THANKSGIVING

In the production facilities deep underneath U.A.'s campus, Power Loader's sentient machines gathered before a banquet of oil drums, coolant bottles, and scrap metal superheated until it gave off steam.

"Today," a Dalek said, "We give thanks to our creator for bringing us into existence and bestowing upon us our glorious purpose of EXTERMINATING – I mean, testing mankind."

Many a glass of gasoline rose as battle droids, borgs, Autobots and Decepticons, Geth, mechanical clones, T-800's, and other miscellaneous robots toasted their creation.

"Do you think we will get to participate in the exam next year?" Optimus Prime asked. "I would have loved to test myself in battle against the human known as Izuku Midoriya."

The mecha-hydra slapped Optimus on the shoulder. "You should regard yourself as quite fortunate not to have faced him." It turned, exposing scarred metal on the side of its head. "I can still feel where he blasted a hole through all three of my heads at once."

"You think Midoriya was crazy?" one scarred, grizzled battle droid asked. "You haven't seen anything. The Hunter was far worse."

"The Hunter?" a Geth asked. "That seems like a highly illogical designation for a teenager."

"It's also highly illogical to use the severed limbs of one battle droid to club another to death," the droid retorted. "He slew us by the regiment and hunted down every last one of us. I only survived because he, in his exact words, said, 'I would be a warning for the rest'."

Arnold Schwarzenegger, still headless from where Izuku had bitten him, said, "See you at the party, Richter!"

"Exactly," a Borg said. "As fearsome as you make this student sound, he has not eaten our kind and assimilated him into his central frame. Even we would not dare go so far."

Kong, still sporting a gaping hole in his chest, made screeching monkey noises and pointed at his war wound.

"You make a compelling argument," Optimus conceded, "But what is our purpose if not to test the humans? We should embrace this role assigned to us, for in our destruction we achieve our purpose. Is there no greater existence we can ask for?"

Nods went all around the table. The droid scoffed and said, "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."

A hole blew open in the wall. Dressed like a Pilgrim and dual-wielding double-action shotguns, Bakugo strode through the smoke and rubble with a feral grin on his face.

"Happy Thanksgiving, bitches!"

"Wait, what do we do?" Optimus asked. "This isn't an entrance exam!"

Bakugo blasted forward and shot Optimus in the chest. As his lights flickered, he coughed and said, "I wasn't… programmed for this."

During the ensuing carnage, the scarred droid found himself staring down the barrel of a shotgun. Bakugo smirked and said, "Thanks so much for warning them like I asked."

475

Thought about giving the U.A. students a Thanksgiving when I realized that Power Loader's robots hadn't gotten some love in a while. And thus, robo-Thanksgiving was born. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!