Midnight Guardian Deleted Scene (Takes Place during Chapter 6)

Fear of Being Different

It had become a pattern for Harry to stop at the edge of the courtyard and inhale deeply. The early morning air always seemed to wake him like no amount of nudging from Professor Lupin could. It was nothing against Professor Lupin. The man was extremely understanding to the fact that this was supposed to be Harry's summer holidays but compared to Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia's wake up calls, Harry just found it difficult to pull himself out of bed immediately. Professor Lupin never yelled or made loud noises. His methods were normally softly 'urging' Harry to wake or gently rubbing Harry's back.

It was a welcomed change but it was something Harry had to learn to accept. There had been a few times that Harry had overreacted to a hand on his back because he had been in the middle of a nightmare at the time. Professor Lupin had been extremely patient through it all, never pushing Harry to talk about anything unless Harry wanted to. After his years with the Dursleys, Harry really wasn't comfortable talking openly about anything really. He hadn't actually talked about his punishments except for a few vague questions and those had been difficult enough for him.

After a few minutes of stretching, Harry started his run. He knew that eventually everyone's patience with him would run out. They would demand for him to talk. They would want to know exactly what his aunt and uncle had done along with how Harry felt about the whole Sirius Black situation. If they only knew. It was still hard for Harry to think of the helpful dog Midnight as a betrayer and a murderer. Midnight had always been so loyal, so sympathetic. He had been Harry's first friend that knew about the punishments. He had been the first Harry had trusted completely.

And he would be the last if Harry had anything to say about it.

Focusing on his run, Harry tried to push all thought of Midnight and Sirius Black out of his mind. There was nothing he could do about it now. All he could do was prepare himself so something like this never happened to him again.

Harry abruptly stopped in his tracks. Could he really do that? Could he honestly go through the rest of his life without complete trusting anyone ever again? Even Ron and Hermione? His best friends had been the only ones who had known before this summer how horrible the Dursleys were. They had understood but would they be as understanding to the fact that Harry had blindly welcomed a stray animal who ended up being the very person who sold his parents out to Voldemort?

He could hear their responses now. Hermione would scold him for being stupid while Ron would desperately try to find something to say. Neither of them would understand the need he had for a companion or would they? Harry was so confused. He really didn't know what to think anymore and he hated it. He hated that everything was so complicated. He hated his aunt and uncle for making everything so complicated.

Not in the mood to run anymore, Harry sat down by the lake and stared out at the calm water. He really didn't want to think about it all but the worries just wouldn't leave his mind. He knew that his sanctuary at Hogwarts was only temporary. Soon school would be back in session. Soon he would come face to face with Ron and Hermione. Soon Ron and Hermione would realize that something wasn't right.

Harry let out a sigh as he pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. He knew it was pointless to feel sorry for himself but it was happening more often than not these days, especially when he was alone. When he was alone he had the time to run through everything that had happened this summer over and over again in hope for some sort of understanding to how everything could have gotten so out of control so quickly.

A gentle voice quickly pulled Harry out of his thoughts. "You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Harry," Professor Lupin said from behind the teenager.

Looking over his shoulder, Harry gave Professor Lupin a soft smile but remained silent. He watched as his temporary guardian sat down beside him, knowing that the dreaded conversation was about to come by professor Lupin's posture. Returning his attention to the lake, Harry noticed that the sun was significantly higher than when he had started his run. He had most likely missed breakfast and was probably late for his lesson with Lupin. No wonder he came looking for me.

Professor Lupin glanced at Harry out of the corner of his eye before shaking his head slowly. "I know I said I wouldn't force you to talk about anything but I can tell something's wrong," he said softly. "I want to help you through this, Harry. Ignoring your feelings won't make them go away. It will only make everything worse until you can't hold it in anymore. Please talk to me."

Harry buried his face in his knees. He didn't want to talk about it but he couldn't bring himself to say no again to someone who had done so much for him already. "Sirius Black was your friend, right?" Harry asked quietly and noticed Lupin stiffening slightly before nodding. "He betrayed you too." Lupin nodded again. "How did you…how…"

"How did I bring myself to trust again?" Professor Lupin offered. Harry nodded nervously. "It wasn't easy, Harry. In some ways I'm still weary of it happening again. The problem is if you are too worried about possible betrayal, you risk the chance of missing out on great friendships. I wouldn't trade my time with your parents for anything. I wouldn't trade my time with you for anything." Professor Lupin slowly wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders and pulled him close. "I'm sorry you have to learn about this at such a young age. I wish I could take away your pain, we all do."

Harry closed his eyes, trying to fight the prickling feeling that usually came before tears. He let out a shaky breath and suddenly found himself pulled into a comforting embrace. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I will not let Professor Lupin see me cry.

Lupin rested his chin on the top of Harry's head. "Its okay, Harry," he said softly. "You don't have to be strong anymore. You've had to deal with so much for so long. It isn't fair, I know. Losing your parents wasn't fair. Being treated the way you were by your relatives wasn't fair."

"I know," Harry said softly.

Professor Lupin pulled back and looked at Harry critically. "Do you?" he asked. "Do you really understand that what your uncle did to you wasn't your fault? Do you really understand that they had no right to deprive you of food and work you like a slave? Nothing you could have possibly done justifies the way you were treated, Harry. You know that, right?"

Harry looked at Lupin in confusion. Why as he being asked this? Everyone had told him repeatedly that what happened hadn't been his fault. "I know it wasn't my fault," Harry said carefully. "Do we really have to talk about this again?"

"We've never actually talked about it, Harry," Lupin corrected. "You've listened to us talk about it but whenever we tried to discuss it with you, you change the subject."

"What does it matter?" asked Harry. "I know Uncle Vernon was wrong. I know it wasn't my fault. I just…I just…"

"You just?"

Harry let out a tired sigh. "I just wish none of this happened," he said softly, almost too soft for Professor Lupin to hear. "I could handle it when everyone believed I was spoiled by my relatives. Everyone already stares at me because of my scar. They're going to stare at me because of Black. I don't need another reason for people to stare and point." Harry's shoulders slumped forward in defeat. "All I've ever wanted was to be like everyone else. Is that too much to ask?"

"Being different is always hard," Professor Lupin said with a nod. "Harry, there are two types of people in this world. Those who are normal and want to be different are the majority of the population. They are the ones who want the celebrity status—their fifteen minutes of fame. Those who are different and want to be normal are the minority and probably deserve the recognition because they don't abuse their position. From what you've told me, you have certainly created quite a list of accomplishments already and you are only thirteen. You are not odd or a freak. You have a strong sense of morals and a very big heart." Lupin pulled Harry back into a tight embrace. "That is who you are, Harry. That is the person your parents would have wanted you to be."

Harry closed his eyes and slowly relaxed in Lupin's arms. It was strange that something so simple could make Harry feel so safe. He was still adapting to have a guardian that actually cared about him but with every day, Harry couldn't deny that he liked the change from how the Dursleys had treated him. It just felt right. "Does it ever get easier?" he asked softly. "Being different?"

Professor Lupin let out a sigh and relaxed his arms so Harry could lean against his side. "That depends on you, Harry," he said honestly. "As long as you see yourself as 'different', you will always feel that way. You have to become comfortable with who you are and accept your abilities and past. It's understandable for you to feel insecure but dwelling on it will only make it worse. I knew you still don't know me very well but believe me when I say that I'll always be there for you no matter what."

"Are you different too?" Harry asked softly.

Professor Lupin smiled at the question. "We're all different in a way, Harry," he said gently. "We all have a unique quality that makes us stand out. The challenge is recognizing that quality and using it. You have a strong sense of justice because of the injustices that have been done to you. There's nothing wrong with that. Truthfully, I think the world needs more people like you to stand up and do the right thing for the simple reason that it's right, not because they will get something out of it in return."

Harry had to admit that Professor Lupin had a point. Deep down he wished that there were more who treated others fairly and less bullies in the world. It certainly would have made his childhood easier to bear. "So if I start looking for what's different in people I won't feel so alone?" asked Harry.

Lupin let out a sigh and rubbed Harry's back gently. "You're not alone," he said sincerely. "You'll never be alone, I won't let it happen. No matter what happens, you can always come to me, Harry. I will always listen. I will always find a way to help if I can. I promise you." Lupin once again wrapped his arms around Harry and held him. "Neither of us have to be alone anymore," he said softly.

Harry looked up at Professor Lupin and smiled. Perhaps everything that happened wasn't so bad after all. If it hadn't happened, he wouldn't have Lupin as his temporary guardian and at the moment Harry couldn't imagine his life without the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor Lupin understood Harry like no one else could. They had a bond, Harry could feel it. Both of them had so much in common that Harry couldn't imagine feeling this comfortable with anyone else.

A/N: Okay, I know this is short but it felt like a good place to end it.