SHORT

Mineta awoke to find his ankles bound to a cold metal floor. "Please let me be in some sexy dominatrix' dungeon."

"I did not just hear you say that."

Jirou scowled at him from where she was fastened to the other wall. Mineta gulped and said, "A bisexual sexy dominatrix?"

"Are you going to get us out of here or not?"

"What can I do?"

"Use your hands, maybe?"

Mineta laughed and said, "How, they're bolted to the…" He held his hands in front of his face. "Wait, what?"

"Look up."

Mineta looked up. Two clamps for arms loomed over his head, too far to even touch with his fingertips.

"You cannot be serious."

"Hey, be grateful the guards didn't bother to handcuff you. Now get us out of here!"

"Nope! I refuse to make it out of here because I'm too short for the big-boy restraints. Hey sexy dominatrix ladies! My hands are free and they're planning all sorts of naughty things. Aren't you going to tie me up and teach me a lesson?"

One of Jirou's earlobes snaked free and pressed under Mineta's throat. "Get us out of here or I will castrate you."

Mineta, white with terror, squeaked out a "Meep!" and opened his restraints.

Down the hall, Jirou and Mineta found two guards in white armor standing at the end of the hallway.

"Do you wonder why we're here?" the first asked.

"It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night."

"What? I mean, why are we on this space station?"

Jirou's earlobes wriggled under their armor and found their jugulars. "Great question. Why are you guys here?"

The two guards turned around slowly. "Come on, did you have to interrupt the RvB bit?"

Jirou dug in the jack. "Did I stutter?"

"We're under strict orders not to-"

Jirou's earlobe darted lower. The guard went deathly still. "We're here on orders from the Emperor to find the rebel base we believe to be hidden in this sector."

Once the guards had spilled everything, Jirou had them both take off their armor and locked them inside the empty cell.

"Can I at least go to the bathroom first?" a guard asked. "I need to pee."

"Hold it." Jirou fastened her armor into place while Mineta struggled with the pants. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"

"Nah, it's fine, I have a great idea!" Mineta shoved his sticky spheres into the legs, stood on top, and clamped the chest-piece over himself. The helmet didn't make it past his hair. "See?"

"I'm over here Mineta."

Mineta turned around. "Wait, don't leave me behind! I'm coming!"

"But I'm…" Jirou watched him run headfirst into a wall and disappear around a corner. "Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine."

500

Mineta's always dreamed of waking up handcuffed to a wall. Too bad this story's rated T for That Will Never Happen.

So, if anyone's here wondering where Precognition's at… it's suffering from a bad case of writer's block. It'll come when it'll come.