PIZZA

Vlad King grinned as he took the pizza boxes. Two pizzas, cut into ten slices each, from the cheapest delivery service in the city. He tipped double, delighting in giving away nearly as much as he spent on Aizawa's prodigies.

Sekijiro schooled his face into a stern expression as he slapped the two boxes on the table in front of the students. Dismayed expressions gaped upon the greasy cheese pizzas, not a speck of topping between them.

"Well?" Sekijiro asked. "What are you waiting for?"

Sato picked up a slice by his fingertips as though it were diseased. The cheese sloughed off in a greasy pile, leaving behind a limp sliver of crust. "Is this pizza?"

"Why, yes!" Sekijiro said with mock cheer. "Yes it is! Enjoy!"

As Vlad King reveled in their resigned shuffling towards the pitiful pizza, the doorbell rang again. Confused, Sekijiro answered the door. A man in a smartly-cut three-piece suit held two dozen pizzas. The smell alone drew the whole class to the door, drooling and gazing with hope in their eyes.

"I didn't order these," Sekijiro told him.

"I did, sir," Yaoyorozu said as she slipped around him and signed the receipt. "I felt so bad, seeing how you couldn't get enough for everyone, so I ordered some more. That's okay, right?"

Sekijiro's brain unplugged itself and rebooted. Of course, 1-A was trying to upstage him. They thought they could throw a better pizza party than he could. Well, he would show them!

"What, these?" Sekijiro scooped up the two flimsy pizzas and hurled them out the window. "That was just a prank!"

"Really? Well, I don't mind."

"Nonsense, go ahead and return them, I'll-" Sekijiro was cut off by munching sounds as half the class descended on the pizzas like wolves. "You know what? I'll order more." With a feral grin, Vlad King said, "I'll buy all the pizza you can eat."

TWO HOURS LATER

As the tuxedo men waved in another cargo plane, Sekijiro surveyed the aftermath of the pizza party. Students with bulging bellies and sauce-smeared cheeks slumped face-forward on tables and draped themselves over sofas. Tokoyami muttered, "Must not go into the light," while Dark Shadow nursed his own swollen crop next to him. Rainbow dribbles leaked out of Ochako's mouth, and Mineta rolled across the floor, a nearly perfect sphere thanks to his shorter stature.

Katsuki, bulging with fat folds, crammed another slice into his mouth, muttering, "Must… not… lose…" Izuku, visibly unchanged despite his gluttony and smelling of burnt pizza, ate slices non-stop. A mountain of boxes surrounded him.

Sekijiro despaired at the growing receipt of orders and asked, "How are you still eating?"

"Terribly sorry sir," a delivery man said, "But Italy is out of pizza. We can no longer fill your orders."

As Vlad King collapsed into a chair, crushed by his defeat at the hands of 1-A, Nezu, with one claw at his neck, whispered, "Sekijiro-san, where did my tea fund go?"

497

Tl;dr – Vlad King accidentally threw the best pizza party ever.