Disclaimer: The plot, Stacey and her mother are mine. The Nursery Rhyme characters and their respective poems belong to their respective creators.

Summary: Originally written as a play by me and some friends for our practical drama exam. You thought Nursery Rhymes were fun? Think Again…

Nursery Rhyme Nightmares : Chapter One

The Nursery world you think is kind,

But afterward you'll change your mind.

With Humpty Dumpty, who never broke,

And Little Miss Muffet, who always spoke.

Jack pushed Jill down the hill,

So now our story begins with a spill.

Once upon a time, but not so very long ago, there lived a little girl called Stacey.

Stacey lived in a small house, in a small town, with her mother and lots of books about nursery rhymes.

Stacey loved nursery rhymes and would even watch them on the television, even when her mother told her not to, and said that she should go out and play more often.

Stacey didn't listen. Nursery rhymes were good, weren't they? So why did her mother always complain? But children should listen to their parents, otherwise bad things tend to happen…

The story begins one fine day when Stacey was watching a nursery rhyme show on the television and her mother walked in.

Stacey tried to hide the TV remote, but her mother had already seen it. "Stacey! I've already told you to turn that thing off! You need to go out into the fresh air now and then, and read something that is not a nursery rhyme!"

Stacey scowled. "I don't need fresh air, and I like nursery rhymes! You're just being mean!"

Her mother was not intimidated. "I don't want to have to say it again, no more nursery rhymes! Now go to your room until you can behave!"

Stacey jumped up and ran to her room, slamming the door. Then she started to feel bored, so she picked a book of nursery rhymes to read to herself. As she read, she started to feel sleepy and didn't notice the swirl of white light gathering nearby.

Five minutes later, Stacey was asleep with her head on a page of 'The Cat and The Fiddle.'

She woke with a start at the bottom of a hill, a Neon-pink bucket lying next to her head. Suddenly, Stacey heard a loud shriek and turned just in time to dodge another little girl tumbling down the hill.

The girl scrambled to her feet, looking furious. She completely ignored Stacey and appeared to be searching for someone as she snarled, "Where is that worthless brother of mine? Jack is going to pay for pushing me down that hill and spilling my pail of water!"

Stacey cautiously approached the girl. "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am? Who are you?"

The girl spun around and glared at Stacey. "I'm Jill, and we're in Nursery Rhyme Land. Just how thick are you, girl?"

Stacey backed away slightly. "I'm Stacey. I fell asleep reading nursery rhymes and wound up here."

Jill did not seem to be listening. "That's nice. Are you sure you haven't seen my brother Jack?"

Stacey shook her head as she picked up the discarded bucket. "No, sorry."

Jill glared at her again and snatched the bucket out of Stacey's hands. "Then give me back my pail and go find your own way back."

Jill stormed away, shouting for her brother. Stacey almost felt sorry for him. "She wasn't very nice."

Oh well, standing around was not going to get her anywhere. Stacey started walking again.

After a while Stacey reached a small clearing where a small footstool sat next to a bowl of what looked like some sort of food. Feeling hungry, Stacey sat down and began to eat. As she ate, she missed seeing the young woman stalking into the clearing until she spoke. "Where is that spider? He is going to pay for what he did to me!"

Stacey jumped up in surprise, dropping the bowl, and whirled around. "I haven't seen any spiders, but can you tell me how to get out of Nursery Rhyme land? And who are you?"

The young woman was not listening past the first five words, and was now glaring at Stacey. "I'm Little Miss Muffet, and what are you doing with my curds and whey? Don't you know that they are all I have to eat! Just for that, you can find your own way out."

Fed up, Stacey glared right back at her. "Fine, you can have them! Anyway, they taste like old granny food."

Little Miss Muffet had been walking away, but now stopped, marching up to Stacey. "Old granny food? Do I look like a Granny? Do you see any wrinkles? NO, you don't! I use Nursery Rhyme Anti-wrinkle cream! Little Miss Muffet showing wrinkles? Hah! Now go and annoy somebody else, I have a spider to hunt down!"

Little Miss Muffet stalked off, muttering under her breath.

Stacey headed quickly in the opposite direction. What was wrong with the characters here? People out of Nursery Rhymes were supposed to be kind and happy, not push little lost children around! "She wasn't very nice either."

Roughly an hour later, Stacey had decided that she was never going near nursery rhymes for the rest of her life. Thinking on how soon she could throw her books out the window when she got home, Stacey almost missed seeing a pair of identical twin boys tossing a third boy back and forth over a small bonfire, cheered on by Jill and a little girl with a curl on her forehead, shouting something about Jack jumping this candlestick. Stacey went white and ran over. "What is going on? Why are you doing this? Who are you?"

Jill ignored her, but the other girl turned toward her. "I'm the little girl who had a little curl. Jack said he could jump over any candlestick but Tweedledum and Tweedledee didn't believe him. So Jack said they could choose any candlestick they liked and he would jump it." She indicated the bonfire, "But we all thought he might need a bit of help with this one."

Stacey decided not to press the issue. "Okay. Um, can you tell me how to get out of Nursery Rhyme Land?"

The Little Girl who had a little curl shrugged. "No idea. Now, are you going to stay with us or are you going to shove off? Your choice." Then she paused, tilting her head. "Hey, aren't you the girl that Jill ran into at the Hill?"

Stacey nodded. "Yes. Why?"

The Little Girl who had a little curl frowned. "Oh. Go away then."

She turned back to the bonfire. Stacey turned and continued walking. "They weren't very nice."

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A/N - So, what do people think?

This is my first attempt at Fairy Tales / Nursery Rhymes so constructive critisism is always appreciated.

If you want to see the original script version, you can either message me and I'll send it to you, or visit my profile on it, Hate it or don't give a damn, tell me in a review.

Thanks, Nathalia.