Muse
Regina sank into a chair and sighed. "That's me done. After nearly two weeks of double-shifts and more, I'm off for the next thirty-six hours." She accepted the bottle of beer. "From your private stash?"
Her roommate Petr nodded. "You earned it." After opening his own bottle, he took a long drink. "And so did I. Louvier's been even more meticulously anal this past week … if that's possible."
"Try having Spock lurking behind your shoulder watching you work … I mean supervising. You know, he can stand motionless for hours and not once speak. That's worse than constant critiques." Regina snorted. "And Vulcans don't break for a two-hour lunch."
Petr grinned, "The perks of being an engineer are many." Pointing a thumb over his left shoulder he added, "Unlike our friend over there from Security, I don't need to spend hours in the gym to get a date. I can fix replicators; that skill trumps ripped abs. And for the record, the two-hour lunch story is apocryphal, a rumor started by Louvier to annoy Number One."
"Figures."
The crew had spent the past two weeks studying a large asteroid field and its unusual properties. With the mappings finished and preparations completed for circumventing it, impromptu parties were springing up throughout the ship including in the large mess hall in the part of the ship unofficially dubbed the "lower decks."
"The first officer and chief engineer don't get along?" a newcomer asked.
"Of course they get along. But they …" Regina started.
"Have different styles. Vastly different styles. And when time permits needle each other for amusement and sport," Petr finished. He offered a beer.
The Ensign joining their conversation shook her head. "I'm sticking with water tonight."
"That's right, our fresh-faced junior ops specialist loses her virginity tomorrow morning," Petr explained.
"We haven't met yet. I'm Regina by the way. From stellar cartography. First rotation on the bridge?"
Mehar nodded.
"Don't worry, they'll assign you one of the sensor stations or maybe environmental monitoring," Regina said. "And we'll be at a standing yellow alert while traveling around the asteroid field, so you'll only have a four-hour shift."
"She's a bit nervous," Petr said.
"More like petrified. I know I'll do something stupid; I just know it." Mehar fidgeted knocking her glass of water onto the floor. "Oh dear." She started to stand.
Petr placed a hand on her shoulder. "Stay put, I'll take care of it." He returned with a another filled glass, handing it to Mehar then cleaning up the spilled water.
Regina motioned to a friend. "No one on this ship is going to hold a mistake against you. And everyone thinks Number One is scary. But here's a little secret, she has a heart of gold and will go out of her way to help if you ask."
Resuming his seat Petr said, "And our Captain not only openly discusses his errors, but he also often jokes about them. Though he never makes fun of another's."
Mehar's brow creased and she nodded half-heartedly.
Petr and Regina exchanged knowing looks. He spoke, "You deserve to be here, you know, you earned this posting to the flagship."
Regina smiled. "Don't forget that. Out of stacks and stacks and stacks of applicants and recommendations, Commander Chin-Riley and Captain Pike chose you."
"And then she probably put you through one of her famous tests," Petr added.
"You mean infamous," Sam corrected joining the table.
"Sam's a surgery tech in Medical," Petr said by way of introduction. "He worked in one of the aid stations on Noohra."
"Oh," Mehar said while inhaling sharply. "I joined the ship after that mission, but I heard it was bad."
Sam's eyes defocused for a moment. "Yeah, it was tough."
All in the mess hall looked to the doorway when Pike entered. A few seconds later, after noting his civilian clothing, ongoing conversations resumed. He circled the room stopping and speaking with each group.
"You look like a cat caught with the pet hamster in her mouth," Regina teased Mehar smiling to ensure the junior officer understood there was no implied criticism. "After a long stretch of work our commander often checks-in informally." She leaned over and whispered in an amused tone, "Relax. Dad knows we indulge in spirits occasionally. And its rumored he has the best stocked bar on the ship."
"Oh, it's not that," Mehar said with a sheepish expression.
"Ensign Sian," Pike said while indicating with a wave of his hand she and the others should remain in their seats.
"Yes sir?" Mehar answered in a soft unsure tone.
Pike's mouth ticked up slightly on one side revealing a dimple. "You've been avoiding me."
"No sir! I mean … not on purpose sir …"
"No worries. We'll try again," Pike reassured. "Everyone doing OK?"
The quartet nodded, each also verbalizing their own response.
"Lieutenant Mendez?"
"Yes sir?" Rachel answered.
"Lieutenant Spock commended your work and dedication charting the asteroid field. Well done. And I better not catch you in the lab over these next three days," Pike warned in a tone of voice laced with humor and his expression morphing into a pretend frown.
"Oh, I can guarantee you won't sir. I'll be in my pjs the entire time catching up on the latest vids, and working my way through the junk food menu," Rachel replied with a grin.
"Nice work these past couple of weeks, all of you. Enjoy the party," Pike said before moving on to the next group and the next and the next, then exiting.
Mehar's cheeks flushed. She rubbed them. "Thank God I didn't blush while he was standing here."
"Dodging your 'welcome aboard' one-on-one?" Sam asked.
"It's a Captain Pike thing," Petr said.
"And a good thing," Rachel added. "We talked for over two hours during mine. Though, I am a bit chatty."
Petr snorted, "You have no idea. She even talks in her sleep."
"What's he like?" Mehar asked. She clarified, "I mean Captain Pike."
Rachel, Petr, Sam, and others nearby responded. "Down to earth." "Friendly." "Easy-going." "Kind." "At times unwaveringly patient, at other times impatient." "Funny." "Hopeful." "Prepared, like a boy scout." "Interested." "Tenacious." "Optimistic." "Open." "Genuine." "Quick tempered." "Voraciously curious." "Private."
"A bit accident prone." A few laughs followed. "A bit?"
"Just a regular guy," Sam added. "Imperfect but trying to live up to his beliefs."
"The kind of guy you take home over the holidays to meet your parents to show them you've matured and are making better relationship choices," Rachel mused while peering into her empty bottle. She looked up at the three pairs of eyes staring at her. "What? He's hot. Is there more beer?"
Petr opened bottle and handed it to her. "Captain Pike's got balls of steel. It would be unwise to play chicken with him."
Accepting the beer Rachel retorted in a dry tone, "And you rolled your eyes at my comment." She glanced at Mehar's unsure expression and gestured in her direction. "We haven't helped you, have we. Look there is a reason folks compete to be posted to Enterprise. Sure, it's partly the plum assignments: we're astronauts, diplomats, and soldiers, we see and experience what others only dream of, and we see it first. But mostly it's our leader. Wanna explore deep space? Wanna stand as a bulwark against hazards and foes? Captain Pike's your best shot of making it home."
Sam nodded. "Our commander doesn't look at us as underlings; he sees himself as in service to us. He's a teacher and a mentor."
"And if you're still nervous about talking with him one on one, ask a question about horses." Petr chuckled. "He's fond of them."
"That's low-balling it. OK. I've literally been sleeping in the mapping lab these past two weeks. Catch me up. What's the latest gossip? Is one of Starfleet's most eligible bachelors off the market or are they still circling each other and playing patty-cake?"
Sam motioned to the group, and all leaned forward. He then answered Rachel's question, "A friend of the roommate of a nurse on delta shift is dating a member of the damage control team assigned to deck three. Two weeks ago during an early morning drill she saw Lieutenant Matthews leave the Captain's quarters."
"But," Petr interjected, "They haven't been seen together since then. So Matthews might have been in his quarters for a meeting rather than a tryst."
"If it were professional, he would have called her to the ready room not his quarters. And there's been no recent crisis requiring the services of an interpreter, so why would they be talking about work early in the morning?" Rachel pointed out. "Wait, they haven't been seen together since then? Not even for …"
Petr grinned, "The unplanned yet simultaneous visit to the mess hall on deck three at the same time every night? The daily coincidence which shall not be termed a date? No."
"So did they, or didn't they?" Rachel queried. "Bottom line conclusion."
"Oh they did, they definitely did," Sam affirmed.
"Absolutely," Petr added.
"And?"
"And what?"
"Is she avoiding him or visa versa?" Rachel restated.
"I don't know," Sam answered. "Matthews strikes me as a bit cold and stand-offish at times. Though maybe the Captain's simply been too busy assessing the asteroid field and our next steps."
"Mehar?"
"Yes sir?"
Rachel continued, "You may not yet be aware. There is an unspoken rule on Enterprise, we never, ever discuss the crews' private lives with anyone off ship, especially the Captain's. We're proprietary and protective of him. He has our backs, and we have his. Understood?"
"Of course, sir."
ooooo
Chris felt guilty. While checking in with his crew, his attention kept splitting between them and his earlier conversation with Aalin. He finally retreated to his quarters once completing the lower decks with a self-made promise to see to the others tomorrow. Pouring a generous drink, he drifted into the sleeping area.
I am fortunate. Many may have promised to remain friends after aborting the romance, but Aalin will see through her commitment to preserving our friendship. It's not … everything I wanted, but at least she will be in my life. Now it's up to me to meet her gracious offer and nurture her. To make the friendship easy for her.
Opening a bedside cabinet he pulled out a sketchpad. Drawing was a favored hobby. A private hobby. A piece of himself belonging solely to him. Over the years this small privacy and others helped augment the core strength required for carrying the responsibilities of command.
Flipping through the pages of the thick book, the drawings increasingly favored one subject and then focused only on that subject. His fingertips traced a profile image, touching it like a caress. He had sketched it from memory one late night after Enterprise departed Noohra.
Aalin had become his muse.
To my crew I am Captain Pike, an officer, a leader, and a caretaker. To others I am Christopher Pike, a friend, a confidant, a former lover. To my parents I am a son. But with Aalin I am only Chris; persona boundaries dissolved, all vulnerabilities and personality quirks welcomed and soothed in the comfort of her presence. With her I feel safe, I am safe. And loved.
ooooo
The next day, Aalin waited in the mess hall on deck three at their usual table. As typical owing to the crews' discretion it was otherwise empty at this hour. Anxious, unsure if she could be a friend despite wanting a different place in Chris' life, she alternated between drumming fingers on the table then nervously watching the door.
Stay. You have to. You promised him.
The appointed time came, Chris did not. Her insecurities began to shout. She propped elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands.
Glancing up again Aalin saw Chris standing near the entry, hovering as if deciding whether to stay or to leave.
It's odd, seeing him hesitant rather than the unflappable, ever confident leader.
He approached the replicator and issued a quiet command. Approaching with two mugs Chris placed one in front of Aalin then sat in the opposite seat. She sipped her tea. He ignored his. The silence felt heavy, oppressive. He stared out of the viewport. She began fidgeting again.
"There's never anyone else here, at this time. What are the odds of that?"
Aalin jerked at the sudden sound of his voice. Her reaction tore at his heart.
She thought, He has a charming naïveté about little things.
Silence descended again.
Just as Chris was about to excuse himself and retreat to shield her from additional discomfort, Aalin asked in a tiny, quiet voice, "How was your day?"
Those words from their first late night chat all those months ago on the journey to Varia, they worked their magic again.
And a sliver of Chris and Aalin's natural rapport clicked back into place.