HOSPITAL

Izuku's heart monitor gave out a long, doleful tone as he, Iida, and Todoroki all sat in hospital beds.

"Excuse me, miss!" Iida shouted at the nurse, "But is there any way the faulty heart monitor could be silenced? It is quite distracting and impossible to sleep with."

"Oh, that's not faulty, Midoriya-san doesn't have a heartbeat. Of course, the head doctor has us monitoring his heart until we find a beat." The nurse grinned and said, "The doctor's got ten-thousand yen on us finding a beat before he leaves."

A knock came at the door. "Ooh, speak of the devil. Remember, Midoriya-san, mama's got three bottles of vodka riding on that bet! No heartbeats!"

The doctor came in holding a clipboard. "Ah, Midoriya-san, how are you feeling?"

"I feel excellent as usual, thank you for asking!"

"Good. Well, I'm afraid your insurance didn't go through, so here's the medical bill."

Izuku took the offered clipboard and stared at it. "Would you like that as a check, or is credit acceptable?"

The doctor blinked. "You're not freaking out?"

"Is there any reason I should be? This transaction appears to be in order."

"I charged you thirty-thousand yen for a Band-Aid! How are you not freaking out?"

Izuku printed a check out of his mouth. "Here you are."

The doctor tore it up. "Relax kid, this isn't the States. It was a joke." The doctor muttered, "I'll have to try something else."

As the doctor left, Chief of Police Tsuragamae entered the room.

"I'm sorry to inform the three of you that, pending your departure from this hospital room, you will be un-fur-tunately arrested fur vigilantism, woof. I had hoped to co-fur this up by crediting Stain's capture to another hero, but, the pup-arazzi got photos of you wheeling Stain out in a block of ice, so giving Endeavor the credit is not paw-sible."

Izuku nodded and took out his phone. Tsuragamae asked, "Who are you calling?"

"My mom's lawyers."

When the phone picked up, a deliveryman knocked on Izuku's door. He held out a suitcase and said, "Sign here."

Once Izuku signed, the suitcase clicked open, and a lawyer stepped out.

"My client was acting under Gran Torino's supervision."

"He explicitly disobeyed Gran Torino's orders by leaving his sight."

"I never left his sight."

Gran Torino popped out of the garbage basket. "Like hell you did brat! Why'd you run off?"

"All Might said you could see anything, even if you were not in the room."

Gran Torino scowled. "One moment." He hopped back in the garbage bin, and All Might's screams of terror echoed from half a city away.

"In any event," the Police Chief said, "We cannot-"

The door opened again, and the doctor rushed in, screaming Ooga-Booga and wearing a purple mask. Tsuragamae promptly pulled out his pistol and shot him three times.

As everyone in the room, including the doctor, gaped at him, the Police Chief said, "Woofs. Forgot this isn't the States."

497

'Murica!

Also, there's three new stories that exist on my profile, for three different fandoms, that all dropped on Christmas. If you haven't seen them yet, why not check them out?