The 1000 pound summoner
There was once a summoner. Her name was XALVADORA. She just so happened to weigh 1,000 pounds. That is very fat. She was not pretty. She had many, many, MANY pimples all over her face. Not many people wanted to date her. Except Clasko. Clasko and Xalvadora were deeply in love and were about to have babies. Those babies boosted her weight up to 2,000 pounds.
OMG
She had three guardians. One of them was named Zahi. He was purple. He was also quite large but only weighed 2.5 pounds.
OMG
Her other guardian was a female named Qiana. She resembled a warthog. She rode tow trucks. And her power was the magic of mud.
OMFG
Her final guardian was named Humpertoe. This guardian was a junior who was a man, a woman, and a wombat. Heshe liked raspberries. They fought with the weapon bottle cap. But not just any bottle cap. Ordinary bottle cap number 1, ordinary bottle cap number 2, and ordiany bottle cap number 27.
OMGGG
This bottle cap had a fat Hungarian woman dancing on it. And when they threw it at someone, a fat Hungarian lady would jump on their face and dance like a couple of rhinos having a gay parade. She also had a pet. Named Uzuri. Uzuri was a munchichi. Munchichis are super soft and cuddly like snuggle and his donuts of wrath and bread.
LU BU APPEARED AMD DIDN'T WANT US TO START A FOREST FIRE.
Xalvadora had 84 kids but 82 died becase when she was giving birth she crushed them with her man arms and mugs.
One of her kids was named Fredderick. Frederrick was a turkey baster who could kill Auron. And that's all he could do.
One of her kids was named Virendra. When she blinked, she can summon a herd of ordinary old people. This ability is special because most people are afraid of spiders.
19 action news.
This just in. 1,000 pound summoner is going on an adventure. Would you join her? Stay tuned and find out at 11:00.
I would not joined her on her journey.
Xalvadora just had another baby. But this baby wasn't actually a baby. It was more like a Neball. A nerf neball. And so the story goes there was one time were I was walking in a forest and there was an old lady and she offered me candy but I said no because candy hurts my teeth and I don't like that very much the end maybe tomorrow.