MONTAGE

"Listen up, brat," Gran Torino said as he paced across his living room, which had some duct tape wrapped around it to hold the walls in place. "I have one week to bring One for All out of you. Since we're short on time, we'll be using one of the most powerful and efficient training methods known to man."

"Would this happen to be CrossFit?" Izuku asked.

Gran Torino threw a wrench at Izuku's head. The steel tool bent on impact and bounced off. "No, you idiot! Where did you get that from, the internet?"

"Yes."

"Kids these days," Gran Torino muttered, "Rotting their brains with internet, and videogames, and T.V., and radios. Back in my day, they wrote on papyrus with rocks, and that's all we needed! We built giant monuments out of stone with our bare hands for the fun of it! And now, kids whine and complain when you make them clean a whole beach, saying things like 'My hands are bleeding' and 'I didn't get my tetanus shot'. Bah."

"So, we are doing yoga then?"

"What are you, a middle aged woman?"

"No, I am a fifteen year old male. Are you experiencing problems with your vision?"

"I'm not blind, you've lost your mind."

"I just ran a diagnostic scan. My CPU is still located inside my cranium."

"We're doing a training montage!" Gran Torino shouted.

"That does not appear to be listed as a training technique."

"Of course not. If everyone knew about it, everyone would do it. Now, let's get moving. Daylight's burning!"

Gran Torino brought out an old, battered radio. Eye of the Tiger crackled fitfully out of its weathered speakers.

"Bench presses, let's go!"

The barbell had five tons on each end. Izuku lifted it effortlessly over his chest.

"Next, wind sprints. Move it!"

Izuku ran half a lap across the living room before Gran Torino shouted, "Jump rope, get those legs moving!"

Izuku hovered in place while the rope whipped around him at blinding speeds.

"Hit that punching bag!"

Izuku punched the bag hard enough to launch it through Gran Torino's wall. The roof collapsed as all the duct tape came undone.

"Knew I should've gone with flex tape," Gran Torino muttered sourly. "Push-ups, on your pinkies!"

Suspended only on his pinky fingers and pinky toes, Izuku pushed himself up and down with the speed of a jackhammer.

"Now gulp down two raw eggs and a cup of protein powder!"

Izuku threw two eggs, still in their shells, and a whole plastic container of protein powder down the hatch.

"More jogging!"

A week later, Gran Torino watched aghast as Izuku approached each exercise with no sign of fatigue.

"I don't understand it," the retired hero muttered. "Toshinori broke down crying after fifteen minutes."

"What next, Gran Torino-san?" Izuku asked.

"Screw it, it's time to bring out my ultimate technique."

"Tae bo?"

"Nope! Throw 'em in the deep end!"

Izuku smiled and said, "I will get my swimsuit."

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