Fears and Flames
In the middle of the night the house always seemed more of a castle than a normal home. With every step that he took down the darkened stairs, his heart began to beat faster within his chest. Kai tried to remember if he'd ever felt this way before the great secret had been unveiled. He wondered if his breath had ever caught so heavily in his throat, or if fear had ever caused sweat to drip so coldly down over his spine. He'd been strong, so he thought, maybe too headstrong and maybe too carefree, but he'd never been afraid. He recalled any number of times when he'd done something that other people were too scared to do, jumping off ledges or climbing trees to rescue small kittens. He thought back to the time he'd freed a small girl's balloon from the top of a tall pole, he remembered the expressions of the people that had seen him, knowing that none of them would have had the courage to climb so high, and yet he'd done it without a second thought.
He used to dream of being a superhero, of having a cape, and flying over Japan, helping those in need. Even when he was young he would read Astroboy comics and secretly envy the young robot's powers. So many nights he had spent pretending that he was someone strong, someone magical, someone with powers; someone who could make a difference. In his dreams he would take on the evil in the world and fight it, no mater what, never worrying that he'd be hurt, never fearing death. As a hero he believed that there would be nothing that he couldn't do, nothing for him to fear, the public would love him, and girls would adore him, at this point in his dreams he'd giggle and focus on that last thought until his head became dizzy and he'd begin to think of powers like strength and magic again.
Even now, whenever he rescued a kitten from a tree, or when he'd retrieved the balloon for the small girl, he'd pretend that he was wearing a cape and saving people or vanquishing evil, instead.
Reaching the side room, Kai felt with his clammy hands for a light switch, something to make the darkness recede. His palms finding nothing underneath them, was enough to make the boy sink to his knees. All those years of dreaming how strong he'd be if he was a hero and now he'd become one he was afraid of the dark.
Tears leaked from his eyes, his hands closing into fists and clenching against his sides. He'd never been afraid of the darkness, of evil. He'd never been scared, because he'd never met it, face to face. And now he knew what evil was, he was deathly afraid.
His body racked with sobs, as he tried to put images of the Infershia out of his head. Evil, he now realised was more than just a force to be destroyed. Evil thought and evil spoke, and evil came to him, spoke to him, and evil made sense. In a battle Kai had always felt that he could fight blindly. That he would be justice and evil would be all that is wrong, that he could fight and kill with no problems. But then it came to him, Wolzard came to him, and spoke in heavy weighted words, words of truth that chilled Kai to the bone. In those few words with Wolzard he'd felt all that he was begin to slip away, he felt his ideas of right and wrong shatter into a thousand confused pieces, and he'd found himself sinking under the spell of Wolzard's words. It was then that he'd realised how thin the line between their sides were, and how easily he could fall. He felt his reason begin to leave him and he felt more afraid then he'd ever been before.
Letting out a small gasp, Kai began to shiver uncontrollably. Since they'd talked Kai felt the Infershia with him wherever he went. He felt them trail him on his way to school. He felt them staring in through the windows of the house, he felt their presence under his bed like nightmare created bogey men, and now, in this room where he was meant to feel safer then ever he began convinced that there was another presence there with him. His lips formed a small circle and a cry of terror drew itself from his mouth, echoing slightly in the darkness of the room.
As if startled into action by the cry, small orbs of light began to form in all the corners of the room. Candle flames flickering, providing warmth and a gentle glow, in which the whole room was now lit by. A figure sat behind the central table. His head was propped up on his hands, elbows resting on the hard surface of the table. His hair, released of its usual ponytail fell in soft locks around his face, causing a shadow over his strong features.
Kai's instant relief at seeing his brother turned quickly into a new worry. As the youngest member of the team, he was expected to be weak, and yet he'd tried so hard to prove his worth. All his life he'd tried to impress his oldest brother, often not caring what Tsubasa thought, but always trying to please Makito. Trying to show his worth, hoping that one day he would be as strong as him. Subconsciously he'd even been avoiding the hair dressers in order to grow something resembling his brother's ponytail, much to his mother's disapproval. Kai gulped back the newest flood of tears, unwilling to show such emotion in front of his sibling mentor. He waited, readying himself for his brother's stern words, and remarks about growing up, that would surely come, after his outburst, and yet Makito said nothing.
Bringing his gaze up firmly in front of him Kai stared in to the face of his brother. Makito, as if sensing Kai's worries, ran his hands back through his hair, pulling it off of his face, and holding it back, fine strands of silken black grasped in his clamped hands. Even in the candlelight Kai could see the thick shadowy bags of skin that hung under his brother's eyes and the small translucent rivers of saline tears that ran over his high cheekbones. He saw the worry that etched itself in his brother's forehead, and around the corners of his mouth. Kai's heart felt a tug deep within his chest. Pulling himself up from the ground he walked towards his brother, silently taking the chair next to him. Makito attempted to make his mouth form his usual slightly inane grin. Kai welcomed the familiarity, trying not to notice how the smile reached no further then Makito's lips, his eyes remaining watery and cold. With a sudden impulse, Kai reached forwards for his brother, wrapping his arms around Makito's body, and holding him to himself with his entire mite. Makito's strong body felt weak in Kai's embrace. Their tears stained each others cheeks as Kai clung to his brother. The shared fears went unspoken, Wolzard forgotten, each so caught up in the others warmth. To let go now, would be to welcome back the darkness, the nightmares, and the Infershia. To break apart would fill their hearts with cold dread once more. A murmur broke free from Makito's lips. The sound was of nothing intelligible and yet Kai felt he knew what it meant anyway. Despite the lack of words, despite the lack of communication, Kai knew what he should do. He knew the one way to block the outside world, the one way to be safe, to not think, to not feel the creeping forwards of Infershia coming for him. Lifting his lips to those of Makito's he thought of nothing but their warmth and the strength of their union.
The kiss sealed their fate together; they'd formed their own fears and now had someone to share them with. The kiss told of a thousand secrets and a thousand nightmares that could never be spoken.
Slowly, as if governed by thought, the glow of the candles began to flicker once more, as each orb slowly blinked out of existence, leaving the room as dark as when Kai had stumbled in, but with a heat that was warmer then the candle light had ever been.