:stares at reviews: Whoa. I've been gone THAT long, huh? My sincere apologies for the long wait. Exams, exams I say. May they burn. I've been reading back on the past chapters and I am SO annoyed with the horridness of it, the lack of proof-reading, AND the damn formatting thing ffnet decided to implement. WHAT is wrong with the starry thing? Asterisks… I mean.
A/N: I changed a few things in this chapter... after finding a few ffnet-formatting mistakes (they just love sticking words together without your consent) and a few of -cough- my own mistakes such as repeating a word twice and those stupid lack-of-beta-reading things floating around the chapter. And I altered some things, such as the very last line of this fic, a few dialogue thinggys... Yea,stuff like that.
Wedding Crashers
Chapter 7: To Crash a Wedding
Many guests were invited to the grand wedding of the most important clan in Konoha. And grand it was, with the guests dressed in expensive smart suits and beautiful ball gowns, and many white clothed-tables arranged on the ceremony grounds with countless buffet trays and cocktail drinks in sparkling glasses laid upon them. The wedding was held in a large picturesque garden outside an ecclesiastically decorated church, bordered by high white fences lining the boundaries of the garden. Cars drove by the large white gates of the church, dropping guests off and driving to get parked so they could come back later to pick their passengers up. The weather that morning was sunny and slightly breezy – perfect for a wedding.
The melodious music strung out by the orchestra competed with the crowd's incessant chatter, making the atmosphere at the wedding cheerful and joyous – much unlike our dear groom who sat sadly at his bedside in a smart black tuxedo in his own home. A black car was waiting outside his house, with ANBU members waiting to escort him to the church.
He listlessly did his tie – cross and twist twice, push in, pull out, adjust till perfect – remembering his uncle's threats to send people in to dress him if he wasn't going to do it properly himself. But he was told to keep his head set on, so as not to show the cursed seal encrypted across his forehead. He had thought about being defiant and removing his ninja head protector just to annoy his uncle. But he himself wasn't too proud of the damn seal.
Neji slid his hand down the mirror as he stared at the reflection of the abominable mark stretched across his forehead, and quickly put his head set and head protector on, deciding to start the day off the way he always had - pretending it wasn't there. "Fate has gone too far…" He whispered sadly.
-
"GET ME MY GOLDEN EARRINGS! THE GOLD ONES!" Rika whacked a maid on the head, sending the poor girl skittering away.
"They're over there." Mitsuka, who was leaning on the doorpost, pointed at it, a pair of glittering gold earrings on a table, hidden under a few pieces of clothing. The maid ran over to it. Bouka yawned.
"Oh, I'm SO excited!" Rika said in excitement. She did a twirl and almost fell. "This is so great. Neji shall be mine! No, wait, he practically IS already mine! Oh joy!"
She put a tiara atop her head, which had a layer of white cloth of the same material as her dress falling over her face. "Aww… too bad they can't see my beautiful face till the part when Neji kisses me!" She swooned at the thought. "Oh well. I guess the best is always saved for last!"
Rika continued twirling and tumbling around, positively ecstatic. But our dear band of wedding crashers was somewhere, someplace, hatching their malicious little scheme…
-
"Crasher Six to Crasher One, give me your stats. Over."
"I'm… right here… next to you."
"Tell me where! Over."
"NEXT TO YOU."
"JUST SAY IT DAMMIT! …Over."
"Outside Rika's house, you loser. It's so troublesome, Naruto. Stop asking obvious questions."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT! You wanna give us ALL away? And you gotta respond with 'Crasher One here', and Rika is 'The Cow'. And remember what our pal in peril is called?"
"Yea yea. 'The Leaf'. Where the hell did you get these stupid names from, anyway?"
"SHIKA- CRASHER ONE! They're NOT stupid! The Cow wants to eat The Leaf which is in The Farm. And can't you see the symbolism? Konoha? Hidden Leaf? Neji, the leaf? And besides, she really is a cow…"
"Fine. Fine. Just stop wasting time."
"Crasher Six to Crasher Two, give me your stats."
"I'm- Kiba here. I mean, Crasher Two here. I'm… right next to you and Shika- I mean, Crasher One. Over. Dammit this is hard. Umn... Crasher Six, why did you want to be number Six? I had thought you'd wanna be number One."
"That's cuz I'm gonna be the sixth Hokage! BOW TO ME!"
"Figures."
"And besides, Shika thought of the plan. So he deserves to be number One! See how nice I am? Anyway, Crasher Three, what about you? Over."
"Crasher Three here. :Chomp: I'm next to you too, Crasher Six! Hee hee… this is fun…"
"Stop eating… you're getting crumbs all over me. Over. Crasher Four, what about you?"
"Dobe, Lee got the micro-mics from the ANBU department so it's a closed line we're talking in. We don't need codenames cuz no one's gonna eavesdrop at any time."
"JUST ANSWER!"
"Crasher Four to dobe Crasher One, I am not next to you. Over."
"Fine. Be like that. Crasher Five?"
"…"
"Crasher Five? Where are you? Over."
"…"
"Shino. You are number Five. Over."
"Oh. I forgot. I'm at The Field."
"Say over! Over."
"…Over…"
"Crasher Seven?"
"I'm in The Wind and ready to roll! YOISH! Over!"
"I like your enthusiasm, Crasher Seven! Great. Let's all get it going. Crashers united!"
"Ah…You know what? I wanna back out now."
"SASUKE! I mean, CRASHER FOUR! NO!"
"I. Want. Out. Shikamaru JUST told me about the plans JUST NOW. I thought everything was set YESTERDAY?"
"That's cuz :snigger: I knew you wouldn't agree to it if I told you yesterday…"
"Shut it, Nara."
"NO. NO. NO! Crasher Four, you agreed to this! So you're sticking in it. Over."
"You wouldn't be as passionate about doing it as you are now if you were me, idiot. I WANT OUT."
"True, but I'm not you. So just do it! Over."
"Crasher Five moving in."
"Shino? I mean, Number Five, take care! Over."
"They're out! Umn… Crasher Two here. Crasher…Umn, Crasher… ah…… Chouji! Get ready!"
"Ok :munch: I'm ready!"
"Crasher Four."
"WHAT, dobe?"
"You're up first."
"NO. This is WAY too much. I'm out."
Naruto heard the rustling of Sasuke trying to pull the mic off his collar. "NO! Look, if you can't even put up with something as small as this, there is NO way you're gonna be able to beat your brother. COWARD."
"…" Sasuke breathed out harshly, "I'll kill you later, asshole. You're head is mine."
-
Mitsuka and Bouka stepped out from the Sokake's temporary household and into the front porch.
"Man, what a brat." Bouka said, "I can't believe I'm putting up with this job."
Mitsuka stretched his arms, "Well, it's good money. And… oh!.?" He spotted Sasuke with his back turned toward him, "Now, what could that gorgeous thing be wanting around here?"
-
"Shikamaru… I'm gonna murder you after this whole thing. I will shred you up into thin, long strips and burn every piece…" Sasuke growled fiercely into the mic hidden in his collar. He was stationed at the row of fences on the right side of the Sokake's household, waiting for his portentous nightmare to arrive.
"Sorry man. Plan was to get rid of The Farmers before we attack The Cow. Have fun!" Shikamaru blew a kiss.
The other crashers laughed.
"I will kill you all…"
"SASUKE HONEY!"
'Oh God kill me now.' Sasuke spun his head around at the fence of the Sokake household.
"So how's it going, sugar?" Mitsuka was next to him in a flash and leaned on a hand against the fence Sasuke was standing next to.
"What's it to you?" Sasuke said through gritted teeth.
"It's everything to me, doll."
"Crasher Four! PLAY ALONG!" The hidden earpiece screeched into his ear.
Sasuke felt very much like dying, "Umn… you…"
"Mitsuka!" Naruto reminded him through the earpiece.
"Mitsuka…" Sasuke grudgingly repeated after the blonde.
"You know my name? I didn't think you were paying attention…" The bodyguard moved closer, forcing Sasuke to lean in the opposite direction.
Sasuke listened to the words Naruto sprouted to him from his earpiece and repeated them aloud,"…I feel…bad, for blowing you off on that… movie offer. And…"
Mitsuka was getting excited now. "And? AND?"
"…And I wanna make it… up to you..."
"WELL LET'S GET GOING THEN!" Mitsuka curled his hand around Sasuke's waist and dragged him to the nearest theatre.
Sasuke turned back and glared at the figures behind a bush that were trying their best not to squeal with laughter.
He gritted his teeth, 'No... Do not be suicidal. I MUST survive this. Because after all this... I'm definitely gonna kill them.' His eyes instinctively turned blood red, 'Kill. Them. All.'
A/N: Myeh… poor Sasuke. Why do I do such tortuous things to him? Because he's my baby that's why… GAH I'm such a sadist.
-sylver