Chapter twenty eight

Written by pretty.little.happy.princess. BTW I thought you should all no I am no longer writing story's accept this one.

"AH!" Screamed Emma from inside her walk in wardrobe.

"What's wrong?" Lily said as she poked her head in from behind the bathroom door.

"I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS FUCKED UP FUCKING SHIT ANYMORE. I CAN'T HANDLE FUCKING NEWTS! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS WHOLE FUCKING WEDDING THING. AND NOW I'VE GOT A FUCKING BUMP!" Emma screamed at Lily who was now standing with her jaw wide open. A few minutes silence followed this tantrum, before Lily broke it by saying, "Emma, you can handle NEWTS, you can handle the wedding, and no fence, but the bump has been there for a month or so now…"

"I KNOW THAT! But I just didn't realize how big it's been getting." Emma said. Lily walked over to Emma and pulled her into a hug. "It's ok." She said comfortingly.

"I no, it's just the bloody hormones." Emma whispered into Lily's fiery red hair.

Later that day Sirius, Remus and Kat were sitting outside by the lake. Sirius was doing some more reading of pregnancy for dummies, Remus was staying close by to ensure that nobody heard Sirius ranting and raving, and Kat was busy reading over some of her potions notes as there next newt was potions.

"My bones are stretching?" Sirius said confusingly as he held the pregnancy for dummies book upside down.

"No Sirius, Emma's bones are stretching." Remus said shaking his head. Remus didn't particularly want another repeat of the whole 'why don't I have a uterus?' thing.

"Then why does it keep telling me that my bones are stretching?" Sirius asked sounding very confused.

"It thinks that you're a pregnant woman." Remus said continuing to shake his head.

"Right, im so confused. This is confusing. Why is this confusing? And why is Kat laughing?" Said Sirius as he looked intriguingly over to Kat who was laughing so hard that it looked as if she would wet herself.

"It's just these notes, there so damn funny." Kat said as she giggled louder.

Remus and Sirius looked to each other with great looks of confusion.

"Kat, there potions notes, how can they be funny?" Remus bravely asked.
When Remus asked that Kat threw her book at them and said, "Read it for yourselves."

Remus and Sirius scrolled down the page, as they read they also began to laugh.

"This isn't funny…" Sirius said as he continued to laugh.

"Then why are we laughing?" Remus rhetorically asked.

"I must have managed to spill some laughter potion on it a while back." Kat said.

"How long till it wears off?" Sirius asked.

"About a minute for me, but I don't know about you two." Kat replied. After this comment she stood up, straightened her belt that was hanging lazily over her black skirt.

"If you see Emma, then can you tell her that I'll meet her at Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah sure. Right oh, well I'll catch you later!" Kat said as she frolicked off towards the castle.

"Is it me, or has exams made her weirder?" Remus said as the giggles wore off.

"It's not just her Moony; it's every single chick around this place. Promise me Moony, that if I ever end up like that you'll zap me." Sirius said as he stood up.

Remus grabbed his hand, shook it and said, "Deal."

"Fuckily, fuckily fuck, the fuck ran up the clock. Fuckily Fuck!" Emma sang as she screamed, ranted and raved at every single soul in the common room. Ellie stared nervously at her before she said, "Em, I need to go to the hospital wing, can you come?"

"Ok!" Emma yelled as she skipped towards the porthole. Ellie followed her, but just as they began to walk down the stairs Kat screamed.

Emma and Ellie looked at each other, then began to run towards were they heard the scream come from. They hurdled form stairwell to stairwell when finally they reached Kat who was standing next to Matt. They were outside a broom closet.

"What's wrong?" Emma and Ellie asked as they puffed in unison.

"We did it!" Matt said as he tried to hold Kat up.

"What's wrong with Kat?" Emma asked as she prodded Kat with her index finger.

"Well when we locked them in there Lily sort of put a charm on Kat…and I couldn't open the door to the closet, so…" Matt answered as he dropped Kat clumsily on the marble floor. Emma gave a small squeak as Kat's body clunked on the ground.

"So basically the situation is that Lily and James are stuck in a closet, and we can't get them out, even if we wanted to. Kat has had some weird Lily charm thing that only Lily knows, and for some reason Remus and Sirius have missed this entire thing!" Ellie concluded.

"Well that's all fine, but WHY THE HELL DID YOU LOCK US IN HERE!" Yelled James from inside the closet.

"Because you are both stubborn and refuse to see that you belong together, so you're in there till you work something out!" Emma said as she attempted to lift Kat off the floor.

"Well this isn't working…" Emma said, then added, "I'll go and find Sirius and Remus." As Emma began to waddle off to the quidditch pitch.

"Matt, you stay here. I'm going to go with Emma." Ellie said as she jogged after Emma. Ellie jogged instead of ran because Kat was always saying that there's no point in running because the place you're going to will still be there, and then she would add that running only ruins your hair.

Matt scratched his head; he had an extremely confused look on his face.

Lily then said form inside the closet, "How's Kat?"

"Depends, what did you do to her?" Matt asked lily.

"That's just it, the door slammed before I could even say the incantation."

"So you didn't do this to her?" Matt asked.

"No!" Lily said.

"Then what's wrong with her?" Matt asked as both he and Lily began to hyperventilate.

"I don't know. Oh Gosh! What's wrong! Let us out! We need to be out! I need to get away form James!" Lily screamed as she tried to bash the door down with her own hands.

"Don't bother Lily, if magic can't open it, then what chance have you got with those little delicate hands?" James said calmly.

"What do you expect me to do then?" Lily said as she plunked back down

"Sit yourself down over there, and wait for once in your life." James huffed out.

"Oh, and what is that suppose to mean?" Lily asked sounding offended.

"It means that everything you do is always impulsive, you never think anything out." James said as he began to stroke the mop that had fallen onto his lap.

"ME? Impulsive? Jeez, James Potter, I do not believe that you just accused me of being IMPULSIVE! Especially when you, the King of Impulses just started stroked a mop." Lily said in a huff.

James looked slightly taken back, "You just proved my point… though not by what you said, but by how you said it. Lily, you never think anything through, especially what you want to say, but there is something that you can't stand more than your opinion being ignored. Lily, you can't stand the fact that I found a flaw in you, you can't stand that the tables have turned. And most of all, you can't stand not being wanted." James said quietly, but the way he said it made a small silver tear drop out of Lily's emerald green eyes.

"James…"Lily whispered as she slid down the wall. "I'm sorry. I no I have flaws, I no that, but I never really wanted you to see them."

"Lily, I only see them when you point them out. Because you are my Lily Pily, you are the fiery girl I fell in love with. Though you frustrate me, I do still love you." James said softly into the mop. Lily now had several silver tears dropping form her eyes.

Outside of the closet Matt stood with his ear pressed against the door. Then, he heard a loud scream, and the sound of running foot steps. As matt peered his head around the corner he spotted Sirius and Remus running towards them, with Ellie and Emma slowly jogging behind. As they approached, Matt waved his hands to represent to them that they should shut there pie holes. They saw this signal as a good sign and began to tip toe towards the door. When Ellie and Emma arrived they all pressed there ears against the door, but all they could here were some quiet moans and whimpers. Ellie looked back and forward to the others, within a few seconds they all realized what was happening, and they jumped away form the door. As they jumped Sirius tripped over Kat.

"Oh, what are you doing there Kat? Unusual place to fall asleep." He said poking at her nose.

"Ah, I almost forgot, Lily said that she didn't cast a spell. So something else random must have happened to Kat." Matt said.

"Right-on…well Kat seems to always pass out, so maybe we should just drag her to the hospital wing, just to make sure it isn't anything serious." Emma suggested. They all nodded, and began to drag her to the hospital wing.

"What about Lily and James?" Remus asked.

"Oh, doesn't worry, that door automatically swing's open at midday and midnight." Ellie said.

"Ok, see you later Lily and Prongsies don't have too much fun without me!" Sirius yelled at the door.

As they all arrived at the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey came out of her office, and ran towards them. "What's happened to her this time?" She asked as she levitated Kat onto one of the near by beds.

"She sort of just collapsed." Matt said.

"Has she been acting out of the ordinary lately?" asked madam Pomfrey.

At this Sam, Andy and Dan ran in whilst yelling and screaming.

"WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?" Madam Pomfrey screamed at the top of her lungs.

"I HAVE A RASH!" Dan screamed. At this Ellie and Sirius started laughing so hard that they looked as if they would wet themselves.

"WHAT? ME TOO!" yelled Sam.

"ME THREE!" yelled Andy.

Madam Pomfrey shifted very uneasily before asking in a soft tone, "Where exactly are these, hem rashes?"

Dan looked from Sam to Andy before saying, "Well you no that place, down there, where the sun don't shine? Well that's where mine is." Dan said nervously.

Madam Pomfrey then asked if Sam's and Andy's were also in that place. They both nodded. By now everyone accept Remus was on the ground in stitches.

Remus looked at the others and said, "Guys, it's just an STD!"

"Hey, could an STD have caused Kat's issue?" Emma asked as she sat up.

"No, most certainly not." Madam Pomfrey said definitely, and then she continued. "Miss Ann recently came to see me after she had been feeling nauseous and as she was constantly fatigued I ran some tests. But I haven't got them back yet, and as for these gentlemen they basically just have a case of Testicular Rash caused by having something in the groin area for too long." Ellie and Sirius then fell on the ground again in laughter.

"She's talking about a broomstick." Matt said simply. Sirius and Ellie looked at each other, and began laughing again.

Everyone had gone back to the common room after a while, except Kat who was still out of it. As they all sat there discussing those weird things Kat stormed into the common room singing 'Sex Bomb' and thrusting her hips.

"What the hell?" Emma said confusedly to Sirius who was laughing extremely hard at Kat's antics.

"So your ok then Kat?" Matt asked.

"Oh yeah I'm fine, except I have an illness called Lymphocyte." She said excitedly.

"What is it….?" Ellie asked.

"Well basically, im addicted to sex!"

THANK YOU!

LOVE Kat!