A/N: I am not JKR, none of these characters are mine. I am just borrowing them for a little while. I submitted this story once before , but it got kicked out- hopefully I got it right this time!
Dumbledore was dead. This was his bloody funeral. Harry still wasn't sure he just wouldn't wake up with his scar hurting, knowing that Voldemort was simply having fun with him. Harry looked at Ginny and saw everything he didn't know that he had always wanted.
I'm not a perfect person,
As many things I wish I didn't do,
But I continue learning,
I never meant to do those things to you,
He knew he was going to leave. He just wasn't certain of her reaction. Would she cry? Would she scream at him and throw a fit like he had seem in the past when her brothers were determined to leave her out? He didn't have a choice… one way or another he would have to make her understand.
and so I have to say before I go
"Gin, we need to talk."
"Harry…" she started, not even flinching as a single tear rolled down her face. Harry didn't know if the tear was for Dumbledore or the fact that she knew her dream was coming to an end.
"No, listen. I can't begin to describe how happy you make me. I know I am not good with feelings and stuff. But, you change me. And I like the change. I feel like there is a life for me outside of Voldemort- with you. The only problem Ginny…"
"Harry, wait…"
"No, let me finish. Right now, no matter how much I bloody want to tell Voldemort to kiss my arse, I can't. He holds the cards Gin, don't you see that? Until I play at his game, their game, the deatheaters game, I can't do this. I can't spend time with you pretending that everything is perfect knowing that my waiting is causing others to suffer, might cause you to suffer…"
that I just want you to know
I found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
"I am a big girl Harry."
"Trust me, Gin. I have figured that out," He replies with a wry half smile.
"I knew that you'd do something like this. In fact, I expected it."
"No one knows me better than you." He replies as he walks away.
I'm sorry that I hurt you,
It's something I must live with everyday,
And all the pain I put you through,
I wish that I could take it all away,
And be the one who catches all your tears,
With a second thought she calls after him, "Just so you know…"
He turns around.
" I will wait for you." She finishes with her chin defiantly a notch higher than before.
That's why I need you to hear,
I found a reason for me,
To change who I used to be,
A reason to start over, new,
And the reason is you.
With all the wretchedness of Dumbledore's funeral behind them, on the train a silent Ron and Hermione sit staring out the window. But for the third occupant of the car, his mind is racing, seething and raging…
'I have to stop him. THIS IS BLOODY RIDICULOUS! He's murdered my whole family; my mum, my dad, Sirius, Dumbledore… there is NO WAY I can let him get to Ginny. ! I WANT A FUTURE, I WANT TO BE NORMAL, HAVE A GIRLFRIEND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, I DON'T THINK THAT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK! I know that Snape has probably told him about Ginny, there is nothing he would like more than to ruin my life. For the first time in my life I know were I want to go and where I want to be- and it's bloody with HER! And I swear if Voldemort tries anything, I AM SO SICK OF HIM RUINING MY LIFE…I AM GOING TO BE THE PERSON TO KILL HIM…
and I am okay with that now…'
Harry knows something is missing, he knows it's her, and the knowledge of that is enough to make him physically ill. That monster inside is not only quiet but silently digesting the fear that he will never be whole again without her, but to put a name to that emotion would be like signing her death sentence…
Harry had already decided that if Hermione and Ron were coming back to Privet Drive with him that they would only stay one night. After that his promise to Dubledore to return would be fulfilled.
"Do you really think your mom is just going to tell you, 'Yes son, please go chase after Voldemort, Ron? Give me a break, she's gonna go nutters." Harry stated to the silent compartment.
I'm not worried about mum, I'm worried about Ginny…" Ron replied.
Harry's head whipped around.
"She's gonna go nuts that she can't go with us." Ron finished.
Hermione rolled her eyes at his comment. She knew that there was no way that Ginny would take being left behind and wasn't looking forward to being the closest person in Ginny's proximity when the three packed up to leave and planned on leaving her behind. Personally, Hermione thought leaving her behind was a dumb idea. It was no longer the Golden Trio, as Ginny had gotten older and Harry depended on her more than he depended on Hermione, she saw that they had become a foursome. She was glad that Harry had found happiness with her best friend. She only wished he realized how powerful his love for her could be, Hermione agreed with Dumbledore. Harry had found his reason to defeat Voldemort- and his reason was Ginny.
As she watched the country side rush by and felt Ron discreetly brush his leg against hers, she thought to herself, "Boys can be so dumb sometimes."
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As the train came closer to King's Cross, Harry could tell that the strain of what they had each agreed to do, to help him with, was weighing on their minds.
Hermione sighed," Harry we are in this together. We aren't leaving you right Ronald?".
"Bloody Hell, Harry. We are going with you. Mum isn't going to stop me, I'm old enough to do what I want." Ron replied giving Hermione a scowl for using his full name.
The compartment door slid open.
"I'm going, too." came a soft, steeled voice from Ginny through the open compartment door.
"No, I thought we discussed this." stated Harry.
" I know we did, but I find that I really don't care." She stated right back in the same stubborn tone. And she plopped down next to Harry leaving no space for him to slide over.
"Ginny," Harry started.
"No, Harry," came the soft voice of Hermione,"she's one of us now. Leave her be. She has every right and you know it."
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
He did know it, but that didn't mean that once they got off the train he wasn't going to take her to task about it. He had no intentions of putting the woman he loved in harms way. She was the reason he would beat Voldemort. He understood it now. The voice of Dumbledore came to him and for once, he finally understood.
Love was not a stupid, useless weapon as he once thought. It was the strongest feeling in the world, he knew his mum loved him, but the true lengths that she would go for him, now made Harry feel humbled; as he would gladly die for Ginny and not think twice about it.
I found a reason to show,
A side of me you didn't know,
A reason for all that I do,
And the reason is you.
A lone tear slipped down his face whether from relief that she was here or fear that something would happen to her. His glassy eyes met hers and she gave him that small smile that temporarily always calmed his anxieties and fears. Maybe he could postpone heading to Godric's Hollow until the moment the wedding was over. Besides, Harry had never been to a wedding before, and somehow he just instinctively knew he owed that time to Ginny. Love is tangible, Harry knew he could feel it, not only see it in his parents eyes; their love for him. Love is real, Harry thought, people who love one another get married…and taking one last look at her before he closed his eyes and fell asleep with her head on his shoulder.
For the first time Harry had hope.