wantedapiano like this ever since the nun's at the orphanage started teaching me when I first started. It's gorgeous, that's what I use most of the money for, saving up for this. Abe said he'd give me a discount, seeing as I always come to see it every time I come to Hogsemeade."
She opened a door to reveal a gorgeous black grand piano.
"Isn't it wonderful?" she asked,
"It's nice." Kat said, "I'm going to go and look at the red one I saw downstairs."
Ellie sat down on the stool and made room for Remus to sit next to her. She put her hands on the keys and started to sing,
'I silently watch him go by,
The one and only, my life,
I put on a smile, a disguise,
A cover it helps me hide…'
She went on to sing the song; it was like it wasn't really her. It was like Remus was seeing a different side of her, a softer, less tough side.
"So what did you think?" she asked when she had finished,
"When did you write that?"
"Two years ago."
"What was it about?"
"You, before we started going out."
"She's being stupid, I never planned on having this baby, but now I wouldn't dream of giving it up." Emma said to Sirius, he nodded like the good boyfriend he was.
"She's being stupid, but it's her choice, she overheard us talking." Lily said, as they walked out the door of Honeydukes, James' hands full with bags of sweets.
"We were yelling; it wouldn't be hard to overhear." James reasoned,
"Whatever."
"You were being sort of unreasonable."
"I was not."
"Actually you were."
"You're my boyfriend! You're meant to be on my side!" Lily shouted, causing many people to stare at her,
"I am allowed to have my own opinion!" James shouted,
"But when it comes to stuff like this, you are meant to support me!"
"Lily, quiet down, you're causing a scene!"
"I don't care." She shouted, as James grabbed her arm and pulled her into a vacant, old, run-down shop.
"Why won't you see that Emma wants to have this baby, it's not like she meant to get pregnant! You need to understand that!"
"Well, if you're not going to support me!"
"Lily this is ridiculous!"
"Are you calling me ridiculous?"
"Lily! You are being stupid!"
"So now I'm stupid, am I?"
"That's not what I said, I'm over this Lily." James said, walking out the door, she followed after him at a run, her voice quivered and her eyes watered, "What do you mean?"
"I want some space." He said, and walked off quickly.
A lonely tear ran down Lily's cheek, and that was it. She thought she needed space, and he now that had given it to her; she wasn't so sure she wanted it.
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