A/N: A recap follows to reorient to the story. For those who may wish to reread the first three chapters, I have updated them with additional details. None of the enhancements change the plot.

Recap: Chris and Aalin's first night together is interrupted by an emergency. Later Chris decides he is not ready for their relationship to take this next step and decides to back away. The events on Talos IV still haunt him. Phil Boyce, who initially assumes a very different problem occurred, decides to play matchmaker, and enlists the help of the other senior officers.

This Is Real Life

Morning, Twelve Hours Earlier

The loneliest feeling is waking up solo in another's bed, Aalin thought. She sat up and leaned against the headboard. The clock read 7:00am. Chris had slipped out earlier without waking her. That wasn't surprising given his thoughtfulness.

She hugged her knees to her chest. One hand reached out smoothing the pillow on the other side of the bed. They began last night on the cusp of making love. It would have been their first time together. Then an unexpected problem required Chris' attention. Returning hours later, he awakened her with a tender kiss on the forehead and clasping her hand, led Aalin from the sofa to the bed. He laid next to her, she twined her arms around him, and Chris rested his head on her shoulder. She didn't remember who fell asleep first.

This is real life with him. Chris is responsible for the well-being of 534 souls as well as the ship they crew. A ship tasked with exploring the vast unknown darkness, solo. Often his time will not be his own. He needs and deserves a lover who accepts that, who is willing to stay in the background, who is undemanding. Who will commit up front, before intimacy, and stand by that commitment when the relationship is easy and when it is not.

And he is worth that.

Perhaps tonight we can pick up where we left off. Smiling, Aalin left for her quarters.

ooooo

The loneliest feeling is finding one I cherish after the Talosians ripped away any chance of my trusting or experiencing that love, Chris thought as he settled into his ready room and began reviewing the overnight reports. Unable to focus he tossed the PADD on his desk with more force than necessary.

He closed his eyes. The memory surfaced of that moment between them when building a future together felt possible, felt tangible. In the immediate aftermath of the Noohran war, after her injuries were tended, before her survivor's euphoria faded, Aalin kissed him, a lingering kiss of desire and passion and love. It was genuine and he accepted all of its promise. Yet making love to her in that moment, when her euphoria and adrenaline rush clouded true consent, he believed was wrong. So Chris notched down his desire and postponed, focusing her on rest and recovery. The next mission came and then another. Without planning, without realization, they fell back into the comfortable friendship established before Noohra's crucible compelled both to acknowledge and embrace their feelings for the other.

Until last night. No words were needed. He held out his hand, she took it in her own and nodded. Within minutes they were in his quarters. The first kiss for him was magic including the proverbial fireworks. She pressed closer. His hands caressed her body.

Then a thought crept in.

If Aalin is the mate I dream of, the one I crave, why wasn't she the illusion the Talosian offered? Not her physical appearance but her essence?

The thought sobered him like a plunge into an icy lake.

The question burrowed deep into his psyche, planting seeds of doubt with deep, strong roots.

Then call from the bridge came. Chris was grateful for the interruption.

That is real life with me. Mistrust of what I see, suspicion of what I feel. Doubts that do not retreat.

And she deserves better.

An hour later, Phil Boyce entered unannounced full of questions about his assumptions regarding Chris and Aalin's night together.

ooooo

Present, 6:00pm

Aalin sank into a chair after Chris left. She had assumed he would seek her out at some point during the day. Rather it appeared he felt forced into an unwanted meeting upon finding her in the lab rather than Spock. Definitely not the reaction I expected … and … yes, it hurt.

Get a hold of yourself.

One. He's busy. Too busy to reassure a girlfriend over a trivial matter. Interruptions will be normal during our time together. I didn't give last night's unexpected ending a second thought until … seeing Chris' sad expression during our conversation today.

She was unnerved when he, who typically welcomed her touch, evaded it. A question tiptoed into her mind. Maybe he regrets starting down an intimate path with me?

Two: No. That's not fair. He's preoccupied. Most likely about something having nothing to do with me, with us. Give him space.

Three. It's sweet he's concerned any rumors might bother me when so many other things are vying for his attention.

Four: He's overestimating any possible gossip. We're not that interesting.

Five: The best thing you can do for him is take care of yourself and not add to his worries.

Perhaps tomorrow we can pick up where we left off. Smiling, Aalin left for the mess hall.

When she entered the dining area, all conversation stopped. All eyes turned in her direction.

Okay, I may have over underestimated the crew's interest. Appetite gone, Aalin fled to her quarters.

A/N: You may notice I increased the ship's compliment. Considering improving technology tends to require fewer operators, I assume the number of crew required to run a Constitution class ship reduced in the years between Captains Pike and Kirk.