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Espacole

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Pyrrha woke to aching limbs, itchy skin, and a headache worsened by the quiet beeping and humming of machines that seemed to bore into her very skull. Her eyes cracked open and she hissed, slamming them closed again and gritting her teeth through the agony that bloomed to life inside her head. When it finally started to fade a few moments later, she turned her head to the side, cracking her eyes a bit so they could adjust to the stark, somehow steril light.

She never got the chance, the lights dimming as a recognizable voice said, "Nikos. You are conscious."

"Legion." Her voice was dry, but her throat didn't hurt, so she was grateful for that as she turned to look up at the machine standing over her. She couldn't help but smile. "How are you?"

"Functioning." They answered without hesitation, turning and stalking around her bed to the terminal Chakwas normally worked at. Leaning over to do… Something, they asked, "What is your status?"

"A lot of aches and pains, but nothing too great." She raised her hand and found it in a thick wrapping of bandages. The other was as well and she frowned, asking, "How much of me-"

"Your entire body was encased in sterilized bandages while we allowed your Aura to heal your injuries." They answered, flicking a look to her and then turning back to their work. "Are you in any pain?"

"Like I said…" She grunted, pushing herself up and easing herself back against her pillow, using it as a backrest against the less comfortable head of the medical bed.

It was a bit uncomfortable, to be frank, but at least she was sitting up without the room spinning or any pain. And that counted for something. At least to her.

"Please attempt to rank your pain on a sale ranging from one to ten." Legion pressed firmly, flicking her another look and adding as an explanation, "Doctor Chakwas left specific instructions, should you wake while she was resting."

"Ah." Pyrrha blinked and then shrugged, winced, and said, "A four when I do that…"

"Shoulder pain." The machine rattled off, "Noted."

"It's not severe." She said through a smile, "Barely more than muscle strain. I'm just… Stiff, from lying still for too long."

"We will add that to logs." The AI answered, turning and raising its glowing arm up over her. "Please be still for the medical scan, Nik-"

"Please, as I have said before, you can just call me Pyrrha." She smiled, cutting the machine off and watching its flanges flick in thought. Curious, she added, "In fact, I think I would prefer it if you did."

"...Acknowledged, Pyrrha."

"Thank you." It felt a bit wrong, to tease them so over something that seemed a part of their culture - though she wasn't sure how well that term applied, to be fair. But she figured they would have said so if that was the case, so she was sure all was well enough. Moving on, she said, "And I'm fine, Legion. Truly. A bit sore, a bit stiff, but no true pain anywhere. Relax, please."

"But-"

"Pretty please?" She tried, putting on her best impression of Ruby's big-eyed look. It felt like a weak impression, and doing it to a Geth probably didn't get her much, but it was amusing to try nonetheless.

And hey, she saw its flanges flick in thought, so maybe she was having some small-

"We must insist that you rest and heal, Pyrrha." Legion cut her musings off, raising their Omni-Tool and starting to sweep the glowing interface over her. "We were left with specific instructions. And further, we would rather not earn Shepard-Commander's ire."

"Shepard…" Suddenly, the obvious occurred to her, and Pyrrha blinked. "Dark Brother- Shepard let you take care of me, didn't she?"

"Affirmative."

"That's…" She blinked, then smiled, "Surprising."

"Affirmative."

"How did you…?"

"We asked her to listen to our information. Then we presented our reasoning directly." Legion answered simply, paying more attention to her scans than anything else. "She concluded we were trustworthy through… Through her own means and allowed the application of our input. When that was successful, she trusted us more, for which we are… Glad."

"As am I, Legion, as am I." Commander Shepard, relying on a Geth's advice… Truly, people could change dramatically if given the proper push, as her mom had always said. Changing lanes, she asked, "How did the mission end, then?"

"Within parameters of success."

"And the colonists?"

"The Collector vessel was driven away with at most forty percent of the colonists." Legion explained mechanically before it stepped back and turned to manually input its findings about her status. While they did, they went on quietly, "We recognize your displeasure at calling such a success, Pyrrha. But-"

"I am aware of the ruthless calculus of war, Legion." In theory, at least. For Legion, though, she smiled and met their gaze when they turned to her. "We're all alive, and we saved as many as we could. For this, I am happy."

"...That is good." Legion bobbed their metal head and turned back to the terminal, "We have just finalized input of medical information per Doctor Chakwas' specifications. You will be pleased to know that your healing falls within expected parameters."

"Meaning?"

"You will likely be released from the medical bay within sixty hours." Legion informed her brightly, turning to her and flicking its flanges in its usual facsimile of happiness. "Until then, we are authorized to acquire nourishment. Are you hungry, Pyrrha?"

"I am."

"Acknowledged. We will procure food for you then, and breakfast, come morning as well." The machine said as it turned, adding absently, "Just in time for your first sessions with Doctor Cakwas."

"My first what now?"

"Session." They answered, pausing at the door to turn and add, "Commander Shepard, yourself, and Operative Vakarian have been assigned therapy sessions per Yeoman Kelly Chambers, Specialist Lawson, and Doctor Chakwas' collective recommendations. Your first session is scheduled for late morning tomorrow."

"Oh…" She blinked, confused, and Legion took that moment to leave. In their absence, she eased into her bed, sighed, and said, "Well, that sounds like fun, then…"

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Therapy…

Commander Shepard hadn't been forced to deal with therapy in half a decade at least - not since… Well, not since Akuze and the Blitz, really. Both of those shit-shows had forced her onto month-long rests with a therapist that eventually had to clear her. And then she'd been back into it, 'too valuable as an asset to leave on the bench', as Anderson had put it once upon a moonlight bar fight.

But here she was, lounging on her couch while she waited for Chakwas to show up for their first 'session'.

Finally, after an hour of anxiously staring up at the ceiling, bouncing her leg, EDI spoke, "Commander, Doctor Chakwas is requesting a lift to your quarters."

"I know."

"She has brought Legion with her." EDI informed her quietly, "Her explanation is that cohabitation and communication may help you come to overcome your… Problems, with their race."

"Yeah, I was worried that would be her plan…" It made sense, of course, but… Damn it all, she didn't like the idea of a Geth in her private quarters. Touching things. Her finger itched for her Viper, in this close quarters it could do wonders in her hands, but…

She'd promised Chakwas she wouldn't be armed, or armored, for their chat.

"Let them up." She sighed tiredly, "Sooner we get started, sooner we get done…"

A few moments later, she heard her door open with its subtle 'whoosh' of rolling metal and turned to watch the Geth and the doctor come in. The woman simply found a seat on the couch, but the machine lingered to watch her fish flit back and forth. It looked down at the button that controlled her feeder, then back up at the floating Ilium Sunfish that was her pride and joy, and then back to the button before it turned to come towards her.

"I haven't fed them today." She sighed, waving a hand for the frozen machine to go ahead, "Feel free. Press it twice, though. I haven't reset the feed amount to account for the Sunfish and the Scaleback I added a week back."

"We did not want to impose."

"It's fine." She sighed, even if the mere thought of the thing touching her fish tank irked her deeply. "And, uh, watch the Sunfish eat. The little dork eats weirdly."

"Acknowledged…" It murmured, turning after a moment of seeming hesitation and pressing the feeder twice.

Shepard watched from her seat as the food pellets, leaves and pieces of dried meat filtered down from the top of the tank and her fish surged up toward it. The Ilium Sunfish, as always, spun around a chunk of its dried meat and batted it around with its stubby little tail before finally eating it. Then it did the same with the next bit of food, beating it into proverbial submission before it was willing to actually eat the food.

"Shepard Commander," Legion turned to her, "your Ilium Sunfish eats very strangely indeed. With your permission, we would catalogue this anomaly for review by Geth on our return to Geth space."

Commander Shepard, killer of Thresher Maws and hero of the Blitz couldn't help the snort that erupted at that, and covered her mouth to suppress the laughter that followed. Chakwas, smiling warmly all the while, offered her a bottle of water while the confused machine marched over and took the seat Chakwas ordered it to.

"Well," Chakwas sighed as they settled in, "this seems off to a wonderful start. Legion, you like fish?"

"Fish are…" The machine paused, processing the question, before it finally answered. "Interesting, to us."

"In what way?"

"No data available." They answered simply, flanges flicking and fluttering rapidly before it seemed to change the subject suddenly. "Shepard Commander, why do you own a fish tank?"

"That seems like a question dodge to me." Chakwas pointed out dryly, "But by all means. Shepard, why do you enjoy fish so much?"

"Well I suppose this is as good a topic to bond over, or whatever, as any…" Shepard sighed, took a sip from her water, and started to explain, "It started when I watched an old, old movie called 'Jaws' as a kid..."

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An hour after her breakfast, Kelly poked her head through the door, smiled, and asked, "So, um, what size are you?"

"What size…?"

"Jumpsuit." The red-head smiled warmly, stepping into the room enough for Pyrrha to see her shoulders and chest. She waved her hand at Pyrrha's loose clothes and explained quietly, "Medical clothes are kind of, um, showy. And cold. Also, yours is… Kind of ruined? It's all bloody and acid… Y. Acidy."

"That is true…" And while the idea of a Cerberus insignia didn't sit well, she was up a creek and could not afford to bicker over the oar being offered to her. With a weary, resigned sigh, she shrugged, "EDI, could you ask Legion for sizes they can use? They have it on record, I'm sure, and I'd rather not strip to check tags."

"Details on your 'Tool, Yeoman."

"Oh?" Kelly flicked her arm up to check, then beamed and shot Pyrrha wink. "Back in a flash!"

Another half an hour passed before, dressed in her own brand new Cerberus jumpsuit, Pyrrha bowed her head towards the door and murmured, "Garrus. Miss Chambers. Good morning to both of you."

"Yeah, uh, good morning." Awkwardly, Garrus bobbed his head before crossing the room stiffly and taking a seat on the other bed under the darkened window the way Kelly had probably suggested he do. Sitting at the edge of the bed and resting his elbows on his knees he chuckled and asked, "You as, uhn, enthused about this as I am?"

"You could definitely say that…"

"Now, now, you two." Kelly smiled, rolling the stool she'd brought in to rest against the wall across from their beds, at the foot of the third bed in the room. She plopped onto it, crossed her ankles and leaned back against the wall, "This is very important! Maintaining adequate mental health is critical on missions like these. And processing traumatic incidents is key to that!"

"My mental health is just fine." Pyrrha assured her, biting down the urge to roll her eyes, "I came to terms with everything which happened to me a long time ago. Of that, you can rest assured."

"Okay, sweetie, sure. Maybe." Kelly's smirk told her she didn't buy a word of it, but she was moving on before Pyrrha could argue. "But lemme just ask you… Has he dealt with what happened between you?"

"Uh, what?" Garrus blinked, flanges flicking in surprise, "Me? Nothing happened to me."

"Au contraire, mon ami! Gosh, I have always wanted to say that, but more importantly!" Kelly raised a finger and then pointed at the confused, faintly chittering, Turian, "You were forced to commit what at the very least was a major breaking of your own code of ethics. I mean, setting aside the interpretable elements entirely. And Garrus, you haven't forgiven yourself."

"Yes I have."

"Garrus." Kelly chided him, shaking her head and smiling knowingly, "Cerberus has monitors in your room. You talk in your sleep."

"Son of a bitch…"

"I'll ask Mordin to sweep our quarters." Pyrrha sighed, "Again."

"To be fair, he left that one on purpose." Pyrrha's brows shot up and Kelly raised a hand, smiling warmly, "The audio, and it's only audio, goes right to me. And I was rightfully worried about Garrus, so Mordin agreed."

"That little snake…"

"Hey, he's a spy at heart. And a doctor, too. He was just looking out for you, and you should be glad, too!" Her smile softened and she reclined a bit, tapping her fingers on her knees. "Having a friend willing to risk even the friendship itself just to make sure you're alright? That's something special."

Pyrrha… Actually couldn't disagree with that, at least in principle. Even if an invasion of privacy such as that was still absolutely wrong, Brother Dark did it fit Mordin to a tee.

"So, Garrus, I want you to put into words how all of this has made you feel." Kelly went on when Pyrrha didn't argue and Garrus didn't say anything other than a vague threat about shoving his rations down Mordin's throat. "And I mean all of it. Commander Shepard ordering it, you doing it, everything. This is a safe space-"

"Is it safe to leave then?"

"-unless you try to leave, because if you do, I will break your damn kneecaps, because I have one job on this ship and you will not rob me of the opportunity to do it." Kelly's smile could have chilled a literal sun, and the little tilt of her head did nothing to ease Pyrrha's sudden fear of her. "So, please, Garrus. Speak your heart, here. Let all that pain out so Pyrrha can hear and understand it."

"Why do I need to-"

"Because he appears to be having night terrors about you hunting him down and peeling his scales off to use as plates." Pyrrha blinked. Slowly. And Kelly nodded and raised her hand, "I have it all recorded, too, if you want proof. But I hope we can spare him the emasculation of… Well, hearing all of that."

"Please, Spirits, yes, let's not do all of that…" Garrus sighed tiredly, shook his head and finally said, "I'm… I'm a Turian. That means you follow an order when you hear it. Right?"

"That's the ethos." Kelly nodded, "So, that's why you did as she said, then?"

"No, that's… That's the thing." Garrus sighed, grasping his hands and chittering gently. After a moment, he murmured, "I'm not… A very good Turian."

"No, Garrus, you're a wonderful-"

"Please, Pyrrha, this is Garrus' time." Kelly cut her off with a raised finger, "We can talk about your various traumas in a moment. And oh God, are there a lot of them…"

"What does that mean?"

"You're a book and I'm a librarian." Kelly smiled pointedly, "Now, shush. Garrus? If you aren't a good Turian, then what does that mean?"

"A good Turian would follow every order, but… I'm not that." Garrus growled, shaking his head, "But if that isn't why I did it, then why? A-And isn't it my fault? Just following orders is one thing, but if I didn't do that then… I don't know what that means."

"It means you did as you were told for a different reason." Kelly offered quietly, adding gently, "Why do you think that is?"

"...Shepard." He murmured, "She asked, and I did as she asked."

"Because you trust her?"

"I do." He blinked, flicked a look to Pyrrha, then hung his head and stammered, "I-I did. I mean… I trust her to do what's right when she knows what she's involved in. A-And I assumed she did, so I did as she said, because I thought it was right."

"That's the best reason to make a mistake." Pyrrha offered warmly, nodding when the Turian turned to her. "We have to trust each other, Garrus. We're allies. And she's the Commander. You should have trusted her."

"But that-"

"You made the right decision, Garrus. And the one I would have, in your position, as well." She reassured him, watching his flanges tense and relax as he absorbed her words. "You didn't know, couldn't know, and made the right decision. Be at peace."

"Yeah." The Turian grimaced, "I can try, I suppose."

"More than try." Kelly smiled, "We have a few days before we get to Ilium. And a session a day! Should do wonders."

Somehow, it felt like the next few days were going to be… Trying, to say the least.

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An introspective chapter for this return. For those interested, Shepard is undergoing exposure therapy. Garrus is, too, along with motivated reasoning therapy. Anyway, hope you enjoyed.

Next time, Ilium~!

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Shadowmyths :

Yes! She does!

Jnautking :

They don't interfere, and both have them. However, Collector particle weapons even in ME2 shred kinetic barriers. You play on Insanity and two seconds of particle fire erases your barriers and eats at some health on top of it for anyone not a durability specced Sentinel. Pyrrha took that and more, as well as the toxic spray of the Praetorian. The latter of which, canonically, has killed bases full of people in enclosed environments.

Foxcomm :

*sips tea quietly*

Simply Christian :

The issue, though, is that she isn't drawing her line on national lines. Being a nationalist would be bad too, mind, but that isn't what she says. She puts it on a racial line, so… Yeah. From my experience with racists, I think she is one. Albeit a more 'moderate' one as lacking as that is, and one that you can coach into being less so.

Also, her remarks regarding Cerberus were begrudging, not grateful. As in 'at least they're doing something GOOD for once' which, in context, she is comparing to the Alliance pretty much doing fuck all. Right now, Cerberus is actually helping.

Lastly, Turian colonies… Have more than Turians on them. Hell, they also protect Volus worlds. But my point, there, is that ME's governments don't predicate membership to a government on race. They protect territories. And speak about it as such. Ash speaks about it in terms of the race. Alliance colonies have non-Humans, too. Hell, in ME2, we met Veetor specifically BECAUSE he, a Quarian, lived on the Human colony.

But end of the day, it's just one interpretation of many. *shrugs* To me, the 'nuance of racism' or, well, xenophobia if you prefer, isn't… Something that matters? Just in my perspective. You're free to have yours!