A/N: Hope you like this chapter, it maybe a bit pointless but it's only cos' I (pinocchio) am very hyper because it's my birthday on Tuesday...
chapter written by pinocchio.
Chapter twenty-seven
"Ah! Get him away from me!" Sirius screamed, running up the stairs to the girls dorm, and sliding down miserably,
"Why are you so afraid of me?" Thomas Winterbury asked,
Sirius screamed again, crawling up against the wall and shielding his eyes from the sight that was Thomas. He was a boy in sixth year, he had dark skin and blue eyes and he was bald, because he had shaved his head. The portrait hole opened and Ellie walked in,
"Hey Tom!" she called, waving to him, "Black, why are you over there in the corner?"
"He…him…ah!" he whimpered,
"What did you do?" she demanded,
"I didn't do anything, he was sitting at the table, and I walked in looking for Remus and he started screaming!"
"Oh my god." Ellie said, her eyes traveling up to his head, "I know what it is. Your head."
"My head?"
"Yes, you recently shaved your head right?"
"A few hours ago, it was a dare." He said, still very confused. Sirius was still crying in the corner,
"Sirius has peladophobia."
"Peladophobia?"
"Yeah, fear of bald people, so you might wanna steer clear of him for a while." Ellie laughed, Thomas nodded and walked quickly up to his dorm.
"Get up Black." She said, offering him her arm, he took it and she pulled him up, "Geez Black, you weigh a lot!"
"Hey! I am just retaining my water!"
"Geez, you deserve more credit than we give you." She said,
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I'm shocked you actually know the word retain!" she laughed, and then added, "Come on, everyone is in the Great Hall."
Ellie and Sirius walked down the Great Hall and sat down near the rest of their group. Ellie sat with Remus and Sirius next to Emma; Matt walked in after them and sat close to Ellie, which Remus found very inappropriate. No one else was in the Hall because it wasn't a mealtime, they were all out on the grounds or in the castle somewhere.
"Where are Lily and James?" Sirius asked,
"No idea." Kat said,
"James is sulking in Hagrid's cottage and Lily is in the library." Matt filled him in,
"Alright. I'm hungry!" Sirius said, and immediately several plates of food appeared before him, he squealed like a little girl and dug into the food.
"I am so sick of Lily and James being split up, it's dividing the whole group." Emma said suddenly,
"I have a question." Matt said, "Why did they break up?"
"Who knows? It's all so complicated, I'm so over it." Ellie said,
"We have to get them back together." Kat announced,
"Thank you captain obvious." Sirius said sarcastically,
"How are we going to do that?" Remus said, "Lily's as stubborn as Ellie and it is so hard to get James to cooperate."
"Hey! I'm not stubborn!" Ellie said,
"Yes you are!" Kat said,
"No I'm not!"
"Ellie, you are." Emma told her,
"Fine, just a little bit thought." She said,
"Anyone got any ideas?" Matt asked, trying to get back on topic,
"Nope." Sirius said,
"I got one!" Ellie said,
"What?"
"Let's lock them in a broom closet!"
"So over-used." Sirius said, with a gay twang,
"Exactly! That's why it will easily work!" Ellie said, "Sirius, you just sounded so gay."
"It does sound like a good idea." Kat agreed,
"And it's the only idea we've got." Remus said,
"So it's settled! We're going to lock them in a closet."
"Oh my god!" Emma gasped, covering her mouth and running from the room,
"I better go and help her." Sirius sighed, and then said knowingly "Morning sickness."
"Life's a bitch!" Ellie said happily,
"Yep, come on Remus."
"What? I'm not coming to watch and listen to your girlfriend retch."
"Yes you are. How do you expect me to walk?"
"With you legs!"
"No, I hurt them when I was hiding from the scary bald boy."
"I'm not even going to ask for an explanation." Remus said getting up from his seat, "I'll just come."
Sirius and Remus walked off, Sirius complaining and limping the whole way.
"I'm going to go and find Dan, I want to give him his birthday present." Kat announced, skipping gaily out of the hall; leaving just Ellie and Matt.
"That was a really great idea." Matt said,
"Thanks."
"I don't think you're stubborn."
"Everybody knows I am, I can be a bitch!" she laughed,
"I've never seen you be a bitch."
"Well, you will one day."
"I like you Ellie."
"I like you too."
"No Ellie, I like you."
"Oh, thanks… I think."
"Sorry, I guess I freaked you out." He said, "I know you're with Remus, I am so jealous of him."
"Yeah, well I don't really know what to say."
"Say you'll go out with me."
"No, I can't say that. I have a boyfriend, we're one of the only couples who hasn't broken up a million times; and I want it to stay that way."
"All this pregnancy stuff, it's so confusing. I never know how to react to her!" Sirius complained,
"You are so pathetic!" Remus said, they had just left the Gryffindor tower after Emma throwing a stiletto shoe at Sirius' head, while yelling at him to get out and leave her alone, "She's having mood swings, it's perfectly normal."
"I don't understand any of it."
"Come with me."
Sirius limped behind Remus the whole way to the library. Remus went straight to a certain section about magical families.
"Where is it?" he said to himself, "Someone must have taken it, hang on a second."
"Moony, are you talking to yourself?"
"Yes, do you have a problem with it?"
"Yes."
"Then solve your own problem." Remus said,
"I'm fine, talk to yourself all you want!"
"I found it!" Remus cried, pulling a book out from the shelf,
"Pregnancy for dummies?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow,
"Yep."
"I'm not a dummy!"
"Not at all." Remus said,
"Good." Sirius said, not picking up on the sarcasm, "How did you know about this book?"
"I read it a few months ago."
"Why? Do you and Ellie have some plans?"
"What? No, Ellie doesn't…"
"Right." Sirius said, "Moving on! Let's see."
Sirius opened the book to a random page and began to read, he scanned over a few lines and with a shocked expression he shoved the book back at Remus, "Nothing!" He shouted, "I repeat, nothing is coming out of my uterus!"
He received for himself a number of strange looks from other people in the library; Remus shoved the book back at Sirius and hissed, "You must have forgotten, no one knows about Emma's pregnancy! She will kill you if anyone finds out, and the last thing you need is some crazy pregnant witch trying to murder you!"
"Oh yeah." He said quietly,
"And you don't have a uterus!"
"Why not?"
"It's only a guys thing!"
"Why don't I have one? Why do the girls get one and I don't?"
"I am so not having this conversation with you."
Ellie followed James down the hallway towards the broom closet on the fourth floor of the castle, as soon as he reached the closet, Ellie called out to him.
"Hey James!"
"Hey Andrews what's up?" James stopped outside the closet and turned around to see her,
"Must you call me that?"
"Yep! So, what do you need?"
"Well, I was thinking we ought to get in some extra practice for the next quidditch match against Slytherin."
"Our next match is against Hufflepuff, and then Ravenclaw."
"Yeah, whatever. Kat's going to meet us on the pitch."
"But I just saw her on her way to Dumbledore's office."
"Yeah… well she wants him to come and play with us."
"Doesn't he have a bad hip?"
"Yeah, we have magic for a reason James."
"I don't have a key for the closet."
"I do!" Ellie said happily, holding up a golden key and stuffing it into the lock,
"Why do you want me to play so bad?"
"Cos' I'm bored and I haven't spent time with my good friend James in a long time!"
"There is something up with you Andrews, you seem happier than usual."
"Hey look! It's your Dreamer!" she chirped, pointing to James' broom, "What a surprise!"
"It's always in that space."
"Whatever." She said, pushing him further into the closet and pulling the door shut, locking it quickly. She slipped the key into her pocket and then left to finish the rest of the plan.
"How is this going to work?" Kat asked, unsurely,
"Like Emma, Lily has an independency problem, well most of the time, unless she's being stubborn. Anyway, Emma's in the hospital wing having an ultrasound, and we'll tell Lils that we're going to go into Hogsmeade via the passage by the portrait of Ernestine."
"Oh no, not her."
"The creepy gay one?" Ellie asked, "Been there, done that."
"She tried it with you?"
Ellie nodded, "Let's go find Lily, she's bound to come with us, she hates being alone."
They found her sitting in the common room with Sirius. They were sitting by the fire and having an argument.
"It's so unfair, why can't I have yours?" Sirius whined,
"Because I want to have kids one day!" Lily shouted,
"You are being so unreasonable."
"No, you are. This is like me asking if I can have your penis or something!"
"There's no way I am giving you the little Major."
"It is so creepy that you named it."
"Please! Tell me why I can't have one."
"Because, it's not the way you're supposed to be!" Lily argued, "Besides, do you really want a period every month? Cos' if you have a uterus, that's what you'll get!"
"Is that where girls go crazy and turn into monsters every month?"
"Yep."
"No thanks!" Sirius said,
"Hey Sirius, doesn't Emma have an ultrasound right now?"
"Oh shit!" Sirius jumped up from his seat and ran from the common room. Then Ellie and Kat turned to Lily.
"Lils, Kat and I are going to Hogsmeade, wanna come?" Ellie asked,
"Not really."
"You'll be left here on your own." Kat said,
"Alright, let's go."
"And you're not coming out until you solve this problem!" Ellie shouted as Kat locked the door of the broom closet,
"That was so much fun." Kat said, and then added, "We'll come back in a few hours."
"Hello!" Peter shrieked in Kat's ear, making her freak out, "What's going on here?"
"Nothing, geez Pettigrew, we haven't seen you in ages." Ellie said,
"Well, I went nutso! So I went to Mungos for Mad people."
"I don't think that's the proper title Pettigrew." Kat said, slipping thekey back into her pocket,"Did you really go nuts?"
"No. But I think someone spiked my pumpkin juice!" he laughed loudly.
A/N: Please review... it can be my birthday present!