Burden of a Destiny Deleted Scene (Takes place during Chapter 25)

Reaching Out

Harry collapsed in the nearest armchair in the Gryffindor Common Room. It had been another day of grueling lessons for the fifth years. He couldn't wait for the term to end. Quidditch and OWLs were becoming too overwhelming. The Quidditch Cup rested on his shoulders. Losing to Ravenclaw would mean losing the Cup. Failure was not an option. His OWLs were another story. Sirius and Remus tried to assure him that his best would be enough but Harry wanted to make his guardians proud. He wanted them to see that their tutoring and training had paid off.

Loosening his tie, Harry bit back a yawn as Ron and Hermione sat down in nearby armchairs. He looked at his exhausted friends and suddenly remembered his talk with Cho a few days ago. Ever since then Harry had noticed the periodic glances Hermione and the Weasleys had shot his way throughout the day. They hid their concern well but there was no doubt that everything wasn't as normal as Ron and Hermione wanted everyone to believe. Why hadn't they said anything? Yes, their friendship with Harry was still on the mend but it was certainly better than what it had been before Christmas, at least Harry thought it was.

It was still hard for Harry to believe how much his relationship with Ron and Hermione had changed over the past two years. Before Sirius and Remus, Harry really had no one but Ron and Hermione to confide in. He had no adults in his life that he trusted so he relied on Hermione's wisdom and Ron's sense of humor. Now he had Remus' wisdom and Sirius' humor to help him through his problems so where did that leave Ron and Hermione?

Harry closed his eyes as realization struck him. He couldn't believe he had never thought of it before. In trying to adjust to his new life, he had left Ron and Hermione behind. It had been completely unintentional but it had happened nevertheless. How could he have let this happen? Why hadn't they said anything? He had never meant to completely shut them out he just didn't want them to worry about matters that they couldn't do anything about.

Oh no. I'm really starting to sound like Remus.

"Do you have Quidditch practice tonight, Harry?" Ron asked quietly.

Harry opened his eyes and looked at his best friend. "Angelina gave us the night off," he said with a sigh. "We were all too exhausted last night to really do anything. Do you two have Prefect duties tonight?"

Hermione shook her head. "Hufflepuffs and Slytherins have the halls tonight, which is a good thing," she said. "We'll be able to get a head start on our school work."

Harry failed hiding a grin as Ron rolled his eyes in annoyance. Hermione's eagerness concerning schoolwork was never going to change just like Ron's eagerness to do anything other than schoolwork would never change. It was refreshing to see some consistency after a year of so many changes, even if it was something as insignificant as Ron and Hermione's dueling personalities. "It's hard to believe that in just about a month that the OWLs will be done with," Harry said tiredly. "This school year has certainly been a long one."

Ron and Hermione glanced at each other uneasily before returning their attention to Harry. "Is there something bothering you, Harry?" Hermione asked gently. "Did something happen?"

Harry was about to shake his head when he stopped himself. He didn't want to lie to them anymore. He wanted to trust them like he used to. He wanted to trust them like they trusted him. "I haven't been a good friend this year, have I?" Harry asked softly. At the sight of Ron and Hermione's confused faces, he tried to clarify. "We had some disagreements that complicated matters but I never wanted to worry you. There was so much that you couldn't do anything about so I figured it was best if you didn't know."

"Like what?" Ron asked instantly. "Is this about Umbridge?"

Harry let out a sigh as he rubbed his eyes underneath his glasses. This was going to be more difficult than he had originally thought. "Partially," he answered then pulled out his wand and cast a privacy charm so that no one could overhear. "I didn't tell you about what Umbridge was doing to me because I believed I was protecting the Order by remaining silent. I felt that the Order was more important than however wrong Umbridge's treatment was. When Sirius and Remus found out…everything got so out of control so quickly. I learned things, things I'm not even sure I actually believe and things that I should have noticed a long time ago."

Ron and Hermione leaned in, their eyes wide with amazement. They clearly never expected anything like this but why should they? He had never mentioned anything to them. He hadn't known that something had indeed been wrong until his guardians and Professor Snape had pointed it out then Occlumency lessons had started which Harry wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about.

"After the hearing, I learned that my scar links me to Voldemort in more ways than I was originally told," Harry said carefully. Hermione gasped and Ron flinched. "That link allowed me to see the attack on your dad, Ron, but it also allowed Voldemort the ability to send me dreams from time to time. He had wanted to trick me into going to the Ministry to access something for him."

"Do you know what it is?" Hermione asked nervously.

Harry nodded. "Apparently there is a Prophecy in the Department of Mysteries about Voldemort and me," he said quietly despite the privacy charm. "Voldemort seems to believe that the Prophecy will hold all the answers to why he hasn't been able to kill me yet." Harry couldn't help rolling his eyes at the statement. "It's just so stupid. Everyone's putting so much faith in a vague prediction that some crackpot made years ago."

Ron let out a snort. "Please Harry," he said with a grin. "Tell us how you really feel."

"Ron!" Hermione scolded. "This is serious!"

This time both Harry and Ron snorted. "Sorry Hermione but after hearing Trelawney predict my death once a week for years it's rather difficult to believe that any sort of prediction is true," Harry said bluntly. "Anyways, it doesn't matter. I haven't had a dream in months and I'm working on keeping Voldemort out of my head completely."

Ron and Hermione shared an uneasy glance. They clearly didn't share Harry's opinion of the Prophecy but weren't going to question the matter since Harry was finally confiding in them. "I really wish you would have said something, Harry," Hermione said regretfully. "I'm not sure what we could have done but we would have found some way to help you. Was that why you looked so tired all the time? You were trying to keep V—Voldemort out of your head?"

Harry bit his lower lip nervously. Professor Snape had made it clear that he wasn't supposed to talk about Occlumency with anyone, including Ron and Hermione. "Most of the time," Harry said evasively. "It certainly hasn't been easy." Letting out a sigh, Harry looked at his best friends for a long moment, trying to find some way to make them understand without actually telling them but nothing came to mind. "Look, I don't want to keep you from your schoolwork. I just wanted to apologize for being so distant. I guess I'm still trying to work out how to make my new family work with my old one."

"Forget schoolwork," Hermione said, causing Harry and Ron to stare at her in disbelief. That had been the last thing they thought would ever come out of Hermione's mouth. "Harry, we understand that you want to spend time with Sirius and Remus. We can see how much they mean to you. I guess it was hard to see you rely on someone other than us for help at first but with everything you've been through this year we can't blame you for seeking comfort from a parental figure. You needed someone who had faced horrors similar to yours. We weren't close to Cedric like you were. We weren't…treated like you were by Umbridge. We don't have V—Voldemort in our heads like you do."

"I think he gets the point, Hermione," Ron said through his teeth. "You don't need to remind him of everything that's happened."

Hermione let out an annoyed huff. "I'm just trying to make a point," she said irritably to Ron. "All I'm saying is that Harry's actions are understandable."

"Then why didn't you just say that?" Ron asked in confusion. "Why spend five minutes talking about something that could be explained in one sentence?"

Hermione scowled at Ron before turning away as she enfolded her arms across her chest. "I'll remember that the next time you start talking about Quidditch," she shot back.

Ron scowled back at her. "That is completely different!" he argued. "Harry likes Quidditch! I like Quidditch! We don't like talking about all the times in the past year that Harry has been hurt or worse!"

"I see," Hermione said turning back to face Ron. "So let's not talk about them at all and pretend they never happened! Excellent plan, Ron! Unfortunately, some of us need to talk about the horrors we've faced in order to deal with them. Harry needed to talk about what he went through to move past it. With the way you're acting I can see why he didn't come to us."

Harry cringed at the comment. He really didn't like the way this discussion was going. He had wanted to improve their strained friendship not be the cause of another bickering match between the two of them. Why did they always have to argue about everything?

"Oh, so it's my fault that Harry didn't talk to us?" Ron asked angrily. "I don't believe this!"

"Ron, Hermione—"

"I didn't say that!" Hermione said defensively. "All I'm saying is that you should be a little more willing to talk about matters that are more important than Quidditch!"

"Guys—"

But they didn't hear him. "Who says I'm not!" Ron asked loudly making Harry grateful that he had cast the privacy charm. "Harry's already talked about what he went through with Sirius and Remus! Why should we make him talk about it again?"

"GUYS!" Harry shouted causing Ron and Hermione to look at Harry in surprise. He let out a frustrated sigh and slouched back into the armchair. "If this is the reaction I'm going to receive from you two then it's probably better if I don't tell you anything. I don't want you two fighting because of this." Shaking his head, Harry stood up and looked directly at them, his eyes pleading for them to see what he so desperately wanted to see. "I want you two to understand why I am the way that I am now but I can't do that if you're going to be at each other's throats. Instead of trying to determine what I need, perhaps you should ask me. There are plenty of people who believe they have the right to make my decisions for me. I don't need my friends to be among them."

Harry moved to leave but stopped when Hermione wrapped her fingers around his wrist. "Harry, I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "You're right. Ron and I shouldn't be fighting about this. We want to understand and we're willing to listen." She looked around and noticed that the Common Room wasn't as empty as it was when their conversation had begun. "Come on. Let's find a place a little more private."

Without another word, Harry was pulled up the stairs and into his dorm room by Hermione with Ron following. He watched as the door was closed and locked. This wasn't good. Now he was locked in a room with his friends who couldn't go five minutes without arguing. For some reason, Harry had a feeling that he was going to have a rather nasty headache by the time the door was unlocked.

Hermione shifted her grip so that she was holding Harry's hand as she pulled him to the nearest bed and impatiently pulled him to sit down next to her. Ron once again followed suit and sat down on Harry's side, opposite from Hermione. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Ron and Hermione were waiting for Harry to begin and Harry was trying to figure out what to say. He knew he couldn't tell them everything but he had to start somewhere.

"You know you don't have to say anything if you don't want to, right Harry?" Ron asked. "I mean, if it's too painful…"

"It's all right, Ron," Harry said with a grateful smile. "Truthfully, it's hard to know when everything started to change but I think the drastic changes began with Umbridge. She knew exactly what to say to bring all of the insecurities I had to the surface. She knew my weakness and used that to ensure my silence to what she was doing here. During my detentions with her, I had to listen to her tell me over and over again how my uncle had every right to treat me the way he did and it was only a matter of time before Sirius and Remus realized that."

Hermione gasped in shock while Ron paled but they didn't say a word.

"When the detentions started, I held my ground," Harry continued. "I ignored her. I forced myself to remember that Sirius and Remus would never agree with Vernon. I forced myself to remember that Vernon was wrong to take his anger out on me but when the nightmares started I could only handle so much. I was ashamed to admit that I had allowed Umbridge to get to me so I kept it all to myself. After the attack on the train, everyone looked to me for answers. She knew that and singled me out because of it."

Harry inhaled deeply and rubbed the back of his neck. She's gone. She can't hurt you anymore. "By the time Sirius and Remus took me home, I was a mess," he said, his gaze falling to the floor. "They ended up taking shifts of sleeping in my room to calm me down when I had a nightmare of them handing me over to the Ministry or my uncle. It didn't help that Sirius had a very hard time holding in his anger every time he saw the scars on my hand. We talked a lot about my fears but I think it took actually confronting Umbridge at the hearing for me to realize that the only power she had over me was the power I gave her."

"That actually makes sense, Harry," Hermione said gently. "Take Neville and Professor Snape, for example. If Neville wasn't so frightened of Professor Snape's personality then Potions class wouldn't be so bad for him."

"So you faced her at the hearing and testified against her," Ron said, wanting the story to continue.

"Actually, she sought me out before the hearing began," Harry corrected. "She wanted to scare me into silence but Remus was there with me. Words were said, she attacked us and was caught."

Ron and Hermione stared in disbelief at Harry's nonchalant tone. It almost sounded like it was what happened to Harry every day. "Umbridge attacked you and Remus?" Hermione asked. "Was she completely out of her mind?"

Harry shook his head. "She was declared sane by St. Mungo's but there are different degrees of insanity," he said with a grin. "That was why her sentence was so severe. She tried to use an Unforgivable on me but failed. I think that was the wakeup call for the Wizengamot that something was seriously wrong. There was also the fact that Umbridge claimed that everything she did was for the good of the Ministry and Fudge. Quite a few people were appalled of how far someone would go to make everyone believe Fudge's view of the world was the right one."

Ron and Hermione could only stare in shock at a complete lose for words. They were certainly taking this harder than he had expected them to but then again why shouldn't they? Why shouldn't they be startled to learn just how far Umbridge had been willing to go to ensure that Fudge's opinion of Voldemort's return was enforced? They had never actually witnessed how much of a 'Fudge fanactic' Umbridge was.

"Well, you both know how the hearing turned out," Harry said with a shrug. "I know it's a lot to take in but I thought you deserved to know more than what had been in the 'Daily Prophet'." He bit his lower lip as he tried to think of how to word what he needed to say. Why was this so hard? Because you're scared they'll break your trust again. "I know there's a lot more to say but I think that's all I can handle tonight. Just don't tell anyone, okay? I don't want anyone's pity."

Hermione gently squeezed Harry's hand, reminding him that she was still holding it. "Thank you, Harry, for trusting us," she said gratefully. "I think this year has been trying on all of us. I'm sorry for going behind your back with the D.A. and being so demanding after Christmas about what happened with Umbridge. I was just so worried when you vanished after your vision and then I learned what Umbridge had done to you. Whatever you need, Harry, I'm willing to help in any way I can."

Harry shot her a grateful smile. He could understand that. He probably would have reacted in a similar fashion if something had happened to her or Ron.

"I'm sorry too, Harry," Ron said uncomfortably. "I'm not really one to talk about feelings and all that. Mum's always…well…just known what to say to make us feel better. She calls it a mother's intuition or something like that. I may not be someone you feel comfortable talking about a lot of things but I won't walk away if you need me. Weasleys never abandon their own."

Harry felt like a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The talk hadn't completely gone the way he had originally planned but in a way he was glad it didn't. He was glad that he had confided in them about the Prophecy and Umbridge. It was a relief to have his friends back. He knew he couldn't tell them everything just like he couldn't tell Sirius and Remus everything. There were just some things you couldn't talk to your guardians about no matter how young they acted. He would find a way to make this work. After all, everyone else managed to do so everyday. He was no different.

A/N: Okay, I really didn't plan to have them talk about the Prophecy but it seemed the easiest thing for Harry to talk about because Harry is so reluctant to actually believe it that there is something out there that can actually dictate his future. If all of your experience with seers was what Trelawney predicted would you believe it? I wouldn't. I would think people were completely out of their mind for putting any faith in it.

Coming up: The long awaited final chapter from Burden of a Destiny. Sirius discovers Harry has left Hogwarts and he's not happy about it.