PIANO

A piano tilted precariously at the end of a rope over the entrance to U.A. Sitting on the rooftop overlooking the deathtrap, Katsuki held the other end of the rope. The other students, seeing its shadow on the sidewalk, all veered around the piano.

"What are you doing?"

"Today's the day I free the human race from its imminent destruction."

"Fantastic! How are you going to accomplish that?"

"I've realized the problem with all my plans to annihilate the machines. I've relied too much on what everyone thinks works on robots, be it magnets, water, acid, paradoxes, or irrational numbers. Well, no more! This time, I went with the stupidest plan possible, by having Kirishima tell me what to do."

"So, you strung up a piano over the school entrance."

"Exactly! That way, when Deku walks under it, the piano will fall and crush him in so many pieces that even Auntie Inko couldn't put it back together again. Without their infiltration unit, the computers will have to devise a new plan to take over the world, which will buy enough time for me to become the number one hero, declare all machines as villains, and save human civilization from their impending doom!"

"I see! But then, what would happen if I did not take the main entrance, and instead, leapt up the side of the building to see what you were doing on the roof?"

Katsuki turned and gave Deku a chilling grin. "That's the best part. I knew you would have anticipated Kirishima's plan, so I made a minor edit."

Katsuki let go of the rope. An anvil fell out of the sky, crashed into Deku, smashed a hole through the roof, crashed through Cementoss' desk, tore a hole in Aizawa's sleeping bag, and fell into Nezu's tea stash in the basement. A billowing cloud of tea-scented dust wafted from the gaping hole as Katsuki leaned over the edge to bask in his victory.

"At last, the robot menace has been thwarted!"

A wince-inducing, bone-rattling scrape of metal on metal sounded from behind Katsuki. Izuku, covered in looseleaf tea, goose down, and pages from Cementoss' novel, bit into Katsuki's anvil. "Thank you for the present! The anvil was most delicious."

"This isn't over!" Katsuki shouted, shaking his fist. "I'll be back, with another-"

"Ahem!"

Behind Katsuki, Cementoss, Aizawa, and Nezu all stood with their arms crossed. Aizawa held up his eviscerated sleeping bag and said, "Logically speaking, you have a lot of detention to serve."

Meanwhile, Mineta, staring at the girls in front of him, never saw the looming shadow. When he walked under the piano, the rope snapped, and the piano fell on him with a thunderous crash of keys. Moments later, the lid popped open. "Ha!" Mineta shouted, patting the spheres on his head, "My massive, bouncy balls kept me safe!"

Another rope snapped, and an anvil crashed onto Mineta. Mineta raised a shaking arm from under the piano rubble and said, "A little help please."

500

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